B "I do hope you're wearing your saucy French Maid's outfit".
Q "This is the palace you buffoon".

Yes Prime Minister, I know during the war we stayed in Buckingham Palace as a gesture of solidarity with the London people, but there weren't grandchildren there then...

You know Prime Minister, it was all so simple this time last year; Andrew and Harry weren't quite such pains in the arse and a bit of light relief with Philip rolling the Landrover...

"Prime Minister, could you just explain to me what 'science' is and why it's so important at the moment?"

"We're going to get Brexit done, Ma'am. Errm, strong and stable government. Errm, we're all in this together"

"Prime Minister, I cannot make head or tail of what you're saying."

"Ah, that will be for security reasons, Ma'am."

Hello, No I don't have PPI.

Hello, who are you. What did you do with that nice Mr McMillan......

Sorry, who are you ?

Hello Ian McKellan......................... oh, someone said there was an old Queen on the line.

Hello yes, we have taken the distancing on board, Harry is in Canada.

Yes mam, Charles is self isolating with Covid-19 in Balmoral, Andrew is self isolating with Sophie aged 16 in a penthouse.

Yes Boris, I knew Winston Churchill, Winston Churchill was friend of mine, you are no Winston Churchill, maybe Churchill the nodding dog on TV adverts.

"Umm..Boris, can you please go and give Camilla a big kiss?"
"Your Madge, there are a lot of things I would do for this country, but that isn't one of them."

Think yourself lucky Ma-am. If I had lost the election you could be speaking to Diane Abbott....

"Well Prime Minister. If the ban on isolating in holiday homes was lifted, then one could go up to Balmoral for the Spring."

"Its about some clarification of the rules. One is told to limit ones visits to the shop. What is a shop, and why does one have to go there?"

At the stroke the time will be 8.44 precisely
beep. beep. beep.....
pm to aide off camera. Don't interrupt me I'm talking with the Queen...

One is well, thank you, and catching up with Coronation Street. I'm up to 1154 and Henry II...

Ah Prime Minister, please can you send the Royal Vet round.
Oh are the Corris not well.
They are fine but Camilla has a snivel

Oh i'm so sorry ma'am but the regulations prevent Princess Beatrice and that Eytie marrying and the reception at Buckingham Palace.
Oh that's alright. Me and my disfunctional family have no reason to all get together. Phew...