Thick passenger comments
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 20
Likes: 0
From: Bangalore
First time Traveller?
A funny one from India.
Aircraft in level flight, FL200, dead calm, dirty brown haze below, cloudless blue all around.
Ding ding, CC, "Captain, there's a lady here asking why we aren't moving, She says we're sitting up here making lots of noise, but not going anywhere".
Captain, "Aah, tell her not to worry, while we're sitting up here, the earth is revolving underneath us, when Jabalpur comes, we'll come down again".
Short pause, CC, " Thank you Captain, explanation accepted"
Aircraft in level flight, FL200, dead calm, dirty brown haze below, cloudless blue all around.
Ding ding, CC, "Captain, there's a lady here asking why we aren't moving, She says we're sitting up here making lots of noise, but not going anywhere".
Captain, "Aah, tell her not to worry, while we're sitting up here, the earth is revolving underneath us, when Jabalpur comes, we'll come down again".
Short pause, CC, " Thank you Captain, explanation accepted"
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 4
Likes: 0
From: United Kingdom
At the request of the masses....(one person).....
"Michel Hazanavicius got me into trouble"
....Because of his movie.
Smack bang in the middle of the service a lady complained that her headset was not working. Being the star that I am, I replaced it immediately despite the hot plates backed up in the galley and told her I would check on her later.
I went back and asked her if things were satisfactory with the replacement...she said no, this new headset was broken too, not an unusual situation on our planes as the cords get frazzled by constant use and break all the time.
Spotting her annoyed face across the cabin after her THIRD headset I went back, feeling quite bad for her plight as she had paid a pretty penny for this First Class seat....
"It is still not working"
she proclaimed, "I cannot hear the talking".
I put the headset against my ear, looked at the screen....and she was watching The Artist- Hollywood silent film blockbuster.
How could I not burst out laughing?! Some things are just drop-dead funny and defy 'professional' courtesy, i am not an android and this was amusing as hell to me!
Subsequent complaint about feeling I had ridiculed her, had been condescending etc made to my CSM....and I got a dressing down about being more sensitive! Bloody hell
"Michel Hazanavicius got me into trouble"
....Because of his movie.
Smack bang in the middle of the service a lady complained that her headset was not working. Being the star that I am, I replaced it immediately despite the hot plates backed up in the galley and told her I would check on her later.
I went back and asked her if things were satisfactory with the replacement...she said no, this new headset was broken too, not an unusual situation on our planes as the cords get frazzled by constant use and break all the time.
Spotting her annoyed face across the cabin after her THIRD headset I went back, feeling quite bad for her plight as she had paid a pretty penny for this First Class seat....
"It is still not working"
she proclaimed, "I cannot hear the talking".I put the headset against my ear, looked at the screen....and she was watching The Artist- Hollywood silent film blockbuster.
How could I not burst out laughing?! Some things are just drop-dead funny and defy 'professional' courtesy, i am not an android and this was amusing as hell to me!
Subsequent complaint about feeling I had ridiculed her, had been condescending etc made to my CSM....and I got a dressing down about being more sensitive! Bloody hell
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,315
Likes: 10
From: France
RedBullAddict,
Nice one..... !
Funnily enough, most internet video (YouTube, various news orgs) will have a warning if there is (for some reason) no accompanying audio. Seems that somebody missed an occasion.
CJ
PS I haven't seen the movie yet, but if it is "in the style of" an ancient B/W silent movie, they could have added the appropriate piano player sound track....
Nice one..... !
Funnily enough, most internet video (YouTube, various news orgs) will have a warning if there is (for some reason) no accompanying audio. Seems that somebody missed an occasion.
CJ
PS I haven't seen the movie yet, but if it is "in the style of" an ancient B/W silent movie, they could have added the appropriate piano player sound track....
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,359
Likes: 46
From: Hollister, Hilo, Pago Pago, Norfolk Is., Brisbane, depending which day of the week it is...
Watched some tool stand up to get something from the o/h bins just as we flared for landing recently.
CC right in there with, "SIR! SIT DOWN NOW! YES, YOU! SIT DOWN, NOW!"
Moron.
Hilarious.
