Amusing PA announcements
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Tightslot,
You know, I did wonder about that myself - and I stand corrected - but lets just say that there were definitely a few titters around the cabin - which is why I mentioned it
, and anything to bring a smile to the pax faces, right - even if meant seriously?
Regards, SD..
You know, I did wonder about that myself - and I stand corrected - but lets just say that there were definitely a few titters around the cabin - which is why I mentioned it
, and anything to bring a smile to the pax faces, right - even if meant seriously?Regards, SD..
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skydriller - Apologies, I didn't mean to get heavy-handed about it at all. If you don't know, then it does sound rather amusing. I'm still waiting for somebody to tell me that I'm wrong about the skiing (but I don't think I am) 
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Many years ago, on a BA flight from Manchester to Berlin Tegel.....
"And at the back of the cabin today, we have the lovely Stephen, who'll be serving you from the rear"
Titters round the cabin, I think I nearly choked, the guy next to me gave me a really dirty look.....lol
"And at the back of the cabin today, we have the lovely Stephen, who'll be serving you from the rear"
Titters round the cabin, I think I nearly choked, the guy next to me gave me a really dirty look.....lol
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One of our Captains kindly popped over to Ops post flight with his paperwork and related the following.........
He had just done a fairly heavy landing (his words not mine!) in to LGW. As he taxied off towards the stands he got on the PA and said........
"Ladies and Gentlemen......Welcome to Gatwick........where the runway is a lot higher than I remembered it ! "
Quality from a top skipper
He had just done a fairly heavy landing (his words not mine!) in to LGW. As he taxied off towards the stands he got on the PA and said........
"Ladies and Gentlemen......Welcome to Gatwick........where the runway is a lot higher than I remembered it ! "
Quality from a top skipper
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Ladies and Gentlemen......Welcome to Gatwick........where the runway is a lot higher than I remembered it ! "
Keep it up!
(edited to remove use of bad sentence structure. Not sure I succeeded)
Paxing All Over The World
TightSlot
No PPRuNe Moderator could ever make a mistake. Shurley? (Now, where is the smiley for shmoozing the Mods??) 
I'm still waiting for somebody to tell me that I'm wrong about the skiing (but I don't think I am)
Wherefore Art I?
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On a NW Airlink flight into DTW last year we ended up doing a go-around. The FA comes on the PA and says, "Sorry, folks! We've decided to do a Victory Lap!"
Pilot of the Airwaves
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Tightslot
You are not wrong....it is possible, on new years day to go swimming in the Med, then take a two hour drive and ski in the Sierra Nevada.
You are not wrong....it is possible, on new years day to go swimming in the Med, then take a two hour drive and ski in the Sierra Nevada.
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Join Date: Aug 2004
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GA in STL, announcing an E145 service to ORD (in reference to the fact all carry-on bags larger than a notebook computer would have to be put into the hold):
"Ladies and gentlemen, unfortunately this service is a Regional Jet..."
"Ladies and gentlemen, unfortunately this service is a Regional Jet..."
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good stuff! 
on my first flight with Virgin Blue, going into a gate with no aerobridge, the crew were making the announcement about staying on the marked pathway "please remain between the white lines, as jet blast can really ruin your hairdo!"
and the goodie:
"welcome to XX airlines, where we have the best cabin crew in the business. Unfortunately, they're all on holidays today..."
many moons ago on an Ansett red-eye, Captain was making the usual altitude, flight time, blah blah announcement, onto the end of which was added: "and could the Purser please bring the Tim Tams to the flight deck.."
Sure gave me a smile; they must have been bored!
on my first flight with Virgin Blue, going into a gate with no aerobridge, the crew were making the announcement about staying on the marked pathway "please remain between the white lines, as jet blast can really ruin your hairdo!"
and the goodie:
"welcome to XX airlines, where we have the best cabin crew in the business. Unfortunately, they're all on holidays today..."
many moons ago on an Ansett red-eye, Captain was making the usual altitude, flight time, blah blah announcement, onto the end of which was added: "and could the Purser please bring the Tim Tams to the flight deck.."
Sure gave me a smile; they must have been bored!
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a tight slot can never be wrong
You can see the mountains from Malaga airport, and they are often snow covered.
I am based in Gibraltar, which is not quite close enough for the view, but we often go swin and ski before the summer madness..... There is also a very popular Beach at Granada......work that one out.....
Just to add confusion Moscow (RF) has a popoular sandy bathing beach too....(Too poluted, for me but lots of nice people!!!!.)
Bumz
not certain of location or circumstances, but:
after the heavy landing, captain speaks:
I would like to add my welcome to @@@@@ and apologise for the bumpy landing, we normally employ first oficers for those, but today it was my turn......thak you for flying $$$$ and I really do hope you will give me a second chance.....
Bumz
I am based in Gibraltar, which is not quite close enough for the view, but we often go swin and ski before the summer madness..... There is also a very popular Beach at Granada......work that one out.....
Just to add confusion Moscow (RF) has a popoular sandy bathing beach too....(Too poluted, for me but lots of nice people!!!!.)
