RAF Police
Join Date: Mar 2004
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Re: RAF Police
A wind up!
Oh, well, in that case I have never been on det where RAF Atsy have been taking notes on excessive alcohol intake by the crew. Nope, definately not.
And neither has my wife
Oh, well, in that case I have never been on det where RAF Atsy have been taking notes on excessive alcohol intake by the crew. Nope, definately not.
And neither has my wife
Join Date: Jul 1998
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Re: RAF Police
Once arrived back off route 02 Jan, found ticket on car because tax had run out 31/12. Ticket issued 01/01 at 0012hrs. Went to see Flt Sgt RAFP who took one look and ripped it in two. Don't worry Sir, I'll have a word.
Skip to May, Sunday am, location scratcher OM, attitude horizontal, 0700zzzzzz. Phone goes, Flt Cdr Exec, need 6A skipper. Not on 6A. I know but you're closest. When? NOW. Woffour. Blah Blah etc. 0745 sign auth sheet, walk out of sqn, wheel clamp. Go back in. 1hr later clamp off (two wheels in yellow lines, just. Fair cop you got me bang to rights guv, when does the AOC need to be there I nonchalantly ask of now iridescent aforementioned Flt Cdr. Shift motor to long stay (still no crew transport hence reason for driving in first place). Thought no more of it. 2 weeks later banned from keeping car on station for 2 MONTHS cos had 2 violations of SSOs. Fumph! Needless to say the Boss stepped in at this point. Coppers eh! THey know how to win wars, don't know why the rest of us bother to show up.
Skip to May, Sunday am, location scratcher OM, attitude horizontal, 0700zzzzzz. Phone goes, Flt Cdr Exec, need 6A skipper. Not on 6A. I know but you're closest. When? NOW. Woffour. Blah Blah etc. 0745 sign auth sheet, walk out of sqn, wheel clamp. Go back in. 1hr later clamp off (two wheels in yellow lines, just. Fair cop you got me bang to rights guv, when does the AOC need to be there I nonchalantly ask of now iridescent aforementioned Flt Cdr. Shift motor to long stay (still no crew transport hence reason for driving in first place). Thought no more of it. 2 weeks later banned from keeping car on station for 2 MONTHS cos had 2 violations of SSOs. Fumph! Needless to say the Boss stepped in at this point. Coppers eh! THey know how to win wars, don't know why the rest of us bother to show up.
Join Date: Mar 2004
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Re: RAF Police
On the subject of Coppers and wars.....
Pre Afghan campaign circa Oct 01, myself and some of my cronies were scanning through the big Orbat Op-order (or whatever it was called). You know the sort of thing........ ??? Sqn are to provide 6 Aircraft and 10 crews to deploy to blah by the 10 November 2001 etc.
The list was very lengthy starting with the punchy stuff then moving on to Movers and the like.
Finally at the bottom of the list it read - RAF Police in theatre are to be in possession of a spare notebook!
Now that's war fighting for you - their parents (if they have any) must be ever so proud
Pre Afghan campaign circa Oct 01, myself and some of my cronies were scanning through the big Orbat Op-order (or whatever it was called). You know the sort of thing........ ??? Sqn are to provide 6 Aircraft and 10 crews to deploy to blah by the 10 November 2001 etc.
The list was very lengthy starting with the punchy stuff then moving on to Movers and the like.
Finally at the bottom of the list it read - RAF Police in theatre are to be in possession of a spare notebook!
Now that's war fighting for you - their parents (if they have any) must be ever so proud
Join Date: Dec 2005
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Re: RAF Police
Hello all ,thought i would add to this one as i spent 7 years in the regiment and we really loved the RAFP as you know.
If anyone knows me hello to you, drop me a line,
Well my sqn was deployed at last min to Sierra Leone in 2000. At Lyneham those logical thinking scuffers insisted i put my SA80 through the scanning machine, just in case i had a weapon on me.........Er it is an assault rifle you know? just put it through was the angry response!
If anyone knows me hello to you, drop me a line,
Well my sqn was deployed at last min to Sierra Leone in 2000. At Lyneham those logical thinking scuffers insisted i put my SA80 through the scanning machine, just in case i had a weapon on me.........Er it is an assault rifle you know? just put it through was the angry response!
Join Date: Sep 2000
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Re: RAF Police
I had an armed response vehicle I was crewing once, subject to a full CT search.
As an RAF dog handler present at the time put it to me, as we surveyed the scene; " Must be expecting an inside job"
How we laughed
As an RAF dog handler present at the time put it to me, as we surveyed the scene; " Must be expecting an inside job"
How we laughed
Join Date: Aug 2005
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Re: RAF Police
Cycling along a well known Peri track in South Wales after Sqn beer call, at night, minus lights.