CC right in there with, "SIR! SIT DOWN NOW! YES, YOU! SIT DOWN, NOW!"
Moron.
Hilarious.
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 364
Likes: 0
From: Cloud9
Aer Fungus flight, US bound from Shannon. Johnny & Mary are in the autumn of their years, & are going to visit their son in Boston. Mary is in the window seat, Johnny in the middle, & large Yank guy in the aisle seat. Mary is a bit deaf.......
Yank: Where are you folks headed?
Johnny: Boston, to see our boy there.
Mary: What did he say?
Johnny: Repeats Yank's question.
Yank: Where in Ireland are you from?
Johnny: Tralee.
Yank: I had the worst sex in my life in Tralee, years ago.
Mary: What did he say?
Johnny: He said he thinks he knows you.
HB
Yank: Where are you folks headed?
Johnny: Boston, to see our boy there.
Mary: What did he say?
Johnny: Repeats Yank's question.
Yank: Where in Ireland are you from?
Johnny: Tralee.
Yank: I had the worst sex in my life in Tralee, years ago.
Mary: What did he say?
Johnny: He said he thinks he knows you.
HB
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 3
Likes: 0
From: Australia
Another crew member was told that 'the pilot should know better than to fly this fast through turbulence!' After a bit of back-and-forth explaining how the turbulence and airspeed is not an issue, the crew member gave up and walked off.
True story.
True story.
Life's too short for ironing
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 1,146
Likes: 0
From: Scotland, & Maryland, USA
ash.1111
Perhaps the passenger wasn't so wrong & the crew member wasn't so right.... Turbulence & airspeed very much are an issue. Just like driving your car along a rough road surface, going slower helps to reduce the jarring on the car.
Perhaps the passenger wasn't so wrong & the crew member wasn't so right.... Turbulence & airspeed very much are an issue. Just like driving your car along a rough road surface, going slower helps to reduce the jarring on the car.
§ 25.1517 Rough air speed, VRA.
A rough air speed, VRA, for use as the recommended turbulence penetration airspeed in §25.1585(a)(8), must be established, which—
(1) Is not greater than the design airspeed for maximum gust intensity, selected for VB; and
(2) Is not less than the minimum value of VB specified in §25.335(d); and
(3) Is sufficiently less than VMO to ensure that likely speed variation during rough air encounters will not cause the overspeed warning to operate too frequently. In the absence of a rational investigation substantiating the use of other values, VRA must be less than VMO—35 knots (TAS).
A rough air speed, VRA, for use as the recommended turbulence penetration airspeed in §25.1585(a)(8), must be established, which—
(1) Is not greater than the design airspeed for maximum gust intensity, selected for VB; and
(2) Is not less than the minimum value of VB specified in §25.335(d); and
(3) Is sufficiently less than VMO to ensure that likely speed variation during rough air encounters will not cause the overspeed warning to operate too frequently. In the absence of a rational investigation substantiating the use of other values, VRA must be less than VMO—35 knots (TAS).
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 155
Likes: 0
From: london
Train ticket serivce inbound to LGW.
Pax: "Can I have a ticket to London Victoria please".
Me: "Sure, Madam. Would you like a single or a return ticket?"
Pax: "What's the difference?"
Me: "Well, the single is for just one way, the return in also for coming back."
Pax: "But they are the same price, aren't they?"
Me: "No, Madam, the return ticket is just a little bit less than double the price of a single."
Pax: "Oh, which one do you think I should get?"
Me: "Are you retunring back to Gatwick within 30 days?"
Pax: "No, this is it, this is my return flight home"
Me: "In that case, Madam, I think you should have the single."
Pax: "Can I have a ticket to London Victoria please".
Me: "Sure, Madam. Would you like a single or a return ticket?"
Pax: "What's the difference?"
Me: "Well, the single is for just one way, the return in also for coming back."
Pax: "But they are the same price, aren't they?"
Me: "No, Madam, the return ticket is just a little bit less than double the price of a single."
Pax: "Oh, which one do you think I should get?"
Me: "Are you retunring back to Gatwick within 30 days?"
Pax: "No, this is it, this is my return flight home"
Me: "In that case, Madam, I think you should have the single."
