Taceval, Maxival and Minival
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I do remember,a late 70s, Kinloss ,No Notice ,Exercise, Maxival I think, which was primed to start at 1900. The response from the troops was minimal. Those who had the knowledge passed it around. Result:-Empty singlie blocks and messes. Swathes of personnel "elsewhere" at Startex and last exercise not in the early hours.
As if to prove my earlier point, some **** head decided as war would not always be declared at oh gor blimey its early, they would go for a mid week mid evening call to arms. Which on the one hand is entirely logical, but equally completely oblivious to the true state of mind of the rank and file. As noted above...no ****er showed up.
Yours truly was quaffing with about 8 others in civvies in the Pilmuir Arms/Inn?? (once also a half decent chinese - long since demolished) and we were still quaffing at closing time - despite some unknown erk poking their head round the door and yelling "any RAF in here"
"No mate, they don't come here - try the Red Beastie".
As I recall a major sense of humor failure by the brass hats resulted, but no fallout landed on me. Oh happy days, where art thou?
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
Re an Oh Christ Hundred callout. In Eastern Europe it would in theory be 2 hours late, say 0600 rather than 0400. Central Europe 0500 etc.
Now would anyone consider seriously that our Lords and Masters would actually react that quickly? Either they were burning the midnight oil, say 8pm, and could therefore have give the order before midnight for a leisurely response at first light or for a true 0600 EST start a UK start between 1000-1400 after morning coffee and due consideration
Now would anyone consider seriously that our Lords and Masters would actually react that quickly? Either they were burning the midnight oil, say 8pm, and could therefore have give the order before midnight for a leisurely response at first light or for a true 0600 EST start a UK start between 1000-1400 after morning coffee and due consideration
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TOFO
Had many a good evening in the Riverslea pub and an excellent meal in the chinese above. Thought the "Any raff in here" was apocryphal but having got it from the horse's mouth now: It can be retold with authority.
The evening we speak of The Abbey Inn, in the village, was deserted but the pubs of Forres did a roaring trade. Yep, rank stupidity but the lesson, for once, seems to have been learned.
Had many a good evening in the Riverslea pub and an excellent meal in the chinese above. Thought the "Any raff in here" was apocryphal but having got it from the horse's mouth now: It can be retold with authority.
The evening we speak of The Abbey Inn, in the village, was deserted but the pubs of Forres did a roaring trade. Yep, rank stupidity but the lesson, for once, seems to have been learned.
With the choice removed from the individual, anyone, fool or otherwise, can be made uncomfortable.
I fully agree with you and having also worked supporting Rotary Wing, inc SHDetNI , always respected the way you guys "knuckled down " in supporting the Army in the field.
In contrast of course Harrier Force had a huge mobile support tail .
Indeed, watching one set of convoy packets moving out of Güt, I was amused by my Flight Sergeant's remark:
" So, where's the Piano?"
FYI I never lived in a tent on deployment (What? No chance!): having about a dozen box- bodied Bedfords (actually flat beds with ATRELs) , suitably modified by local Harrier RIC initiative. Hot showers, 24hr lighting if required , Aircon, Air beds on the floors, hot coffee at daybreak, our own self help in-house catering ( partly because we also looked after the HF cooks, helping them set up ) etc.etc.
We had in one song, based on "Yellow Submarine" the phrase:
"Ten, four-ton happy holiday homes on wheels"
("Backed up arse-to- arse, going nowhere fast")
Happy Days - 7 minutes of their flying time from the IGB.
I guess we wouldn't have lasted effectively more than a couple of days had IT happened.
.
.
.
(But we also had a contingency plan for that.....)
Last edited by Haraka; 15th Oct 2015 at 18:35.
What fun we used to have at the secret Lincs airbase, shut in the PBF and surviving on microwaved meals and re runs of black adders private plane. How we used to laugh when we locked our favourite crews in the airlock as "there's an air raid on and we can't let you in...".
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Oh, what fun I had!
