ATC Humour (Merged)
during LVP ops at FAJS the RVR readers failed which in essence closed the airport. when we started getting flights out again we realised that a lot of crews had duty time constarints so the GMC controller went to each crew to ask how much duty time thay had so we could try help. The one SAA crew response was
"No ma'am we fine as long as you can get us back in time for the Rugby this Afternoon"
Really shows where our passion lies but never the less got a smile from an otherwise unhappy GMC Controller
"No ma'am we fine as long as you can get us back in time for the Rugby this Afternoon"
Really shows where our passion lies but never the less got a smile from an otherwise unhappy GMC Controller
My nine year old son recently announced his career choice: he wants to fly A380s for Air France:
'Dad, I'll earn lots of money, live in Paris, work half as many hours as you and most of the time it will fly itself.'
Have to say I was quite proud.
'Dad, I'll earn lots of money, live in Paris, work half as many hours as you and most of the time it will fly itself.'
Have to say I was quite proud.
Join Date: Jan 2003
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many years ago... it's very quiet. A controller gets an initial call on UHF from a Nimrod requesting radar service...
but before he can answer gets another call from the same callsign, different voice, on VHF asking the same thing...
brilliant quick thinking, controller turns off VHF and gives a turn for ident to the left. The quickly switches UHF off and VHF on, and gives an ident turn to the right!!!
Radar return seen to fly straight ahead for 4-5 miles then third voice comes over the air... "Nice one, you got us there!"
but before he can answer gets another call from the same callsign, different voice, on VHF asking the same thing...
brilliant quick thinking, controller turns off VHF and gives a turn for ident to the left. The quickly switches UHF off and VHF on, and gives an ident turn to the right!!!
Radar return seen to fly straight ahead for 4-5 miles then third voice comes over the air... "Nice one, you got us there!"
Join Date: Jun 2005
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Was getting to dusk an I was listening in to local freq. Heard the following exchange between instructor in flight and AFIS.
FIS: "G-**** do you require runway lights for your approach?"
Instr: "Ahh.. negative, we'll be ok G-****"
FIS: "Oh good, cos we dont have 'em on that runway!"
lol
JW
FIS: "G-**** do you require runway lights for your approach?"
Instr: "Ahh.. negative, we'll be ok G-****"
FIS: "Oh good, cos we dont have 'em on that runway!"
lol
JW
A few days back heard the strangest question for our Rugby Mad Nation
UAE*** inbound gets taken off the arrival for shorter routing.
After turning on to the heading replies
"Radar UAE*** got time for a quick question?"
ATC and Exec preper to use vast aviation knowledge and say go ahead
Uae reply "Is Jake White still the coach"
Total confusion between the 2 of us behind the radar then realise that the press had rumoured that if Our Boks didn't win on Sat Our national Coach was supposed to quit. Luckly our team won.
Well was very funy for us
UAE*** inbound gets taken off the arrival for shorter routing.
After turning on to the heading replies
"Radar UAE*** got time for a quick question?"
ATC and Exec preper to use vast aviation knowledge and say go ahead
Uae reply "Is Jake White still the coach"
Total confusion between the 2 of us behind the radar then realise that the press had rumoured that if Our Boks didn't win on Sat Our national Coach was supposed to quit. Luckly our team won.
Well was very funy for us
Recidivist
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Heard at Southend Air Show, couple of years ago:-
Pleasure flight helicopter pilot to passing Chinook from the display
"Give us a lift"
"Inside or outside?"
Pleasure flight helicopter pilot to passing Chinook from the display
"Give us a lift"
"Inside or outside?"
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Ryanairland
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Fast Jet Humour
Told by an ex RAF Colleage;
Female Fast Jet pilot on long finals following flap motor problems and worried about stopping.
'**** Tower, ****23 My flaps are a bit sticky. Will have to use the RHAG.
Laugh, I nearly sh@t
For info RHAG is Hook arrestor Gear
Female Fast Jet pilot on long finals following flap motor problems and worried about stopping.
