You Know You Are In Africa When.....
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Beyond the Blue Horizon
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Or packs of Marlborough !
Nigerian In Law
The "drugs" were Paracetomol ! Too many fakes made from compressed chalk locally.
Gave him £2 in coins........ gotta love the initiative though.
Gave him £2 in coins........ gotta love the initiative though.
Nigerian In Law
You're In Africa........
When you're sitting on a rusty satellite platform in the Bight of Biafra burning and turning single pilot in a Bell 212 watching two guys fighting under the rotor disc, doing a tug of war with the last lifejacket and it deploys. So you load the winner and take off anyway. 
Just after leveling off, thinking of the numerous better places you could be, a call comes over the company VHF from a guy who used to fly there (you did his line training) who now flies 777s with BA. He's at Flight Level nosebleed en route LHR to Jo'burg. He tells you he's just had his First Class meal and he's going to sleep in a 5 Star hotel with the trolley dolly who served it. You tell him you're busy and have to go off frequency.
You land, go straight to the bar, down a cold one and contemplate your navel.........
Just after leveling off, thinking of the numerous better places you could be, a call comes over the company VHF from a guy who used to fly there (you did his line training) who now flies 777s with BA. He's at Flight Level nosebleed en route LHR to Jo'burg. He tells you he's just had his First Class meal and he's going to sleep in a 5 Star hotel with the trolley dolly who served it. You tell him you're busy and have to go off frequency.
You land, go straight to the bar, down a cold one and contemplate your navel.........
Nigerian In Law
I've just finished reading "Shadows - Airlift & Airwar in Biafra & Nigeria 1967-70" by Michael I. Draper. Very interesting from all aspects, especially aviation (obviously !).
New a couple of Canadian pilots who flew there. Connies I recall...they had some interesting stories..some very funny..some not so funny.
Just ordered the book.
Just ordered the book.
Last edited by albatross; 28th Jul 2017 at 20:18.
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As someone who was there, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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You're at the capital of the second poorest nation on earth, at the only tarmac runway in the entire country. You request engine start and are denied. You are informed that you are waiting on a VIP. You're a Captain for the National airline of the neighboring country. The Finance minister of the 2nd poorest nation in the world is the "VIP". You take the hand mike with great pomp and tell the tower that you're a scheduled airline and do not wait for "VIP", especially from a country that doesn't own your aircraft or pay your salary. After several pointless and ridiculous radio communication efforts aimed at operational integrity and international diplomacy, a fleet of donated LandCruisers tear across the apron, between Chinese turboprops and deposit the "Minister" beneath your window. His excellencies disembarkation from white Toyota takes a further 10 minutes. You get up, walk to the door and with even greater pomp, close the door as the "delegation" approaches your aircraft. They seem to have gotten the message at this point and politely knock on the main entry door. Delay code=airport congestion🙄
Nigerian In Law
Nigerian In Law
No, I don't do F**book. I'm in a Whatsapp group with a bunch of guys (some of whom are also in that F**book group), who used to work on the North Sea and in Nigeria (I reckon you would know the guy who did my 212 conversion).
We all meet up from time to time at different locations to drink a lot a talk a load of.
I did 25 years with Bristow straight from 15 years in the Army. Sheltered life.......
We all meet up from time to time at different locations to drink a lot a talk a load of
.I did 25 years with Bristow straight from 15 years in the Army. Sheltered life.......
Last edited by Nigerian Expat Outlaw; 29th Jul 2017 at 21:47. Reason: Told yer, carnt spell.
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I heard an amusing story once (I don't know if it's in that book) from a Saffir who flew Constellations into Biafra (from Sao Tome?). All their work was at night with no lights. The Nigerians had MiGs that would do patrols to look for them, no particular night-fighting capabilities just 'see if you can see something'. One of their Saffir mates (Charlie Somebody) got a job flying those MiGs. Through a 'common contact' they managed to agree a mutual VHF frequency. Charlie would always do his patrols with his nav lights on. If they saw a set of nav lights in the sky, the Saffir Connie pilots would quickly dial up this frequency and transmit " off Charlie" and would watch the nav lights turn away...!!