I used to love those exercises, partly because I'm a pervert and partly because they tried to remind some of our people that they were actually in a fighting Service 
I had the pleasure/privilege of being IC Station DISTAFF at Waddington in V-Force days, and subsequently being a visiting PITA for 11 Gp Exercises at assorted locations. I can't have been that awful, though ... LU used to request my presence as DISTAFF when they held a SCOTADEX, so I must have done something right!
(Stories on request, cash donations to Poppy Appeal please)
I had the pleasure/privilege of being IC Station DISTAFF at Waddington in V-Force days, and subsequently being a visiting PITA for 11 Gp Exercises at assorted locations. I can't have been that awful, though ... LU used to request my presence as DISTAFF when they held a SCOTADEX, so I must have done something right!
(Stories on request, cash donations to Poppy Appeal please)
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
In the 60s, in Bomber Command, things were very simple. Startex was all hands to the wheel, about 5-6 hours after the start everyone flew off to dispersal with QRA plus one at main base and the odd post-service recovery flying off a couple of hours later.
Come tea time not a soul to be seen. Just about everyone off at dispersal and the bar still open for the off duty ops, atc and an engineer.
The order book was about 20-30 pages, if that.
Come tea time not a soul to be seen. Just about everyone off at dispersal and the bar still open for the off duty ops, atc and an engineer.
The order book was about 20-30 pages, if that.
Then there was the time at Lossie when the nuclear survival rations were all issued forward.
....not even the groundcrew were tempted by them!
Being appointed as an exercise planner was wonderful licence for arranging suitable hooliganism. A query to the Reds revealed that they were due to transit back from Holland on the day of our Pratteval, so were quite happy to agree to my request to rush over Wattisham trailing smoke. We'd told Bluntishead whence they were coming and at what time, but even then they weren't intercepted by a single F-4. They caused mayhem; all ex-RAFG people yelled "Gas Gas Gas" in the approved manner and masked up; however, this was in the days of the S6 and no-one could hear what anyone else was saying. Down in the WOC, the Stn Cdr turned to the Gnd Def Cdr and said "Pass me the chemical defence section of the Station War Plan"....
"Err....there isn't one".
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN??""
"No chemical threat to the UK sir, 11 Gp have told us so"
"Well if the Reds can do it, so could the enemy - do something....NOW"
At which point we decided to close the incident and to raise it at the debrief, although I rang Red 1 to thank him for an excellent airfield attack which had fully met my aim.
At the debrief, when the Stn Cdr tried to belittle our carefully arranged 'chemical' attack by saying that there was no threat to the UK of such villainy, my trump card was to let him know that EX WINTEX, due in a couple of weeks, certainly did include such a threat. Whereupon he turned to Gnd Def Cdr and muttered "I trust you weren't planning on any leave in the next few weeks?".....
But no-one queried why those blunt buggers at Neatishead had failed to intercept the incoming raid when they knew the precise time and direction of arrival of the 10 bright red Hawks coming from Holland on an international flight plan......
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Slow Biker
When you've stopped pedalling, read this.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuban_Missile_Crisis
When you've stopped pedalling, read this.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuban_Missile_Crisis
Thought police antagonist
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One of the benefits of being on 431 was the infamous yellow arm band....worn away from Bruggen as we usually were, and which offered complete protection against whatever the Warsaw Pact could throw at us !.
It also used to annoy those who were compelled to play of course
Sometime later, at the secret Lincs base adjacent to Horncastle, this time with 71 MU ( even if it had been rebranded by then ) we were impressed one night when they had a war....notably when a blackout was declared....and lo and behold, the lights on the domestic area did indeed go out.....there was but one small flaw however....looking towards the ramp and those large towers with lights on.....all glowing happily away.
HAS's were much more fun the second time around. You simply took your own provisions, shut the door, and remembered to hold the gas mask over your face when answering the phone......and it was amusing to watch our German colleagues at Memmingen doing exactly the same....
There were always the purists of course, who took these events rather seriously, in contrast to those of us who took a more realistic view....these little events were just a mid-week inconvenience between the weekend holidays....