Reckless cycling and an admonishment !!!
Please add removal of sense of humour as a prerequisite for a plod.
Reckless cycling and an admonishment !!!
Please add removal of sense of humour as a prerequisite for a plod.
Thought police antagonist
Join Date: Jul 2003
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Re: RAF Police
Originally Posted by Low Break
...who go out of their way to do people for speeding 
But don't always succeed. Purely hypothetical of course, but should you enter the bend at the West end of the "certain peri-track in South Wales " on a Friday evening in summer in a Triumph 1500 at about 40mph and then floor it, I understand it is possible to achieve a recorded 110mph before the next bend and then ask the plod to prove how fast the vehicle was travelling--exactly--well you should be ok, . "Very "--is not the correct answer btw. Long time ago--
Join Date: Apr 2000
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Re: RAF Police
Cycling off camp and hear screech of brakes and bang, look round to see WO knocked off his bike with car along side. Go back to help, WO had nasty head wound so ran and called medics and RAF Police. I was in waterproofs, gloves, cycle helmet (WO should have been wearing one), cycle clips. RAF Police pitch up, first question to me 'hello sir, were you the driver of the vehicle?'
PM
PS Medics did not shine as tried to fit wrong size of neck brace!
PM
PS Medics did not shine as tried to fit wrong size of neck brace!
Join Date: Jan 2006
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Re: RAF Police
Back in the good old days of the V force when RAF policemen guarded aircraft I met an RAFP dog handler who was in love with his dog. he was convinced it was cleverer than Einstein. Well, it was cleverer than its master! One warm summer night he was chatting with a few of us linies, and he showed us the dog's latest trick. He pulled out his pistol, pointed it a the dog, and said "Bang". The dog fell down and rolled on its back with its feet in the air
Avoid imitations
Join Date: Nov 2000
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Re: RAF Police
Many RAF police were issued with dogs in an attempt to double the team IQ.
I like the story of the infamous night-time RAFP mobile speed camera on the peri track at RAF Aldergrove. A certain Army corporal, driving a little too fast, was "zapped" and they stepped out and tried to stop him. Instead of stopping, he floored the gas pedal and roared round to Guard Post on the other side of the airfield, where he called out to the Guard: "Someone's hiding in the grass with a gun"......... They turned out mob-handed and fully tooled up and the RAFP got the scare of their little lives
I like the story of the infamous night-time RAFP mobile speed camera on the peri track at RAF Aldergrove. A certain Army corporal, driving a little too fast, was "zapped" and they stepped out and tried to stop him. Instead of stopping, he floored the gas pedal and roared round to Guard Post on the other side of the airfield, where he called out to the Guard: "Someone's hiding in the grass with a gun"......... They turned out mob-handed and fully tooled up and the RAFP got the scare of their little lives
Join Date: Dec 2003
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Re: RAF Police
A decade ago TTTE were on bolthole at Marham . Early on a Monday morning a RAFP could be seen wandering around the line looking at the tyres. After a few minutes said copper came in with annoyed Liney wanting him charged for BF-ing an aircraft with less than the 2mm tread!
Quick call from Sengo to F/S RAFP - come and get your copper quick!
Quick call from Sengo to F/S RAFP - come and get your copper quick!
Join Date: Dec 2002
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Re: RAF Police
After leaving the RAF I worked for a Large Bluechip City Company.
The company security manager (G..... M.......)was an Ex RAF SIB SNCO/Officer. One evening over a beer we were swinging the led about various experiences and I happened to mention that I had a very uncomfortable experience palletising Ammo, Sneb Rockets and Bombs at the SSA at ..............
He quoted the following:
He and another officer were detailed to check out the security of the SSA when it was used during the mid 60's for it primary function for storing Blue Steal warheads. They managed to gain access to the western area of the airfield from a nearby main road, and crawled almost up to the perimeter of the SSA undetected in spite of the intense security lighting.
They could observe the area behind the wire and spent several hours watching the patrols of the Snoop and his hound. It was a very cold night and they were planning how to get themselves out when they saw the Snoop take the lead off the dog and just wondered off for a smoke and coffee. The dog then just stretched out. At which point no 2 Officer said he new that dog as he had been Dep OC the dog training School at Debden and had been involved in its training. At which point he spoke to the dog in whatever way the trainers do and the Dog just sat there while they climbed the fence and were in. He makes a big fuss of the Dog being old mates and the three of them trot around to the gate house. All hell then broke loose.
The company security manager (G..... M.......)was an Ex RAF SIB SNCO/Officer. One evening over a beer we were swinging the led about various experiences and I happened to mention that I had a very uncomfortable experience palletising Ammo, Sneb Rockets and Bombs at the SSA at ..............
