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What's New In W. Africa (Nigeria)

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What's New In W. Africa (Nigeria)

Old 8th Nov 2010, 08:40
  #4201 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Afrika sometimes
Age: 63
Posts: 219
Thumbs down 5 Expatriates Kidnapped off Akwa Ibom

At 0200 this morning gunmen in speedboats attacked the High Island 7, which arrived recently to start drilling in the Okoro field off the coast of Akwa Ibom. During the attack 2 people received serious gunshot wounds in the legs and were evacuated by helicopter. Five expatriates were abducted by the attackers.
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Old 8th Nov 2010, 08:49
  #4202 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Afrika sometimes
Age: 63
Posts: 219
Just to add to the joy, MEND has just issued another communique saying that they will be launching a series of attacks on oil installations across the Niger Delta in the next few days.
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Old 8th Nov 2010, 11:31
  #4203 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Afrika sometimes
Age: 63
Posts: 219

Reuters reports that the five hostages taken from the High Island VII include 2 French, 2 USA and 1 Canadian. The two people shot in the legs are in a stable condition. The rig is working for Afren.
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Old 8th Nov 2010, 21:52
  #4204 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Afrika sometimes
Age: 63
Posts: 219
Thumbs down

Update on the High Island VII attack:

4 speedboats approached the rig and 8 - 10 men from one boat boarded the rig via a ladder that had been left down (it's not clear if it had been left down intentionally), while the men in the other three boats maintained defensive positions. The gunmen rounded up the rig's crew on the lower deck and separated them into expats and Nigerians. It was during this period that the two men were shot. The hostages were taken away in 3 speedboats and the fourth remained under the helideck until just before sunrise when it also departed.

There has also been a kidnapping onshore in Akwa Ibom state. 2 Indonesians were taken from Efiak village in the early hours of this morning. During the kidnapping 2 people were shot and injured.
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Old 9th Nov 2010, 07:19
  #4205 (permalink)  
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Sussex UK
Age: 63
Posts: 128
The use of the word "SMELL" on this forum only started after the confirmation that Bristow had lost the Shell contract.....that tells a whole story with a probable title "SHOCKER LOSS". You may want to add "DUE TO SHEER ARROGANCE!""

regret to say it was not a shock and as stated before it was a loss leader so although regrettable the contract came to an end, BHL were losing money - not the way we work any more - a sigh of relief is more fitting I believe.
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Old 9th Nov 2010, 11:12
  #4206 (permalink)  
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: In the Haven of Peace
Age: 74
Posts: 597


It seems there was some confusion yesterday and in fact the security agencies got things mixed up. All 7 hostages are in fact Afren employees taken from the HI VII. MEND claims to be holding them all in addition to having taken custody of 1 Thai and 3 Frenchmen kidnapped from French marine service company, Bourbon.

(CNN) -- Hostages from America, France, Candada and Indonesia comprise the group of seven people kidnapped by armed attackers who raided an oil rig off the Nigerian coast, a spokesman for the rig's owner said Tuesday.
London-based Afren PLC said two Indonesians, two Americans, two French and one Canadian were kidnapped. The Indonesians were not included in an earlier tally released by the company.
Two crew members are in stable condition at a shore-based clinic, where they were airlifted after being wounded in the leg.
The rig, located off the southern coast of Nigeria at Okoro field, is run by Transocean.
State Department spokesman P.J. Crowley said the U.S. is in contact with Nigerian officials.
"We [are], of course, concerned about their safety and hope for their immediate release," he said. "We are working with Nigerian authorities ... to pursue their prompt release, and there's an investigation already under way."
Drilling operations in the Okoro field off Nigeria have been temporarily suspended, both companies involved said.
In a news release, Afren said a "security breach" occurred soon after its "High Island VII jackup rig" arrived, but before drilling had commenced.
"The situation has not been resolved. Afren is doing everything it can to resolve the situation as quickly as possible, and it is working with relevant agencies in the Nigerian government," Afren spokesman James Henderson told CNN.
From American WTOK News:

WTOK's statewide network partner, WLOX-TV, reported that a Mississippi oil worker was kidnapped off an oil rig on the Nigerian coast.

