More Dumb Responses.....
 

1) On a flight from CLT to IAH, a very happy pax was telling me all about how she had almost missed her Mexico vacation because of the hurricane in Cancun and US Airways wasn't flying to Cancun but they had been soooo sweet and rebooked her on Continental so she could still get there today. (The hurricane, BTW, was headed directly for Cancun.)

Me: Umm, why do you think we will be flying into a hurricane when US Airways will not?

Pax: But Continental flies out of Houston. US Air is out of Charlotte.

Me: Yes, but the hurricane is headed for Cancun......

Pax (looking very downtrodden): Oh. I think they just rebooked me to get rid of me.

Ya think?????


2) Standing at the gate, waiting for the aircraft that was coming from customs, slight delay.... Gate agent made a very nice, clear PA explaining situation and assuring everyone she'd update them if the wait would be longer than ten minutes.

The very professional businessman standing RIGHT IN FRONT of her said, "Is that for me too?" Honest to God, he did:D :D :D


3) And one for the boys up front....

I am from Scotland and had some of my fellow countrymen on a flight from somewhere oil-related into IAH (can't remember from where). We had a nice conversation during the flight and when they got off in Houston they said their fair-thee-wells in a broad Doric accent. I replied in kind. Captain looked at me and said, "What language were they speaking?" "English!" I replied, "Sort of - they're from my hometown."

"Did you understand them?" asked the f/o. :rolleyes:

The first will be the last...
 

This is all hearsay, and you might have heard it before...

Airplane lands and taxies to the terminal. While still taxying, a passenger gets up and stands near the entrance. CC ask the man to return to his seat, then tell him to return to his seats etc., but the man flatly refuses since he's in a hurry and wants to be first off the plane.

Apparently the captain hears this and tells the ground crew via the radio "The airbridge is broken today." "No it isn't, it is perfectly servicable" "You don't understand, the airbridge is broken today because I tell you so, and you're going to bring stairs to the back of the plane for the passengers to disembark. I'll explain later." But obviously captain doesn't tell anybody else in the aircraft until the aircraft comes to a complete stop at the gates, all passengers get up to retrieve their hand luggage and the aisle is completely blocked.

Passenger last off the plane, fuming... :-)

More importantly, its so that the hosties can clearly "Assess Conditions" as part of an Emergency Evacuation, therefore ensuring slides dont get blown into nastys such as fire, a building, any other form of undesirable hazard!

Recently on a flight from LGW to DFW. The seat belt signs had gone on during the flight because of turbulence, and I noticed a pax standing in the club cabin with the locker open trying to get something out. So I walked up to him..
Me: Sir, please could you sit down and fasten your seat belt.
Pax: But I'm doing something.
Me: Well as we are going through turbulence the captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign so please could you sit down and fasten your seat belt.
Pax: But the sign was off when I stood up.

F*cking sit down!!!!!!!!!!!! you've had the last 6 hours to get stuff out your bag :ugh:

I had a pax having a right go at me as there were no sandwiches left. This was a 2 hour flight and apparently it was digusting and she was never going fly easyJet again. Shame. I hate the Costa Del Chav flights! Why didn't she buy food earlier? She was also quite a porker, would have done her good to skip a meal anyway! ;) The amount of times we run out of sarnies, oooo yes, I'll just hop down to the ground and get some fresh ones :ugh:

Stupid Cow: Why has it taken you 15 minutes to serve me? This is disgraceful!
Me: As you can see, the flight is very busy and we are trying our best to serve everyone as quickly as possible.
Stupid Cow: Well it's not good enough

I'm not quite sure what she expected me to do. Magic some more cabin crew up to fawn over her and wait on her hand and foot?

Dear oh dear oh dear........Are you in the service industry or what? Not an unreasonable request for a sandwich on a two hour flight(i do accept she might have had an attitude problem) but really to call her fat etc is unreasonable. You are one of the MANY reasons i will never ever,ever fly Easyjet!
Stands by with flame proof suit on............

Bloody hell bowl of milk for two!
How unpleasant can you lot get...this seemed to be a humourous thread ...but now it is sheer vitriol.

