You Know You Are In Africa When.....
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: UK
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I wonder if there is more than a bit of spoof in this, or maybe it's even more "you know you're in Africa when"
----- the pilot's name is Capt Deogratius!
I'll get my coat...
----- the pilot's name is Capt Deogratius!
I'll get my coat...
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: New Zealand
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So glad I left there...
- When the weather report from TWR in a remote aerodrome is always the same regardless of the current weather conditions
- When the marshaller gives useless instructions and once you've parked by your own means you discover his brother in law in replacing him today
- When on final you don't heard anything else from TWR and you have to use the phone to get a landing clearance as the have been a power cut and the stby generator of the airport is "sick"
- When you have specifically instructed the loaders to do not load something in the front cargo compartment and as soon as you turn around they load it on the front cargo compartment...
- When whoever is selling the plane tickets has sold more tickets than seats on the aircraft
- When you get a loadsheet full o female names, with female weights and you have only male passenger on board
- When you have left a full fuel barrel in your home base airport and when you come back is still full but with other liquid such as water
- When you have rejected some bags as cargo because of overweight problems and the pax show up with the same cargo as hand luggage
- When pulling out some $US speeds up any CAA paperwork
and more and more and more...
- When the marshaller gives useless instructions and once you've parked by your own means you discover his brother in law in replacing him today
- When on final you don't heard anything else from TWR and you have to use the phone to get a landing clearance as the have been a power cut and the stby generator of the airport is "sick"
- When you have specifically instructed the loaders to do not load something in the front cargo compartment and as soon as you turn around they load it on the front cargo compartment...
- When whoever is selling the plane tickets has sold more tickets than seats on the aircraft
- When you get a loadsheet full o female names, with female weights and you have only male passenger on board
- When you have left a full fuel barrel in your home base airport and when you come back is still full but with other liquid such as water
- When you have rejected some bags as cargo because of overweight problems and the pax show up with the same cargo as hand luggage
- When pulling out some $US speeds up any CAA paperwork
and more and more and more...
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In my villa.
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Looking at the picture the aircraft barely touched the container. Stop, get out, look around bemusedly and say WTF. But punch out? Darwin wins again.
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: South Africa
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ahhmm
When sector fuel requires refuelling till it runs down the wings onto the ramp, which will give you 30 mins at destination...no alternate.
When hitching a ride with an Ukranian crewed AN12, an minor crew altercation on route escalates to a 5 minute stand-up fight, only to be settled with a shot of the good stuff...also on route.
When the landing light switches are placarded
"Deployment above 130kIAS prohibited, spares position critical"
When MEL placarded instruments exceed the number of servicable ones.
When you discover that after 6mo flying sector MSA is 500' above where you like to bomb thu IMC.
When stopped by the local constabulary for drinking and driving, they make you down the beer before continuing the journey. Kunt' drink AND drive!
Reporting a near miss, the authority is more concerned with your attire than the 707 that bust altitude. Then not believing you despite the action pic of said 707 filling your Van's windsreen.
When having a camera at the ready in and out of Lu to take action photos.
Been in country long enough that being stopped by the police is no longer a fearful experience, more an opportunity to bait them for 10min of light entertainment.
When you realize that you phrase "Now there is something you dont see every day!" is wearing your crew down.
That the "train" you saw out the crew bus window, in broad daylight, had nothing to do with rail, even tho' people were moving and queing.
When the Friday night party coincides with a medivac call-out and 3 crew members get sent to fly as everyone is 3/4 under the weather already.
When the new guy straight out of 43rd has been in country for three days and you discover he hasn't had a meal yet. Too scared to leave the camp because he BELIEVES there are snipers around "dodge and weave" is SOP when outside.
An authorized test flight involves retrieving the video camera from the cargo pod, (stashed there post flight) before the police arrive and having the A/C impounded for a month for busting retricted airspace.
Amazing low level footage of the coastline and presidential palace!
When there is no water or power on the airfield, but a fully overhauled FCU can be had for 200 usd.
Airfield currency is Stolichnaya Premium Vodka and USD exclusively.
When there is the will to import the worlds best perfume into duty free, but not to fix the airport building toilets....EVER!