It also used to annoy those who were compelled to play of course
Sometime later, at the secret Lincs base adjacent to Horncastle, this time with 71 MU ( even if it had been rebranded by then ) we were impressed one night when they had a war....notably when a blackout was declared....and lo and behold, the lights on the domestic area did indeed go out.....there was but one small flaw however....looking towards the ramp and those large towers with lights on.....all glowing happily away.
HAS's were much more fun the second time around. You simply took your own provisions, shut the door, and remembered to hold the gas mask over your face when answering the phone......and it was amusing to watch our German colleagues at Memmingen doing exactly the same....
There were always the purists of course, who took these events rather seriously, in contrast to those of us who took a more realistic view....these little events were just a mid-week inconvenience between the weekend holidays....
RTB, Back Seat of a Jag to Lossie, not great weather but Lossie ended their passing of it with the announcement of the NBC state etc, first we knew that a call out had just occurred in our absence.
"Bugger that" says my driver, "tell them were diverting to Kinloss, weather."
"You tell them, because they will not fall for it"
"Mutter mutter" from front seat.
We landed at Lossie, and our luck continued as were deemed to have flown through the wrong type of cloud and were banished to the far end of the airfield to await De-contamination.
15 minutes felt like a lifetime as the front seat constantly reminded me we could have been enjoying lunch at Kinloss.
"Bugger that" says my driver, "tell them were diverting to Kinloss, weather."
"You tell them, because they will not fall for it"
"Mutter mutter" from front seat.
We landed at Lossie, and our luck continued as were deemed to have flown through the wrong type of cloud and were banished to the far end of the airfield to await De-contamination.
15 minutes felt like a lifetime as the front seat constantly reminded me we could have been enjoying lunch at Kinloss.
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TACEVAL, EGXW, "NBC White" on Tannoy but, of course, sniff tests had to be carried out.
As a caring person, I allowed certain pets to be allowed at work during exercises ... those owned by off-base singles who would otherwise have to be abandoned to their fate for several days.
I thus tasked a WRAF Cpl to perform the sniff test using her caged gerbil.
The TACEVAL Umpire present laughed loudly, and admitted that was a new one on him, as we happy unmasked.
As a caring person, I allowed certain pets to be allowed at work during exercises ... those owned by off-base singles who would otherwise have to be abandoned to their fate for several days.
I thus tasked a WRAF Cpl to perform the sniff test using her caged gerbil.
The TACEVAL Umpire present laughed loudly, and admitted that was a new one on him, as we happy unmasked.
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Once had a call out at an ungodly hour when I was on a training course at a certain training establishment outside Weston Super Mud. We'd been pre warned by the course staff the day before, as the entire class were all JT and above from other stations there had been a hypothetical discussion around what a wonderful place this training station was but in the event of a war we would of course have to return to our home units by the fastest route.
So when the hooter went off we rolled over and went back to sleep until breakfast time, whence we strolled down to the mess in civvies. When we got stopped by a shiney Flt Sgt who wanted to know what we were doing the response was "about 70 up the M5/M6 on our way back to Kinloss / Leuchars / Coningsby..."
Then there were the Tacevals at Lossie in the 80's, the first on the day of the raft race and the second when the entire station was boltholed because they were digging the runway up
Then at 7:30 the hooter went again to announce the exercise was suspended, and would resume after the normal days training was completed at 17:30. Funnily enough we finished early that day and were in Weston by 17:30...
So when the hooter went off we rolled over and went back to sleep until breakfast time, whence we strolled down to the mess in civvies. When we got stopped by a shiney Flt Sgt who wanted to know what we were doing the response was "about 70 up the M5/M6 on our way back to Kinloss / Leuchars / Coningsby..."
Then there were the Tacevals at Lossie in the 80's, the first on the day of the raft race and the second when the entire station was boltholed because they were digging the runway up
Then at 7:30 the hooter went again to announce the exercise was suspended, and would resume after the normal days training was completed at 17:30. Funnily enough we finished early that day and were in Weston by 17:30...
