any significant others here who can enlighten me about life 'over there'?
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any significant others here who can enlighten me about life 'over there'?
OK, I am posting here on ssauer's name.
My significant other (male), is considering looking at Middle East for so.
I am scared to death as a female about living there.... I realize I need to be culture sensitive, but would like to know how other American wives/sig others feel about living in a country where females are looked at as nothing more than being 'owned', the violence against them (stoned if thought to have an affair or other wrong deeds)- just what can I expect/be afraid of?
I am not a 21 year old who is wild and impulsive, but I am very concerned about living in a country that does not seem to like us.
I understand that we can live on the 'compound', but I still don't think I would feel safe.
Any wives/so's here? Female pilots? Guys, please let your wives respond...
Thank you.
"too old to worry"
My significant other (male), is considering looking at Middle East for so.
I am scared to death as a female about living there.... I realize I need to be culture sensitive, but would like to know how other American wives/sig others feel about living in a country where females are looked at as nothing more than being 'owned', the violence against them (stoned if thought to have an affair or other wrong deeds)- just what can I expect/be afraid of?
I am not a 21 year old who is wild and impulsive, but I am very concerned about living in a country that does not seem to like us.
I understand that we can live on the 'compound', but I still don't think I would feel safe.
Any wives/so's here? Female pilots? Guys, please let your wives respond...
Thank you.
"too old to worry"
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Hi have lived in Dubai for the past 10 years as an EK wife & can thoroughly recommend it. This is NOT Saudi Arabia!! You can shop,drive and socialise to your hearts content. You can also work - which I do with my husband's consent
Conservative dress is advised, knees covered & shoulders in malls etc. Lived in the UK all my life until I came here & have had an infinitely better quality of life since I have been here Good luck,happy to be a sand groper
Conservative dress is advised, knees covered & shoulders in malls etc. Lived in the UK all my life until I came here & have had an infinitely better quality of life since I have been here Good luck,happy to be a sand groper
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Living in Qatar is the same as living in Dubai
Been here 2 years and my wife has been here 1 year. She says she loves it ?
Also from the UK. The worst thing is the driving, apart from that, life is good and a very safe place to be.
Again, Qatar is not Saudi Arabia
Been here 2 years and my wife has been here 1 year. She says she loves it ?
Also from the UK. The worst thing is the driving, apart from that, life is good and a very safe place to be.
Again, Qatar is not Saudi Arabia
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ssauer1930
sorry but you are seriously way to extreme.. this is not Afghanistan out here. Lay off the CNN and you might see better. (sorry but jeez ma'am)
I've been out here for 10 years.. my wife for 8 years (kidnaped her a couple of years after i arrived.. ha-ha).. both expats and both first time in the middle east and I have to say this is the safest place that i have ever lived in the world, i can also speak for my wife. (i dont allow her to speak.. hahaha)
there are millions of expats out here and every one lives relatively normal lives.. aside from the heat, and conservative dress, I do everything that we would normally do back in our home countries as does my wife (when i allow her.. hahahaha)
get out in the world lady, you'll soon see it's not a scary as CNN makes it out to be
Poisoned by Compromise
Krunch
sorry but you are seriously way to extreme.. this is not Afghanistan out here. Lay off the CNN and you might see better. (sorry but jeez ma'am)
I've been out here for 10 years.. my wife for 8 years (kidnaped her a couple of years after i arrived.. ha-ha).. both expats and both first time in the middle east and I have to say this is the safest place that i have ever lived in the world, i can also speak for my wife. (i dont allow her to speak.. hahaha)
there are millions of expats out here and every one lives relatively normal lives.. aside from the heat, and conservative dress, I do everything that we would normally do back in our home countries as does my wife (when i allow her.. hahahaha)
get out in the world lady, you'll soon see it's not a scary as CNN makes it out to be
Poisoned by Compromise
Krunch
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I was in Arizona/Phoenix for four months last year, and something happened which really confused me.
I finished my grocery shopping at Welmart and passed by Burger King which was inside the building, anyways the following conversation took place between me and the cashier lady.
I mean no malevolence from what i wrote its just i was shocked. and now ssauer1930
please ignore all sorts of media, it doesn't do any good. Any before heading to Dubai, maybe if you could browse Google Earth for 10-15minutes would be great to know where you'll live.
We welcome you.
I finished my grocery shopping at Welmart and passed by Burger King which was inside the building, anyways the following conversation took place between me and the cashier lady.
Lady: so where you from?
Me: Bahrain
Lady: where is that?
Me: We are close to Dubai and Qatar
Lady: is that in India 
Me: Bahrain
Lady: where is that?