Bumz
not certain of location or circumstances, but:
after the heavy landing, captain speaks:
I would like to add my welcome to @@@@@ and apologise for the bumpy landing, we normally employ first oficers for those, but today it was my turn......thak you for flying $$$$ and I really do hope you will give me a second chance.....
Bumz
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quote:
"if you had any idea how many pax regularly get up before the a/c comes to a complete standstill at the gate then you would understand why that announcement is made."
Was on a flight from SFO to Amsterdam on KLM, after landing while taxying to the gate the usual announcement not to get up before... etc.
Suddenly the guys up front (747-400) slam the breaks because of traffic and the ac stops immediately (pretty impressive, everyone hung in his belt). After that: "As you could see this plane has very powerful brakes therefore please remain seated until we reached our gate and..." From that moment I understood why they make this announcement...
"if you had any idea how many pax regularly get up before the a/c comes to a complete standstill at the gate then you would understand why that announcement is made."
Was on a flight from SFO to Amsterdam on KLM, after landing while taxying to the gate the usual announcement not to get up before... etc.
Suddenly the guys up front (747-400) slam the breaks because of traffic and the ac stops immediately (pretty impressive, everyone hung in his belt). After that: "As you could see this plane has very powerful brakes therefore please remain seated until we reached our gate and..." From that moment I understood why they make this announcement...
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Yeah, I always pray for that to happen whenever I see people leaping up before the aircraft's stopped!
Some people really do think they know best, perhaps a small dose of concussion would convince them that they don't!!!
Some people really do think they know best, perhaps a small dose of concussion would convince them that they don't!!!
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A few of the pilots I flew with at my previous airline would actually listen out on the PA for crew making PA's "we remind you to please remain seated blah blah" and would actually purposely tap the brakes on the way into the gate... 
One of my favourites re this issue that I used to use was "We ask you to please remain seated until we have reached our gate at the seatbelt sign has been turned off. Never before in history has a passenger beaten the aircraft to the gate - please dont be the first to try"
One of my favourites re this issue that I used to use was "We ask you to please remain seated until we have reached our gate at the seatbelt sign has been turned off. Never before in history has a passenger beaten the aircraft to the gate - please dont be the first to try"
Heard this on the VS028 this morning from whilst traveling back from Orlando
"Ladies and gents - you've had Disney World, You've had Sea World - now its back to the real world!"
Made me laugh
ps - the skymaps are great for playing guess your NAT Track (well they are if you're a sad rubber necker (Just like me! ))
"Ladies and gents - you've had Disney World, You've had Sea World - now its back to the real world!"
Made me laugh
ps - the skymaps are great for playing guess your NAT Track (well they are if you're a sad rubber necker (Just like me!
))
None but a blockhead
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Here's a PA announcement that amused the pax but got the pilot into hot water...
http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/0,2106,...a14095,00.html
"Prime Minister Helen Clark has defended her decision to enter the cockpit of an Air New Zealand plane to remonstrate with a pilot who blamed her for the flight being late.
Government-owned Air New Zealand yesterday apologised to Clark and stood down the Boeing 737 pilot after he jokingly blamed her for delays to a Christchurch-bound flight over the plane's public-address system.
The row follows the conviction of two police officers and a civilian driver over her speeding motorcade from Waimate to Christchurch.
The pilot, who thought Clark had made alternative arrangements to fly to Invercargill from Wellington because of fog delays, told passengers she was "taking a private jet – so much for supporting the national airline".
"First of all there was the fog in Auckland, and now the Prime Minister, who was supposed to be flying with us, has decided to offload herself and her bags," the pilot told passengers. "..."
Much more at the link...
R
http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/0,2106,...a14095,00.html
"Prime Minister Helen Clark has defended her decision to enter the cockpit of an Air New Zealand plane to remonstrate with a pilot who blamed her for the flight being late.
Government-owned Air New Zealand yesterday apologised to Clark and stood down the Boeing 737 pilot after he jokingly blamed her for delays to a Christchurch-bound flight over the plane's public-address system.
The row follows the conviction of two police officers and a civilian driver over her speeding motorcade from Waimate to Christchurch.
The pilot, who thought Clark had made alternative arrangements to fly to Invercargill from Wellington because of fog delays, told passengers she was "taking a private jet – so much for supporting the national airline".
"First of all there was the fog in Auckland, and now the Prime Minister, who was supposed to be flying with us, has decided to offload herself and her bags," the pilot told passengers. "..."
Much more at the link...
R
:-) (-:
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Actually happened to me - I was the German speaker on the flight and doing the after landing PA started with the usual:
"Sehr geehrte Damen und Herren..."
Due to the fact that I was chewing on a gum a colleague gave me before landing it more came out like: "... Damen und Herzen..."
which would translate to "My ladies and darlings... " (rathern than ladies and gentlemen).
First and only time I ever chewed a gum while making a PA - got amuses smiles from the pax though - lucky I was sitting all the way in the back on that flight
"Sehr geehrte Damen und Herren..."
Due to the fact that I was chewing on a gum a colleague gave me before landing it more came out like: "... Damen und Herzen..."
which would translate to "My ladies and darlings... " (rathern than ladies and gentlemen).
First and only time I ever chewed a gum while making a PA - got amuses smiles from the pax though - lucky I was sitting all the way in the back on that flight