Thats me off out of it.

Its amazing how many times someones needed to remind that this is a string for hosties to vent the many frustrations they come across daily!
I would assume that any hostie who read Virginia's post would be nodding in agreeance at the very least, have seen/said/thought similiar if not worse things!!!

If you cant read these posts in the theraputic tone that they're intended, then please, dont read them!


My personal seatbelt sign greivance typified -
*seatbelt sign goes on, PA from Capt*
*SLF wanders down the back*
Me: "Sorry Ma'am, youll have to pop back to your seat and pop your seatbelt on as the Captain just said, its a wee bit too bumpy to be up and about"
SLF: "Oh, I just want to go to the toilet"
Me: "Oh ok, well if you can do that from your seat with your seatbelt on, let me know as i feel it would be impressive to watch"

Given that the thread title refers to "Thick Passengers", isn't it a bit late to be objecting to the tone of it?

I think the title says it all. Speaking as SLF who has on occasion committed Thick Passenger sins myself, I can entirely sympathise with CC needing to vent to colleagues.

And it doesn't make me feel so alone in my dingbattery.... :bored:

FG1-On behalf of myself and my fellow crew members, thank you for choosing not to fly easyJet.

And that woman was a stupid cow, even the passengers sitting behind her were rolling their eyes and one of them said to me later: 'wasn't that woman a stupid cow?'

So it wasn't just me and my fellow hostie thinking that!

Please don't speak on my behalf Virginia. Whilst we might be wanting to vent steam on this thread, personally I would not refer to a pax as a porker or a stupid cow.

FG1 I am senior crew with easyJet and Virginia doesn't speak on my behalf. Personally I like my pax to leave my aircraft happy and usually they make nice comments to me when they leave.

So, you will be more than welcome on one of my flights in future :)

You couldn't make them up!
 

PAX: "Excuse me, could I have a glass of water?"

F/A: "Sure"

F/A returns a couple of seconds later with the water

PAX: "Oh, sorry, can I get a glass of water without ice, it's just that I'm allergic to ice"


And another...

(Meal service on a flight to Lagos, Nigeria)

F/A: "Would you like any wine with your meal madam?"

PAX: "Give me red"

F/A hands over bottle of red wine, pax looks at the label and says "I don't want this one, give me another"

F/A goes in trolley, fetches different red wine, hands it to pax, she looks at the label and says "I don't want this wine, give me another"

F/A explains to pax that those are the only 2 red wines they have today.

Pax thinks for a few secs and then says "OK, give me white wine instead"

F/A reaches in trolley for bottle of white wine, hands it to pax, pax looks at the label and says "I don't want this one, give me another"

F/A apologises to pax and says "Sorry madam, but that is the only white wine we have today.

PAX looks dissapointed and says "OK, just give me water"

F/A pours the water and as he's doing so wants to find out what kind of wine exactly the pax was looking for so as he's pouring the water he asks her "Madam, may I just ask, were those wines not to your liking?"

PAX replies "No, they were all out of date"

F/A: "Out of date?"

PAX: "Yes, out of date. They all said 1998 on them" :ugh:

As I said, you couldn't make them up! :rolleyes:

Thanks Getoutofmygalley!
Just think it's all down to (hopefully)mutual respect which calling someone fat is lacking in. I have seen some real idiots on flights that deserved a cutting "put down". Most of us aren't like that i hope. Anyway i know this is a thick passenger comments thread but i'm afraid not all air crew are immune to the odd "thick" moment in my experience. Perhaps Virginia should think about doing something else if she gets so wound up by such trivia.....
There is a time and place to get arsy when it's truly justified which in my experience is getting all too common on aircraft.This,however,is not one of them. I really don't think that Virginia's grievance is up to much and i will take on board what you say about Easyjet!
Paul

Dear Paul:

I am not a CC but am working on the FD, and I do know some about what our girls have to put up with.
Whatever is said in a forum like this, please bear in mind that it is all supposed to be things exchanged between people in the same business, and therefore private opinnions will, and have the right, to come out.

