How to better deal with Upset and Disgruntled passengers?
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How to better deal with Upset and Disgruntled passengers?
I've been a flight attendant now for over 10 years and yet I still struggle to deal with disgruntled and upset passengers without taking it personally. One would think I would be use to it by now, however i still find these situations make me stressed and angry. I often question myself if I'm in the right industry but at this stage in my life working as cabin crew is all I've done and I'm not trained in anything else.
Any tips or suggestions on how to better deal with horrible and nasty passengers without falling in a heap.
Any tips or suggestions on how to better deal with horrible and nasty passengers without falling in a heap.
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I'm not connected with the Airline Industry but do have to deal with the public on a daily basis and have done most of my working life. I too often found it quite difficult to deal with angry and upset customers and decided to try and find a better way of dealing with things as I felt that my ability to deal with the situation in a more professional manner would probably help end the situation more amicably.
I did some reading and found 'Dale Carnegie - How to win friends and Influence people' one of the best books i've ever read and it not only helped me in my professional life but also in my personal life to. My wife thinks it ridiculous that I have to read about what she calls 'common sense' but that's perhaps because she's never read the book or others like it. I'd highly recommend the book to anybody who has to deal with people on a professional basis and in fact i've even bought it for some of my customers who have in turn read it and started to deal with situations in a much more positive way
I did some reading and found 'Dale Carnegie - How to win friends and Influence people' one of the best books i've ever read and it not only helped me in my professional life but also in my personal life to. My wife thinks it ridiculous that I have to read about what she calls 'common sense' but that's perhaps because she's never read the book or others like it. I'd highly recommend the book to anybody who has to deal with people on a professional basis and in fact i've even bought it for some of my customers who have in turn read it and started to deal with situations in a much more positive way
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In general when in passenger facing situations at, for example, a ticket desk, I found a good approach was to let them talk until they run out of things to say, whilst listening and making the odd note, which will often make them a little more circumspect about what they say. Then ask them what they would like us to do about the situation and see how far we can meet their demands. Very often their demand is less than the company might have offered, in which case it is easy to exceed their expectation.
On the other in situations when I am not representing, or accountable to, another entity I will give them the benefit of what I really think!
I also often remind myself when people are rude, bullying, aggressive and unreasonable that they are they to allow me to prove my superiority over them. Arrogant in the extreme, but it works.
On the other in situations when I am not representing, or accountable to, another entity I will give them the benefit of what I really think!
I also often remind myself when people are rude, bullying, aggressive and unreasonable that they are they to allow me to prove my superiority over them. Arrogant in the extreme, but it works.
Disgruntled passengers? Bottle of Champers to take off would usually regruntle me 
Years ago - US internal - Bas fam spread all over cabin - flt attendant says "Your children . . (Bas thinks 'Oh BH, what have they done') . . are so well mannered. Here's a bottle to take with you."
Didn't share it with the little monkeys, though!
Years ago - US internal - Bas fam spread all over cabin - flt attendant says "Your children . . (Bas thinks 'Oh BH, what have they done') . . are so well mannered. Here's a bottle to take with you."
Didn't share it with the little monkeys, though!
Last edited by Basil; 28th Jan 2013 at 12:57.
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Any tips or suggestions on how to better deal with horrible and nasty passengers without falling in a heap.
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I'm a pilot, not a FA.
But i've learned a thing or two about passengers.
One...first approach the situation as if you knew the passenger was scared beyond belief, of what it almost doesn't matter. Be very kind...take a few minutes to talk to them (yes I know you are busy). Listen to them. Are they going to a funeral? ARe they without money? Are they ill in some way. Treat them very well, take them politely to a quiet place and talk things over. Maybe they are worried about flying and would like to meet the pilot. Maybe their luggage is lost or something else you can really help with.
OR
On occasion you have to exercise authority. I've done it once and it worked great. A passenger was very upset about going to a thanksgiving family get together and didn't want to go, she was arguing with her husband and it was a terrible situation. not a heckuva lot of time to deal with it.
After making sure the woman was not being kidnapped or anything really nutty or bad, I made it clear to them both the very nature of the world on an airliner.
I said: I want you to understand that an airliner is not a Democracy. I am the boss, PERIOD. And the flight attendants are my deputies and if you don't do what they request, I will land the plane and have you arrested. I gave them a choice of getting off the plane or living by my rules for the length of the flight.
They stayed on and there were no further problems.
First love them and care for them.
Then order them and offer them arrest or removal.
I once took a scared passenger to the cockpit during boarding...had her shake hands with the copilot and myself. Explained to her the noises and gadgets and everything I could think of her. I personally took her to her seat, helped her with her seatbelt (a mature woman, not a young hot chick) and shook her hand and told her I would be extra careful.
The flight went fine and she enjoyed it. I still remember this from over a dozen years ago.
Get involved, most passengers are nice people in their world, but they are in your world, so take care of them...extra care if you have to.
;-)
But i've learned a thing or two about passengers.
