Then there was the time at Lossie when the nuclear survival rations were all issued forward.
OC Rats & Cats at Suphpholk's phinest phighter base was a wise old cove about such matters. So when the pre-positiong of post-strike austerity rations bit of the War Plan was reached, he dispatched catering sized cans of green beans....
....not even the groundcrew were tempted by them!
Being appointed as an exercise planner was wonderful licence for arranging suitable hooliganism. A query to the Reds revealed that they were due to transit back from Holland on the day of our Pratteval, so were quite happy to agree to my request to rush over Wattisham trailing smoke. We'd told Bluntishead whence they were coming and at what time, but even then they weren't intercepted by a single F-4. They caused mayhem; all ex-RAFG people yelled "Gas Gas Gas" in the approved manner and masked up; however, this was in the days of the S6 and no-one could hear what anyone else was saying. Down in the WOC, the Stn Cdr turned to the Gnd Def Cdr and said "Pass me the chemical defence section of the Station War Plan"....
"Err....there isn't one".
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN??""
"No chemical threat to the UK sir, 11 Gp have told us so"
"Well if the Reds can do it, so could the enemy - do something....NOW"
At which point we decided to close the incident and to raise it at the debrief, although I rang Red 1 to thank him for an excellent airfield attack which had fully met my aim.
At the debrief, when the Stn Cdr tried to belittle our carefully arranged 'chemical' attack by saying that there was no threat to the UK of such villainy, my trump card was to let him know that EX WINTEX, due in a couple of weeks, certainly did include such a threat. Whereupon he turned to Gnd Def Cdr and muttered "I trust you weren't planning on any leave in the next few weeks?".....
But no-one queried why those blunt buggers at Neatishead had failed to intercept the incoming raid when they knew the precise time and direction of arrival of the 10 bright red Hawks coming from Holland on an international flight plan......
