RIAT Colours Parade - echos of the Great Escape
Red On, Green On
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Isn't it time the RAF contractorised this kind of activity? It's not exactly core business any more, is it?
An enterprising business could hire in 17-20 y/o spacies for a few days training before the big day and pay them the minimum wage. Think of the savings
I might suggest it. Do you think I'd get promoted?
An enterprising business could hire in 17-20 y/o spacies for a few days training before the big day and pay them the minimum wage. Think of the savings
I might suggest it. Do you think I'd get promoted?
.
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I posted this memory on 'another' site some time ago. Could explain the reason the guys are locked up at Innsworth.
Quote
Late '70's at an 'aerodrome somewhere in England'.
The Boss (and I mean THE BOSS) was coming to make sure that we were looking after the aeroplanes and other bits and bobs she had loaned us.
The Staish thought it was time for his Other Buggers Efforts and so decided to put on a show. A Royal Guard of Honour came top in his list of bullsh*t.
Joe the SWO trawls the unit for blokes who were 6 feet tall (not 5'11", not 6'1", he wants an Other Buggers Efforts too) to make up the main cast of this performance.
Through an accident of birth, my oppo and myself satisfied Joe's requirements (and being a pair of prats by not hiding or limping ) we found ourselves on a shortlist of 2 to join Joe's Chorus Line.
Now, my oppo was (and still is) a bit of an imbiber of most things alcoholic (he draws the line at Toilet Duck), he also appreciates being allowed to gently enter the world of sobriety in the mornings, no sudden movements etc etc.
To his horror (and to the rest of us) Joe and the Staish decided upon practice, practice, practice weeks before the main event. To make matters worse, the practices were to take place at first sparrow's fart, so's not to deny us the pleasure of a full day at work afterwards.
Oppo did not take kindly to this. His personal time to recover from the reveries of the previous night were severely curtailed. His efforts at the rehearsals for Joe SWO's Royal Variety Performance were not good. His efforts at 'Present Arms' would have made Corporal (Dad's Army) Jones look like a Coldstream Guardsman.
Joe thought he was taking the pi$$, not realising that oppo was recovering from the pi$$.
Slowly it began to dawn on oppo, that perhaps to avoid more severe listening-to's and other threats from Joe and after all, it was for THE BOSS. (Oppo was a great fan of THE BOSS). that he should curtail his nightly intake and perhaps take up cocoa for the duration instead.
The transformation was dramatic!! A figure of immaculate military bearing arose from the ashes, the Staish smiled, Joe SWO smiled even Joe's dog smiled. Sod the Other Buggers Efforts they thought, this means Knighthoods all round. Arise Sir Staish, Arise Sir Joe SWO. I swear you could see it in their eyes.
Come the final Full Dress Rehearsal. Brigade of Guards, QCS, b@llocks to the lot of you, nobody could beat us, we were good.
So good in fact that the Staish invited the members of the Royal Guard of Honour to have a small alcoholic refreshment (at his expense) to thank us for our efforts (oh, and also to put the fear of God up us just in case it went wrong).
After drinkies and associated small talk 'it's Ma'am as in ham, not Ma'am as in farm' etc served up by Mrs (soon to be Lady) Staish. We were sent on our way to prepare for the Main Event the following morning.
Oppo, now rather pleased with himself, full of military bearing (and two halves of Staish's beer) decides that a pleasant pre-Royal evening in the company of the NAAFI'S finest barmaids is perfectly in order. Thankfully, I had a prior engagement with the future Mrs Taxydual so had to decline his kind offer of an evening of fine wines and glistening conversation.
I imagine, gentle reader, you can guess the rest.
Come the morn, you have never seen anything like it. 6' of military bearing converted into a potato sack. There were no two pounds of him hanging straight. His breath would have killed small children. His eyes had to be seen to be believed. 'There's life, Jim, but not as we know it'.
It went steadily downhill from there on in.
The March-on he stumbled. The Royal Salute he fumbled.
Then the crowning glory. During the Inspection came a barely audible bubbling noise followed an odour of such grossness that no-one could miss it for what it was. Oppo had sh*t himself. The looks of horror on the faces of the great and the good was spectacular. As to THE BOSS, she didn't turn a hair and carried on if nothing had happened. She knew though, oh she knew. I saw, for a fleeting second the look in her face as she passed me. "Tommo's sh*t himself again".
Where are you Tommo? If the telling of this doesn't force you out of hiding, nothing will.