Me: We are close to Dubai and Qatar
Lady: is that in India
please ignore all sorts of media, it doesn't do any good. Any before heading to Dubai, maybe if you could browse Google Earth for 10-15minutes would be great to know where you'll live.
We welcome you.
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This is a truly excellent question and something you really need to research. I understand some of your concerns, but please please please do your research before making the bold and sweeping statements about the ME. I don't live there now but did a while ago and intend on returning as I much prefer it to where I live now.
You are not owned, nor is any woman. As a note, you can't (legally) live together unless you are married, so forget significant other!
Where did you get this from? Yes, sexual relations outside marriage is illegal, so don't do it, and a brief stint in prison, a few weeks or so, is possible followed by deportation, but really, you gonna do that to hubby?
Then please do some serious research and come back and ask your questions. We'll all be happy to help you with your questions and concerns.
I never lived in a compound out there, just an apartment building which had Arabs, Asians, Westerners etc... never had such an amazing and QUIET bunch of neighbours, and safe? You'll struggle to find a safer urban environment anywhere in the world.
...would like to know how other American wives/sig others feel about living in a country where females are looked at as nothing more than being 'owned'
...the violence against them (stoned if thought to have an affair or other wrong deeds)
I am not a 21 year old who is wild and impulsive
I understand that we can live on the 'compound', but I still don't think I would feel safe.
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If you're planning on Dubai?
My wife & I are now in our 4th year in Dubai and we're very happy about being here!
Yes there are, inevitably, some frustrations (especially wrt getting setup here) and there are of course some 'cultural differences' and, YES, it's a more than a bit hot & humid in the summer (that's why we have air-conditioning and 'Gulf spec' cars); but, to counter that: fuel is cheap, no taxes on your income (though if you're a citizen of the USA you're still required to give your government some of what you earn here), there's excellent shopping, food from around the world. Booze too. Pubs / NightClubs / Restaurants, etc. The standard of living (for expats) is very high. We'd also agree with what's been said about it being a very safe place!
With a quick delve into YouTube you might find some videos like this (filmed in one of Dubai's super-size malls); Have a look at the people, see what they (especially the women) are wearing, see also the mix of different ethnicities, etc.
And / or maybe these too might provide a clue as to what it's like:
Yes there are, inevitably, some frustrations (especially wrt getting setup here) and there are of course some 'cultural differences' and, YES, it's a more than a bit hot & humid in the summer (that's why we have air-conditioning and 'Gulf spec' cars); but, to counter that: fuel is cheap, no taxes on your income (though if you're a citizen of the USA you're still required to give your government some of what you earn here), there's excellent shopping, food from around the world. Booze too. Pubs / NightClubs / Restaurants, etc. The standard of living (for expats) is very high. We'd also agree with what's been said about it being a very safe place!
With a quick delve into YouTube you might find some videos like this (filmed in one of Dubai's super-size malls); Have a look at the people, see what they (especially the women) are wearing, see also the mix of different ethnicities, etc.
And / or maybe these too might provide a clue as to what it's like:
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Why not broaden your horizons and see the world? In any case, the United States is becoming a socialist European-like state under Obama, so, you won't be missing much when you move away... The USA will resemble Belgium or Portugal in a few years. 
Dubai, Abu Dhabi and Doha are all very nice and reasonably safe. Like any other cities, you have good neighborhoods and bad - be strategic, do your homework and move to the safe/good neighborhoods.
There is more to this world than McDonalds and Taco Bell in the States....
Dubai, Abu Dhabi and Doha are all very nice and reasonably safe. Like any other cities, you have good neighborhoods and bad - be strategic, do your homework and move to the safe/good neighborhoods.
There is more to this world than McDonalds and Taco Bell in the States....
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Hello,
It depends on your ethnicity if you would like it here. First of all, it is not America. On the side note, i am third generation American that has dark skin. I am part native american and explain to people that i am from America. There are some people, including many pilots, who believe that to be an American, you have to have light skin. With that being said, there are subtle hints of racism that is not found in most parts of the world. I would say that the UAE is 20 to 30 years behind most developed countries in the treatment of human beings.
Sometimes it will drive you mad while other times, one just accepts it. There is more of a discriminatory culture than their is a gender specific concern by the hegemonic idealogies. Another issue is the amount of stares that a female gets in public. Other than that, Dubai is fairly safe for females. My wife can go out clubbing with her friends without being approached like you would in the states. I wouldnt say it is 100% safe, due to recent crimes against females, but it is safer than most western cities.
snookie
It depends on your ethnicity if you would like it here. First of all, it is not America. On the side note, i am third generation American that has dark skin. I am part native american and explain to people that i am from America. There are some people, including many pilots, who believe that to be an American, you have to have light skin. With that being said, there are subtle hints of racism that is not found in most parts of the world. I would say that the UAE is 20 to 30 years behind most developed countries in the treatment of human beings.