Network partner, WLBT-TV, traveled to silver Cree, Miss., in Lawrence County, the home of oil worker James Robertson.

With a population of less than 250 people, news of the kidnapping spread fast.

"I think somebody ought to take care of them, honestly," said resident Larry Smith.

"I never would have thought there would be pirates in 2010," said family friend, Kacey Slocum.

Robertson was on board an oil platform when it was stormed by armed men, who took him and four others captive.

Two other oil workers who were shot were airlifted to a nearby clinic.
Those who know Robertson say they're stunned.

"I know his daughters. They're my age, real nice," said Slocum. "I think he's got seven grandkids. Just a real nice guy. Every time you see him, he speaks to you and says hello, and we just hope he comes home safe and just pray for him."

"I think he's a great person and he's over there doing his job and should be respected than what they're doing to him," Smith said.

Robertson works for the London-based company, Afren PLC. His oil rig is managed by Transocean, the same company that operated the rig tied to the massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

No one has claimed responsibility for the attack, and the company says it's seeking a quick resolution.

"they need to just let him go," Slocum said. "My husband, he works offshore in Brazil and every time he leaves, we're scared to death. I hope they bring him home safe."

At the Robertson's home, family members told this reporter they were told not to talk to the media, by Transocean, and the FBI.

According to the International Maritime Bureau, there were more than 153 vessels that were boarded worldwide in 2009. Forty-nine of those vessels were hijacked and 120 vessels were fired upon. A total of 1052 crew were taken hostage, with 68 injured and 8 killed. The level of violence and injuries has increased throughout the years.
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Old 10th Nov 2010, 18:49
  #4207 (permalink)  
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: The Lonely Planet
Posts: 53
And suddenly the DC guys finds out that they have to pay taxes in Nigeria, not happy about it

1/4 reduction in their salary
Tango123 you may be right, but normally you are not supposed to pay tax to Nigeria when you are in the country less than 183 days in a year, flying on a weat lease on OY- registration and paying tax in your home country.
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Old 10th Nov 2010, 21:23
  #4208 (permalink)  
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 690
Do you mean there are a lot of workovers then?
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Old 11th Nov 2010, 09:50
  #4209 (permalink)  
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Out of Africa
Age: 66
Posts: 229
Paying tax in your own Country?

Sikorsky - do you really mean that you have Scandinavians paying (punitive by most accepted standards) Swedish/Norwegian/Danish/etc. taxes whilst working in Nigeria?

Doesn't that defeat the object of working in Nigeria in the first place?

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Old 11th Nov 2010, 10:27
  #4210 (permalink)  
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 188
I only know the UK tax system, but it seems rather strange that the guys from DC pay taxes in Nigeria, since it should have been a problem between DC management and the Nigerian authorities.

I know no one else working in Nigeria (expats) who have to pay taxes out of their income. What you get is taxfree and the rest is between the company you work for and the Nigerian Tax System.
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Old 11th Nov 2010, 18:13
  #4211 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Afrika sometimes
Age: 63
Posts: 219

Actually, the Nigerian Federal Inland Revenue Service explains it all on their website Welcome to FIRS Individuals

The current law guiding the taxation of personal incomes is the Personal Income Tax Act (Cap P8 LFN 2004). Under the law, Federal and States’ tax boards are empowered to identify persons living in or earning income from Nigeria who are required to pay tax, and to assess incomes and tax their incomes using specified guidelines and rules.

This law also guides the tax official in identifying the residence of potential taxpayers, as well as the sources and origins of their incomes for the purpose of taxing the income.

