What's New In W. Africa (Nigeria)
Join Date: Sep 2008
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Toppest 92 people
Can we be serious now?
We hear, Foamy, that your HR wonderkids have 100 or more chaps and chapesses on, or going through S-92 training. Some in the West Palm in the States, some in Farnborough, UK.
Someone mentioned that there is no rush for Nigeria, and now as a result the Nigerian S-92 is plying the Scotch routes offshore Scatsta.
This has been confirmed as true. So, no contract yet?
We hear, Foamy, that your HR wonderkids have 100 or more chaps and chapesses on, or going through S-92 training. Some in the West Palm in the States, some in Farnborough, UK.
Someone mentioned that there is no rush for Nigeria, and now as a result the Nigerian S-92 is plying the Scotch routes offshore Scatsta.
This has been confirmed as true. So, no contract yet?
Join Date: Feb 2004
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Floatiest S92
Monsieur Ponk,
Contract or not (and supposedly it is yet again........... imminent) I hope they will have repacked the floats before it starts the ferry flight - c'est loin avec ces grands ballons non?
Contract or not (and supposedly it is yet again........... imminent) I hope they will have repacked the floats before it starts the ferry flight - c'est loin avec ces grands ballons non?
CHC 225's????
What is happening to the 2 x 225's for CHC(in Aero colours) for Nigeria sitting in France since May?
If they don't want them in Nigeria several other operations in the CHC group will gladly snap them up.
If they don't want them in Nigeria several other operations in the CHC group will gladly snap them up.
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225s enroute
I hear they are due to leave Marseille in the next few days, into Lagos by the end of the month.
Nice trip - coastline on the right to Gibraltar -coastline on the left to Nigeria :-) At least that is how I'd like to do it... who needs GPS?!
Nice trip - coastline on the right to Gibraltar -coastline on the left to Nigeria :-) At least that is how I'd like to do it... who needs GPS?!
Join Date: Aug 2008
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Unions - No Wahallah!
Can we have a union, me and Soggy Boxers and all the other toppest ex-parts?
Catpain Chuckies - of courses you fine mens can have Union. It is no longer problems since Scotch Bosses have decreed that will no longer "pay any heed to these loons" and discussions will only take place every 3 years! But take care O - if you try to "stir up the unwashed messes" you may end up as Assistant Float Plane Rope Catcher at the Lekki pontoon!
Murderous Punk,
We hear, Foamy, that your HR wonderkids have 100 or more chaps and chapesses on, or going through S-92 training. Some in the West Palm in the States, some in Farnborough, UK.
Someone mentioned that there is no rush for Nigeria, and now as a result the Nigerian S-92 is plying the Scotch routes offshore Scatsta.
This has been confirmed as true. So, no contract yet?
Someone mentioned that there is no rush for Nigeria, and now as a result the Nigerian S-92 is plying the Scotch routes offshore Scatsta.
This has been confirmed as true. So, no contract yet?
We in HR keep these secrets closed in our chest so stop this fishing now!
You and Blackhawk Down Under must wait for our Master Plan to be reviled.
And Juan
c'est loin avec ces grands ballons non?
We love you Froggy peoples - Une femme avec les grands ballons est mieux quand il fait froid dehors! N'est ce pas?
This is what my girlfriend from Niamey with the fine ballons and nyash tells me!
F.C.
Join Date: Apr 2003
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Problems...
Mrs chuks just heard a rumour that the girls in Lagos are hot-hot-hot like monkey pepper soup. Probably just started by some jealous helicopter pilot, but you know how women are! Now she wants me to stay right where I am, Cabin Number 37, Burning Sands Airstrip, East Nowhere, Algeria.
It would help very much if you, Mr Coolings, could please inform her that your company works to ISO 9001 Standards which totally preclude any sort of jiggy-jiggy on the part of toppest floor staff such as I hope to be.
I already pointed out to her the way the Page 3 girls from "Punch, The Paper for Lively Minds" had their pointy bits blacked out years ago by small-minded mens with black markers plus the way that naughty movie Boogie Nights was banned despite large outbreaks of roadside cannibalism in our very own Centre of Excrements but the miserable woman is screeching like a fishwife plus flailing away at my bonce with one high-quality German frying pan every time I float the idea of a return to my second home.
We Oyingbo are not the mastahs you Yoruba are and I need help, otherwise there shall be one empty office on that toppest floor and no one to applaud your memos, laugh at your jokes and carry your bag to the Vee-boot at the end of the short working day.
"No condition is permanent," okay, but this domestic life is lasting very, very long.
It would help very much if you, Mr Coolings, could please inform her that your company works to ISO 9001 Standards which totally preclude any sort of jiggy-jiggy on the part of toppest floor staff such as I hope to be.
