Fred was giving Doris, the bird, last instructions for his next mission which was to take down Putin’s new hypersonic missile

Hoskins upon learning he had come second in the Big Pecker Competition having entered thinking it was about noses.

Dr. Doolittle was commissioned by the army to talk with severely traumatised carrier pigeons, many of whom repaid his kindness by cr@pping on his car.

Captain Hoskins was reported to the RSPB for spilling his seed on the carrier pigeons in his care. He was known thereafter as Onan the Barbarian.

Well at least you are smarter than the aircrew I have to deal with.

Shamus had not quite got his head around the phrase, keep your pecker up.

Launch everything that will fly, and order the fleet to raise steam. This is a carrier pigeon if I've ever seen one!

Rear Admiral Noah, having run out of Ravens, resorted to sending out his dinner to look for dry land.

Handler tweets in pigeon English: "You daft? Why you continue do this?"
Pigeon: "It's me fate, mate. I'm a career pigeon."

Listen mate, just give me my dinner or I'll cough all over you!

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune....bfafe6a28.jpeg

"Gerroff, I'm not that sort of bird!"

Now remember, when one of those new Dutch Falcons spots you, wait for it to stoop. Then you'll have a zero-deflection shot.

Wartime shortages had made transportation of lower GI samples to the lab unreliable, sometimes delaying critical care. Then Dr. Butts thought of repurposing a technique he'd seen in the last war, and the term "stool pigeon" entered our vocabulary.

When you see what I have just left on your hat mate ...you won't be so pleased to see me!

For centuries, man has attempted to harness the uncanny navigational ability of homing pigeons. Modern technology has finally brought that goal near at hand. Scientists are perfecting a lightweight pod containing a radio transmitter and a precise clock. Once the pods (prototype shown above) are mass produced and fitted to birds, it will simply be a matter of ensuring that at least four are airborne at any given time.

Look mate, I’m no Yankee Doodle Pigeon, and you’re no Dick Dastardly either.

These management pigeons are all the same. They fly on over and take the last crumb out of your mouth. Then they sh1t all over you and fly on back.

Well one of us is an excellent navigator and as sure as sh*t they aren’t wearing a stupid hat.

Hoskins' nasty habit of "pulling the pigeon" resulted in the bird having a perpetually elongated neck.

- Ed