Thick passenger comments
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 58
Likes: 2
From: THE BLUEBIRD CAFE
Mate says checking in "Smith . . going to Cairns ,. . . . but can you put my bag on your next Darwin plane please?" " Oh no sir . . that's not possible."
'Why not? You did it a few weeks ago."
My way of going through security and not meeting any harassment (and they get training in this in this country, believe me) is to keep eyes focused on the floor a few feet ahead, not to look up, never to make eye contact with them and be thinking placidly a million miles away. Eccentric? Maybe . . but not once in a hundred
trips have I been asked to submit to any form of search or extra scan or drug/explosive lint scrape. More than once recently my poor wife (with metal replacements in the knees and hips) has been subjected to most offensive and invasive feels up the crutch by these unfortunate, often butch type women the contractors employ. It is 99% farce, the whole horrendously expensive set-up.
Last week on a domestic flight while waiting to use the front dunny, the F/O came out, stood chatting to a hostie for a minute or two, making the whole business of the secure locked and impenetrable door yet another farce.
The squillions spent on airport security deflects attention away from the fact that there is in the end nothing that can stop the determined maniac
getting hold of say a light twin and doing the suicide bombing thing. That there has been no reported apprehension, let alone actual hijack or aircraft theft sort of incident in this country
for many many years says a lot about the nature of the risk but also how improbable it is that despite living in this nanny-state, paranoid world, anything really bad will happen.
'Why not? You did it a few weeks ago."
My way of going through security and not meeting any harassment (and they get training in this in this country, believe me) is to keep eyes focused on the floor a few feet ahead, not to look up, never to make eye contact with them and be thinking placidly a million miles away. Eccentric? Maybe . . but not once in a hundred
trips have I been asked to submit to any form of search or extra scan or drug/explosive lint scrape. More than once recently my poor wife (with metal replacements in the knees and hips) has been subjected to most offensive and invasive feels up the crutch by these unfortunate, often butch type women the contractors employ. It is 99% farce, the whole horrendously expensive set-up.
Last week on a domestic flight while waiting to use the front dunny, the F/O came out, stood chatting to a hostie for a minute or two, making the whole business of the secure locked and impenetrable door yet another farce.
The squillions spent on airport security deflects attention away from the fact that there is in the end nothing that can stop the determined maniac
getting hold of say a light twin and doing the suicide bombing thing. That there has been no reported apprehension, let alone actual hijack or aircraft theft sort of incident in this country
for many many years says a lot about the nature of the risk but also how improbable it is that despite living in this nanny-state, paranoid world, anything really bad will happen.
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,103
Likes: 0
From: 45 yards from a tropical beach
Fantome
The 'suicide bomber' would never make it in a light twin. Once the left engine had thrown a piston and the right engine, now at full power, was losing oil pressure, he would be on his way to his fate long before reaching his chosen target.
in the end nothing that can stop the determined maniac
getting hold of say a light twin and doing the suicide bombing thing.
getting hold of say a light twin and doing the suicide bombing thing.
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 10
Likes: 0
From: In a cool place
@Well he was very perceptive on one thing....we are all going to die.
I must admit I have felt the same way after eating out in India.
Where exactly did you eat out in India, what did you eat and why was it a bad experience? I find most people who eat out are fine if they choose their eateries. Pretty much the same, all over the world, I would think!!
I must admit I have felt the same way after eating out in India.
Where exactly did you eat out in India, what did you eat and why was it a bad experience? I find most people who eat out are fine if they choose their eateries. Pretty much the same, all over the world, I would think!!
Last edited by Windsprite; 21st May 2013 at 09:59. Reason: Added original post
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,305
Likes: 2
From: Why oh why would I wanna be anywhere else?
I'm sure you'd rather your pilots were left alone, isolated, needing the toilet and not talking for their whole 12 hour shift..
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 889
Likes: 3
From: UK
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened at Luton Airport
Not me I hasten to add someone sent that to me but it makes sense if you think about it doesn't it?
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened at Luton Airport
Not me I hasten to add someone sent that to me but it makes sense if you think about it doesn't it?
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 4,258
Likes: 0
From: Australia - South of where I'd like to be !
t1grm
My objection is people who turn up in the queue and have no end of
bits and pieces to take out of pockets - which invariably they don't
start organising until they get to the trays and so it takes ages
- and then have broaches, large metal belt buckles, metal shoes
to add to it.
I wish some advice was given out to flyers to plan ahead.
Might be too much to ask.
My objection is people who turn up in the queue and have no end of
bits and pieces to take out of pockets - which invariably they don't
start organising until they get to the trays and so it takes ages
- and then have broaches, large metal belt buckles, metal shoes
to add to it.
