RAF ALM Duties..
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
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Air Lard Masters............backbone of the Royal Air Force's air transport fleet. Typical duties include:
Supplying dubious chat-up lines to pilots.
Holding the kitty.
Inviting nymphomanic nurses to the end-of-Det party in New Orleans.
Taking you home to the hotel in Crete on a 'borrowed' moped.
Looking after the captain when he needs looking after.
Looking after the captain when hd doesn't need any help.
Dragging injured people out of burning aircraft.
Turning up late for wheels.
Sitting in the hot tub next to reception with some girls whilst the crew turn up for wheels.
Doing effective but repetetive magic tricks to impress females.
Loading an aircraft with a highly complex air drop load in the middle of the night without complaining (well not much) then flying all day and dropping it on some God-foresaken place (Keevil).
Inviting the commissioned members of the crew to discuss matters of State and politic in the Sgts' Mess in Akronelli.
General Bad Behaviour and his staff officer Major Toot were once ALMs.
Drill, parades and other ceremonial matters.
In general, the sort of people that make life enjoyable as well as providing a reason for guarding your daughters.
Supplying dubious chat-up lines to pilots.
Holding the kitty.
Inviting nymphomanic nurses to the end-of-Det party in New Orleans.
Taking you home to the hotel in Crete on a 'borrowed' moped.
Looking after the captain when he needs looking after.
Looking after the captain when hd doesn't need any help.
Dragging injured people out of burning aircraft.
Turning up late for wheels.
Sitting in the hot tub next to reception with some girls whilst the crew turn up for wheels.
Doing effective but repetetive magic tricks to impress females.
Loading an aircraft with a highly complex air drop load in the middle of the night without complaining (well not much) then flying all day and dropping it on some God-foresaken place (Keevil).
Inviting the commissioned members of the crew to discuss matters of State and politic in the Sgts' Mess in Akronelli.
General Bad Behaviour and his staff officer Major Toot were once ALMs.
Drill, parades and other ceremonial matters.
In general, the sort of people that make life enjoyable as well as providing a reason for guarding your daughters.
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: England
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Supplying dubious chat-up lines to pilots.
Holding the kitty.
Inviting nymphomanic nurses to the end-of-Det party in New Orleans.
Taking you home to the hotel in Crete on a 'borrowed' moped.
Looking after the captain when he needs looking after.
Looking after the captain when hd doesn't need any help.
Turning up late for wheels.
Sitting in the hot tub next to reception with some girls whilst the crew turn up for wheels.
I thought this is what the Nav was for..... and if it is`nt, What does a Nav do??
<dons flame retardent suit and stands back>
Holding the kitty.
Inviting nymphomanic nurses to the end-of-Det party in New Orleans.
Taking you home to the hotel in Crete on a 'borrowed' moped.
Looking after the captain when he needs looking after.
Looking after the captain when hd doesn't need any help.
Turning up late for wheels.
Sitting in the hot tub next to reception with some girls whilst the crew turn up for wheels.
I thought this is what the Nav was for..... and if it is`nt, What does a Nav do??
<dons flame retardent suit and stands back>
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Equidistant
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Hi Gang;
Spot...What's a Nav. The CNI only gives chat up lines like 'reset alt sel?'
Sir PH Love Child.
Next time you see Julie Andrews, you may be having a bit of Gruyere with your Coffee.
Regards to Most
SFS
Spot...What's a Nav. The CNI only gives chat up lines like 'reset alt sel?'
Sir PH Love Child.
Next time you see Julie Andrews, you may be having a bit of Gruyere with your Coffee.
Regards to Most
SFS
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: UK
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ah! backpocket.com
you forgot some other duties, let me remind you of some more.
taking the ugly bird to watch an american football match while the Captain takes the cutie - all for it to be a waste of time as the Captain announces at the end of the night that he's married.
taking the Captain to a 'Colombian Night' (you might not remember that)
providing numerous cover stories to people various to explain the Captains sudden departure.
you forgot some other duties, let me remind you of some more.
taking the ugly bird to watch an american football match while the Captain takes the cutie - all for it to be a waste of time as the Captain announces at the end of the night that he's married.
taking the Captain to a 'Colombian Night' (you might not remember that)
providing numerous cover stories to people various to explain the Captains sudden departure.
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Wilts
Age: 58
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ahhh!