It appears to me that you are SLF and you feel jumped upon by reading the posts here. I will suggest that you then go to some other business forum, eg "Old-lawyers-dinner-discussion-group" where I am sure it is all more politically correct.

Please do not come as an outsider and start a fight. You have no idea what crew's have to put up with, no matter how many times you fly as pax, and how observant you are. Enjoy the good stories, please add to them or go somewhere else when you wish to puke!!!

That said, you are always welcome as pax and do deserve the good service you have paid for. :)

Just not in this forum here :}

Girls, I love reading the stories, even though some of them is aimed at the pointing end := ;)

That was well said and Polite ..:D

Thank-you !!

(Don't forget about the Male Crew )

I agree. If someone annoys us on board, the first thing we do is go into the galley and have a whinge about the 'fat animal who wanted pringles'

I have never seen this reflected in the cabin though. From what i have seen crew are generally friendly and handle all situations well.

Lets not take take what we do out of proportion.

Thick pax comment/s: You usually get at least one when a female FO/Capt speaks over the PA. Even to the extent that on disembarking 'Chavs' (I think that is what the English refer to them as :) they will poke their head in the F/D and say 'I didnt believe it - a female driver got us here safely!'

I'm a SLF and don't have a problem with the CC venting in here - how some of the passengers I see on SIA flights don't get a good slapping from the crew is beyond me.

This would be great if it were true, I was sent it the other day and it made me chuckle:

A Mormon was seated next to an Australian on a flight from London
to Melbourne. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.

The Aussie asked for a rum and Coke, which was brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink.

He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores
than let liquor touch my lips."

The Aussie then handed his drink back to the attendant and said
"Me too. I didn't know we had a choice".

I had a beauty the other day!
A lady ask me after the Safety Demo if she had to blow up her own lifejacket!
I explained to her that no the crew come and blow them up for all the passengers just before we crash!
She replied "how do you find the time?"

HONESTLY!!!!!:ugh: :ugh: :ugh:

Agreed wholeheartedly. Virginia has spoken many times on PPRuNe about how she's not happy at easyJet. I find it quite funny that she thinks passengers expecting good service ("magic up more cabin crew to fawn over [the passenger]") yet in another thread she said she'd much prefer to "serve claret wine to stuffy old men on BA" than work at easyJet.

easyJet is what you make of it, and while we may be low cost it's not beyond our ability to cater to different passengers and make sure everyone has a good experience. If working for easyJet is below you, Virginia, why are you still here?

Of course this thread is about "thick passengers", but perhaps "stupid cow" and "porker" are a bit strong?

Urok, yes this thread is meant for FAs to giggle at our pax and to vent some frustration. And yes I am a hostie ;) That does not mean you will find me nodding in agreement with Virginia's latest.
I seldom nod in agreement with Virginia's posts.
Virginia's posts are by and large of such breathtaking stupidity, such callow disregard for her pax, such utter disinterest in doing a professional job as a flight attendant that I have at times wondered if her persona was a clever wind-up.
A wind-up intended to make FAs look like shallow, feckless, inane single-braincell entities with the charm and integrity of Ms Jade Goody of UK Big Brother fame.

Here's just a few quick examples in case you think I exaggerate.

Good news for EZ :ok:

Hopefully that 'nice little office job' will also put an end to her posting here. :rolleyes:

First up and hands down - I am not part of the CC network, but I do have total admiration for the poo that you lot have to put up with and have really enjoyed reading this thread - thank you!!

Regarding: Now, if i may digress momentarily from the skies to the ground, a girlfriend of mine used to work at a reknowned florist...

They were doing a big floristry demo at a famous 'home' show in London and the company's products was stacked up on the shelving units behind them, one of which was a peony scented bath and shower range.... A smartly dressed, international woman approached my girlfriend and asked her if the reason that their fresh peonies smelt so lovely was due to them washing them with the soap.....???!!!!!!

sorry i know, irrevelant to the industry, but thought it was a example of the low stupidity of joe public as most of the 'high' ones have been covered so far!

:rolleyes:

Do passengers trying it on qualify as thick?
 