'**** Tower, ****23 My flaps are a bit sticky. Will have to use the RHAG.
Laugh, I nearly sh@t
For info RHAG is Hook arrestor Gear
At Moorabbin a student was conducting Xwind circuits on a grass strip- ATC forgot about her.
"Tower ABC ready and waiting on the grass"
Unknown voice:
"Great is your gear down and locked"
Another female student pilot on solo navex from Moorabbin.
"Request airways clearance and request to be routed via Wangaratta"
Unknown:
"Madam you may be routed anywhere in Australia"
"Tower ABC ready and waiting on the grass"
Unknown voice:
"Great is your gear down and locked"
Another female student pilot on solo navex from Moorabbin.
"Request airways clearance and request to be routed via Wangaratta"
Unknown:
"Madam you may be routed anywhere in Australia"
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45 pages....
Well... i might be considered crayz, but I just read all 45 pages... took me about 7 hours. I almost forgot to have a smoking break! Hilarious stuff guys. Keep them coming!
Take care!
Chris
Take care!
Chris
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Ryanairland
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Me, Two days ago after a long day. It's good to laugh at yourself.
Me: Prestwick Tower G**** is left base RW31
Twr: Roger G** cleared final RW31 No.1 Qnh 1031
Me: Roger cleared final no1 RW 10, RW 31, stand by.
pause to collect thoughts,
Me: Cleared final 13 number eh, stand by.
Me: Cleared 10 er G** has lost powers of speech.
Twr: I knew what you meant.
Me: Prestwick Tower G**** is left base RW31
Twr: Roger G** cleared final RW31 No.1 Qnh 1031
Me: Roger cleared final no1 RW 10, RW 31, stand by.
pause to collect thoughts,
Me: Cleared final 13 number eh, stand by.
Me: Cleared 10 er G** has lost powers of speech.
Twr: I knew what you meant.
Forewarned is Forearmed
Join Date: Nov 2003
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Just 30 mins ago.
ASU: Approaching A-2 for the Runway Inspection
TWR: Enter 27 from A-2 ASU.
ASU: Tower, ASU just holding off the Runway inspection, just chasing off a cat from A-2.
TWR: Roger ASU you are still cleared to enter 27, report when entering.
ASU:Report when entering 27.
TWR: ASU stop chasing the Pussy!!
(from 2nd controller in tower at the time who could not resist it.)
A few wide grins aboutthe place in sure
ASU: Approaching A-2 for the Runway Inspection
TWR: Enter 27 from A-2 ASU.
ASU: Tower, ASU just holding off the Runway inspection, just chasing off a cat from A-2.
TWR: Roger ASU you are still cleared to enter 27, report when entering.
ASU:Report when entering 27.
TWR: ASU stop chasing the Pussy!!
(from 2nd controller in tower at the time who could not resist it.)A few wide grins aboutthe place in sure
Join Date: Jun 2005
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I always had trouble finding good aviation R/T humor on the net... this threat solved my problem!
As a pilot myself, I have heard of or encounter a few of those amusing moments, and please allow me to shear it with you all.
First two is actually the same controller from Jax Approach, and it happened within 10 minutes while I was flying a 172 from Jacksonville, Florida to Macon, Georgia.
First one:
Comair 123, "Comair 123 checking in FL 250, we have whiskey, looking for a visual runway 7."
Approach, "I wish I have that..."
Second one:
Mooney, "Jax Approach, Mooney...(garbled)...... requesting...(garbled)......"
Approach, "Last aircraft calling, say again callsign. Your transmission is garbled and unreadable."
Mooney(seem frustrated, thus in a louder voice), "Jax Approach, Mooney 12....(garbled).................."
Approach, "Last aircraft calling, speaking louder doesn't make it clearer."
Finally, this is a legend at my flight school, which supposedly happened a few years before I enrolled.
Female Student Pilot, "Craig Ground, Skyhawk 54321 with information charlie, VFR southbound, ready for taxi."
