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My beautiful Weber!

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My beautiful Weber!

Old 26th May 2006, 15:22
  #81 (permalink)  
brickhistory
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Sonovabi*ch!

I come back from a four month TDY - left in January, expecting to come back to my tried and true 100% manual Weber and enjoy the early summer - but something's wrong....

I loved that grill. He and I had grown into manhood together. I knew his faults and he put up with mine. We were comfortable and enjoyed the ritual of prepping the coals, dousing heavily with fluid, the indescrible joy of lighting the stack with a satisfying "whoompf!" and then having to monitor, with mint julep, old fashioned, or mojito in hand, the thing until the coals had achieved the perfect hue to throw meat onto the rack. Then demonstrating the masculine propensity to char steak or other dead animal to just the right degree.

My wife got rid of it while I was gone! No asking, no consultation, just a blatant disrespect for my territory.

Then to add insult to injury, she had replaced a perfectly servicible Weber with the wobbly leg and patches of rust (distinguished looking to me, an eyesore to her!) with another new Weber.

Ok, what's done is done. At least I can still grill now that I'm back.

But, she got one with a oh-so-gay propane start! Luckily for me, Mrs. Brick couldn't get the fiddly bits hooked up, so now I am the proud owner of a new Weber that has the damn propane starter disconnected and so it shall be forever!

Sonovabit*h!
 
Old 26th May 2006, 15:45
  #82 (permalink)  
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Nice one - this could all be the start of the 'Real Mans' institute, charcoal for ever!!!

Talking of which, Charlie, how many folk coming up for the booze-a-thon in a month?
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Old 26th May 2006, 16:22
  #83 (permalink)  
 
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B4igo,

If you wish to eat the best Turkey of your life....set the Barbie aside and buy yourself a Deep Fried Turkey setup. On top of it being so easy to do....and tasting so good....baby sitting the turkey while it cooks consists of tipping up your favorite brew.

One source of the kit is from Cabela's in Sidney, Nebraska. They have a website with catalogue at cabelas.com .

The basic recipe is dust the bird inside and out with flour seasoned with Cajun Seasoning, heat the oil till bird bubbles all the way in....six minutes per pound plus eighteen minutes. Remove, drain, slice, and eat. The hot grease sears the inside and exterior of the turkey and it remains as moist and juicy as anything you have ever had.

Purists use syringes to inject the gravy before cooking and similar tactics. The one real key is to keep the grease bubbling and completely covering the bird.

I did not believe this until I had my first taste of one....but it was and is the best way I have seen to do a turkey.

An alternative suggestion for the barbie....debone the turkey, put the stuffing inside the critter, sew it up so it resembles a Rubgy football. Roast till done and slice crossways from the end. Every slice has white and dark meat and stuffing. All one needs to do is add the gravy and trimming.
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Old 26th May 2006, 16:24
  #84 (permalink)  
 
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De-bone? Is that anything like coitus interruptus?
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Old 26th May 2006, 16:26
  #85 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: May 1999
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No doubt the Jockistanis would use it for deep-frying Mars bars ??
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Old 27th May 2006, 00:02
  #86 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
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The return of the convicts

Stbd
Now last week it was 2 crews + groundies and a few hangers on, I mean essential support staff including yours truly .
However, due to natives to the north having a pop at each other we are a bit busy, add to that keeping you boys safe in yer sandpit plans are up in the air at the mo should know more in a couple of days. Keep me seat at the bar clear.
Hopefully see you soon
Charlie sends
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Old 27th May 2006, 10:58
  #87 (permalink)  
 
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Thank heavens brickhistory resurrected this thread, albeit to tell his tale of woe. I was going to report that I have lately very nearly matched the Niazi standard of long ago using the Weber as a 'kebab machine' rather than a roasting device, which we usually use it for, and which it does superbly, but thought I would be branded a BOF, which is true enough no doubt.

And I hadn't responded to suggestion of Wolf Blaaaaas and VB being as good as Mudgee red and Coopers Sparkling; nearly, there is no bad Oz wine, or beer, once you get used to cold and fizzy, but not quite, in my opinion. And nothing to touch Keo from a green bottle and Kokkinelli, specially if it is included in the price. And does Kokkinelli go from delicious to diabolical in the time it takes to travel from Akrotiri to Lynham if you take a demijohn of it home?

Best of luck with the 'all singing, all dancing' Weber, brickhistory!
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Old 27th May 2006, 11:08
  #88 (permalink)  
 
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Indeed, Tim!

brickhistory, good to hear that you're going to unbolt the gas-fag bits and throw them away. Then out with the starter fluid and flirelighters...singed eyebrows, lots of fire and smoke until half an hour's drinking has passed, then on with the bits of dead beast!

Women - know your place! Stick with making the salad, doing the washing up and bringing more drinks. Man make fire, cook dead beast. Simple enough for your pretty little heads?

Here in Merrie Olde England, it is a bank holiday. Which means, of course, that the black oblate spherical rain maker is sitting forlornly on its tripod outside in the peeing rain wondering when it will next be lit!
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Old 27th May 2006, 11:46
  #89 (permalink)  
 
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Tim Mills,

As I recall, Kokinelli goes from wonderful to awful in the time it takes to get from Epi Village Tavern to Animal House. In fact, I suspect it may never have been all that good - what do you think?