Hi All,


Posting from HKG, just got got off a flight where the IFE was misbehaving, lost of apologies from CC during flight, but as we disembarked a couple near me tried to convince a transfer agent that they were promised upgrades to club for the inconvenience for their onward leg... Only a slight hint of "oh really?" with his smile as he asked them for the details of the (non existant) promise - which they started to create on the fly. Images in my head of paint and corners and second coats. Has there been a thread on the stunts pax try to pull?

Anyway, I fly a reasonable amount for work and try to be one of the SLF you don't notice. I'll be the guy in the corner mostly asleep with the large bottle of water in my lap (when I'm allowed). However, I often have to ask CC to repeat questions and sometimes don't undertand even the coffee or tea puzzler. Something about the constant noise and the pressure and the attempted sleep makes me groggy.

Really amusing reading some of these and thank you to all the happy CC I've encountered :D

737 Syd to NZ
 

Pax - Will this aircraft make it to nz?
Me - Not as yet but today could be our first!!:ugh:

LOL, heard that one just yesterday and almost everytime accross the tasman on the 737.

I often say that the techies are just working that out at the moment and I will get back to them. . . :ok:

Awwww you guys say the nicest things!:}

Wexcan-I can assure you that I am leaving EZY asap! Maybe I have flown with you?

Oh and Judd I can assure you that I am in no way as common as Ms Jade Goody :8 But yes I am shallow and take great delight in applying more Juicy Tube lipgloss as I sit in the back galley having a moan. And yes, as soon as I leave the wonderful world of flying I will no longer post here.

How many of you have gone in the back galley to moan about passengers? How many of you really care about the above pax? How many of you really enjoy your job and can say it brings great personal satisfaction?


Virginia-the perfect flying waitress (yes I know we are onboard for safety but recently it seems like all I do is serve overpriced bevarages and snacks to chavs)

Just to get back on track: Not the best ever, but definitely an everyday thickness:

-What kind of sandwiches do you have?
-Mozzarella cheese or ham and cheese. Which one would you like?
-I'll have the one with cheese, please...
(This did not always mean Mozzarella cheese...:ugh: )

Oh, just remembered an other one!!!!

Crew member is standing in the middle of the cabin during boarding of course in bright orange uniform...
Pax looking for someone to ask about seating: "Do you work for easyJet?"

:hmm:

I do love the funny things pax say, but i used to fly for VS and believe me, some of the crew are equally stoopid! Dishing out landing cards before landing at LHR, a colleague asked 'does the guy in 46D need a landing card, he said he doesn't know'
I told her, does he have an EU passport, to which she trotted off to check.
2 mins later she returned, 'he has an Argentinian passport', so i told her well theres your answer, to which she replied, 'is Argentina in the EU'!!!

Also had another colleague ask me whilst in NYC, 'is that the same moon we see in England'

One final lil gem, a colleague once told me she put doors in manual before reaching stand, when i asked what she would do in an emergency, she reckoned she would just pull manual inflation handle! Thankfully i never flew with her again.:ugh:

I fly a lot with Ryanair and always try to get an, overwing emergency exit aisle seat for the legroom. On one flight just after the cabin crew had finished the closed doors check the lady next to me turned to her partner and said "Why is it always Manuel who has to check the doors?"

I moved across the aisle.......................just in case!

I Virginia and her colleagues are expected to 'deal' more 'professionally' with passengers of the type cited, I would suggest that their job descriptions be amended to include the word 'therapist' and they get paid a lot more money. The obese woman speaking out of turn should really have been to a shrink to sort out her food-related maladjustment instead of dumping it on the nearest suitable victim, and I don't blame Virginia in the slightest for dealing with the unpleasantness it clearly caused her, in any way she sees fit.

I had this comment from a passenger just the other day after the demo

"It would make us feel a lot more secure if you were not wearing your lifejacket " !!!!

HELLO !!

And there was me, as SLF, thinking cabin crew were there primarily for pax safety! :ugh:

I'm not CC, just occasional SLF, but fully sympathise with you guys for the crap that chavs and general retards sling at you. So with this in mind I'll relay my little story of how being polite to CC/groundies pays (literaly).

