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Old 24th Dec 2017, 15:15
  #46101 (permalink)  
 
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Nor this


Happy Christmas and Peaceful 2018 to all my on-line crew room mates
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Old 24th Dec 2017, 17:00
  #46102 (permalink)  
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
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Round and round went the ruddy great wheel

. . .
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Old 24th Dec 2017, 17:26
  #46103 (permalink)  
 
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No matter how nice you knock your too late the shops (in UK ) are all closed
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Old 24th Dec 2017, 18:41
  #46104 (permalink)  
 
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Honestly, I only had one Viagra tablet.
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Old 24th Dec 2017, 21:18
  #46105 (permalink)  
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Santa delivering Lieutenant Grubber's little tank
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Old 24th Dec 2017, 21:40
  #46106 (permalink)  

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Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Santa's on a Tank
He's so impressed,
& as you've guessed
He decided to have a .... never mind
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Old 24th Dec 2017, 23:58
  #46107 (permalink)  
 
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Happy Christmas folks, a glass will be raised tomorrow to you all, past and present, Coff especially, gone but not forgotten..


Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house,
not a creature was strirring not even a mouse,
the stockings were hung on Buster with care,
worried they'd ladder or even worse tear..

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But the taceval team, full of exercise cheer.

He was dressed in an noddy suit, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with charcoal and soot.
A bundle of fun he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, opening his taceval pack.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled both his stockings, then turned to the jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, with his taceval team,
leaving Buster alone, stockings filled up with cream.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, i'm off for a ****e!"






..

Last edited by NutLoose; 25th Dec 2017 at 02:09.
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Old 25th Dec 2017, 06:44
  #46108 (permalink)  
 
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Happy Christmas everyone!
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Old 25th Dec 2017, 08:20
  #46109 (permalink)  
Gnome de PPRuNe
 
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Merry Christmas and thanks to all you military folk, past and present, for looking after us.
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Old 25th Dec 2017, 19:50
  #46110 (permalink)  
 
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"Lets see those nosey so-and-sos of NORAD track me in THIS!"
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Old 25th Dec 2017, 20:30
  #46111 (permalink)  
 
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Mrs. Claus was so glad to get a Night off!
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Old 26th Dec 2017, 09:40
  #46112 (permalink)  
 
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Elf in turret, "Every year it's the same thing, just cause you had to work on Christmas day, you use it as an excuse to get tanked up on Boxing day".
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Old 26th Dec 2017, 10:22
  #46113 (permalink)  
 
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After drinking millions of glasses of sherry on his Christmas run, Santa was only capable of firing blanks.
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Old 27th Dec 2017, 10:16
  #46114 (permalink)  
 
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When it comes to paintball games, what Santa loses on conspicuity he makes up on firepower.
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Old 27th Dec 2017, 10:56
  #46115 (permalink)  
 
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This needs scoring and as it is like a Tesco's Turkey, well past its sell by date.
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Old 27th Dec 2017, 12:41
  #46116 (permalink)  
Danny42C
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Spurred from my torpor by Nutty's goad, having consulted the fowl's entrails, and after mature reflection, I now pronounce as follows:

Honourable Mention,

Wensleydale with: "..and Santa really made his presents felt."


Beaten by a Nose, Nutloose with: "When I shoot my load the earth really does move.. somewhere"


First Past the Post, however, and Winner of the PPRuNe Paper Plate, is indubitably Wander00, with the topical:

"Prime Minister, it is like Pinocchio, the more porkies you tell, the longer it gets".'


Step forward, Wander00, and receive the CST Poisoned Chalice, with an old man's blessing !


Danny wishes All Here Present the Best of Good Fortune in 2018.

Last edited by Danny42C; 27th Dec 2017 at 12:54. Reason: Gross Guinness-Induced Error.
 
Old 27th Dec 2017, 12:58
  #46117 (permalink)  
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Well called Danny
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Old 27th Dec 2017, 15:53
  #46118 (permalink)  
 
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Yes and happy Christmas Danny, one hopes you had a good one.
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Old 28th Dec 2017, 09:58
  #46119 (permalink)  
 
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Well, I am humbled and pleased at the same time. Thanks all. Give me a minute to write my speech thanking my parents, my children, my ex wife (Not SWMBO, she just thinks I waste my time on here) and all who know me, and of course Mrs May for inspiration...mumble, mumble.....
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Old 28th Dec 2017, 10:00
  #46120 (permalink)  
 
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Try this for size - seems topical.....
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