Two forms of PIT
Two forms of taxes are administered under Act, namely (a) Pay-As-You-Earn (PAYE) i.e. taxes from employment, and (b) taxes from self employed persons.
A. Pay-As-You-Earn

This PAYE Tax Deduction Guide has been prepared to guide Taxpayers in filing their Annual Tax returns and to prepare their Income Tax computations.

2. All taxable persons are required to file their tax returns within 90 days from the beginning of every year and include the amount of tax payable.

3. The Personal Income Tax Act No 104 of 1993 in Section 3(1) lists Incomes that are chargeable to Tax as:-

Ψ Gain or Profit from any trade, business, profession or vocation for whatever period of time such trade, business, profession or vocation may have been carried on or exercised;

Ψ Any salary, wage, fee, allowance or other gain or profit from employment including gratuities, compensations, bonuses, premiums, benefits or other perquisites allowed, given or granted by any person to an employee.

Based on the above provisions of the Law, all Incomes earned by an Individual are liable to be assessed to Tax subject however to the exemptions granted under section 3(1) b (i to xiii) as amended. The details of these exemptions are as stated hereunder:-

4. Exempted Allowances

i. Rent Allowance - Maximum of N150,000 per annum.
ii. Transport Allowance - Maximum of N20,000 per annum.
iii. Utility Allowance - Maximum of N10,000 per annum.
iv. Meal Allowance - Maximum of N5,000 per annum.
v. Entertainment Allowance- Maximum of N6,000 per annum.
vi. Leave Allowance - 10% of Basic Salary per annum.
vii. Disability Allowance - 10% of Earned Income or N3,000
whichever is lower.

5. The Tax Reliefs

i. Personal Allowance - 20% of Earned Income + N5,000.
ii. Children Allowance - N2,500 per child for maximum of
4 Children.
iii. Dependant Relative Allce- N2,000 per Dependant.

iv. Life Assurance - 100% of sum paid (Evidence to
be submitted before this relief can be

v. Interest on Loan in respect of Owner Occupier premises – 100%
Subject to approval of the Board (FIRS).
vi. Pension contribution - 100% of sums paid.

6. Minimum Tax Provision

The minimum tax rate payable is 0.5% for any emoluments below N30,000 per annum earned by an individual in one fiscal year.

7. Chargeable Income then becomes taxable at the following rates:

1st N30,000 @ 5%
Next N30,000 @ 10%
Next N50,000 @ 15%
Next N50,000 @ 20%
Above N160,000 @ 25%

8. The Federal Inland Revenue Service seeks the co-operation of all Taxpayers as filing of their annual tax return is a mandatory requirement under the Personal Income Tax Act Cap. P8 LFN 2004.
(b) Federal Inland Revenue Service also collects Personal Income Taxes of
• Persons employed in the Nigerian Army, the Nigerian Navy, the
Nigerian Air Force and the Nigerian Police other than in a civilian
• Officers of the Nigerian Foreign Service;
• Non-residents who derive income or profit from Nigeria.
So it's quite plain that all individuals having an income from working in Nigeria are subject to tax.

Tango 123,

What you get isn't tax free. In Bristow, for example, all your income is declared to the FIRS and the company then pays your tax so you still receive the amount you are told you'll get. A copy of that tax paid is available to you. CHC operate a similar scheme. Your remaining income is then a matter between you and your own country where it may well be that the fact that your Nigerian tax is paid for you is classed as 'a benefit in kind'. Many of the expatriates working in Nigeria are subject to some form of income tax in their home countries.

normally you are not supposed to pay tax to Nigeria when you are in the country less than 183 days in a year, flying on a weat lease on OY- registration and paying tax in your home country.
I think if you look through the regulations in the link I posted above, there's nothing in the exemptions sections about flying on a wet lease on OY- registration. If your company is leaving it up to meet your legal tax obligations in Nigeria, then maybe you're working for the wrong company or you need to point out to them that other companies pay tax on behalf of their workers.

