Amusing Sayings
 

Maybe done before (I'm thick skinned), but recently heard here from a German exchange officer:

1. We have never won a war since the formation of the Luftwaffe.
and

2. He'd rather his sister worked in a brothel than have a brother in the 'airforce'.


There must be more (not necessarily German in origin) out there........

Regards
Batco

"I would rather my father worked for ten brexiters than one bremainer"

"Excellent - and what is his profession?"

"Undertaker..."

(with apologies to Hannibal)

PDR

Most amusing in the Royal Air Force? Got to be 'soldier first'!

It will be. If anyone in the RAF ever says it!

'Not my circus - not my clowns.............'

"We need a fresh goat, this one's fcuked out." ~ my lead petty officer, engine mechanic, during one of our usual interaction with the ship's supply department

"Boss, we need to go on the pill, as we're being f----d around so much by your flight commanders, there's a grave danger of us getting pregnant".

"What the f*ck was that?"

The old Mayor of Hiroshima joke, side clutching.


I remember dropping the pulley for the front winch point of a Vulcan engine change onto the head of someone standing on top of the engine supporting the weight of the winch. I saw it hit him and he went over like he'd been shot. He was bigger than me and I was in fear for my life, one of my mates said I was shaking like a $hitting dog, something that's always stuck in my mind!

"Someone's just bailed out of that B-29!"

"So they have, but why only one B-29 and only one parachute?"

(Hiroshima resident, 6 August 1945)


"Thank heavens it wasn't us!"

(Nagasaki resident, 7 August 1945)


"There's really rather a lot of them. More than I thought there'd be, in fact!"

(General George Custer, 25 Jun 1876)

You should have thought about that before you spilled the paint.

Sir, our squadron goal is to get to a point where we're doing less with more.

" Let's march down, ( to the squadron/line/shq or wherever ), save walking"

'I'm off for a spot of Egyptian PT ( i.e. for a kip )"

"We had lots of continental Irishmen on the squadron ( i.e Poles/Czechs )"


Thanks to Ted Gibson ex-WW2 bomber nav on 48 Sqn

Both for young whippersnappers:

"I was in Baghdad when you were in your dad's bag"

"I was on the main gate when you were on cow and gate"

The former a particular favourite...

We're here to defend democracy, not practice it.

You don't have to walk over, you can run.

See you tomorrow...

Thanks for the warning.

And not so young.

They didn't say that to me but the wg cdr kept scoring points off the sqn ldr during my OASC interview (I didn't realise at the time that this was the green light).

you only smell strong.

[930305 LAC Langley]

He's that thick, even the armourers notice.

...as much use as a fart in a bottle.

If you can't fix it, f*ck it, so no other f*cker can fix it.

If sh*t were brains, he wouldn't have enough to wipe his a*se

If brains were chocolate, he wouldn't have enough to fill a smartie.


As much use as a concrete parachute

If his brain exploded his beret wouldn't come off.

If you can't take a joke, you shouldn't have joined.

Drill Sgt at Cranditz:
"I'll kick you up the arse so fakkin 'ard you'll be ****tin' Kiwi for the next nine months, Sah!"

This was also stated by a French POW in Colditz

So confused he didn't know whether he wanted a 5h1t or a haircut!

If it floats, flies or fcuks, you're better off renting it !

Not a saying but a first hand account -
Telephones back in the 70s RAF (and no doubt earlier & later) had a sticker on them stating: Speech On This Telephone Is Not Secure. A disheartened soul had scraped off some letters so that it read Speech On This Telephone Is No cure...

Everyone has the right to be ugly, but you abuse the privilege.

This thread is titled 'Amusing Sayings' - not adolescent smut.

NutLoose, your posts are particularly crude.

It would be a funny old world if we were all amused by the same thing. But it's a funny old world anyway.

As useful as a chocolate teapot

As useful as an ashtray on a motorbike

Sorry, that one has lost its veracity:

Chocolate teapot proves useful - BBC News

"As funny as a fart in church".


Now, who hasn't sniggered at that?

If I wanted your opinion I'd give it to you.

That's not in the least bit amusing...

CG

When describing the skirt worn by a particularly large WREN:

"I haven't seen that much canvas since Victory was undergoing sea trials"