Thread Starter
The mention of Memmingen brings back a memory whilst on 8Sqn. We were used by DISTAFF to test unit responses to a defecting Russian aircraft. With Soviet speakers on the sqn it gave a degree of authenticity to the exercise. Contact, approach and landing were carried out using them. We would be directed to a safe area of the airfield for interrogation. The crew on board would play a mixture of good Russkie and bad Russkie;it was up to the host force to find out who was who.
We deployed to Furstenfeldbruck on the Friday and spent a very enjoyable weekend in S Germany. I'd had a dodgy dinner on Sunday and was decidedly poorly throughout Monday.
Anyhoo, we landed at Memmingen, taxied in and shut down. As the AGE, I was allowed to deplane to fit the undercarriage locks then stand back to ensure no damage was caused to the airframe by overenthusiastic security staff.
Two of my groundcrew had volunteered to take part: One of whom was equipped with a pistol hidden in his groin area - a baddie!He was allowed to disembark
and was patted down by an armed guard;who missed the pistol. A little later he indicated to his guard that he desperately needed to relieve himself. Given permission, he turned his back, opened the zip of his flying suit and was withdrawing the pistol when he was spotted. The guard threw him face down, stood on his back then from a range of about two feet fired into him. There was a piercing scream from my man then stunned silence as the gathered throng realised what had just happened. Things happened very quickly from then: The scenario was shut down and my wounded man was attended to and taken to sick
quarters. Where he was treated.The offending article han't penetrated his skin so the area was cleaned and cream rubbed in and he was discharged!
We A/F and B/F'd the Shack and departed for Lossie only to find that they were on exercise and we were to be taking part! Trying their hand,the crew put in a call to Lossie Ops stating that they had, NODUFF, medical cases on board. One who had been shot and one suffering severe dehydration(me). Queried by Ops we confirmed our status and assumed we would be exempted the pain of a
Mineval.Not a frigging chance. Land, taxy to the tower where an ambulance will
take off your casualties;then continue to Sqn dispersal.
Me and my man were taken to SMC where the little rash around his wound had now spread all over his back. Turned out it was a reaction to the oil from the rifle.Other than more cream and the SMO threatening castration of the OIC at Memmingen,no further action was needed and afer filling me with salty liquid we were kept in overnight and sent home first thing with a sick note.Avoiding the rest of the mineval!
We deployed to Furstenfeldbruck on the Friday and spent a very enjoyable weekend in S Germany. I'd had a dodgy dinner on Sunday and was decidedly poorly throughout Monday.
Anyhoo, we landed at Memmingen, taxied in and shut down. As the AGE, I was allowed to deplane to fit the undercarriage locks then stand back to ensure no damage was caused to the airframe by overenthusiastic security staff.
Two of my groundcrew had volunteered to take part: One of whom was equipped with a pistol hidden in his groin area - a baddie!He was allowed to disembark
and was patted down by an armed guard;who missed the pistol. A little later he indicated to his guard that he desperately needed to relieve himself. Given permission, he turned his back, opened the zip of his flying suit and was withdrawing the pistol when he was spotted. The guard threw him face down, stood on his back then from a range of about two feet fired into him. There was a piercing scream from my man then stunned silence as the gathered throng realised what had just happened. Things happened very quickly from then: The scenario was shut down and my wounded man was attended to and taken to sick
quarters. Where he was treated.The offending article han't penetrated his skin so the area was cleaned and cream rubbed in and he was discharged!
We A/F and B/F'd the Shack and departed for Lossie only to find that they were on exercise and we were to be taking part! Trying their hand,the crew put in a call to Lossie Ops stating that they had, NODUFF, medical cases on board. One who had been shot and one suffering severe dehydration(me). Queried by Ops we confirmed our status and assumed we would be exempted the pain of a
Mineval.Not a frigging chance. Land, taxy to the tower where an ambulance will
take off your casualties;then continue to Sqn dispersal.