Here's another explanation which may make it clearer for you

The tax system explained in beer:

When pondering the question of taxes and the structure of our tax
system in general please refer to this explanation using the language
of Beer !!

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all
ten comes to $100.

If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go
something like this;

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1
The sixth would pay $3
The seventh would pay $7
The eighth would pay $12
The ninth would pay $18
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59

So, that's what they decided to do.

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with
the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve ball.

"Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to
reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20". Drinks for the ten men
would now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes.

So the first four men were unaffected.

They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men
- the paying customers?

How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get
his fair share?

They realised that $20 divided by six is $3.33.
But if theysubtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth
man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.

So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each
man's bill by a higher percentage the poorer he was, to follow
theprinciple of the tax system they had been using, and he proceeded
to work out the amounts he suggested that each should now pay.

And so the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing
(100% saving).

The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% saving).

The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28% saving).

The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% saving).

The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% saving).

The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% saving).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four
continued to drink for free. But, once outside the bar, the men began
to compare their savings.

"I only got a dollar out of the $20 saving," declared the sixth man.

He pointed to the tenth man, "but he got $10!"

"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a
dollar too. It's unfair that he got ten times more benefit than me!"

"That's true!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10
back, when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks!"

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison, "we didn't
get anything at all. This new tax system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the
nine sat down and had their beers without him. But when it came time
to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have
enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and government ministers, is
how our tax system works.

The people who already pay the highest taxes will naturally get
the most benefit from a tax reduction.

Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just
may not show up anymore.

In fact, they might start drinking overseas, where the atmosphere
is somewhat friendlier.

For those who understand, no explanation is needed.
For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.
TomBola is offline  
Old 13th Nov 2010, 14:14
  #4212 (permalink)  
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: retirementland
Age: 74
Posts: 765
I see two more Bristow crew have jumped ship to get the better pay deal at Caverton.
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Old 13th Nov 2010, 16:57
  #4213 (permalink)  
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: the milky way
Posts: 7

Why do you keep feeding us with all such wrong information (acceptable in a rumour network actually). I am sorry I am going to disagree with you on that: THE NUMBER IS FOUR!!!
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Old 13th Nov 2010, 19:05
  #4214 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Romania
Age: 36
Posts: 19
I see two more Bristow crew have jumped ship to get the better pay deal at Caverton.
how much "better"?
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Old 13th Nov 2010, 19:34
  #4215 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Afrika sometimes
Age: 63
Posts: 219

I see two more Bristow crew have jumped ship to get the better pay deal at Caverton
.... said a disinterested observer from the sidelines

As with all of your kind from the oil companies you are totally amoral . What would you know of what different helicopter companies pay? The only pay scales Caverton have are 'whatever anybody else is paying + $1,000 per month .... for now. Caverton started with very few Nigerian pilots and now, thanks to all the backhanders they have received from Shell, they are just paying to steal what decent companies with morals have done to comply with the rules. Show me documentary evidence of one single pilot Caverton has paid to sponsor through pilot training to comply with the NCD . Don't give me any BS about how they're a new company either: they've been on the scene as a minor, disreputable, player of dubious origins for more than 5 years now

Shell is another company which drives prices down (as it has for years) to get everything as cheaply as possible whilst coming up with a lot of psyco-babble BS about 7/7=1 (so does 1.46X6*3.542/1.46X6*3.542, but who cares, it's just more meaningless BS) and yet idiots like you babble on about how everyone should be operating PC2E when if you really want your illusion of twin-engined safety you should be demanding PC1 at all times and paying for it you amoral, hypocritical little twerp. And don't start telling us all again how Shell only has the interests of advancing the cause of humanity and all your other corporate mind games. Shell has blood on its hands from its complicity in the involvement in the state murder of the environmental activist, journalist and TV producer Kenule Beeson Saro Wiwa 15 years ago, but I suppose the $15.5 million paid in blood money to the Saro Wiwa family was peanuts to the world's largest corporation in order to try and brush things under the carpet and keep things quiet . Well, people like myself who knew Ken will never let things like this be forgotten and as long as the internet survives, corporations like yours will never be able to silence our voices You deserve companies like Caverton operating for you - you are two hearts beating as one, but those of us with even a hint of morals or scruples would never wish to be beholden to you or your ilk again . Now come back and retort in your mis-spelled nonsense, how Ken was a terrorist as evidenced by his rightful trial, sentencing and murder and deserved what he got for sabotaging Shell pipelines in Ogoniland

