Marriage Breakdown and life in the Block
Join Date: Oct 2004
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Don't know.
Perhaps you could tell us all the full story of the Excel hostie situation?
Was it before or after he met Mrs CC? You seem to know, so please enlighten us.
Perhaps you could tell us all the full story of the Excel hostie situation?
Was it before or after he met Mrs CC? You seem to know, so please enlighten us.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
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Thanks for that. Once again do I have to stress that this really isn't the point. I just feel the military could perhaps offer some support that wouldn't cost anything (ie free storage) and perhaps even a Pantec to borrow to get stuff into storage.
Families get just shy of a grand in disturbance allowance for moving house on posting, I'm not suggesting anywhere near that amount but for all intents and purposes isn't this yet another forced move for a married couple?
Not just for me either - I feel obliged (and want to) help my wife out with the costs and logistics of removing her stuff also.
In this day and age of more seperations due to the changed expeditionary role of the Forces, I feel that the stats with regard to breakups will steadily climb, if they aren't already.
A gesture of recognition from the military that they understand the upheaval involved in a break-up and the ease in which it COULD affect your work if you let it wouldn't be such a bad idea would it?
Its not really about the money, as I said before I can cover it, I just think that it may not be necessary if a little thought went into it and some kind of help with the transportation and storage of possesions was offered.
Measured my 'new' room yesterday. 8ft x 7ft 'useable' space. 1 x double locker, 1 x single locker, a sink, a towel rail and a toiletries shelf. The carpet is ripped and stained all over, it hasn't had a re-dec in probably my lifetime and my new next door neighbour is an 18 year old trance/hardcore enthusiast.
Deep joy
CC
Families get just shy of a grand in disturbance allowance for moving house on posting, I'm not suggesting anywhere near that amount but for all intents and purposes isn't this yet another forced move for a married couple?
Not just for me either - I feel obliged (and want to) help my wife out with the costs and logistics of removing her stuff also.
In this day and age of more seperations due to the changed expeditionary role of the Forces, I feel that the stats with regard to breakups will steadily climb, if they aren't already.
A gesture of recognition from the military that they understand the upheaval involved in a break-up and the ease in which it COULD affect your work if you let it wouldn't be such a bad idea would it?
Its not really about the money, as I said before I can cover it, I just think that it may not be necessary if a little thought went into it and some kind of help with the transportation and storage of possesions was offered.
Measured my 'new' room yesterday. 8ft x 7ft 'useable' space. 1 x double locker, 1 x single locker, a sink, a towel rail and a toiletries shelf. The carpet is ripped and stained all over, it hasn't had a re-dec in probably my lifetime and my new next door neighbour is an 18 year old trance/hardcore enthusiast.
Deep joy
CC
Join Date: Mar 2004
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It all comes down to money doesn't it? Having ready the thread about us using all the ammo up in Helmand, it's obvious there is nothing spare for the likes of welfare!
You'd think with all the mothballed bases there would be somewhere to store things. Maybe there's an entrepaneur out there with the desire to kick start it!
You'd think with all the mothballed bases there would be somewhere to store things. Maybe there's an entrepaneur out there with the desire to kick start it!
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I was living in the mess a long way from home (Kinloss - Cranwell) when my wife and I split up. The RAF stopped paying me GYH, started charging me to live in the mess and charged me more for food. Thanks.
I just feel the military could perhaps offer some support that wouldn't cost anything (ie free storage)
and perhaps even a Pantec to borrow to get stuff into storage
Families get just shy of a grand in disturbance allowance for moving house on posting, I'm not suggesting anywhere near that amount but for all intents and purposes isn't this yet another forced move for a married couple?
This is not a verbal assault on you or your personal circumstances, just a brief appraisal of the rules as they stand.
As to your room neighbour, I think judicious use of a pair of wire cutters on his mains lead might resolve your problem either that or use the priveledge of your rank, unless it is an 18yr old scuffer then a quiet word out the back of the block might help.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
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How can vacating a married quarter on marriage break-up be personal choice and not a forced move?
Are you saying perhaps I should neglect to mention it and keep the house?
A borrowed Pantec to move stuff from FMQ onto camp, and the rest into on-camp storage would be negligible fuel costs. Total distance: A couple of miles.
Cost of renting van privately for same period and distance: About 60 quid.
Effect on morale that at least it appears the military 'cares' and is willing to help out where it can as it recognises the trauma of a breakup: Priceless
CC
Are you saying perhaps I should neglect to mention it and keep the house?
A borrowed Pantec to move stuff from FMQ onto camp, and the rest into on-camp storage would be negligible fuel costs. Total distance: A couple of miles.
Cost of renting van privately for same period and distance: About 60 quid.
Effect on morale that at least it appears the military 'cares' and is willing to help out where it can as it recognises the trauma of a breakup: Priceless
CC
CC, a marriage break-up is a personal thing, and no matter how much anybody thinks that service life contributes to any such break-up, it really is not their fault. Your wife married you knowing you were in the services and that could mean extended time away from home etc.
You chose to live in a quarter, under quarters rules, not a private home, would you expect the MOD to pay you to move out of a private home in the same circumstances, I suspect not.
Neglible fuel costs are still fuel costs, also include any vehicle wear and tear costs, insurance etc, as I believe that service vehicles are NOT insured for private usage.
As to morale and welfare, the MOD doesn't give a stuff.
All the best for the future, I just hope you can fully get rid of her before your promotion.
You chose to live in a quarter, under quarters rules, not a private home, would you expect the MOD to pay you to move out of a private home in the same circumstances, I suspect not.