I was at Sandford airport (Florida) returning home -coincidently after doing my PPL (yes, another bleedin' amateur airplane driver, I know) and was late for my flight, my fault really as I'd not allowed for the huge queues. There weren't many staff on as it was the xmas/new year dead-zone presumably and folk were getting pretty wound up. When I got to the front of the queue the fella politly told me I was too late for my flight (no surprise to me) and as my ticket was non-transferrable, I'd have to buy another. Meanwhile, those on either side (two counter to left and two to the right) were being told the same, they went into meltdown, some of them really losing it. However, much as I was pissed off and wanted to say something along the lines of "Well if your airline had more staff on etc." I just said "Oh" and went quiet.
The fella checked prices and came up with an eye-watering $1100!! My profanity circuit went into overdrive in my head and only in my head, I responded, "Oh, that's an awful lot of money, I do understand the circumstances and accept I was late, but I can't really run to that, Is there anything you can do to help me out?" He did his best for five minutes then called his supervisor over to do the same, meanwhile, chavs anonomous all around were shouting and screaming and threatening etc all and sundry. After another five minutes the supervisor looked up at me and said "Sorry Sir, the best we can do is $170 and you'll have a further four hour wait for the flight" Without seeming to bite his hand off I thanked him and asked "Is Mastercard OK?". He processed the ticket, I thanked them both for their efforts and trundled off to wait for my flight as some of the rowdy stroppy chavs were being 'Escorted from the premises' by large blokes with guns!!! Certainly two of the other lots were swearing away at having to shoulder the full cost of their replacement tickets.

Moral of the story? Ask yourself, would you be more disposed to help out someone who was being polite and talking in a quiet respectful tone or a mouthy obnoxous chav?
This tack has also worked for me with the police when they pull you on the road, I learned this as a tennager, be polite and you'll get off with a warning. you just have to watch those 'Airline' type programmes (I'm gulity of working in TV so have alot of exposure to consumer type issues) to see this in action.

Ya'all be cool out there now. (you can always have a Tourettes moment later in private!!)

Be seeing you...
;) :cool:

Was on my first every flight to LHR, serving lunch to this British Indian pax

Me: Sir, would you prefer chicken or beef?
Pax: (Pulling down his tray table) I have a British passport
Me: So you don't have to eat? :hmm:

Another funny incident relayed to me by my friend. She was operating a flight to CGK. A pax was fumbling with the lav door, trying to open it.

Crew: Push, Madam, push (Demonstrating pushing motion at the same time)
The pax took a look at her, went very near to the door and....
Pax:Push.....push....

She quickly went over and open the door for the lady and proceeded to burst into laughter in the galley. "Open sesame" anyone?

Oh, please...
 

Offering landing cards into London.

Me:" Landing Cards, uk immigration cards" etc etc..
U.S pax: "Do I need one of those?"
Me: "Which passport do you hold?"
U.S pax: "American"
Me: "Are you stayng in the United Kingdom?"
U.S pax: "No. We are going to Edinburgh. (Read Edinboro)
Me, as a Scot, "Well you will need one for London and one for "Scaatland"

Made sure they filled in two each...:ugh: :ugh: :ugh:

Lovely lady pax comes to rear of B737, looks at both toilets, then says "Is there a difference between males and females?"

Bit my tongue (hard) to prevent myself from saying "Yes, one has sausage & 2 vege, the other has (insert appropriate female euphamism here)" and actually said, with a smile, "no ma'am, both are available for you to use"

:E

I have sometimes thought it would be a good idea if there was a dedicated urinal-only lav. for the blokes. This is usually when standing there busting my neck for a pee while a lady spends 30 mins in there titivating...

Male Crew
 

It still cracks me up everytime during the bar service a passenger asks me: 'Do you have any nuts?' I just always giggle to my self, if only I could think of a witty reply....:E

One boast of my current boss is that he once worked as cabin crew and flew all over the world. Today someone asked him where the British Virgin Islands were. Without missing a beat back came the reply, "Between Australia and New Zealand." Thank goodness he was CC and not up the pointy end.