NGOs and BBC targeted by Shell

Secret internal company documents from the oil giant Shell show that in the immediate aftermath of the execution of the Nigerian activist and writer Ken Saro-Wiwa it adopted a PR strategy of cosying up to key BBC editors and singling out NGOs that it hoped to "sway".

The documents offer a previously hidden insight into efforts by the company to deflect the PR storm that engulfed it after the Nigerian activist was hanged by the country's military government. Shell faced accusations that it had colluded with the government over the activists' deaths.

In June last year, the company paid $15.5m to settle a legal action over the deaths in a federal court in New York without admitting liability. It was one of the largest payouts agreed by a multinational corporation charged with human rights violations.

The documents – which were part of this legal case but were never made public – describe the company's "crisis management strategy and plan". This was finalised by Shell's senior executives at a secret meeting in Ascot in January 1996, two months after Saro-Wiwa's death. The strategy was described as "most confidential".

In a similar move to Tony Blair's re-branding of the Labour party, the executives considered renaming the oil company "New Shell" in an effort to shake off some of the recent bad publicity.

Saro-Wiwa had been a vocal critic of Shell's activities in the Niger Delta and of the Nigerian military government. His hanging 15 years ago on 10 November 1995 prompted international outrage and a public backlash against Shell. The executions led to Nigeria's suspension from the Commonwealth for three years.

The company's "crisis plan" focused on what the documents refer to as "the message" and getting the "style, tone, content and timing right, reflecting greater humanity". Philip Watts, who would later become Shell chairman, emphasised that everyone must "sing to the same 'hymn sheet'."

The documents outline a tactic of divide and rule, where Shell planned to work with some of its critics but isolate others. Under the "occupying new ground" scenario, the document detail how Shell would "create coalitions, isolate the opposition and shift the debate."

Dividing NGOs into friends and foes, Shell emphasised the need to "work with [and] sway 'middle of the road' activists". The Body Shop, Greenpeace and Friends of the Earth were seen as unlikely to change their position. One suggested tactic to counter these organisations was to "challenge [the] basis on which they continue their campaign against Shell in order to make it more difficult for them to sustain it". Human rights organisations such as Amnesty International and Human Rights Watch were seen as more easily persuaded. The document suggests building relationships with the organisations and encouraging "buy-in to the complexity of the issue".

Another key group Shell was interested in winning over was the press. The documents complain that the media was too willing to report the views of pressure groups. It wanted to generate media coverage showing " 'the other version' of events/issues". Other company documents identified which media outlets would be targeted. It said that "stable relationships" had already been established with the Financial Times, Daily Telegraph, Times, and the Independent.

The BBC was one of the organisations singled out by Shell's PR department. One of the documents reveal that "relationships are underdeveloped" with the BBC World Service. It continues: "We will identify and cultivate important editorial and senior management staff through a contact programme." In particular they wanted to "build a relationship" with journalist Hilary Andersson, who had recently become the BBC's Lagos correspondent, as well as "any of her known contacts in the divisions".

The documents also noted that "showing progress with the 'greening of Shell Nigeria'" was "strategically critical" after Saro-Wiwa's death. Although elsewhere, the documents acknowledge that the strategy may not be seen as genuine. "Our present communications strategy could be construed as green imagery" the authors wrote.