One...first approach the situation as if you knew the passenger was scared beyond belief, of what it almost doesn't matter. Be very kind...take a few minutes to talk to them (yes I know you are busy). Listen to them. Are they going to a funeral? ARe they without money? Are they ill in some way. Treat them very well, take them politely to a quiet place and talk things over. Maybe they are worried about flying and would like to meet the pilot. Maybe their luggage is lost or something else you can really help with.
OR
On occasion you have to exercise authority. I've done it once and it worked great. A passenger was very upset about going to a thanksgiving family get together and didn't want to go, she was arguing with her husband and it was a terrible situation. not a heckuva lot of time to deal with it.
After making sure the woman was not being kidnapped or anything really nutty or bad, I made it clear to them both the very nature of the world on an airliner.
I said: I want you to understand that an airliner is not a Democracy. I am the boss, PERIOD. And the flight attendants are my deputies and if you don't do what they request, I will land the plane and have you arrested. I gave them a choice of getting off the plane or living by my rules for the length of the flight.
They stayed on and there were no further problems.
First love them and care for them.
Then order them and offer them arrest or removal.
I once took a scared passenger to the cockpit during boarding...had her shake hands with the copilot and myself. Explained to her the noises and gadgets and everything I could think of her. I personally took her to her seat, helped her with her seatbelt (a mature woman, not a young hot chick) and shook her hand and told her I would be extra careful.
The flight went fine and she enjoyed it. I still remember this from over a dozen years ago.
Get involved, most passengers are nice people in their world, but they are in your world, so take care of them...extra care if you have to.
;-)
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Although usually levelheaded, there have been a few times when I have indeed lost my gruntles. I expect that others have, too, usually when arrangements one thought were clear, precise, and confirmed, turn out to not be so. (An incident at a Holiday Inn comes to mind.)
In such cases, thought I might have said unkind things to the company's representative, it's never been a personal thing. It's the company I'm angry at. And at that moment in time the company has hired YOU to be their interface, so it is your unfortunate lot to have to listen to me.
Is that fair? -- no, of course not.
Do I later regret what you had to endure? -- surely.
But that's not the point.
In such cases, thought I might have said unkind things to the company's representative, it's never been a personal thing. It's the company I'm angry at. And at that moment in time the company has hired YOU to be their interface, so it is your unfortunate lot to have to listen to me.
Is that fair? -- no, of course not.
Do I later regret what you had to endure? -- surely.
But that's not the point.
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Hi Melbro,
It does seem to get easier as you get older not to take it personally when someone is shouting at you for something that isn't your fault. Each crewmember seems to have a different way of dealing with it. You could try imagining them naked while they are ranting, picture your empty uniform being shouted at, console yourself that at least you don't have to live with them, or any number of other things.
I tend now to try and see it as a challenge and the only way I can come out of it feeling good is to win them over. The best questions to ask them is "What can I do right now to make this better?" or "What would you like from me?" If there is nothing that can be done i.e. the weather is bad, the aircraft is broken, etc, then they will generally come to that conclusion themselves. If its beyond your control, then provide them with the means to contact someone who can help. And I remember one very effective remark from a crew member being "Don't shout at me sir, I am the only person here who can help you!"
Then go home and pour a glass of something appropriate and offer a prayer of thanks that nobody in your family would be so rude to someone who was just doing their job!
It does seem to get easier as you get older not to take it personally when someone is shouting at you for something that isn't your fault. Each crewmember seems to have a different way of dealing with it. You could try imagining them naked while they are ranting, picture your empty uniform being shouted at, console yourself that at least you don't have to live with them, or any number of other things.
I tend now to try and see it as a challenge and the only way I can come out of it feeling good is to win them over. The best questions to ask them is "What can I do right now to make this better?" or "What would you like from me?" If there is nothing that can be done i.e. the weather is bad, the aircraft is broken, etc, then they will generally come to that conclusion themselves. If its beyond your control, then provide them with the means to contact someone who can help. And I remember one very effective remark from a crew member being "Don't shout at me sir, I am the only person here who can help you!"
Then go home and pour a glass of something appropriate and offer a prayer of thanks that nobody in your family would be so rude to someone who was just doing their job!
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Quite simply, the more irate the passenger gets, the more polite you should become. I know this is a lot harder to do than say. But if you can manage it, then that is the best option. I commend Sevenstrokeroll for his wise advise and suggest that he/she has a genuine grip of most things that you are likely to encounter during a flight.
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I had a mother and daughter combo on a flight-mother was terrified of flying and daughter was getting stroppy on behalf of her mother. I chose to ignore the daughter and concentrate on Mum. Once I got talking to her and got her seated she became a lot calmer and the daughter backed off. Then the trouble started. During the drinks round I ran over Mum's foot with the cart, during Duty Free, one of the perfumes fell off my tray onto her lap, and the coup de grace was during the meal. The tin foil from one of the meals caught on her hairnet and she had to be untangled from it. As she was getting off I told her that I hoped she felt better about flying, she replied "Oh yes dear, I didn't think about the flying at all-I was more afraid of you!" Well, I count it as a success 
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Dawdler
Dear Dawdler:
a sincere thank you. and my wishes for safe flying to you and yours.