Sometimes it will drive you mad while other times, one just accepts it. There is more of a discriminatory culture than their is a gender specific concern by the hegemonic idealogies. Another issue is the amount of stares that a female gets in public. Other than that, Dubai is fairly safe for females. My wife can go out clubbing with her friends without being approached like you would in the states. I wouldnt say it is 100% safe, due to recent crimes against females, but it is safer than most western cities.
snookie
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Forgot to add that your husband has to give your permission to drive. My wife found that amusing but one has to realize that we are in a different country and need to respect their rules.
On my permission letter, i wrote that my wife can only drive on mondays and tuesdays between the hours of 8 to 10am. The emirati that took her application had a nice sense of humour and smiled at my wife. It is issues such as those that one has to just have a sense of humour and go with the punches without getting embroiled in a "different" culture.
Two things that you will learn here are patience and humour. Not specifically in that order.
snookie
On my permission letter, i wrote that my wife can only drive on mondays and tuesdays between the hours of 8 to 10am. The emirati that took her application had a nice sense of humour and smiled at my wife. It is issues such as those that one has to just have a sense of humour and go with the punches without getting embroiled in a "different" culture.
Two things that you will learn here are patience and humour. Not specifically in that order.
snookie
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Came to Bahrain just after the unrest started and yes, we were worried. However, both me and my wife love it and don't want to leave. It's safe ( indeed safe!) and I've heard my wife state several times that she loves it here. She's truely spread her wings and setup businesses, attands shows as a vendor, and races all over Bahrain on her own or with our little girl. You'll find area's to stay clear off at certain times in any country/city. There's a very active facebook community amongst the mums and expats so they are on top of what's going on in Bahrain all day-every day. Both good and bad. I suspect they know even more than the local authorities at times... Many of her friends (with-and without kids) that have lived in Dubai, Kuwait or Doha (no other examples) all state that Bahrain is so much better and 'cosier'. Granted, the place has changed since the unrest so we've been told. Guess it all depends on what you are looking for and what you find important.
She's free do do what she wants, when and how she wants it and does not need my 'assistance'. The Bahraini's are very nice and warm people. It's truely a holiday place/lifestyle here.
Many of her friends (with-and without kids) that have lived in Dubai, Kuwait or Doha (no other examples) all state that Bahrain is so much better and 'cosier'. Granted, the place has changed since the unrest so we've been told. Guess it all depends on what you are looking for and what you find important.She's free do do what she wants, when and how she wants it and does not need my 'assistance'. The Bahraini's are very nice and warm people. It's truely a holiday place/lifestyle here.
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There is more to this world than McDonalds and Taco Bell in the States....
For those picking on the original poster's lack of knowledge, having worked with EK's much-vaunted multicultural workforce, I can safely say that Americans have no monopoly on ignorance about anything outside of their borders. Most EK cabin crew wouldn't recognize anything outside of a shopping mall.
Just saying'.
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I think that your happiness in Dubai can be strongly correlated to where you come from. It's all relative and if you come from South Africa or certain parts of the UK, Dubai feels super safe..amazingly so. However, if safety includes driving, it is probably one of the less safe places on the planet. Keep in mind that if you come here you will, at some point, experience appalling and dangerous driving of the likes you have never, ever witnessed.
We enjoyed our time there but are over the moon to be gone as well. Our favourite part of Dubai was actually all the travelling we did. Being part of an airline makes this super feasible and a huge perk. Everyone goes on about the lifestyle but for us, it was limiting. If not for the ability to travel, we would surely have lost our minds. How much mall hopping and beach time can you really endure? It does feel like a holiday for the first few years and there are some nice perks. You can work and my wife did for many years which helped finance a lot of trips out of there but it comes with it's fair share of headaches as well. Human rights, fairness, and
ethics are in short supply on the ground in Middle Eastern countries and if you can turn a blind eye to that and know what your goals are than it can be doable. But, trust me, you will have some **** days there where you wonder what the heck I am doing here?
As an American, you really should consult your countrymen in terms of their level of happiness and also how long they have been there for. Most people are in a honeymoon phase for the first few years and love all the perks but it is a longterm commitment and you have to consider what that means to you to drop out of your home life for 7 - 10 years?