I already pointed out to her the way the Page 3 girls from "Punch, The Paper for Lively Minds" had their pointy bits blacked out years ago by small-minded mens with black markers plus the way that naughty movie Boogie Nights was banned despite large outbreaks of roadside cannibalism in our very own Centre of Excrements but the miserable woman is screeching like a fishwife plus flailing away at my bonce with one high-quality German frying pan every time I float the idea of a return to my second home.
We Oyingbo are not the mastahs you Yoruba are and I need help, otherwise there shall be one empty office on that toppest floor and no one to applaud your memos, laugh at your jokes and carry your bag to the Vee-boot at the end of the short working day.
"No condition is permanent," okay, but this domestic life is lasting very, very long.
Nigerian In Law
chuks,
Why not try for oil company Aviation Advisor ? They just criticise (something I recall you had a knack for) and they pay real pilot wages........... Imagine being able to order all those helicopter pilots around, just for the sake of it ?
You won't get the chance to sample any cheeky girls either as being born again is an interview pre-requisite.
NEO
Why not try for oil company Aviation Advisor ? They just criticise (something I recall you had a knack for) and they pay real pilot wages........... Imagine being able to order all those helicopter pilots around, just for the sake of it ?
You won't get the chance to sample any cheeky girls either as being born again is an interview pre-requisite.
NEO
Join Date: Apr 2003
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Ooh-ooh!
Dear Mr NEO,
I am sweating with anticipation. No, drooling! Okay, both! What a mess! Give me a minute to mop my brow and adjust my bib... Okay, back in business. (As some famous Frog once said, "Old age is a ship-wreck!")
Tiny grains of suspicion are grating in the mind of chuks: If this is such a good deal why has not the famous NEO done one of his "rat up a drainpipe" numbers and already materialised as said Advisor like so many of our Bristow brothers? Is there something about this you are not telling me?
"Born again"? What be dis ting? Is this like "funny handshake with one pants leg rolled up", another career-enhancer I never got sorted?
I can quote chapter and verse from King James Bible no problem to the point where one might be unwisely tempted to let me hold billfold while going in for a swim-results not guaranteed. Will that do or must I go on to speaking in tongues and fondling serpents? Surely writing memos in true management style counts as speaking in tongues and anyone who has spent much time in a Nigerian bar has fondled or been fondled by a few serpents so I guess I am already there.
I would love to be giving of the helps and advices to my rotary-wing brothers especially because of my totally original approach to this form of aviation thanks to a rather profound and all-encompassing ignorance of same. Not just confusion but ignorance too and all for one low-low price.
Please send address for applications soonest.
I am sweating with anticipation. No, drooling! Okay, both! What a mess! Give me a minute to mop my brow and adjust my bib... Okay, back in business. (As some famous Frog once said, "Old age is a ship-wreck!")
Tiny grains of suspicion are grating in the mind of chuks: If this is such a good deal why has not the famous NEO done one of his "rat up a drainpipe" numbers and already materialised as said Advisor like so many of our Bristow brothers? Is there something about this you are not telling me?
"Born again"? What be dis ting? Is this like "funny handshake with one pants leg rolled up", another career-enhancer I never got sorted?
I can quote chapter and verse from King James Bible no problem to the point where one might be unwisely tempted to let me hold billfold while going in for a swim-results not guaranteed. Will that do or must I go on to speaking in tongues and fondling serpents? Surely writing memos in true management style counts as speaking in tongues and anyone who has spent much time in a Nigerian bar has fondled or been fondled by a few serpents so I guess I am already there.
I would love to be giving of the helps and advices to my rotary-wing brothers especially because of my totally original approach to this form of aviation thanks to a rather profound and all-encompassing ignorance of same. Not just confusion but ignorance too and all for one low-low price.
Please send address for applications soonest.
Join Date: Apr 2008
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Wimps!
Overspeed,
Way before GPS we used to just fly straight down to Lagos through the Sahara - took about 6 - 7 days from the UK in a 212. (Unless you were ex Army and took twice as long!)
Typical Route: -
Redhill - La Rochelle (Great Seafood) - Palma - Algiers - Ins Salah - Tamanrasset - Agadez - Niamey - Lagos.
Whatever happened to D.R.?
Trog
p.s. I know politics in Algeria now rule out this route!
Nice trip - coastline on the right to Gibraltar -coastline on the left to Nigeria :-) At least that is how I'd like to do it... who needs GPS?!
Typical Route: -
Redhill - La Rochelle (Great Seafood) - Palma - Algiers - Ins Salah - Tamanrasset - Agadez - Niamey - Lagos.
Whatever happened to D.R.?