Unquote.
Quote
Late '70's at an 'aerodrome somewhere in England'.
The Boss (and I mean THE BOSS) was coming to make sure that we were looking after the aeroplanes and other bits and bobs she had loaned us.
The Staish thought it was time for his Other Buggers Efforts and so decided to put on a show. A Royal Guard of Honour came top in his list of bullsh*t.
Joe the SWO trawls the unit for blokes who were 6 feet tall (not 5'11", not 6'1", he wants an Other Buggers Efforts too) to make up the main cast of this performance.
Through an accident of birth, my oppo and myself satisfied Joe's requirements (and being a pair of prats by not hiding or limping ) we found ourselves on a shortlist of 2 to join Joe's Chorus Line.
Now, my oppo was (and still is) a bit of an imbiber of most things alcoholic (he draws the line at Toilet Duck), he also appreciates being allowed to gently enter the world of sobriety in the mornings, no sudden movements etc etc.
To his horror (and to the rest of us) Joe and the Staish decided upon practice, practice, practice weeks before the main event. To make matters worse, the practices were to take place at first sparrow's fart, so's not to deny us the pleasure of a full day at work afterwards.
Oppo did not take kindly to this. His personal time to recover from the reveries of the previous night were severely curtailed. His efforts at the rehearsals for Joe SWO's Royal Variety Performance were not good. His efforts at 'Present Arms' would have made Corporal (Dad's Army) Jones look like a Coldstream Guardsman.
Joe thought he was taking the pi$$, not realising that oppo was recovering from the pi$$.
Slowly it began to dawn on oppo, that perhaps to avoid more severe listening-to's and other threats from Joe and after all, it was for THE BOSS. (Oppo was a great fan of THE BOSS). that he should curtail his nightly intake and perhaps take up cocoa for the duration instead.
The transformation was dramatic!! A figure of immaculate military bearing arose from the ashes, the Staish smiled, Joe SWO smiled even Joe's dog smiled. Sod the Other Buggers Efforts they thought, this means Knighthoods all round. Arise Sir Staish, Arise Sir Joe SWO. I swear you could see it in their eyes.
Come the final Full Dress Rehearsal. Brigade of Guards, QCS, b@llocks to the lot of you, nobody could beat us, we were good.
So good in fact that the Staish invited the members of the Royal Guard of Honour to have a small alcoholic refreshment (at his expense) to thank us for our efforts (oh, and also to put the fear of God up us just in case it went wrong).
After drinkies and associated small talk 'it's Ma'am as in ham, not Ma'am as in farm' etc served up by Mrs (soon to be Lady) Staish. We were sent on our way to prepare for the Main Event the following morning.
Oppo, now rather pleased with himself, full of military bearing (and two halves of Staish's beer) decides that a pleasant pre-Royal evening in the company of the NAAFI'S finest barmaids is perfectly in order. Thankfully, I had a prior engagement with the future Mrs Taxydual so had to decline his kind offer of an evening of fine wines and glistening conversation.
I imagine, gentle reader, you can guess the rest.
Come the morn, you have never seen anything like it. 6' of military bearing converted into a potato sack. There were no two pounds of him hanging straight. His breath would have killed small children. His eyes had to be seen to be believed. 'There's life, Jim, but not as we know it'.
It went steadily downhill from there on in.
The March-on he stumbled. The Royal Salute he fumbled.
Then the crowning glory. During the Inspection came a barely audible bubbling noise followed an odour of such grossness that no-one could miss it for what it was. Oppo had sh*t himself. The looks of horror on the faces of the great and the good was spectacular. As to THE BOSS, she didn't turn a hair and carried on if nothing had happened. She knew though, oh she knew. I saw, for a fleeting second the look in her face as she passed me. "Tommo's sh*t himself again".
Where are you Tommo? If the telling of this doesn't force you out of hiding, nothing will.
Unquote.
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#6 (permalink) snapper41
Join Date: Oct 2005
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The point is that we are a military service, and we are being awarded a new Colour by our Sovereign (whom we serve). Do you think that we should just shamble up to her, say 'thanks for the new flag' and shamble away again? Also, it's a chance to show ourselves off to the public (whom we also serve). You must remember the public - the ones who are bemoaned on pprune so often for not knowing who we are or what we do? Think about it - it's about having some pride in who we are and what we do.
And before we start the 'what about overstretch' agument - did anyone see Trooping the Colour last month? The Army are far more stretched than us; just try suggesting to them that they scrap the annual event. Ask any of those that were on the parade if they think it's a waste of time.