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 241
Likes: 36
From: southwest
After purchasing an underwater case for an Iphone the pax asked;
"how do you make a phone call"
"sorry?"
"With the case on it, how do you make a phone call?"
"It's for use underwater"
"Yes, how do I make a call"
"underwater?"
"yes"
"erm......."
"how do you make a phone call"
"sorry?"
"With the case on it, how do you make a phone call?"
"It's for use underwater"
"Yes, how do I make a call"
"underwater?"
"yes"
"erm......."
Paxing All Over The World
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 10,841
Likes: 328
From: Hertfordshire, UK.
I have worked in service industries all my life. The phrase:
was one I learnt in my young days working at a posh hotel in London. The head porter told me: "The moment they walk in the door - their arms drop off and they can't even pick up their own newspaper."
Still true today.
It's a wonderful thread which I totally understand. I work in beareavement and we have to share some of the better ones we get to see and hear. It does not change the professional approach to the client. You want to hear what doctors say about us????
the "check their brains in with their baggage" phrase has been bandied around ...
Still true today.
It's a wonderful thread which I totally understand. I work in beareavement and we have to share some of the better ones we get to see and hear. It does not change the professional approach to the client. You want to hear what doctors say about us????
Last edited by PAXboy; 10th June 2012 at 23:34.
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 155
Likes: 0
From: london
On boarding a lady pax approaches me at the rear galley. The conversation goes like this:
"Hi, I'm also a flight attendant for Air xyz"
"Oh, hi, great, how are you?"
"I'm ok, but..... it hurts to piss."
"Oh, ok....................(wtf ???) Is there anything I can do for you?"
"Ah, no, I will be fine, I'll just have lots of cranberry juice to make me go to the toilet."
"Ok, well, thanks for telling me."
I stood there stunned, took a few minutes before it sank that it really did happen and I didn't just have a weird dream dozing in my crew seat.
"Hi, I'm also a flight attendant for Air xyz"
"Oh, hi, great, how are you?"
"I'm ok, but..... it hurts to piss."
"Oh, ok....................(wtf ???) Is there anything I can do for you?"
"Ah, no, I will be fine, I'll just have lots of cranberry juice to make me go to the toilet."
"Ok, well, thanks for telling me."
I stood there stunned, took a few minutes before it sank that it really did happen and I didn't just have a weird dream dozing in my crew seat.
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 4,777
Likes: 9
From: Blighty
I fly for an airline in China. One of our flights had one passenger missing at the headcount. Several attempts were made to rectify the discrepancy but the number of boarding cards matched the manifest, but there was still one passenger less on the aircraft. Then one of the cabin crew noticed a little old Chinese lady holding an urn to her chest. Yep, she was returing her deceased husband to the ancestral home for burial (v.impotant to Chinese) and she had bought him a ticket! Not only that, but the check in staff had checked him in.
We now have a stated policy that souls of the decased fly for free!
We now have a stated policy that souls of the decased fly for free!
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 285
Likes: 0
From: ici
Pax standing at the tiny cupboard door that says "Wheelchair Stowage Only"
Pax - Think someone's been in that toilet for an awful long time
Crew- Looks at the tiny cupboard door approx 4 ft high, looks back at pax & wonders how they hell they manage in day to day life......
Pax - Think someone's been in that toilet for an awful long time
Crew- Looks at the tiny cupboard door approx 4 ft high, looks back at pax & wonders how they hell they manage in day to day life......
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,833
Likes: 2
From: Sale, Australia
Love your stories. Our odious Singaporean friend should be on the receiving end of some of the treatment served here http://www.pprune.org/dg-p-general-a...ml#post7377964
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 119
Likes: 0
From: North of England
Recently on an Canada Jazz flight from YQY to YHZ.
Very funny (and happy) male flight attendant. Dunno if well known (in cabin crew circles) but I got the distinct feeling he liked playing to his "audience", especially before take-off. Who is he ?
Very funny (and happy) male flight attendant. Dunno if well known (in cabin crew circles) but I got the distinct feeling he liked playing to his "audience", especially before take-off.
Who is he ?
Last edited by 22 Degree Halo; 26th August 2012 at 22:46.