Me and my man were taken to SMC where the little rash around his wound had now spread all over his back. Turned out it was a reaction to the oil from the rifle.Other than more cream and the SMO threatening castration of the OIC at Memmingen,no further action was needed and afer filling me with salty liquid we were kept in overnight and sent home first thing with a sick note.Avoiding the rest of the mineval!
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
Akrotiri the GDOC was in 5 Wg HQ on the road out of camp and shared with rocks and plods. NBC Black and the area the size of a large town all masked up. The All Clear was sounded and permission to unmask which everyone in the GDOC did without a thought.
Unfortunately the staish, Air Cdre Stacey, had let off tear gas canisters in the building.
At Endex, as we drove out the base, we saw every window open, curtains blowing in the wind. How we laughed.
Static Units
In 1977, someone, who should probably have known better, decided that 'static' units (ie non-flying) should be "Tacevalled".
So it came to pass that on my last duty day in the RAF I was duty NCO in the guardroom at Pitreavie Castle (I kid you not) when, at about 1900hrs or so, we were 'attacked' (one WO observer and two infiltrators, one male one female).
For those who don't know Pitreavie, it was a bloody great hole in the ground that (theoretically) could survive an overhead nuclear airburst by the 'upturned glass' principal and closing the huge steel doors.
Anyway, this exercise went on for a while, intruders captured, escorted up the long entrance road and released to start again. At one stage, the female intruder had been captured and brought to the guardroom, whereupon she disarmed the luckless RAFP guy, locked the door and held us all hostage. I was making coffee for the WO obs who was almost wetting himself trying not to laugh. Next thing we are lying on the floor, me thinking "I've got about twelve hours left in the RAF, what the hell am I doing?", when there is a bang and we are covered in bits of glass. My DSM, a Sgt, who had become guard commander, had decided if we are going to play silly bgrs. lets play ! So he had broken one of the windows, trained his rifle on the lass standing totally gobsmacked and told her to open the door, thereby we were liberated. I tell you, you couldn't make it up.
By this time I had just about had it so explained my situation to the OIC who let me go home on the 0800hrs bus back to Turnhouse. Probably thought (correctly) that I really wasn't taking it seriously.
One thing that did come out of it was that, although the underground complex was sealed off, there was a Lamsen tube connection to the Met office on the surface. One of the intruders (who obviously were experienced at this) had sussed this and sent a tube to Ops containing a bit of paper with the word Bomb written on it !!
So it came to pass that on my last duty day in the RAF I was duty NCO in the guardroom at Pitreavie Castle (I kid you not) when, at about 1900hrs or so, we were 'attacked' (one WO observer and two infiltrators, one male one female).
For those who don't know Pitreavie, it was a bloody great hole in the ground that (theoretically) could survive an overhead nuclear airburst by the 'upturned glass' principal and closing the huge steel doors.
Anyway, this exercise went on for a while, intruders captured, escorted up the long entrance road and released to start again. At one stage, the female intruder had been captured and brought to the guardroom, whereupon she disarmed the luckless RAFP guy, locked the door and held us all hostage. I was making coffee for the WO obs who was almost wetting himself trying not to laugh. Next thing we are lying on the floor, me thinking "I've got about twelve hours left in the RAF, what the hell am I doing?", when there is a bang and we are covered in bits of glass. My DSM, a Sgt, who had become guard commander, had decided if we are going to play silly bgrs. lets play ! So he had broken one of the windows, trained his rifle on the lass standing totally gobsmacked and told her to open the door, thereby we were liberated. I tell you, you couldn't make it up.
By this time I had just about had it so explained my situation to the OIC who let me go home on the 0800hrs bus back to Turnhouse. Probably thought (correctly) that I really wasn't taking it seriously.
One thing that did come out of it was that, although the underground complex was sealed off, there was a Lamsen tube connection to the Met office on the surface. One of the intruders (who obviously were experienced at this) had sussed this and sent a tube to Ops containing a bit of paper with the word Bomb written on it !!