I wish some advice was given out to flyers to plan ahead.
Might be too much to ask.
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 130
Likes: 0
From: .
t1grm
My objection is people who turn up in the queue and have no end of
bits and pieces to take out of pockets - which invariably they don't
start organising until they get to the trays and so it takes ages
- and then have broaches, large metal belt buckles, metal shoes
to add to it.
I wish some advice was given out to flyers to plan ahead.
Might be too much to ask.
My objection is people who turn up in the queue and have no end of
bits and pieces to take out of pockets - which invariably they don't
start organising until they get to the trays and so it takes ages
- and then have broaches, large metal belt buckles, metal shoes
to add to it.
I wish some advice was given out to flyers to plan ahead.
Might be too much to ask.
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 27
Likes: 0
From: Warwickshire
This is slightly offtopic as this comment was written today as a response to the silly daily mail article, complaining how they're slowing their planes by 2mins per hour to save fuel. A misguided but funny response:
Some car drivers used to (some still do) switch off their engine whilst travelling down hill to save petrol. Perhaps Ryan Air could ask their pilots to switch the engines off when there is a backwind say, or even switch just one engine off, as planes are capable of flying on one engine until ready for descent. Just a though.
- RBCR , Basingstoke,
Some car drivers used to (some still do) switch off their engine whilst travelling down hill to save petrol. Perhaps Ryan Air could ask their pilots to switch the engines off when there is a backwind say, or even switch just one engine off, as planes are capable of flying on one engine until ready for descent. Just a though.
- RBCR , Basingstoke,
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 184
Likes: 25
From: hector's house
Thick Passengers
Hello All,
I am now so fed up with passengers yelling to me in the flightdeck from the forward vestibule (B737) with dumb comments such as:
"You said 10 minutes to landing on the PA and I timed it and it was 12, that's not very good!"
"There are screws missing on the wings" (engine pylon vents)
"You've got an oil leak" (condensation)
"The wing looks bent" (winglet)
"You've had an airmiss by 200', file a report, I'm a glider pilot!!" (TCAS, ATC anyone?)
"A bit fell off the engine on landing" (Thrust Reverser deployment)
"You've braked too hard, you have to call the engineers" (Autobrake 3, Idle reverse)
"You hit something up there!" (wake turbulence)
"Lousy parking, you're miles from the corridor" (airbridge)
"You took off on one engine, I'm reporting you to the CAA!" (he did)
"It's not foggy at the airport, my sister is there, why can't you do an autoland?" (100m visibility, non precision approach)
Now, a few years ago I would have taken some time to reassure the concerned individuals that all was normal and explained what it was that they saw, heard or felt in order to further good PR and to make the passenger feel appreciated and to avoid being dismissive.
However, now we have more and more of these inane comments coming thick and fast (pardon the pun) from ruder and apparently dumber passengers who don't seem to want to believe the truth even when I take the time to explain it, and coupled with insanely short turn round times so I don't have the opportunity these days to explain anything in detail, I'm afraid that I resorted to telling the last complainant firmly just to "get off as you are blocking the emergency exit". No further conversation was entered into.
This did the trick.
I'm a bit disappointed that it has come to this but I've run out of patience and good ideas, and I'm not too bothered with good PR any more as it seems to be completely wasted on the masses, any suggestions folks?
I am now so fed up with passengers yelling to me in the flightdeck from the forward vestibule (B737) with dumb comments such as:
"You said 10 minutes to landing on the PA and I timed it and it was 12, that's not very good!"
"There are screws missing on the wings" (engine pylon vents)
"You've got an oil leak" (condensation)
"The wing looks bent" (winglet)
"You've had an airmiss by 200', file a report, I'm a glider pilot!!" (TCAS, ATC anyone?)
"A bit fell off the engine on landing" (Thrust Reverser deployment)
"You've braked too hard, you have to call the engineers" (Autobrake 3, Idle reverse)
"You hit something up there!" (wake turbulence)
"Lousy parking, you're miles from the corridor" (airbridge)
"You took off on one engine, I'm reporting you to the CAA!" (he did)
"It's not foggy at the airport, my sister is there, why can't you do an autoland?" (100m visibility, non precision approach)
Now, a few years ago I would have taken some time to reassure the concerned individuals that all was normal and explained what it was that they saw, heard or felt in order to further good PR and to make the passenger feel appreciated and to avoid being dismissive.