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Norfolk
Posts: 274
The point is that we are a military service, and we are being awarded a new Colour by our Sovereign (whom we serve). Do you think that we should just shamble up to her, say 'thanks for the new flag' and shamble away again? Also, it's a chance to show ourselves off to the public (whom we also serve). You must remember the public - the ones who are bemoaned on pprune so often for not knowing who we are or what we do? Think about it - it's about having some pride in who we are and what we do.
And before we start the 'what about overstretch' agument - did anyone see Trooping the Colour last month? The Army are far more stretched than us; just try suggesting to them that they scrap the annual event. Ask any of those that were on the parade if they think it's a waste of time.
Tell me are you some Pilot Officer or the likes that actually believes that last line, that the troops like to do parades, whilst getting confined to base like some immature school kids and at all that???? no wonder there is such a movement of personnel out of the RAF.
All the parades I had to do in the RAF were a waste of time and money...... Standing in a bloody row for HRH this and HRH that to walk past on the way to a plane was not what I would call Moral building, more like Moral sapping..... I remember someone getting charged for having unpolished Buttons on his Uniform (staybright) after comments from the chain smoking Lush....
Most people go to RIAT to see aircraft flying and displayed, not to watch a flag ceremony.......
Surely she could simply pop it in the post, or get one of those Government people to deliver it in person
, you never know it might actually get through.......
Speaking of parades, I can still remember the face on the SWO at a certain station in the South of England when I put in a redressal and requested to see the AOC on his visit......
Pressure was being used to get me to drop it until I said to OC Admin that I would march Smartly out onto the CO's parade straight up to the AOC and demand my interview, pointing out it had been denied me...it went through .......
Now not one to let some tinpot despot not let me have my legitimate moan
and after not getting a decent answer I Promptly redressed the AOC in the interview, that caused a few dropped jaws 
what rankled was that all I got was a piece of bloody paper from further up the food chain, not the answer I was looking for and preventing me from getting a proper answer and being able to take it further.........
Last edited by NutLoose; 3rd Jul 2008 at 16:41.
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Or to be sure that all involved are focussed, fresh and sober enough to put a decent effort into practicing a parade for HM The Queen?
BEagle
A lot less aircraft, 144 R.A.F. Meteors and 24 R.C.A.F. Sabres and unlike current royal flypasts that approach Buckingham Palace flying along The Mall from East to West, the Coronation flypast flew South to North. The run-in started at Bexhill-on-Sea on the the coast, then Biggin Hill, Westminster/St. James’s Park, Regent's Park and then broke up to go home.
This meant that the assorted coronet wearing royals on the Buckingham Palace balcony must have been like the crowd on the side-lines at Wimbledon: eyes right-left; right-left; right left and so on until all 168 aircraft had passed.
And this was only 6 weeks after the almost as impressive Coronation flypast.
This meant that the assorted coronet wearing royals on the Buckingham Palace balcony must have been like the crowd on the side-lines at Wimbledon: eyes right-left; right-left; right left and so on until all 168 aircraft had passed.
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Got 2 lads of the shift dicked for this crap , I have no doubt there will be 2 PVRs on the bosses desk when they return.
While we have 300 surplus AAMs on shift , The only 2 rigger techs we had the choice of using for squadron work and keeping the fleet airborne have been nobbled to do this pish for 2 weeks !!!
Well just to add to there misery may as well dick them for a xmas gulf stint , its not the fair force anymore
While we have 300 surplus AAMs on shift , The only 2 rigger techs we had the choice of using for squadron work and keeping the fleet airborne have been nobbled to do this pish for 2 weeks !!!
Well just to add to there misery may as well dick them for a xmas gulf stint
, its not the fair force anymore
On Friday 11 July 2008 around 5,000 guests have been invited to the private event at the Royal International Air Tattoo (RIAT) at RAF Fairford where the new Queen's Colours will be presented to both the Royal Air Force and the Royal Air Force Regiment.The ceremony will begin with a Royal Salute and a flypast by four Typhoons from RAF Coningsby in Lincolnshire and will also include a mass flyby of around 90 aircraft from throughtout the history of the Royal Airforce.This event will be the largest staged since the Queen conducted a Silver Jubilee review of the RAF at RAF Finningley in south Yorkshire in 1977 and is taking place the day before the main public two days at RAF Fairford where tens of thousands of people are expected to show up.