Only in Africa!
off Charlie" and would watch the nav lights turn away...!!Only in Africa!
Nigerian In Law
Sitting in your office counting notes by hand to pay the local monthly wages, you've brought one of those sponge pad things that bank tellers used to have to keep your fingertips moist, but in the heat it's dried out. So for the sake of expediency you dab your finger tip on your tongue.
Three days later you're in the local clinic (apparently a German trained doctor runs it), with a massively swollen tongue and throat. Herr Doktor prescribes Penicillin.
Two days after starting the course you're lying naked on your bed with a fan blowing directly onto you. Your skin is covered in hives and you're delirious. He's overdosed you, resulting in a lifelong allergy to Penicillin.
Ho Hum....... Luckily Amoxicillin works just as well. Turns out the Doctor did a correspondence course purchased in Germany but graduated in Nigeria.
Three days later you're in the local clinic (apparently a German trained doctor runs it), with a massively swollen tongue and throat. Herr Doktor prescribes Penicillin.
Two days after starting the course you're lying naked on your bed with a fan blowing directly onto you. Your skin is covered in hives and you're delirious. He's overdosed you, resulting in a lifelong allergy to Penicillin.
Ho Hum....... Luckily Amoxicillin works just as well. Turns out the Doctor did a correspondence course purchased in Germany but graduated in Nigeria.
Last edited by Nigerian Expat Outlaw; 1st Aug 2017 at 12:13.
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Re: flights into Biafra
The MIG pilot was the legendary Charles Viviers. Ex SAAF and a hooligan of note. He was my first instructor & regaled me with many of these stories. He had also done a stint in the Congo flying for Katanga. After the Biafran war was over he came back to SA with all the MIG21 flight manuals and a list of the Russian pilots that were being sent to Angola to bolster the communist faction of the new regime about to take over with new Russian aircraft. The SA authorities apparently showed him the door. He set up a flight school in Windhoek which was a bit of a dull occupation after his other exploits. He eventually ended up fish spotting off the West Cost of SA. I last met up with him Cape Town where he had just been questioned by the security police for recruitment of mercenaries for ops in Angola.
He passed away not long after this. An absolute legend definitely deserving a book or a movie.
The MIG pilot was the legendary Charles Viviers. Ex SAAF and a hooligan of note. He was my first instructor & regaled me with many of these stories. He had also done a stint in the Congo flying for Katanga. After the Biafran war was over he came back to SA with all the MIG21 flight manuals and a list of the Russian pilots that were being sent to Angola to bolster the communist faction of the new regime about to take over with new Russian aircraft. The SA authorities apparently showed him the door. He set up a flight school in Windhoek which was a bit of a dull occupation after his other exploits. He eventually ended up fish spotting off the West Cost of SA. I last met up with him Cape Town where he had just been questioned by the security police for recruitment of mercenaries for ops in Angola.
He passed away not long after this. An absolute legend definitely deserving a book or a movie.
Nigerian In Law
Half way through another interesting book by Kenneth C Ryeland. It's called The Up-Country Man.
The guy was working in Nigeria when Biafra declared it's secession. He was caught between the sides for 100 days.
The guy was working in Nigeria when Biafra declared it's secession. He was caught between the sides for 100 days.
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You fly across 3 continents on 2 different airlines to get to Africa. On both of these "flag" carriers, the cabin crew are fat, rude, uneducated, slovenly and bitter. Upon reaching Africa, you breathe a breath of fresh air. All of "your" cabin crew speak at least 3 languages, are university graduates, fit, trim, attractive, pleasant, grateful and an absolute pleasure to travel the world with.
You fly across 3 continents on 2 different airlines to get to Africa. On both of these "flag" carriers, the cabin crew are fat, rude, uneducated, slovenly and bitter. Upon reaching Africa, you breathe a breath of fresh air. All of "your" cabin crew speak at least 3 languages, are university graduates, fit, trim, attractive, pleasant, grateful and an absolute pleasure to travel the world with.