We enjoyed our time there but are over the moon to be gone as well. Our favourite part of Dubai was actually all the travelling we did. Being part of an airline makes this super feasible and a huge perk. Everyone goes on about the lifestyle but for us, it was limiting. If not for the ability to travel, we would surely have lost our minds. How much mall hopping and beach time can you really endure? It does feel like a holiday for the first few years and there are some nice perks. You can work and my wife did for many years which helped finance a lot of trips out of there but it comes with it's fair share of headaches as well. Human rights, fairness, and
ethics are in short supply on the ground in Middle Eastern countries and if you can turn a blind eye to that and know what your goals are than it can be doable. But, trust me, you will have some **** days there where you wonder what the heck I am doing here?
As an American, you really should consult your countrymen in terms of their level of happiness and also how long they have been there for. Most people are in a honeymoon phase for the first few years and love all the perks but it is a longterm commitment and you have to consider what that means to you to drop out of your home life for 7 - 10 years?
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Well, lemme see, just back from an Elton John concert and looking forward to the Eagles in April, and for those who are a fan (I am not!) Madonna is doing two shows in June...Abu Dhabi has a world class F1 race track, Dubai has super star power when it comes to tourist attractions (if that floats your boat) Restaurants from A to "zee" and all you might ask for regarding stuff to buy, and yes you get the things you can get a home most of the time. Cars are way cheaper than in the US... it goes on and on... I would guess that it's EK your husband is joining, so the ease of getting settled in is somewhat better than those who join other companies. Forget your cloistered US media reporting and come with eyes wide open. You will have some advantage at first, because you will be living close to, and have something in common with the people who work with your husband. (Careful with that, it can go sour very fast if you let it). Keep some things private, the glass houses have thin walls! The cultural barriers fall fast if you put even a small effort in to see where you are. I will grant that it's very likely you will have your eyes opened to what the world actually looks like and there are some shocking examples of excess here as well as the sad opposite side of the coin, but I dare you to not find that in your own country. Enjoy your new experience... you'll be amazed at what you miss out on if you stay home in the Land of the Free!
Last edited by Left Coaster; 30th Mar 2012 at 09:21.
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Living in the ME
As a single woman, I lived in Bahrain for 8 years. It was the best time of my life. I never once felt threatened. It was a wonderful experience and I wouldn't have missed it for the world. I live in the USA now, and to be honest with you, I felt safer in Bahrain than I do here. The only thing I am sorry about is how Bahrain is becoming more like the US! It is a wonderful culture and the people are fabulous. If you believe everything you read or see on the TV, then you will have a very jaundiced view of life in the ME. Take the chance, and I am sure you will never regret it.
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Living in Qatar is the same as living in Dubai
Sounds nothing like living in Dubai.
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thanks for info/points of views
I appreciate some of the info.
I(we), are a shy about the final decision, as we have several military friends- their views are not at all the same as yours...
I have a friend who was teaching at the Saudi University- was afraid in Saudi, went to Afganistan to teach and loved it there, but now won't even go back to visit because says it is just too dangerous right now to be there....
I have heard so many stories about having to have a 'driver', the bad areas, what is 'punishable', the electricity 'black-outs'......the majority from military friends. What lttle we have heard from ME employees of airlines seems not so great in different ways- the poor management- worse than the US...less retrictions on working hours, etc.
I have no need for a fancy shopping mall- just enough to set up a household.
Seems like dogs are an unusual 'item'. I want ours to be safe.
Oh..the driving CAN'T be any worse than Dallas!! Just can't be....
And yes.. I have no want to be married.. it is just fine like it is. Not to ruin a good thing. But a local prison doesn't sound too good either.
There are so many things to think about.
I am a nurse, but have no desire to work over there- again, I have heard so many bad stories about the nurses...yelling at patients, actually hitting a patient.
So, please understand that it is not a 'You-tube' attitude, but having friends who are/were there recently.
Thank you.
I(we), are a shy about the final decision, as we have several military friends- their views are not at all the same as yours...
I have a friend who was teaching at the Saudi University- was afraid in Saudi, went to Afganistan to teach and loved it there, but now won't even go back to visit because says it is just too dangerous right now to be there....
I have heard so many stories about having to have a 'driver', the bad areas, what is 'punishable', the electricity 'black-outs'......the majority from military friends. What lttle we have heard from ME employees of airlines seems not so great in different ways- the poor management- worse than the US...less retrictions on working hours, etc.
I have no need for a fancy shopping mall- just enough to set up a household.
Seems like dogs are an unusual 'item'. I want ours to be safe.
Oh..the driving CAN'T be any worse than Dallas!! Just can't be....
And yes.. I have no want to be married.. it is just fine like it is. Not to ruin a good thing. But a local prison doesn't sound too good either.
There are so many things to think about.
I am a nurse, but have no desire to work over there- again, I have heard so many bad stories about the nurses...yelling at patients, actually hitting a patient.
So, please understand that it is not a 'You-tube' attitude, but having friends who are/were there recently.
Thank you.