Caption Competition Mk III

[Dan Gerous]

Hoskins couldn't understand why his boss sent him for parachute training, as he was travelling as pax.

[Wensleydale]

Unfortunately, the Aircrew Parachute Course that involved jumping from a Hercules into Poole Harbour had been cancelled on cost grounds. Hoskins couldn't understand the reasoning because the savings were just a drop in the ocean.

[treadigraph]

AD 1978 caption, BBC Head of Light Entertainment to the DG: "I'm not really sure who is on Top of the Pops this week, I believe these are Pansy People or The Village Idiots or some such silly name..."

[Kiltrash]

Jesus have you seen the woodworm, it's a death trap I tell you. Condem the structure. ....
Don't you know there's a War on. Do you think the Jerry's will use soft rubber swimming aids as you land?

[Kiltrash]

Bert, the clocks striking 3, that's your signal to come out.


​​​​

[Kiltrash]

Pike......Captain Mainwaring, I can see the German Invasion Fleet.....
Captain......Stupid boy we're 60 miles inland
Fraser.....Why is it called Walmington-on-sea then?
Sgt Wilson....Very high tide sir?

[NutLoose]

"Don't deploy your chute until you're 10 feet off the ground Paddy."
"Bejeezus, and what if the thing doesn't work?"
"You can jump 10 feet can't you?"
"I, that I can, let's be going then"

[NutLoose]

[Chu Chu]

Agents deploying to Eastern Europe receive anti-defenestration training.

[NutLoose]

Don't worry, look, they've turned the sound down so no one will hear your screams.

[Chu Chu]

After the black queen ran off with a white knight, and a bishop was caught in flagrante with a pawn, the Potentate tired of chess and set up a cuckold clock.

[Kiltrash]

Why exactly do I need a reserve 'chute?
Well of your main does not open you pull the reserve
Jesus is gravity not so strong in Aldershot?

[Kiltrash]

Chu Chu shows how his mind really works, unless it's a predictive text error.

[Chu Chu]

Well, they don't look much birds . . .

[Kiltrash]

I tawt I taw a puddy ta......🐱..

[Wensleydale]

Are you sure that this thing is the same height as Salisbury Cathedral?

[Kiltrash]

It was later discovered the instructor had entered the wrong weight in the spring mechanism.
Has anyone got a long ladder?

[c52]

Judging this time tomorrow.

[Kiltrash]

Well it looked bigger on 'flea'bay

[Kiltrash]

Was expecting a bit more space in the Yurt. Should have read the small print.