Re: RAF Police
Ah, the Stasi Filth. How we love them.
Early last year, a hapless jnr offr left his (unlabelled) non-issue rucksack outside the "cottage" (bunker access building) at a secret Northumberland base. Someone duly reported the bag to the MPGS (meagrely-paid grunt service or Military Provost Guard Service), who initiated WIDEAWAKE and closed the site.
RAFP then tried to evacuate the (supposedly bomb-proof) bunker, before being told to piss off.
Said jnr offr reported to the scene, immediately admitted that it was HIS bag, that he KNEW there wasn't a label on it, and that he was prepared to take the ensuing bollocking from all ranks above him. The RAFP sgt took a statement (same confession) without telling the offr his rights, saluted, and buggered off to bacon central. There, he undertook a 2 week long investigation, before concluding:
1. The bag belonged to the jnr officer.
2. The jnr officer knew it wasn't labelled.
3. The jnr officer should be bollocked.
Okay, the hapless chap deserved a bollocking, but this could have been done on the same day without the charade of a police investigation that just wasted time. Job-creation, it seems, is a must-have skill for scuffers.
I am bound to say, though, that some of them do a god job. I remember the tale of an Ord Offr at Buchan who was faced with a full-on civvy riot on base, and who received excellent assistance from the coppers. The same coppers who later helped with the first aid and care of a chap who'd fallen in the snow outside the base and broken his leg. This small minority are, though, let down by the overwhelming majority of coppers with petty small-minded attitudes, overinflated egos and a bloated sense of self-importance.