"No - really - I wasn't chopped - honestly!"

[ACW599]

Or the variant form:

"What's your mother's Christian name, Bloggs?"

"Betty, Sir"

"Well, Betty Bloggs's son, you're chopped".

[frodo_monkey]

Probably apocryphal, but the best one I heard (and I suspect it would be from Valley):

QFI: "Bloggs, this is how much capacity you need to be a fast-jet pilot in the Royal Air Force."

(draws large 18" square on whiteboard)

"This is how much capacity you have."

(draws 1" square inside previous 18" square)

"Bloggs, you will never be a fast-jet pilot."

Cue Bloggs probably blubbing, and with good reason!

[Pontius Navigator]

The Vulcan, allegedly a 4-jet advanced trainer for pilots that couldn't be let out on their own. Anyway this u/t copilot couldn't hack it and had the one-sided sympathy interview with the CI.

Later, same stude, spitting feathers, is clearing his room in the mess - yes his posting was that quick - slung his OCU notes in the dustbin.

He then had a second one-sided and less sympathetic interview with the CI.

[Dan Winterland]

How I got to hear I wasn't going to be a Fighter Pilot.

Boss: "Well Plt Off Winterland, you can either be a truckie or a smoking hole on a hillside. Your choice".

Me: ''Er, I'll be a truckie''.

Boss: "Good choice".

[airborne_artist]

Self-suspensions are equally rare

I was that aviator. About half-way through BFT(H) on 705 at Culdrose I decided I'd gone far enough. I didn't really like the donkey being turned off in a helo - there's little enough keeping the dammed thing flying without removing the power-source, but I was a pretty crap baby officer, in all reality, with far too little life experience having gone from boarding school to Dartmouth with only eight months in between.

It cost me £350 to get out. I tried asking to be re-streamed as an Hydrographer, but they insisted I re-did all/some of BRNC, and I wouldn't have it.

It wasn't a totally negative experience of life in uniform. Less than 18 months later I was a badged part-time Hooligan, and thus became (I think) the first BRNC grad to wear a pair of Stirling's wings. Two hundred and seventy-three started my Selection and nine passed

On much reflection I was too immature at nineteen/twenty for what I had chosen. If I'd done things the other way about, and headed for the RN after a few years in a beige beret I reckon I'd have hacked it more easily.

I wasn't a bad aviator - my last trip was with Trevor L******d (then a trapper) and he was good enough to give me an A- for the ride, but I just wasn't enough of an adult at the time for all that went with it.

[BEagle]

Fg Off Winterland found the co-pilot's seat of large aircraft much more to his liking........

[Neptunus Rex]

Good one Beags!
With those attributes, The Hutt should have been on Shacks.

[cornish-stormrider]

beags, that is mighty funny for an old git - now do tell. When Star Wars was released back in 77 did you get an OAP discount?

To all those who took being chopped like men, found a new niche and made a name for themselves well done.

To all those who got chopped and whined like a bitch about it, at least you had the chance to try, got some stick time before you were chopped.

There are thousands out here that would have killed for the chance to try.


Me included - apparently the RAF doesn't recruit speccy blind gits as pilots - as my last instructor pilot said to me - "tis a shame youre a blind one chubby, you're not totally ******* inept at this aviating malarkey"

I take it as a compliment, I just wish I could remember his name...

[BEagle]

beags, that is mighty funny for an old git - now do tell. When Star Wars was released back in 77 did you get an OAP discount?

Cheeky sod - the large, hairy orange creature was a good squadron mate of mine - now flying airliners in the Orient.

Actually, I have far better memories of 1977 than 'Star Wars'. After Aircrew Reselection interviews at Biggin, I asked for a holding slot on the unit rather than lingering around the OM like a bad smell. Which was quite fun. Playing blunties was rather enjoyable at times, plus the unit permanent staff were a cheerful bunch, unlike some of the OASC miseries.

One happy day I was told that I'd been reselected to Vulcans and that this would be preceded by a short refresher course on the JP at Leeming. So, on Boat Race day, I packed all my worldly possessions into the car (again - but the MG Midget I'd had at whilst at Wittering on 58 Sqn had been replaced by a Fiat 128SL coupe by then) and set off across London for the A1.

SORF Leeming was huge fun; top banter from various Wg Cdrs refreshing before taking up Sqn Cdr slots and much rushing about Yorkshire at nought foot six! Bugger all 'lead in' for the Tin Triangle, but epic fun! A few weeks later it was back down the A1 to Sunny Scampton (in a little more comfort as the Fiat 128SL Coupe had been replaced by an Opel Manta Berlinetta) - and into the rather dour Officers Mess. A few weeks later I popped into the bar for a quick pre-prandial beer and fell into conversation with a Plt Off navigator, who told me that he and his 2 chums were looking for a 4th to share a house. All thoughts of dinner forgotten, we drove to his place and the 4 of us were soon in the local pub. Next day some paperwork, quickly signed by the boss, then I moved out over the Easter weekend.

Next followed 2 of the best years of my undistinguished RAF career! So thank you to the staff of the Buccaneer OCU for having chopped me, releasing me to the extremely enjoyable lifestyle of a late-1970s Vulcan pilot!

Now godfather to said Plt Off navigator's son!

[Pontius Navigator]

Originally Posted by BEagle

I popped into the bar for a quick pre-prandial beer

Ah, those were the days. Even earlier, before the OCU moved, we often popped into the bar for a pre-prandial and oozed out of the bar around 1.30
INTO BROAD SUNLIGHT.

The bar was so dark it was easy to forget it was a lunchtime session.

