"Thank you for volunteering for this suicide mission, Flossie. We need a futile gesture at this stage in the war"
"That's all right sir, all in a day's work"
Well, goodbye, then"
"Perhaps, ... perhaps it's au revoir, sir?"
"No, Flossie."

"...and you're sure these are the Field Rations that the North Koreans sent us?"

"I asked for a Carrier Pigeon, not a mocking Bird!"

Typical. I order you to develop an autonomous stand-off weapon. You bring me a squab with a squib.

Don’t worry if they shoot you down, we have provided you with a parachute pack.

Of course you are qualified, I have met a lot of bird brained pilots in the RAF and you are at the top of the pile.

Until you demonstrated it, I had never heard of Pigeon Diarrhoea, gawd knows how I will get it off my right breast pocket.

We plan the send you in undercover as a duck, prosthetic’s and makeup are standing by to fit your disguise.

What's for lunch cook?

Chicken surprise!

And dessert?

Pigeon pie…

"Bill and Cooo", the movie. (B&W)

No, I don't deliver just eat* ...you lazy bu**er!

*other delivery services available! ;)

Reverse Zoonosis from a zoo keeper , bird hesitates as that thought crossed the bird brain .

The war has changed all of us, and not in a good way. This is an ex parrot.

Norman Wisdom gets volunteered to learn their lingo and finally clear the pigeons from Trafalgar Square.

"Hmmm, this gives me an idea for a song.", said Tom Lehrer.

The last carrier pigeon, having being made redundant by drones, delivers its last message - a redundancy notice to its handler.

Well, as the carrier pigeon of fate meets the sparrowhawk of destiny, I think it's time to put this one in its coop...

Great responses, but the winner is 622 by a short flutter:

Well done mate, CST on its way, afraid it's full of birdseed...

Many thanks, and Happy New Year to all!

Lets go with this shall we:

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune....f73a6bb164.jpg

She will like the flowers, if you give me ten minutes I’ll put the lipstick on her snout.