"Look, I have seen a CH47 lift one before. How difficult can it be?"

"Winching in"

Nigel is overjoyed to find a KFC outlet!

Although the new flot system had indeed deployed successfully the aircrew remained extremely dubious about what exactly should happen next.

"We're gonna need a bigger boat!"

(With apologies to Roy Scheider)

Vince Cable is dropped off for the last leg of the journey to the Cape Wrath Lighthouse.

"So lovely to meet you. I must say that I'm your biggest fan."

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y26...r/IMG_0113.jpg

"Oi, you in the Helicopter..... This is the UK Maritime Health and Safety vessel HMS Overkill..... where are your flourescent tabbards?"

"Are you sure its a radar reflector he sold us?"

We are on page two again, time to judge:

3rd place:
ShyTorque with:

Helicopter: "Ooh, stoppit, you're tickling!"

2nd place:
TheWizard with:

"Look, I have seen a CH47 lift one before. How difficult can it be?"

"Winching in"

1st place:
toptobottom with:

Keep losing your dog in the woods?
Can't remember where you parked the car?
Can't find your boat after a long dive?

New "Helium Helis" is the answer!! Simply inflate and attach using the string provided - can be seen from miles away!! http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/sr...ilies/evil.gif

Buy while stocks last!
PS Great for kid's parties too!!

Over to you.......

Many thanks Surfmaster

A bit ironic; my 'evil grin' was because I used that caption on a previous entry, but hey ho...

Let's try this one...

http://i851.photobucket.com/albums/a...onContest2.jpg


Happy Christmas and New Year everyone! :ok:

Chap on right: "So let's get this straight, Sir.... my security operative tells you hid this up your butt?"

Security operative: "He did, he did....I had to reach THIS far up his butt to find it!"

Passenger: "That's my pen and it was actually in my shirt pocket at the time!"

No soldier, you're the one that's activated the timer and detonator - you tell me when you think it's gonna go bang!

We've had a tip off that one of your security detail was in the Hitler Youth.

"Someone round here must be able to tell a bomb from a butt plug!"

When interpreting the passengers remarks for the deaf, the guy in the background couldn't remember how to sign Hitler.

"So let me get this straight, in return for this case containing $1,000,000 you will give me a cheque personally signed by Princess Obolongo of the Nigerian Royal Family for the sum of $15,000,0000 which was left to her by her late father King Cocopops and I may keep the difference as my fee?"

No, the vibrator is not mine...but, would anyone here like it?

"Well I've heard of a gold tooth but never a blue tooth, open your mouth wider so I can see where it came from"

Ricky Ponting's dad wins a full cavity search after suggesting where the security guard could shove the liquorice allsort he'd just retrieved from his luggage.

$30 a gram?!! Are you kidding me soldier??!!

It's worth twice that on the street - anyone else want to make me an offer?