Hi Melbro,
It does seem to get easier as you get older not to take it personally when someone is shouting at you for something that isn't your fault. Each crewmember seems to have a different way of dealing with it. You could try imagining them naked while they are ranting, picture your empty uniform being shouted at, console yourself that at least you don't have to live with them, or any number of other things.
I tend now to try and see it as a challenge and the only way I can come out of it feeling good is to win them over. The best questions to ask them is "What can I do right now to make this better?" or "What would you like from me?" If there is nothing that can be done i.e. the weather is bad, the aircraft is broken, etc, then they will generally come to that conclusion themselves. If its beyond your control, then provide them with the means to contact someone who can help. And I remember one very effective remark from a crew member being "Don't shout at me sir, I am the only person here who can help you!"
Then go home and pour a glass of something appropriate and offer a prayer of thanks that nobody in your family would be so rude to someone who was just doing their job!