[Chimbu chuckles]

26er

My FTS course in 50/51 had as our flight commander on Harvards, a very steady chap with DSO, DFC & Bar (Flt Lt Geof Bray). We all wanted to go on multis and eventually a few took the Wellington OCU route, and one even disappeared to the kipper fleet where before being used as a driver airframe one had to learn real navigation on white painted Lancasters. But about two months before graduation Geoff was posted and the new guy, Flt Lt Dean Jones, was a fighter boy through and through. There was a complete change of attitude. He arranged for six Meteors of his old unit to visit us at Ternhill, the smell of avtag was injected into our veins and seven of us went to Valley to become starry eyed killers.

What became of Plt Offs Perry, Smallwood, Price and Lawrence and Sgt Pilots Jones and White?

26er Plt Off Perry is my father. He flew the Meatbox and Vampire, bailed out of one into the Bristol Channel (if memory serves). Emigrated to Australia in mid 50s and joined the RAAF where he flew Lincoln (operationally in Malaya) and C47s among others. Joined TAA in 1961, QF in 1966 and retired from QF on the 747-200 in 1987.

He is alive and well...and recently became a Great Grandfather

PM me if you would like his email addy.

[madlandrover]

I was a pretty crap baby officer, in all reality, with far too little life experience having gone from boarding school to Dartmouth with only eight months in between.

Much the same here, albeit a few years later on. Chopped at the end of EFT (low level nav a bit iffy, I tended to sit and watch the world go by...) and learnt a lesson or 2 about the process. Now teaching PPL/CPL/ME etc and understanding what's so annoying about an indecisive student!!

[parabellum]

A bit of education please. I 'did' Biggin Hill in 1964 so I am familiar with Aircrew Aptitude testing but what is Aircrew Re-Selection, is it just a 'career path adjustment' exercise or do you have to do all the tests all over again? (Ex Pongo, so never came across it before BEags post).

[Lou Scannon]

I often think back some fifty years and wonder what happened to some of the really good chaps at ITS and flying training who, in the opinion of the directing staff, should be excused all further excitement.(In later years and with more experience I would have scrubbed some of the staff!)).

John Rothwell, Chas Hobbs at ITS. Chris Dent, Mike Banks and others at Syerston.

Hope they all made it out of the RAF.

[Rakshasa]

I worked very briefly with lad a few years ago who had the misfortune to come down with meningitis while holding for Valley and then had medical complications that put an end to any hope of a flying career. Must be bloody awful to wonder what might have been.

[BEagle]

parabellum, aircrew re-selection didn't require any further aptitude testing, although we were asked to trial a couple of prototype tests under development by the trick-cyclists. This wasn't subterfuge as the test papers bore no names or references.

It was mainly a series of interviews, attitude assessments and board reviews. Whilst I (and others) were there after bonging the Bucc OCU, other mates from the Lightning and Harrier OCUs were also there, together with people from the whole spectrum of RAF aircrew training - including those who'd been chooped before solo-ing on the Chipmunk. The ex-Harrier mate could fly the jet fine, but told us that he was cr@p at navigating - his 'heading and time' flying on the JP, Gnat and Hunter had been so accurate that he'd always been scored highly, but they only found out that his 'free' navigation wasn't up to snuff when he was on the Harrier. But he was re-selected to the F4 OCU which suited him just fine.

Some took the option to leave, whilst others opted for a branch change.

Normally the first few interviews took place soon after arrival; you were then supposed to go on gardening leave or hang around the Officers Mess whilst the board did its work - this could take weeks. However, I marched into my bosses office and told him that I wanted something useful to do, so I had a few weeks of enjoyable bluntness acting as Dep OC GD Flt and Dep Families Officer. The latter was quite fun as I used to infuriate the Barrack Warden by being very lenient on march-outs. I dismissed a large stain on the floor of some Wg Cdr's bedroom carpet as being 'normal wear and tear' and the Barrack Warden nearly went into low earth orbit.....then I found the Wg Cdr's wife on her hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor, so I merely told the Barrack Warden "Kitchen - fine" because I didn't think it fitting for senior officers' wives to have to scrub floors just to pass a march out. Neither did I take more than a cursory glance at her cooker. Power is great fun when you can abuse it for the benefit of others! But when the real Families Officer came back from leave, she was 'rather surprised' at what I'd done

We 'reselectees' were full Mess Members, of course. One day there was a vote about when Dining-In nights should be held. Many of the bean-stealers wanted them on Thursdays, so they could slink off home with their hangovers on Fridays. Of course we all turned up at the Mess Meeting and voted firmly for Friday night Dining-Ins - the beanstealers were livid but the PMC thought it was highly amusing and announced that Dining-In nights would continue to be held on Fridays...

[Fitter2]

Yes, Beags, the conscious abuse of power in a righteous cause can give more satisfaction than most things the service life can inflict.

[Fareastdriver]

There is no point in having power unless you can abuse it!

[Neptunus Rex]

Quite right BEags.

At Honington in the early '70s, accommodation was split between the main Officers' Mess building and some grotty huts at the back. There were several beanstealers living in the splendid rooms in the main Mess. Then I was appointed Mess Secretary. I checked the Warning In/Out book, and found that the beanstealers were, on average, spending over 30% of the time away from the Mess. I drafted a points system, whereby the bachelor officers were awarded points according to rank, seniority and the number of weeks living in the huts. Married officers - nil points. The PMC and Staish approved, so the beanstealers were evicted and several happy bachelors took up residence. I was a bachelor, but 'lived out' in a magnificent pad in the country, so I had no axe to grind.

[fincastle84]

NR

Then I was appointed Mess Secretary

Were you still a career officer in those days? (or should I transfer this to the 'Banter' thread??????