Beags,

I have around 12 ex and current fast jet aircrew and their good ladies coming round for a BBQ - gay gas admittedly - cest soir. The heavens have opened and the patio is under half an inch of water. It must be a bank holiday. I do love summer in England. Mrs Max is busy mixing salad.
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Old 27th May 2006, 11:56
  #90 (permalink)  
 
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It is possible to revive 'well-travelled' kokkinelli.

You mix it in the ratio of 3 parts kokkinelli to 1 part metaxa 'brandy' (I use the word brandy loosely). Then dilute the resulting solution 2 parts kokkinelli/metaxa to 1 part water.

Well, it worked in 1977 - but the headaches were memorable as the ratios took a bit of tasting and testing!
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Old 27th May 2006, 12:59
  #91 (permalink)  

Yes, Him
 
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Erm, what is "salad"?
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Old 27th May 2006, 16:12
  #92 (permalink)  
 
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Roghead,

Hit the road and you could be here in about 4 hours. By then several drunks well known to you will be feeling no pain.

On second thoughts, there are several unattached ladies here tonight, it might be too much for the dicky ticker!!

And yes, I'd definitely count the Bucc and give the Canberra honorary membership.

As for the Outback grill, you'd get several shades of hell on this thread. I confessed to a gas Weber and I got stick. It was worse than when I wore a pink T-shirt under my flying suit.

Talk to you soon.

Enjoy watching England in the world cup on Scottish TV.
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Old 27th May 2006, 17:17
  #93 (permalink)  
 
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Erm, what is "salad"?

It is a distraction device intended to keep the fairer sex safely away from one's Weber. Because they are unable to cut open a bag of letteuce from Waitrose, throw in a hastily despatched tomato or few plus a couple of peppers hacked up with the biggest bloke-knife in the kitchen (whatever that is), they will tiddle about for hours trying to emulate whatever ar$e idea some TV-chef has come up with in the previous week. It probably involves some weird designer-veg found only in bloody Islington - and the whole thing will be dressed in the most expensive famous-name gloop available. They also view a half cucumber as something sinister about which you will snigger with your mates whilst making fire and blowing the froth.

Salad is, of course, the aircrew conscience needed before the annual bollock-fondling by some drunken quack in the Med Centre. It's a piece of piss to sort out:

1. Go to Waitrose, buy large bag of 'Mixed Salad'. Open same.
2. Also get a couple of peppers - one green, one red - some tomatoes and a cucumber. Chop coarsely (none of this slicing nonsense) and add to 1. Do NOT bugger about washing it - there's no need and it wastes time. Any subsequent gippy-tummy can soon be cured by either another beer or, if serious, 50:50 brandy and port.
3. DCO - but for added pose to impress, chuck in a few cashew nuts and some small cubes of cheddar.
4. Make a thermonuclear dressing from olive oil, chopped garlic, chilli flakes, English mustard and vinegar. Pretend it's an old family recipe which girls wouldn't understand.
5. Add 4 to 3 - then say it's "Getting in touch with one's feminine side". Absolute bolleaux and a complete lie, but it stops the wimmin complaining that you've taken over..... They can always talk about fluffy kittens or Rick Astley or somesuch female rubbish.

The whole process should take no more than 3-4 minutes - if you really need brownie points you could do this whilst quaffing and waiting for the charcoal to heat up. This will prove that not just girls can do multi-tasking........
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Old 28th May 2006, 01:29
  #94 (permalink)  
 
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Step 6

Beags you forgot step 6

From girlie mix up beer batter using Coopers Sparkling (at last a use for aussie beer) coat this Salad you talk off and deep fry .
Maybe all those years at ISK sent me ethnic .
Charlie sends
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Old 28th May 2006, 10:01
  #95 (permalink)  
 
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Weber Lid

After 2years of solid use the lid conked in at the base of the handle and began to rust. Emailed weber and I found a brand new lid delivered to my shed 3 days later.
That lid stayed in its box for 3 years as old one still worked, just decided to replace this year and Weber looks all shiney and new again, shame about the weather got to get it dirty.

Editid fore spilling
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Old 28th May 2006, 16:31
  #96 (permalink)  
 
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Looking forward to using my new wok on my weber. (Stainless 57 cm job; 30 from Burford Garden Centre!) Purists may hate the idea, but if nothing else, it justifies more time spent playing with fire - excellent!
Mange tout rodders...
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Old 29th May 2006, 08:12
  #97 (permalink)  
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Jeez - you're all GAY except Gainsey.

The only way to BBQ is with logs and real fire - not them poofter briquettes (even the word is a poofter french word).

Mines an old washing machine inner (the enameling and holes work wonderfully) with a goodly supply of real wooden logs - red gum or wandoo for intense flame, acacia for steady heat - and a piece of old metal lattice for the plate.

I also have a 6 burner gas barbie for the summer when we have fire restrictions. It also has a wok burner. This is just to prove that I can express my feminine side and I don't discriminate against gay people
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Old 29th May 2006, 08:46
  #98 (permalink)  
 
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Allan,

It all sounds terribly quaint and third world. How lovely.
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Old 29th May 2006, 09:22
  #99 (permalink)  
 
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The old swimming pool filter housing from the villa my late parents had in Menorca made a top twin-tub barbi' when split into 2 parts and concreted into a breeze block base, with stones piled around it to match the pool surround walls. But it was a bugger to get going - charcoal and wood to get it going in the third world manner described by allan-the-abbo - and about 3 beers later it would be roaring away.
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Old 29th May 2006, 12:54
  #100 (permalink)  
brickhistory
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Originally Posted by allan907
Mines an old washing machine inner.....
You had a washing machine?......luxury!
 

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