Trog
p.s. I know politics in Algeria now rule out this route!
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Back in 1968 we flew a WS55/3 G-AODP from Redhill to Lagos, the long way around the coast, it took over 60 hrs flying time, I still have the dent in my head from the old heavy headset as a souvenir!
Very interesting ferry flight, some of the legs were over 5 1/2 hrs., but sadly, the old girl only lasted 3 weeks in Nigeria, flying the route, Warri-PH-Bonney and return, before being crashed near Ughelli.
Some of you old timers may be interested in a picture of the wreck, in which myself, Bill Petrie, and Lambert Abali appear, its in the book 'Shadows', the history of the Biafra airlift.
Another picture shows Bristow's Riley Dove in the school playing field at Uli, taken by myself.
Very interesting ferry flight, some of the legs were over 5 1/2 hrs., but sadly, the old girl only lasted 3 weeks in Nigeria, flying the route, Warri-PH-Bonney and return, before being crashed near Ughelli.
Some of you old timers may be interested in a picture of the wreck, in which myself, Bill Petrie, and Lambert Abali appear, its in the book 'Shadows', the history of the Biafra airlift.
Another picture shows Bristow's Riley Dove in the school playing field at Uli, taken by myself.
Did not Swordstick Tommy cross the Sahara both North/South and East/West in a Whirlwind for BHL? Seems I recall that story from one of the Chequers Late Night Staff Meetings.
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Trog,
For you I know flying wiffout GPS was the good life - But as a claim to fame is parmount to have seen the great Wildebeest migration before the days of the rundapest when the dead sea was still only sick.......the British Empire had an Emperor albeit he spoke Latinus maximus and coffee at BRC was free.
aaaaaahhhh the good old days when plonking a sick helicopter in the drink was considered "Good show old chap" and nobody needed a shot of Blooo compressed carbon to confirm he was a man amongst men.
Well Aeros 225's polished and shiny will be here next week in time to watch BHNL officially start the 1st official Agbamivichikov DW runs and maybe - one day- the great nnnnnnnnnnninetytwo will make an appearance. They have a dream!!!!!!!
PS If Martin Luther had had a job instead of a dream, he may still be alive today!!!!!!
For you I know flying wiffout GPS was the good life - But as a claim to fame is parmount to have seen the great Wildebeest migration before the days of the rundapest when the dead sea was still only sick.......the British Empire had an Emperor albeit he spoke Latinus maximus and coffee at BRC was free.
aaaaaahhhh the good old days when plonking a sick helicopter in the drink was considered "Good show old chap" and nobody needed a shot of Blooo compressed carbon to confirm he was a man amongst men.Well Aeros 225's polished and shiny will be here next week in time to watch BHNL officially start the 1st official Agbamivichikov DW runs and maybe - one day- the great nnnnnnnnnnninetytwo will make an appearance. They have a dream!!!!!!!
PS If Martin Luther had had a job instead of a dream, he may still be alive today!!!!!!
Nigerian In Law
Trog,
You need to change the bulb in that swinging lamp for a low power energy efficient version mate, these nostalgic journeys will only end in tears of frustration as those days are definitely gone forever.
The powers that be would only approve a ferry flight if it's cheaper than dismantling the aircraft and shipping it on a RoRo to Tin Can Island with Tokunbo cars these days. And the cost will have been calculated to the Kobo so no sharing out the leftovers at journey's end.
Which reminds me, the sandbags are getting pretty flat. I'll need to hire a jobless would-be militant area boy for N1,000 a day to refill them so the youngsters don't get piles when listening to war stories.
NEO
You need to change the bulb in that swinging lamp for a low power energy efficient version mate, these nostalgic journeys will only end in tears of frustration as those days are definitely gone forever.
The powers that be would only approve a ferry flight if it's cheaper than dismantling the aircraft and shipping it on a RoRo to Tin Can Island with Tokunbo cars these days. And the cost will have been calculated to the Kobo so no sharing out the leftovers at journey's end.
Which reminds me, the sandbags are getting pretty flat. I'll need to hire a jobless would-be militant area boy for N1,000 a day to refill them so the youngsters don't get piles when listening to war stories.
NEO
Join Date: Apr 2008
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Killjoy NEO
Sorry O!
After the last few weeks of "Doom and Gloom in West Africa" I thought a little tad of nostalgia was just the medecine to bring the chaps off suicide watch!
I have been scanning my e mails and watching the horizon eagerly for the Factrice in her little yellow van to bring my invite to the "New Darrels Olympic Size Pool and BBQ" opening party to no avail. There is obviously no light on the horizon to drag us out of our misery.