When you can, without batting an eyelid, ignore the urchin, with hand outstretched and knuckles repeatedly knocking on the window.....amigo...amigo...amigo...amigo...amigo............ ....
You fly into the most remote fields and there is always COLD beer on sale.
When you go fishing in the crew bus and don't bother to move it with the incoming tide, just climb on top and carry on fishing.
When the Weber braai/BBQ becomes a permanent fixture to the crew 4X4, even when in use and in the UN HQ.
When it takes 16 hrs to get to JFK, but takes 20 to get to the crew house.
After 18 mo. in country no one can find the crew-bus oil dipstick....aah but the intent was there.
When 805degC engine limit for 5 min is purely academic, and flap retraction after T/O is 15 min.
Bombing thru' the red on the radar to see what it feels like!
Using the locals for ballast to change a nose wheel.
When hitching a ride with an Ukranian crewed AN12, an minor crew altercation on route escalates to a 5 minute stand-up fight, only to be settled with a shot of the good stuff...also on route.
When the landing light switches are placarded
"Deployment above 130kIAS prohibited, spares position critical"
When MEL placarded instruments exceed the number of servicable ones.
When you discover that after 6mo flying sector MSA is 500' above where you like to bomb thu IMC.
When stopped by the local constabulary for drinking and driving, they make you down the beer before continuing the journey. Kunt' drink AND drive!
Reporting a near miss, the authority is more concerned with your attire than the 707 that bust altitude. Then not believing you despite the action pic of said 707 filling your Van's windsreen.
When having a camera at the ready in and out of Lu to take action photos.
Been in country long enough that being stopped by the police is no longer a fearful experience, more an opportunity to bait them for 10min of light entertainment.
When you realize that you phrase "Now there is something you dont see every day!" is wearing your crew down.
That the "train" you saw out the crew bus window, in broad daylight, had nothing to do with rail, even tho' people were moving and queing.
When the Friday night party coincides with a medivac call-out and 3 crew members get sent to fly as everyone is 3/4 under the weather already.
When the new guy straight out of 43rd has been in country for three days and you discover he hasn't had a meal yet. Too scared to leave the camp because he BELIEVES there are snipers around "dodge and weave" is SOP when outside.
An authorized test flight involves retrieving the video camera from the cargo pod, (stashed there post flight) before the police arrive and having the A/C impounded for a month for busting retricted airspace.
Amazing low level footage of the coastline and presidential palace!
When there is no water or power on the airfield, but a fully overhauled FCU can be had for 200 usd.
Airfield currency is Stolichnaya Premium Vodka and USD exclusively.
When there is the will to import the worlds best perfume into duty free, but not to fix the airport building toilets....EVER!
When you can, without batting an eyelid, ignore the urchin, with hand outstretched and knuckles repeatedly knocking on the window.....amigo...amigo...amigo...amigo...amigo............ ....
You fly into the most remote fields and there is always COLD beer on sale.
When you go fishing in the crew bus and don't bother to move it with the incoming tide, just climb on top and carry on fishing.
When the Weber braai/BBQ becomes a permanent fixture to the crew 4X4, even when in use and in the UN HQ.
When it takes 16 hrs to get to JFK, but takes 20 to get to the crew house.
After 18 mo. in country no one can find the crew-bus oil dipstick....aah but the intent was there.
When 805degC engine limit for 5 min is purely academic, and flap retraction after T/O is 15 min.
Bombing thru' the red on the radar to see what it feels like!
Using the locals for ballast to change a nose wheel.
Join Date: Nov 2012
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When a goat eats your general dec's
cancelling the day and your co-jo is Icelandic and wants to start a revolution over it or get drunk whichever comes first for which you agree on the latter only to discover that the cupboard holds an empty bottle of Red Label and a full bottle of Bond 7....
Join Date: Sep 2007
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Perched in the back of a Caravan, flogging through the clouds to somewhere ordinary in Tanzania, and realizing that the pilot has his (full size) newspaper spread in front of him. But, to be fair, the landings and takeoffs on rough strips were fine.
Last edited by caiman27; 21st Nov 2012 at 17:49.