---
Melbro...original poster. Maybe being a FA is not for you. At times I've questioned my choice...I wish I had taken that job offered to me by apple computer in 1982...I'd be richer now.
But then, for me, being a pilot was pretty darn cool...great view...and it made me who I am today...for better or for worse.
Try something new...if you have only done one thing in your life, you may have another six to go.
I've been a min wage worker in a hardware store
I've been a soldier in the US Army (honorably discharged)
I've been a drummer (US Army Band)and a darn good one.
I've worked in a crummy pizza joint to help my way through college
I've been a flight instructor, instrument instructor, multi engine instructor and every other crappy job (except for crop dusting) in flying.
And an airline pilot.
if you are doubting your choice, try something on your days off...you may end up appreciating those people who make your life so difficult.
airlines used to hire really good looking girls for a reason to be FA's. a smile, a kind word, even a pat on the shoulder goes much farther if given by a cute girl.
things are different now...anyone can be a FA...you are there to serve the passengers, not the other way round...and only in bonafide emergencies should you kick someone in the butt to get them doing what needs to be done.
;-)
a sincere thank you. and my wishes for safe flying to you and yours.
---
Melbro...original poster. Maybe being a FA is not for you. At times I've questioned my choice...I wish I had taken that job offered to me by apple computer in 1982...I'd be richer now.
But then, for me, being a pilot was pretty darn cool...great view...and it made me who I am today...for better or for worse.
Try something new...if you have only done one thing in your life, you may have another six to go.
I've been a min wage worker in a hardware store
I've been a soldier in the US Army (honorably discharged)
I've been a drummer (US Army Band)and a darn good one.
I've worked in a crummy pizza joint to help my way through college
I've been a flight instructor, instrument instructor, multi engine instructor and every other crappy job (except for crop dusting) in flying.
And an airline pilot.
if you are doubting your choice, try something on your days off...you may end up appreciating those people who make your life so difficult.
airlines used to hire really good looking girls for a reason to be FA's. a smile, a kind word, even a pat on the shoulder goes much farther if given by a cute girl.
things are different now...anyone can be a FA...you are there to serve the passengers, not the other way round...and only in bonafide emergencies should you kick someone in the butt to get them doing what needs to be done.
;-)
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Empathy is the word usually used...
Put yourself in their situation, see things from their point of view - it certainly helped me through a lot of situations...
I've never been c/c - I worked in the rail industry as a train conductor, which is a similar job in many respects, being responsible for the safety of passengers, as well as being THE only visible member of front line staff when it all goes wrong!
It doesn't always get easier, but 'putting yourself in their shoes' is certainly a very good starting point...
Put yourself in their situation, see things from their point of view - it certainly helped me through a lot of situations...
I've never been c/c - I worked in the rail industry as a train conductor, which is a similar job in many respects, being responsible for the safety of passengers, as well as being THE only visible member of front line staff when it all goes wrong!
It doesn't always get easier, but 'putting yourself in their shoes' is certainly a very good starting point...
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Irate passengers
Well done all of you. I've never seen a thread in which every comment (til this one) is so constructive and full of decent common sense. As a passenger with over a thousand flights between 2000 and 2010, I've seen it all. Apart from three occasions (all domestic, one out of Milwaukee, one out of Coffs Harbour and one out of Tucuman) I have never observed (and, on occasion, helped) in a confrontation situation and not been impressed by its handling by the staff.
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..and if any of the CC of 208 ex Miami 22 January see this.
Thanks for the fantastic sevice ( mere WT)but I imagine there are people out there who ( for whatever reason) could find fault with you.
I have flown at least 150 times and never had anything negative from a cc -thank you all. Any problems have been with other pasemgers viz pushing back seats into my meal tray, talking over the safety announcement and the Captain's welcome, hogging the overhead lockers, walking aound when the seat belt sign is on and unbuckling as soon as the wheels touch down ( sound familiar?)
Yes I know that the number of passengers is greater than the cabin crew so statistically but even so......
ps why is the club cabin always the most untidy after the flight? Are business people more likelyto be this way?
Thanks for the fantastic sevice ( mere WT)
but I imagine there are people out there who ( for whatever reason) could find fault with you.I have flown at least 150 times and never had anything negative from a cc -thank you all. Any problems have been with other pasemgers viz pushing back seats into my meal tray, talking over the safety announcement and the Captain's welcome, hogging the overhead lockers, walking aound when the seat belt sign is on and unbuckling as soon as the wheels touch down ( sound familiar?)
Yes I know that the number of passengers is greater than the cabin crew so statistically but even so......ps why is the club cabin always the most untidy after the flight? Are business people more likelyto be this way?
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I agree....just stay calm and smile a lot. The OP probably works for one of
the bogan carriers - and bogans are certainly not worth losing your temper
(and possibly your job) over.
Besides - you don't know whether there's some bloody w@nker on board
surreptitiously recording the event to plaster all over the internet.
the bogan carriers - and bogans are certainly not worth losing your temper
(and possibly your job) over.
Besides - you don't know whether there's some bloody w@nker on board
surreptitiously recording the event to plaster all over the internet.