Neglible fuel costs are still fuel costs, also include any vehicle wear and tear costs, insurance etc, as I believe that service vehicles are NOT insured for private usage.
As to morale and welfare, the MOD doesn't give a stuff.
All the best for the future, I just hope you can fully get rid of her before your promotion.
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CC I know what you're going through and sympathise with you. I've been in MQ's for 12yrs until Aug 04 when my daughters dad took me to court for residency of our daughter (the story behind that is for another day). As a residency order can only be given to one parent with both parents having parental responsibility I had to move out of my MQ and back into the BB as the residency order is what DHE work on. My MCat or PStat as it is now changed to PStat 3 which does not entitle you to a MQ. I then got posted a year later and have managed to get a Surplus MQ which DHE will give if there are plenty to spare on the understanding that if a family are posted in and they need the quarter then I have to move back to the BB which is fair. As others on the thread have said, they have managed to get a MQ as singlies, so as you can see DHE are approachable and if they can help they will. My advise would be to speak to them first and find out if there are any surplus MQs where you are and if there are then fill in an application for one and see what happens. All the best to you and congrats on the promotion.
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CC, a marriage break-up is a personal thing, and no matter how much anybody thinks that service life contributes to any such break-up, it really is not their fault. Your wife married you knowing you were in the services and that could mean extended time away from home etc.
You chose to live in a quarter, under quarters rules, not a private home, would you expect the MOD to pay you to move out of a private home in the same circumstances, I suspect not.
You chose to live in a quarter, under quarters rules, not a private home, would you expect the MOD to pay you to move out of a private home in the same circumstances, I suspect not.
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That's fair enough ZH. After all at the start of this thread I mentioned the point was not to garner sympathy for my situation. More to ask if there was any help available. You have been forthcoming with opinion and advice, and I thank you for that.
CC
CC
I still think the best advice so far, is to contact DHE and see if they have any vacant quarters, that they could let. In a perfect world, you may even be lucky enough to keep the house you are in.
Whatever happens, good luck, and congrats on the forthcoming promotion.
Whatever happens, good luck, and congrats on the forthcoming promotion.
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Many thanks to all of you that offered useful advice.
As it turns out my situation is sorting itself out.
I put up my third today and therefore am entitled to a room in the Mess.
For the interim this is a bonus, I really don't envy the next Junior Rank that has the misfortune to get allocated the room in the Barrack Block they gave me.
I wouldn't put a dog in it, let alone a human being.
Thanks again
CC
As it turns out my situation is sorting itself out.
I put up my third today and therefore am entitled to a room in the Mess.
For the interim this is a bonus, I really don't envy the next Junior Rank that has the misfortune to get allocated the room in the Barrack Block they gave me.
I wouldn't put a dog in it, let alone a human being.
Thanks again
CC
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CC
Congrats on promotion and I hope all works out for you. Now it is your time to do something for the positive, given your recent experience. Apply to become the SNCO in charge of the block you were in and make a difference.
With rank comes responsibility, many forget that.
Charlie sends
Congrats on promotion and I hope all works out for you. Now it is your time to do something for the positive, given your recent experience. Apply to become the SNCO in charge of the block you were in and make a difference.
With rank comes responsibility, many forget that.
Charlie sends
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CC
Sorry to hear of your dilemma, have been there, seen it done it. I spent 18 years flying in the SH force, we used to have a saying 'there is no divorce problem in the SH force, because nobody has got time to see a solicitor!' I think, as i experienced, that now you have divorced the military will turn its back on you, in terms of rights, accommodation etc etc etc. Best advice, get into the housing market FAST (even for a 1 bed apart in London), start to look after no 1, because nobody else will.
S
pm me if you wish
Sorry to hear of your dilemma, have been there, seen it done it. I spent 18 years flying in the SH force, we used to have a saying 'there is no divorce problem in the SH force, because nobody has got time to see a solicitor!' I think, as i experienced, that now you have divorced the military will turn its back on you, in terms of rights, accommodation etc etc etc. Best advice, get into the housing market FAST (even for a 1 bed apart in London), start to look after no 1, because nobody else will.
S
pm me if you wish
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the military will turn its back on you....
Wasnt the case for me albeit in 1990. Blunties do though and they will throw the bluntie book at you without hesitation, but I found the aircrew side of our system particulary good. Asked what did I want and where did I want to go, I didnt have a scooby as you are embroiled in an emotional rather than logical world.
Once I had sorted myself out (several months) PMA were very much on-side for making the best of a bum deal and enabling contact with my children whilst others were fighting the first middle eastern f-up. Life is a little blured from that time which is not surprising as it takes time to adapt to life after an 'immediate' family. Lesson learnt was never again put the queen before those around you, many here may disagree with that, but that is my opinion based upon experience, and I am entitled to that point of view.
PS There is a life afterwards and the pain may end up a blessing in disguise.
Wasnt the case for me albeit in 1990. Blunties do though and they will throw the bluntie book at you without hesitation, but I found the aircrew side of our system particulary good. Asked what did I want and where did I want to go, I didnt have a scooby as you are embroiled in an emotional rather than logical world.
Once I had sorted myself out (several months) PMA were very much on-side for making the best of a bum deal and enabling contact with my children whilst others were fighting the first middle eastern f-up. Life is a little blured from that time which is not surprising as it takes time to adapt to life after an 'immediate' family. Lesson learnt was never again put the queen before those around you, many here may disagree with that, but that is my opinion based upon experience, and I am entitled to that point of view.
PS There is a life afterwards and the pain may end up a blessing in disguise.