Soldier 2nd from right: "Hmm, why is his fly undone?"

Army dog handlers have to pass their aptitude test by learning how to pacify the ferocious drop bears before they go on to the dog course proper.
They swaddle the animals in case some joker has given them a drip bear instead.

The Army Medics have to find a non complaining subject for the advanced Prostrate Exam when Hoskins refused to be the test subject

Australia is training the new generation of reproductive Rugby balls.

ET Phoned home and all his relations landed in Australia

" Mummy he just followed me home from school, can I keep him Mummy, Please, I will take care of him, walk him every day, feed and water him, please can I keep him Mummy Please.?"

Said the Koala….....

"..and to prepare you for release back into the wild we have brought in a survival expert. You each have your individual tutor, "
"Take it away Mr Grylls" Said the instructor to the Bears
​​​​​​

Pina Koala?

Referring back to the success of Operation Babylift the Australian Armed Forces instigate Operation Cuddles from the Blue Mountains ...
Kylie offers to adopt all the orphans

My predecessor? Some guy with a penchant for dangerous fauna. Think his name was Irwin?

It was shown that a good shot of medicinal cannabis calmed the ferocious Dropbears. The lad third from left next to the glasses, took it himself and dozed off.

Female standing
"You can come out from hiding now Prince Andrew, just had word Mr Weinstien has been found guilty and jailed without your testimony. The Fed's don't need you "

"Mine's got diarrhea"

"Never mind, here is the US flag to wrap him in, that should absorb it nicely"

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune....7ce6297f99.jpg

"What's that you're injecting him with?"

"It's some new virus we are trialling to cut down on koala mortality rates, we thought we'd give him a shot before sending him off to China to recuperate"


..

Lady "Aaaaaah, I think I want a baby now"
Guys "Can someone hold my Koala, work to do, genes to spread"
Koala "Shove it fat boy, wait in line, I got here first"

So where did you find that rotund, furry, bad tempered and very smelly creature?

i just fell out of a tree and there he was!

Yes, we know they're flea-ridden, piddling, stinking, scratching, rotten little things*, but you can't describe the PM and his entourage like that to the press.

*Description of subject beast by John Brown, then Minister for Tourism in the Hawke government.

Woman second from left
"Sarge this one says he is not a Koala he is Archie Sussex, His parents left him behind when they visited Currumbin, His mum muttered something about they all look so alike, "

I'll have a judge tonight!