"I quite like cats, y'know, but I can never eat a whole one in one sitting."

Hoskins, the Company's method actor, takes his 'Cats bum' impressions seriously.

Despondent. ...Will you come and keep me company in a cave in the Outer Hebredes till mid July?

Despondent. ..it's a Rum old world...init kiltie

Despondent. ...Yet again we can't rely on the Europeans to come to our rescue

He's carrying on a fine family tradition, his father, grand father and great grandfather were all pull through's.

https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune....c72f919df5.png

This feels like it's on its seventh or eighth life, so I'll call it tonight.

Yes, it shines up beautifully if you rub hard enough!

Will it be won by a whisker?

We rub his scent gland up and down each shell, it sends the Boche dogs crazy running around the craters.

Dick Dastardly in his Army days has a brilliant idea on how to " Stop that Pigeon "

I knew judging would be hard, but did you have to find quite so many ways to skin the cat?

Anyone can let the cat out of the bag, but only on CapCom:

Treadigraph: Heath-Robinson's idea for a cat neutering device was thwarted for the want of a piece of string.

Can you pull the bag off a cat.

And then there’s

Wenleysdale: "What passing bells for those who die as kittens..." -- Wilfred Owen gets writers' block.

Cat got his tongue?

Other ones I loved:

Ninthace: Teaching Tiddles to fly the shell was only half the battle. The real problem was how to paint mice on the target without the enemy noticing.

Wenleysdale: Brian decided to make a trench art tennis racket.

Kiltrash: ...and if the officer prepares to FIRE, scratch him kitty. ..

Nutloose: They said they wanted a cat able to carry a decent load across the battlefield and drop it with pinpoint accuracy, we looked at the Jaguar but it fell well short of your capabilities.

Buster Hymen: As usual, there was a little ceremony for Mr. Tinkles’ Ninth mission…

Then, if you haven’t figured it out, I’m always a sucker for a pun:

Wenleysdale: Unfortunately, someone ordered the engineering officer to "Blow the Kitty" at the next party.

And one along vaguely similar, yet much more exotic, lines:

MPN11: At the subsequent Field Court Martial, Lt. Blown-Fuse denied smoking khat. "The charge is a mass of typos!", he protested!

But the winner of the CST, with that je really can’t sais quoi:

Treadigraph: It's a smart bunker buster - if his whiskers can get down a ventilator, the shell will too.

Well done, all of you. To keep Greta happy, the trophy will be on its way by cat(amaran). Unfortunately, they couldn’t guarantee delivery by the 4th. Oh, wait a minute . . .

Thanks Chu Chu, can you hear me purring? :)

I'm actually away for several days (hoping to catch a glimpse of the elusive Osprey while visiting family in Suffolk), so hopefully somebody out there in Captionland has a picture they are just itching to use; please do pick up the baton!

https://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune....55644b3779.jpg

Nutty demonstrates his problem of premature ... never mind.

Can YOU set light to a fart?

"F. O., Hoskins!"