He quoted the following:
He and another officer were detailed to check out the security of the SSA when it was used during the mid 60's for it primary function for storing Blue Steal warheads. They managed to gain access to the western area of the airfield from a nearby main road, and crawled almost up to the perimeter of the SSA undetected in spite of the intense security lighting.
They could observe the area behind the wire and spent several hours watching the patrols of the Snoop and his hound. It was a very cold night and they were planning how to get themselves out when they saw the Snoop take the lead off the dog and just wondered off for a smoke and coffee. The dog then just stretched out. At which point no 2 Officer said he new that dog as he had been Dep OC the dog training School at Debden and had been involved in its training. At which point he spoke to the dog in whatever way the trainers do and the Dog just sat there while they climbed the fence and were in. He makes a big fuss of the Dog being old mates and the three of them trot around to the gate house. All hell then broke loose.
Join Date: Dec 2004
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Re: RAF Police
Come on chaps, this thread needs to expand as much as this one!
1081 replies and 73 pages. They must be popular.
http://www.arrse.co.uk/cpgn2/Forums/...c/t=19291.html
1081 replies and 73 pages. They must be popular.
http://www.arrse.co.uk/cpgn2/Forums/...c/t=19291.html
Join Date: Mar 2004
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Re: RAF Police
I think you will find that the RAFP has a lot to offer a budding carreer man.
Nothing there about barriers going up and down.
Special investigations........ I wonder what that entails?
Pay: £25,600–£74,200 Are they having a laugh or what? Does the head porker really get paid that much?
You’re the Station Security Officer at a major RAF Strike Command base. Although you’re only in your twenties, you’re answerable for the security of all aircraft, buildings and personnel on the site. You’re dealing with paperwork, juggling budgets and supervising staff. Suddenly, intruders are reported on the perimeter fence. You’re out of the office, into your Land Rover and off to take control of the situation. Another day it could be a suspect package or a case of theft. But at all times, it’s your responsibility to sort it out. Alternatively, you may be posted to HQ Provost and Security Services to work on special investigations.
Special investigations........ I wonder what that entails?
Pay: £25,600–£74,200 Are they having a laugh or what? Does the head porker really get paid that much?
Join Date: Mar 2001
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Re: RAF Police
You are StnSyO @ the London airfield in the late 80's during their only Stn Exercise since 1945 (the one where the Stn Cdr told us over the tannoy that all guards would be issued with a pickaxe handle and a WRAF for guard duty).
Driving accross the airfield you meet some intruders heading to ATC,
Do you-
A Arrest them
or
B Give them a lift!
Again at NHT a plod tried to have one of the guys on shift charged for leaving a window open.
I was a witness , having done the previous security check.
All was not going well until I pointed out that all the windows had been painted shut a long time ago - plod got a short notice posting!
Wittering , in 89 the plod that put his 9mm on the roof of his Ford Escort and went for a bit of a drive on the A1 - and couldn't find it!.
I was on SSG a few days later when the flattest pistol ever seen was handed in to the guardroom by a trucker.
And there was the tw@ who was robbing the beer from the crewroom fridge.
You see , we had recently liberated one of those full sized evacuation dolls on a trip to BA at LHR.
It was decided that we would have a bit of fun with said plod, so we found out when he was due to rob us again, and the doll hanged himself in a fit of depression.
Plod threw a major wobbler, and thought it was real,it did look good.
We arrived into work next morning to find the plods had a major sense of humour failure.
In their defence, most of the ATSY guys and gals at NHT were ok when I was there.
One guy in particular hat a spooky sixth sense for picking young female officers with interesting items in their handbaggage.
He would always end with ' and now , if you could kindly remove the batteries, that will be all'.
Driving accross the airfield you meet some intruders heading to ATC,
Do you-
A Arrest them
or
B Give them a lift!
Again at NHT a plod tried to have one of the guys on shift charged for leaving a window open.
I was a witness , having done the previous security check.
All was not going well until I pointed out that all the windows had been painted shut a long time ago - plod got a short notice posting!
Wittering , in 89 the plod that put his 9mm on the roof of his Ford Escort and went for a bit of a drive on the A1 - and couldn't find it!.
I was on SSG a few days later when the flattest pistol ever seen was handed in to the guardroom by a trucker.
And there was the tw@ who was robbing the beer from the crewroom fridge.
You see , we had recently liberated one of those full sized evacuation dolls on a trip to BA at LHR.
It was decided that we would have a bit of fun with said plod, so we found out when he was due to rob us again, and the doll hanged himself in a fit of depression.
Plod threw a major wobbler, and thought it was real,it did look good.
We arrived into work next morning to find the plods had a major sense of humour failure.
In their defence, most of the ATSY guys and gals at NHT were ok when I was there.
One guy in particular hat a spooky sixth sense for picking young female officers with interesting items in their handbaggage.
