New years Day 2021, Boris and Jeremy produce a joint message praising the post Brexit Prosperous Great Britain

So you were going to use this Savings Bond certificate from 1943 for 10/6 to pay for your manifesto promises?

The worrying thing is how many Millenials won't have a clue who we are, said Del Boy

So if I fold it like so and so and so it will fly better than a Max?

I'm afraid the suggestion box for your ailments has not been helpful

It's from Shepherds Bush Council You don't meet ULEZ requirements.

"It's a telegram from the Queen. It says, 'If you're 100, I'm a dutchman.'"

"Alan Sugar says he wants to see you. He needs someone on his panel who knows a successful business proposition when he sees one."

Well there was only one voter, and even you didn't vote for you.

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune....70d0920089.jpg

What's this? It says "I'm afraid to tell you there's no money left! Kind regards – and good luck!"

“it’s from Brussels, Jeremy, and it just says ‘F Off.’”

Its from the Organ Transplant people, new rules and all are considered as donners, however in your case they are willing to make a exception.

Its a Dear John letter from Diane....

Its from the DNA people, they have tracked down a twin brother of yours Jeremy, his name is Wilfred Brambell

Its the reply from the Goldfish Club, and no - you can't join if you've deserted a sinking ship.

Its from the Gender Reassignment people, you have been selected to take part and from now on you will be called Diane Abbott

Its from your book publisher, unfortunately your Book, 'The next Labour Prime Minister' was incorrectly filed under 'Fiction'

Its from the Police, they want you to take part in an identity parade, They have someone in Islington gone missing and they want you for a reconstruction of his last known movement.

Its from the BBC Makeup People, Thanks for giving us the week off.

It says "write two letters"