Unclebuckhead. Twas there last week and the cubicles and alcoves are still full of birds. Elvis was also alive and well and gubby sends her regards. How is the J model doing at low level by the way?
Unclebuckhead. Twas there last week and the cubicles and alcoves are still full of birds. Elvis was also alive and well and gubby sends her regards. How is the J model doing at low level by the way?
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Wiltshire
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Saga,
Tried the Crewman thing, gave it 3 tours, flying toptastic but life style
Now migrated to the mighty J, via a top fun tour on the K and this is the life for me.
I would leave and be a milkman before returning to SH, pre supposing they would have me back but thats just my opinion.
Fly safe!!
all spelling mistakes are "df" alcohol induced
Tried the Crewman thing, gave it 3 tours, flying toptastic but life style
Now migrated to the mighty J, via a top fun tour on the K and this is the life for me.
I would leave and be a milkman before returning to SH, pre supposing they would have me back but thats just my opinion.
Fly safe!!
all spelling mistakes are "df" alcohol induced
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Wiltshire
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Phew.....boy thats good to hear. It's taken a weight off my mind that's for sure.
Can now spend the next 10 years having fun without worrying about the dreaded cross back over
Must dash as we are day into night Tac flying which is an absolute hoot
all spelling mistakes are "df" alcohol induced
Can now spend the next 10 years having fun without worrying about the dreaded cross back over
Must dash as we are day into night Tac flying which is an absolute hoot
all spelling mistakes are "df" alcohol induced
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: States sometimes
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ABIW,
I have heard that C-130J ALMs duties are quite different to those of other fixed wing loadies - especially on Tac AT missions, so much so that they are more akin to 'crewman' than FW ALMs. Is there any truth in this?
I have heard that C-130J ALMs duties are quite different to those of other fixed wing loadies - especially on Tac AT missions, so much so that they are more akin to 'crewman' than FW ALMs. Is there any truth in this?
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Wiltshire
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Good Mickey,
If only it were true .....well it almost is.
After a tour of single pilot op's on Puma's in the early 90's I don't think anything will ever match that for pure enjoyment. Even the advent of Nav's did'nt dampen the fire but the lifestyle got the better of an old fellow like me.
However for the ALM the J is a definate step in the right direction.
On the TAC front we have some very capable guys, both drivers and loadie's, who are undoing most of the problems created by those who went before them and now the loadie is not only encouraged but is expected in the cockpit for most of the mission.
However there is no doubt the ALM's primary role is aft of 245 looking after the stuff that either walks, is driven or is carried down the back. But once all that side of life is squared away it would appear common sense is finally prevailing and we are being utilised more and more up front.
Having done a K tour prior to this the only real differance i notice, from an ALM point of veiw, is less crew members, the trim sheet/weight and balance stuff is now computerised, we now do the imprest and we now have a flushing bog
Like the Crewman we now have to know a fair bit of tech, understand tap's, enroute sups etc, make radio calls blah blah blah but we never lose track of the fact that the 335 etc are the real reason we are employed.
If you are considering a move I hope this has helped, as i said before the flying on rotary was brill but the J, and life on the AT fleet in general, is the way ahead.
all spelling mistakes are "df" alcohol induced
If only it were true
.....well it almost is.After a tour of single pilot op's on Puma's in the early 90's I don't think anything will ever match that for pure enjoyment. Even the advent of Nav's did'nt dampen the fire but the lifestyle got the better of an old fellow like me.
However for the ALM the J is a definate step in the right direction.
On the TAC front we have some very capable guys, both drivers and loadie's, who are undoing most of the problems created by those who went before them and now the loadie is not only encouraged but is expected in the cockpit for most of the mission.
However there is no doubt the ALM's primary role is aft of 245 looking after the stuff that either walks, is driven or is carried down the back. But once all that side of life is squared away it would appear common sense is finally prevailing and we are being utilised more and more up front.
Having done a K tour prior to this the only real differance i notice, from an ALM point of veiw, is less crew members, the trim sheet/weight and balance stuff is now computerised, we now do the imprest and we now have a flushing bog
Like the Crewman we now have to know a fair bit of tech, understand tap's, enroute sups etc, make radio calls blah blah blah but we never lose track of the fact that the 335 etc are the real reason we are employed.
If you are considering a move I hope this has helped, as i said before the flying on rotary was brill but the J, and life on the AT fleet in general, is the way ahead.
all spelling mistakes are "df" alcohol induced