At least you Darrels Boys will soon have the "Ritolin Kid" to do all your flying for you since he has been lured by your higher CLA and as many Idoho sardine sandwiches as he can fit in his jock strap - you will need those sandbags refilled pretty sharpish so the old boys have somewhere to hold the "Suppository Swap Club" meetings while he is doing their flying!
Just make sure he is not a distant relative of anyone on the payroll and that all correct income tax deductions are made at source or you could have a visit from another bunch of born again Zealots from the Hurricane Alley COBI Office!
Trog
After the last few weeks of "Doom and Gloom in West Africa" I thought a little tad of nostalgia was just the medecine to bring the chaps off suicide watch!
I have been scanning my e mails and watching the horizon eagerly for the Factrice in her little yellow van to bring my invite to the "New Darrels Olympic Size Pool and BBQ" opening party to no avail. There is obviously no light on the horizon to drag us out of our misery.
At least you Darrels Boys will soon have the "Ritolin Kid" to do all your flying for you since he has been lured by your higher CLA and as many Idoho sardine sandwiches as he can fit in his jock strap - you will need those sandbags refilled pretty sharpish so the old boys have somewhere to hold the "Suppository Swap Club" meetings while he is doing their flying!
I'll need to hire a jobless would-be militant area boy for N1,000 a day to refill them so the youngsters don't get piles when listening to war stories.
Just make sure he is not a distant relative of anyone on the payroll and that all correct income tax deductions are made at source or you could have a visit from another bunch of born again Zealots from the Hurricane Alley COBI Office!
Trog
I Try To Be Good !!
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NEO Has A Point
Trog,
I think NEO was trying to say that Kleenex assisted trips into the past only make those who remember those days feel worse about how things are now !!
I think NEO was trying to say that Kleenex assisted trips into the past only make those who remember those days feel worse about how things are now !!
Trogs,
After the staff built swimming pool was bulldozed over during the widening of the Eket airstrip.....and the company promised to build a new pool at the exquiste Ekpan estate....why should the pool at Darrels be an issue?
One Pool, One Company, One Time!
Is it true the parrot out by the pool called Murdoch a w@nker?
After the staff built swimming pool was bulldozed over during the widening of the Eket airstrip.....and the company promised to build a new pool at the exquiste Ekpan estate....why should the pool at Darrels be an issue?
One Pool, One Company, One Time!
Is it true the parrot out by the pool called Murdoch a w@nker?
Join Date: Apr 2008
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Murdocks' a W@nker!
SASless,
At the risk of being accused of incurable nostalgia by NEO & GMIA - absolutely true!
Led by Wally P. just about everyone on the Operation spent a whole month while J.M. was on leave ensuring that they never passed Bertie's cage without uttering "M's a W@nker" at least a dozen times. The African Grey Parrot picked this up in no time and when J.M. returned from leave and approached the cage was met with the immortal lines.
Give J.M. his due - all he said was "I suppose you realise Bertie that you are now never going to meet Mrs. M!"
OK that's it - back to suicide watch!
Trog
At the risk of being accused of incurable nostalgia by NEO & GMIA - absolutely true!
Led by Wally P. just about everyone on the Operation spent a whole month while J.M. was on leave ensuring that they never passed Bertie's cage without uttering "M's a W@nker" at least a dozen times. The African Grey Parrot picked this up in no time and when J.M. returned from leave and approached the cage was met with the immortal lines.
Give J.M. his due - all he said was "I suppose you realise Bertie that you are now never going to meet Mrs. M!"
OK that's it - back to suicide watch!
Trog
I was taking off from Agadir-GMAD on the 25 sept. when I saw 2 x EC225 with AERO colors landing, next day I found them in Las Palmas-GCLP.
They must be in Nigeria by now?
Also we met a Bristow S76 in Tanger-GMTT.
It was my first flying in Africa, "interesting" at least.
Regards
Aser
Nigerian In Law
CLA: A Thought
One cannot help but wonder what our Bristow bretheren (that's a Masonic term by the way) on the North Sea would do if any of their allowances were cut/changed unilaterally the way CLA was in Nigeria ? Go to BALPA ? Vote with their feet ? Whatever action they took (if any), it would be done with solidarity following an open ballot or poll with no fear of reprisals.
COBI says nobody can be shafted for doing such things but with no representation there is little chance of any tangible action, just the usual crew room and bar rumour and moaner mongering.
Don't get me wrong, no blame intended.
Food for thought.
NEO
COBI says nobody can be shafted for doing such things but with no representation there is little chance of any tangible action, just the usual crew room and bar rumour and moaner mongering.
Don't get me wrong, no blame intended.
Food for thought.
NEO
Last edited by Nigerian Expat Outlaw; 30th Sep 2008 at 03:57.