Re: RAF Police
You are StnSyO @ the London airfield in the late 80's during their only Stn Exercise since 1945 (the one where the Stn Cdr told us over the tannoy that all guards would be issued with a pickaxe handle and a WRAF for guard duty).
Driving accross the airfield you meet some intruders heading to ATC,
Do you-
A Arrest them
or
B Give them a lift!
Again at NHT a plod tried to have one of the guys on shift charged for leaving a window open.
I was a witness , having done the previous security check.
All was not going well until I pointed out that all the windows had been painted shut a long time ago - plod got a short notice posting!
Wittering , in 89 the plod that put his 9mm on the roof of his Ford Escort and went for a bit of a drive on the A1 - and couldn't find it!.
I was on SSG a few days later when the flattest pistol ever seen was handed in to the guardroom by a trucker.
And there was the tw@ who was robbing the beer from the crewroom fridge.
You see , we had recently liberated one of those full sized evacuation dolls on a trip to BA at LHR.
It was decided that we would have a bit of fun with said plod, so we found out when he was due to rob us again, and the doll hanged himself in a fit of depression.
Plod threw a major wobbler, and thought it was real,it did look good.
We arrived into work next morning to find the plods had a major sense of humour failure.
In their defence, most of the ATSY guys and gals at NHT were ok when I was there.
One guy in particular hat a spooky sixth sense for picking young female officers with interesting items in their handbaggage.
He would always end with ' and now , if you could kindly remove the batteries, that will be all'.