Join Date: Dec 1999
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Newspaper? That's nothing! My colleague used to fly said Caravan to cruise level and say to the pax, "Wake me up when you see the coast" - and go to sleep for 3 hrs!
And he wasn't African, he was ex USN!!!
I suppose the real "You know you're in Africa when ..." moment was when one of the pax, a UK multi PHD Professor who'd probably been in Africa too long asked me why I didn't sleep in the cruise too!
And he wasn't African, he was ex USN!!!
I suppose the real "You know you're in Africa when ..." moment was when one of the pax, a UK multi PHD Professor who'd probably been in Africa too long asked me why I didn't sleep in the cruise too!
Join Date: May 2007
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If it wasn't for these jobs in Africa how would we support our families ?
If Africa was 1st world you western guys would be up sh$T creek without a paddle !!!
Nice thread but I don't think we need to ridicule the very same people that are the reason we have or had jobs in deepest darkest Africa ! Also flying on contract in Africa pays more than most Regional Carriers in the U.S.
If Africa was 1st world you western guys would be up sh$T creek without a paddle !!!
Nice thread but I don't think we need to ridicule the very same people that are the reason we have or had jobs in deepest darkest Africa ! Also flying on contract in Africa pays more than most Regional Carriers in the U.S.
Join Date: Nov 2000
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"If it wasn't for these jobs in Africa how would we support our families ?"
"If Africa was 1st world you western guys would be up sh$T creek without a paddle !!! "
Ghost_Rider737 I have been following this thread for years. Though full of true stories and some of them outrageous I have come to accept that the moderators seem not to mind the mockery and enjoy its popularity.
Never mind.
Very kind of you.
Zazoo
"If Africa was 1st world you western guys would be up sh$T creek without a paddle !!! "
Ghost_Rider737 I have been following this thread for years. Though full of true stories and some of them outrageous I have come to accept that the moderators seem not to mind the mockery and enjoy its popularity.
Never mind.
Very kind of you.
Zazoo
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Ghost. Get off your high horse.
Everyone who works or has worked there has never said that they are not grateful for their experience there.
These are things that are experienced in everyday life in Africa that we will never experience anywhere else in the world....and would never have it any other way.
Everyone who works or has worked there has never said that they are not grateful for their experience there.
These are things that are experienced in everyday life in Africa that we will never experience anywhere else in the world....and would never have it any other way.
Join Date: Nov 2012
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I did ten years in Africa
and I loved every, ahem, almost every day of it. One day Africa is going to explode into economic opportunity to make China look like a Kiosk. In the meantime I just can’t figure out why I keep watching Moesha. Maybe I should see a shrink.
Future Aviators using "STIMULATORS"
Well in Nigeria, they use Stimulators 
to teach Aviation....
Niger sent 10 cadets to be trained in Nigeria at the cost of 80,000,000 Nairas (about 1/2 M $ translating into $ US 50,000 PER STUDENT) TO BE STIMULATED. I would love to have learned my Aviators skills in Nigeria while being Stimulated.....
Link to the News story allAfrica.com: Nigeria: Niger Spends N80 Million to Train 10 Pilots
to teach Aviation....Niger sent 10 cadets to be trained in Nigeria at the cost of 80,000,000 Nairas (about 1/2 M $ translating into $ US 50,000 PER STUDENT) TO BE STIMULATED. I would love to have learned my Aviators skills in Nigeria while being Stimulated.....
"We are spending N8 million each for the training of each pilot, who had concluded their ground training, using the stimulators in Minna and the training facilities in Zaria.
Last edited by Melax; 31st Dec 2012 at 16:37.
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You know you are in Africa when:
after a trans-Atlantic crossing, unloading, refueling, the crew flies the airplane to ANOTHER (more secure) country for hotel/crew rest.
Last edited by 727gm; 1st Jan 2013 at 00:58.
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malex
I think its poor journalism Nigeria don't use sims to teach aviation. And as aviators we all use sims often for learning. NCAT zaria has more modern planes than many flights school in usa and world. A fleet of TB 9,TB20, TB850M turbine, baron 58, DA 42 so how then will pilots train on sim only