Ground, "Skyhawk 54321, give way to the fokker ahead, taxi to runway 23."
Student, "er... okay... I will taxi to runway 23, give head to the fokker away......"
-Lok
As a pilot myself, I have heard of or encounter a few of those amusing moments, and please allow me to shear it with you all.
First two is actually the same controller from Jax Approach, and it happened within 10 minutes while I was flying a 172 from Jacksonville, Florida to Macon, Georgia.
First one:
Comair 123, "Comair 123 checking in FL 250, we have whiskey, looking for a visual runway 7."
Approach, "I wish I have that..."
Second one:
Mooney, "Jax Approach, Mooney...(garbled)...... requesting...(garbled)......"
Approach, "Last aircraft calling, say again callsign. Your transmission is garbled and unreadable."
Mooney(seem frustrated, thus in a louder voice), "Jax Approach, Mooney 12....(garbled).................."
Approach, "Last aircraft calling, speaking louder doesn't make it clearer."
Finally, this is a legend at my flight school, which supposedly happened a few years before I enrolled.
Female Student Pilot, "Craig Ground, Skyhawk 54321 with information charlie, VFR southbound, ready for taxi."
Ground, "Skyhawk 54321, give way to the fokker ahead, taxi to runway 23."
Student, "er... okay... I will taxi to runway 23, give head to the fokker away......"
-Lok
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This happened last week at Bournemouth
Tower: Coastguard, are you able to use the Southern Taxiway to complete your manoeuvres.
Coastguard: Uh...I'l do what ever you want me to.
Tower: If it's good for you then it's good for me.
Coastguard: I can't believe you just said that.
Tower: I know...I feel a 'lil bit dirty myself.
Tower: Coastguard, are you able to use the Southern Taxiway to complete your manoeuvres.
Coastguard: Uh...I'l do what ever you want me to.
Tower: If it's good for you then it's good for me.
Coastguard: I can't believe you just said that.
Tower: I know...I feel a 'lil bit dirty myself.
Join Date: Jul 2005
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This happened this evening. If you've ever wondered what we're up to when we say 'sorry I was on the landline', then this is for you.
*ring*
Me: "Humberside radar"
Manch: "Manchester East co-ordinator, level please, KLM XXXX"
Me: "Hmm *rummage*... I don't have a strip for a KLM XXXX"
Manch: "Huh?... Oh god, it's going to Teesside you pillock!"
Me: "Heheh. Yes, entirely my fault for not being Teesside."
Manch: "Sorry, not you, I was talking to this idiot beside me."
The poor chap was still getting abuse for it when they called for a level on the next inbound.
*ring*
Me: "Humberside radar"
Manch: "Manchester East co-ordinator, level please, KLM XXXX"
Me: "Hmm *rummage*... I don't have a strip for a KLM XXXX"
Manch: "Huh?... Oh god, it's going to Teesside you pillock!"
Me: "Heheh. Yes, entirely my fault for not being Teesside."
Manch: "Sorry, not you, I was talking to this idiot beside me."
The poor chap was still getting abuse for it when they called for a level on the next inbound.
Last edited by Everything Flows; 30th Jul 2005 at 02:00.
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A real running rabbit
The last Boeing for the night landed at ENEV. On their way to gate 30, the pilot said:
CNOXXXX:"Ehhh...can you see the running rabbit in front of us?"
I was confused, but i saw a small shaddow running like h... in front of the plane, and I said:
TWR:"CNOXXXX yes i do, ehh...the rabbit is on its way to gate 28, no conflict"
CNOXXX:"Ah, thank you, have a good evening"
CNOXXXX:"Ehhh...can you see the running rabbit in front of us?"
I was confused, but i saw a small shaddow running like h... in front of the plane, and I said:
TWR:"CNOXXXX yes i do, ehh...the rabbit is on its way to gate 28, no conflict"
CNOXXX:"Ah, thank you, have a good evening"