He would always end with ' and now , if you could kindly remove the batteries, that will be all'.
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Re: RAF Police
Secret Moggie station in darkest East Angle Ironshire late 80's. NAAFI sh@g'n'shuffle was a thursday night affair that was always well attended, lot's of local totty to augment the sparse indiginous female population.
Going to work v early one friday morning I wandered bleary eyed down the main corridoor of the ancient H block that was home to spy two scuffers sitting on the stairs looking rather suspicious. Turned out these two bottom feeders were trapping girlies as they were leaving the rooms of the boys at the crack of sparrows and then charging the poor sod who's room they had spent the night in.
Hypocrytical scum of the earth one and all particularly as the pigpen was right royal den of eniquity at the time.
Going to work v early one friday morning I wandered bleary eyed down the main corridoor of the ancient H block that was home to spy two scuffers sitting on the stairs looking rather suspicious. Turned out these two bottom feeders were trapping girlies as they were leaving the rooms of the boys at the crack of sparrows and then charging the poor sod who's room they had spent the night in.
Hypocrytical scum of the earth one and all particularly as the pigpen was right royal den of eniquity at the time.
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Re: RAF Police
Originally Posted by L-H
, lot's of local totty to augment the sparse indiginous female population.
Whilst Duty airman (remember them?) at Benson a long, long time ago.
Duty LAC/A/Cpl/Unpd walks in, 'Wonder who I can charge tonight?'
Ord Cpl: 'You sad ****'
Bless!
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Re: RAF Police................
If you want excitement, a hat which is too big for you, and the oppertunity to get assaulted while inpaid and on your day off follow the link..............................even stranger lot than RAFP !
http://www.policespecials.com/forum/index.php?act=idx
Merry
http://www.policespecials.com/forum/index.php?act=idx
Merry
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Re: RAF Police
Ah, the Stasi Filth. How we love them.
Early last year, a hapless jnr offr left his (unlabelled) non-issue rucksack outside the "cottage" (bunker access building) at a secret Northumberland base. Someone duly reported the bag to the MPGS (meagrely-paid grunt service or Military Provost Guard Service), who initiated WIDEAWAKE and closed the site.
RAFP then tried to evacuate the (supposedly bomb-proof) bunker, before being told to piss off.
Said jnr offr reported to the scene, immediately admitted that it was HIS bag, that he KNEW there wasn't a label on it, and that he was prepared to take the ensuing bollocking from all ranks above him. The RAFP sgt took a statement (same confession) without telling the offr his rights, saluted, and buggered off to bacon central. There, he undertook a 2 week long investigation, before concluding:
1. The bag belonged to the jnr officer.
2. The jnr officer knew it wasn't labelled.
3. The jnr officer should be bollocked.
Okay, the hapless chap deserved a bollocking, but this could have been done on the same day without the charade of a police investigation that just wasted time. Job-creation, it seems, is a must-have skill for scuffers.
I am bound to say, though, that some of them do a god job. I remember the tale of an Ord Offr at Buchan who was faced with a full-on civvy riot on base, and who received excellent assistance from the coppers. The same coppers who later helped with the first aid and care of a chap who'd fallen in the snow outside the base and broken his leg. This small minority are, though, let down by the overwhelming majority of coppers with petty small-minded attitudes, overinflated egos and a bloated sense of self-importance.
Early last year, a hapless jnr offr left his (unlabelled) non-issue rucksack outside the "cottage" (bunker access building) at a secret Northumberland base. Someone duly reported the bag to the MPGS (meagrely-paid grunt service or Military Provost Guard Service), who initiated WIDEAWAKE and closed the site.
RAFP then tried to evacuate the (supposedly bomb-proof) bunker, before being told to piss off.
Said jnr offr reported to the scene, immediately admitted that it was HIS bag, that he KNEW there wasn't a label on it, and that he was prepared to take the ensuing bollocking from all ranks above him. The RAFP sgt took a statement (same confession) without telling the offr his rights, saluted, and buggered off to bacon central. There, he undertook a 2 week long investigation, before concluding:
1. The bag belonged to the jnr officer.
2. The jnr officer knew it wasn't labelled.
3. The jnr officer should be bollocked.
Okay, the hapless chap deserved a bollocking, but this could have been done on the same day without the charade of a police investigation that just wasted time. Job-creation, it seems, is a must-have skill for scuffers.
I am bound to say, though, that some of them do a god job. I remember the tale of an Ord Offr at Buchan who was faced with a full-on civvy riot on base, and who received excellent assistance from the coppers. The same coppers who later helped with the first aid and care of a chap who'd fallen in the snow outside the base and broken his leg. This small minority are, though, let down by the overwhelming majority of coppers with petty small-minded attitudes, overinflated egos and a bloated sense of self-importance.