However, now we have more and more of these inane comments coming thick and fast (pardon the pun) from ruder and apparently dumber passengers who don't seem to want to believe the truth even when I take the time to explain it, and coupled with insanely short turn round times so I don't have the opportunity these days to explain anything in detail, I'm afraid that I resorted to telling the last complainant firmly just to "get off as you are blocking the emergency exit". No further conversation was entered into.
This did the trick.
I'm a bit disappointed that it has come to this but I've run out of patience and good ideas, and I'm not too bothered with good PR any more as it seems to be completely wasted on the masses, any suggestions folks?
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 338
Likes: 17
From: London
I'm a bit disappointed that it has come to this but I've run out of patience and good ideas, and I'm not too bothered with good PR any more as it seems to be completely wasted on the masses, any suggestions folks?
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,694
Likes: 15
From: Wellington,NZ
Originally Posted by hec7or
I'm a bit disappointed that it has come to this but I've run out of patience and good ideas, and I'm not too bothered with good PR any more as it seems to be completely wasted on the masses, any suggestions folks?
If you're lucky, it will be a different class of "masses".
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,366
Likes: 0
From: UK
Overheard next to a carousel in GLA on Wednesday: "You'd think our bags would be here by now; I'm sure we were first to check in".
My fellow pax worry me sometimes.
My fellow pax worry me sometimes.
If you follow the sequence, first to check in would mean first in the hold area waiting to be loaded, so first on the truck so last off the truck, so first on the aircraft, so first off the aircraft and first on the carousel. Or something like that.
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,191
Likes: 0
From: lancs.UK
so first on the aircraft, so first off the aircraft
First on ,is, logically, last off.
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 314
Likes: 0
From: Land of Ice and Fire
you forgot the pax scanner
You probably just donīt notice the cameras as you enter the baggage claim area. Using face recognition software, the faces of the first passengers to clear immigration and arrive at the baggage claim, will be scanned and their baggage will be set aside until the last few bags come in.
Meanwhile, the passengers last off the aircraft, will have their bags going round and round and round, as entertainment for these first passengers, waiting for their own bags.
Meanwhile, the passengers last off the aircraft, will have their bags going round and round and round, as entertainment for these first passengers, waiting for their own bags.
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,366
Likes: 0
From: UK
so first on the aircraft, so first off the aircraft
EH?...How do you work that one out then? Are you suggesting that every cargo compartment has an "IN" door , and an "OUT" door?....so the loaders push the first bag all the way to the out door and pile the others behind? NO
First on ,is, logically, last off.
EH?...How do you work that one out then? Are you suggesting that every cargo compartment has an "IN" door , and an "OUT" door?....so the loaders push the first bag all the way to the out door and pile the others behind? NO
First on ,is, logically, last off.
There must be some logical process to bag handling, and more often than not I find that if I checked my hold bag ridiculously early then it's one of the first out, whereas travelling companions who checked in much later had to wait longer for theirs.
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,235
Likes: 13
From: UK
Baggage loading
The trouble with baggage loading is it varies so much. At a tiny airport they may well put each bag straight onto the trolley which then gets pulled out to the aircraft. If that's the case the first bags will be at the bottom of the pile, last into the aircraft, first off onto the trolley and at the bottom of the pile again so last onto the conveyor.
All that assumes one trolley. Add a 2nd trolley and all bets are off; fill one first, then the other or spread the load across both trolleys in some logical, or more likely, illogical way? Now, when you get to the aircraft the trolleys will get loaded one by one so now everything is potentially mixed up. And the whole process at the other end will probably have bags coming off onto one trolley and when that's full the rest go on the next trolley. Which gets offloaded first at the terminal?
Now think about somewhere like Heathrow. People checking in 3 hours before departure for a 747. The bags probably go to a holding area then into a container. Some airlines prioritise bags of premium classes so First and Business bags go into the last container loaded on the plane (in theory). By the time the bags have been put in several containers and then several containers have been offloaded and taken back to the terminal who knows what order they're in.
All that assumes one trolley. Add a 2nd trolley and all bets are off; fill one first, then the other or spread the load across both trolleys in some logical, or more likely, illogical way? Now, when you get to the aircraft the trolleys will get loaded one by one so now everything is potentially mixed up. And the whole process at the other end will probably have bags coming off onto one trolley and when that's full the rest go on the next trolley. Which gets offloaded first at the terminal?
Now think about somewhere like Heathrow. People checking in 3 hours before departure for a 747. The bags probably go to a holding area then into a container. Some airlines prioritise bags of premium classes so First and Business bags go into the last container loaded on the plane (in theory). By the time the bags have been put in several containers and then several containers have been offloaded and taken back to the terminal who knows what order they're in.