Group Captain Tony Barmby, the RAF project officer for the Queen's Colours presentation event, said: "For most RAF personnel, involvement in such a parade is a once-in-a-career experience.
"It would be easy to let the ceremonial aspects of the day eclipse the direct and hugely important link to current operations. As the historical rallying point in battle, the Queen's Colours represent that link.
"I'm very proud to have the chance to play a part," said Group Captain Barmby.
Group Captain Tony Barmby, the RAF project officer for the Queen's Colours presentation event, said: "For most RAF personnel, involvement in such a parade is a once-in-a-career experience.
"It would be easy to let the ceremonial aspects of the day eclipse the direct and hugely important link to current operations. As the historical rallying point in battle, the Queen's Colours represent that link.
"I'm very proud to have the chance to play a part," said Group Captain Barmby.
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I was on quite a number of parades while I was in,
and if you are standing in the ranks they are a complete pain in the ****, anyone who finds the ceremony uplifting needs to get out more, or buy themselvs a box of toy soldiers to play with.
An antiquated waste of valuable manpower, that has a tendency to add straws to camels' backs.
and if you are standing in the ranks they are a complete pain in the ****, anyone who finds the ceremony uplifting needs to get out more, or buy themselvs a box of toy soldiers to play with.
An antiquated waste of valuable manpower, that has a tendency to add straws to camels' backs.
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I didn't realise RIAT was an RAF event (although organised by RAFBT) to the extent that they could hi-jack what used to be a great corporate day, whilst the various display teams conducted their practices and the guests could have a good wander around the visiting aircraft whilst there were no hoards of the public to get in their way. I wonder if the corporate guests realise they are going to be coralled into attending this parade...whether they like it or not!
Pontius
Rant on...
I suspect he has had pressure applied from his CO to ensure no adverse press from the potential of a drunken idiot going berserk in Cheltenham? But unless we trust our people and treat them like adults, only punishing when they screw up, then we are going to keep losing people to PVR and ORD. The "2 can" rule and removing the PR threat of bad behaviour is indicative of the culturally bereft way of thinking within the current RAF and its senior leadership. Unfortunately, when we went through the transition in the 90s of there being 'no place in the RAF for the eccentric and war-leader style officers of the past' (Bader, Gibson, et al) we are now reaping the whirlwind. The spineless jellyfish that climb over each other to get to the top cannot lead people and then have to do 'leadership by numbers' as they have no natural talent to fall back on - often creating ill-feeling amongst those serving for, or with, them at the same time. The "2 can" rule, evening curfew and "no you can't stay with your family even though they live 5 minutes away" is de-rigeur in the modern RAF and I opine that it is the selection process for our upper echelons that is the root cause.
When I'm in charge it will all be different
Rant off...
Meanwhile back to the Planet LJ...
Rant on...
I suspect he has had pressure applied from his CO to ensure no adverse press from the potential of a drunken idiot going berserk in Cheltenham? But unless we trust our people and treat them like adults, only punishing when they screw up, then we are going to keep losing people to PVR and ORD. The "2 can" rule and removing the PR threat of bad behaviour is indicative of the culturally bereft way of thinking within the current RAF and its senior leadership. Unfortunately, when we went through the transition in the 90s of there being 'no place in the RAF for the eccentric and war-leader style officers of the past' (Bader, Gibson, et al) we are now reaping the whirlwind. The spineless jellyfish that climb over each other to get to the top cannot lead people and then have to do 'leadership by numbers' as they have no natural talent to fall back on - often creating ill-feeling amongst those serving for, or with, them at the same time. The "2 can" rule, evening curfew and "no you can't stay with your family even though they live 5 minutes away" is de-rigeur in the modern RAF and I opine that it is the selection process for our upper echelons that is the root cause.
When I'm in charge it will all be different
Rant off...
Meanwhile back to the Planet LJ...
Last edited by Lima Juliet; 3rd Jul 2008 at 21:01. Reason: speelling
AIDU
More times than I've had hot dinners(Montpellier Wine Bar, etc... every Fri/Sat night for 3 years). Isn't your picture of a great night out in nearby Gloucester?
LJ
For the ill-educated here is a picture of Montpellier Wine Bar...cracking cl@cker!
You haven't been to Cheltenham have you leon?
LJ
For the ill-educated here is a picture of Montpellier Wine Bar...cracking cl@cker!
Last edited by Lima Juliet; 3rd Jul 2008 at 21:39. Reason: add piccy