To improve its green image, the company had to counter accusations of "environmental devastation", so Shell planned to produce a video "to publicise successes" and "to turn the negative tide". The most important topic to be included in the film was "oil spills generally, focusing on sabotage." This would have had the effect of playing up the impact of illegal activity in causing oil spill pollution in the delta, but in another document, the head of Shell Nigeria, N A Achebe, had acknowledged internally that "the majority of incidents arise from operational failures".

The documents even reveal that Shell discussed whether it should stay in the country in the wake of Saro-Wiwa's death. One scenario was called "milking the cow", whereas the "pull-out" scenario was seen as "giving in" or "caving in" which would set a "very negative precedent for the group". Another reason for not leaving was that "issues of liability will not disappear even with a total withdrawal."

A spokesperson said that the company's environmental record had improved greatly in recent years. "The total number of spills in 2009 was 132, against the average between 2005 and 2009 of 175 per year. Thieves or saboteurs spilled about 103,000 barrels from [Shell Petroleum Development Company] facilities in 95 incidents – an average of one spill every four days. This accounted for almost 98% of the volume of oil spilled during the year." The company declined to comment on its PR strategy in 1995.

The spokesperson continued: "Whatever the cause, SPDC is committed to stopping and containing all spills, recovering and cleaning up as much oil as it can and restoring sites in compliance with regulations."

But Nnimmo Bassey, Executive Director of Environmental Rights Action and chair of Friends of the Earth International said the company had not changed and were still not doing enough to help local people in the Niger Delta. "Internationally they polish their image. The claims they make in the international areas, do not stand scrutiny on the ground."

• This article was amended on 11 November 2010. The original referred to a secret meeting in Ascot in January 1995. This has been corrected.
In March Barack Obama's argument for tougher international trade sanctions against Iran and its lucrative oil industry was brutally simple. "The long-term consequences of a nuclear-armed Iran are unacceptable," he said.

The UN, EU and US Congress seemed to agree, passing into law fresh restrictions in June and July aimed at frustrating Iran's economic development and inhibiting its crude oil exports of 2.2bn barrels-a-day, representing 80% of all its trade abroad.

In response, the rhetoric from Iran's president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, was colourful; he belittled this summer's UN resolution on sanctions as "a used hanky that should be thrown in the dustbin".

Nevertheless, the latest moves seemed to be working for Obama and other leaders worried about the intent of Iran's uranium enrichment and possible wish to build a nuclear bomb. Exports of crude, which fill the coffers of the Iranian government and so are important for a nuclear programme, have reportedly dropped as big firms, including BP and Reliance Industries of India, have ceased buying altogether.

So why, according to sensitive trading records seen by the Guardian, did other European oil giants, including Shell, Total and API, increase their purchases?
Now tell me (in a badly spelt reply) about your corporate philosophy on Class 1 operations and moral superiority.

Snide on luke,

Willem, just for once SM is correct. 2 idiotic misguided souls initially left and now another 2 have decided to make a decision to embrace the ethics of a morally bankrupt organisation for short-term financial gain.

The only thing I have to say in the defence of either of you, is that Bristow is utterly useless at responding to situations such as this in a timely manner and has now left it so late that in a matter of months they will be grounding helicopters because of lack of crew and if they are not careful (quite likely) will end up in the same boat as CHC/Aero both as quickly and unexpectedly as CHC has done. The old days of Alan Bristow, Bob Schreiner and the like are long gone and the only loyalty is to a pay cheque. Such (sadly) is the new order and Bristow are now the lowest payer in Nigeria. I am 100% certain that they will eventually come up with a too-little-too-late package which will leave them with a disgruntled work force and egg on their faces - some things never change . I'll never join the likes of Caverton, but I may leave Nigeria

TomBola (and others),

It has been pointed out many times that Shell Management is not a representative of Shell nor of their management, and generally only posts in order to get a reaction. Usually quite successfully!

The references to Shell or Caverton by 'misspelling' their names is just childish and below what we'd expect from Rotorheads. Maybe a little more subtlety would achieve a better result


As these are anonymous forums the origins of the contributions may be opposite to what may be apparent. In fact the press may use it, or the unscrupulous, or sciolists*, to elicit certain reactions.

Senior Pilot

Last edited by TomBola; 13th Nov 2010 at 20:24.
TomBola is offline  
Old 15th Nov 2010, 16:49
  #4216 (permalink)  
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: the milky way
Posts: 7
Unhappy Mayday! Mayday!! Mayday!!!

Copilot: Checklist Complete Captain!
Captain: Make the call
Copilot: Pan! Pan!! Pan!!! Bristow Nigeria, loss of Nigerian engine.
ATC: Bristow Nigeria confirm you are declaring an emergency! Please state position, intention and POB.
Copilot: Captain what's the plan...
Captain: Tell them we'll continue to Houston: the expat engine should carry us... we'll [email protected]#king fix the Nigerian one in Houston. Damn I have always known the Nigerian engine would quit! But not on a flight across the Atlantic especially on our way to fixing it....Screw these mechanics...they gave me their assurances.....
Copilot: Err we're somewhere between Aberdeen and Houston, intention is to continue with our expat engine....we're two and half souls (actually the third person may be considered half a soul....he's not been of much use since we lost the engine)
ATC: Copy will relay to Houston.....
Copilot: Captain! Shit!....we're loosing...errrr the oil pressure on the live(expat) engine...check RPM too low...take action
CAptain: What?
Copilot: Engine chip warning lights! We're loosing the other engine, Nooooo the CWP is all lit up like a Christmas tree! Enter autorotation....Enter autorotation now!!! I mean lower the collective!!!
Captain: Please dont blame me its been a year i did this in the SIM.....ok
Copilot: MAyday! Mayday!! Mayday!!! Bristow Nigeria....the expat engine just quit on us....autorotating...
Captain: Call me altitude! Altitude please!
Coplilot:3000' and 2300fpm ROD, check RPM too high..... 1000' check speed.
Captain: Correcting! F$%k! We're gonna get a lot of heat for acceptin this ship
Copilot: Thats if we survive.... check speed... OMG the ground is approaching soooo quick! Holy Mary, full of grace, pray for us sinners now and at the our of.....
Captain: Close ur eyes: if you still feel pain in three secs time, you probably have made it...
Copilot: Thousand and one.....thousand and two....

..........And the Bristow Nigeria saga continues........
sidon look is offline  
Old 16th Nov 2010, 07:32
  #4217 (permalink)  
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Sussex UK
Age: 63
Posts: 128
Glad to see the more mentally challenged are still posting their moronic gibberings. I suspect you thought you were being clever - however it just shows your lack of grasp of the english language and your obvious attempt at wit.

Failed !!!!
Ainippe is offline  
Old 16th Nov 2010, 09:20
  #4218 (permalink)  
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Long way south
Age: 55
Posts: 28
au contrair,after the pages of anti shell dribble,this one was a bit lighter and definitely entertaining,well done sidon look,go to the top of the class and jump off
CopterDoctor is offline  
Old 18th Nov 2010, 15:34
  #4219 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Salisbury, England
Age: 68
Posts: 100
Information please

Hardly in keeping with the name of the thread but I can't think of another forum where such a fountain of knowledge exists..... No, really.

Question (as Johannes Krippner used to say), around the turn of the century a Bell 212 landed at the PH IA having suffered a fracture of a MR blade grip lower tang on finals (or possibly even in the 'flare').

When and what aircraft?


Alan Biles is offline  
Old 18th Nov 2010, 15:53
  #4220 (permalink)  
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Dubai
Posts: 349
Hi Alan,

JU, photo dates 1 July 2000, though not necessarily the actual day it happened, but probably pretty close


Thridle Op Des is offline  

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