Doing just Splendidly here VH, holidays coming up shortly :D How's yourself?

:rolleyes: I bet she is a barrell of laughs to work with too!

Not so much a thick Passenger comment as much as a thick Sinala1 comment - doing arrival PA, nattering on about aerobridge/stairs combination to be used for disembarking - stopped mid sentence when I remembered the port we were arriving at had no aerobridge :ugh: Luckily managed to talk my way out of it (just!)

Sinala;

Staggering along. Off to Barbados next week. Six day layover, holidays not until September.

She achieved a certain notoriety by bursting all four main gear tyres at Barcelona in a rather spectacular arrival and had to put up with rather a lot of "woman driver" comments from the pax before her interview without tea and biccies.

VH

A few years back, my sis (ex Dan air, Caledonian, Ambassador,Royal Jordanian) used to amuse herself on night flights by attending to disruptive pax at various times during the darkness wearing various shades of novelty contact lenses, reserving the deep red ones for the particularly sh***y folk. She reckoned it calmed them down no end. Or just gave them nightmares for years!!!

A couple of guys asked me once, "Why have we stopped?"

This was during cruise. They seemed a little embarrassed to be asking, as if the reason for "stopping" should have been obvious.

I couldn't tell whether they were serious, or just very good comedians.

PAX: "What are the TV screens for?"

:ugh:

I once had a pax call me over and she looked very frightened. I asked if she was ok and she said "Oh my god we're going down is this normal?" This was just after the captain had made a pa saying we were descending and landing in 15 mins!
Also I was dealing with a pax who had fainted putting oxygen on her etc and I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned round and a passenger asked me for a glass of water. Yes sir i'll just leave this young girl lying here to get you one!

Stanley that reminds me of when I used to fly long haul... LHR-JNB, about 5 hours into the flight, somewhere over Africa. Severe medical, pax with a double pulmonary embolism - luckily there was a doctor onboard and based on his advice and assistance from Medlink it was clear we were going to have to divert. Options were turn around and backtrack to either Algiers or Tunis - obviously, we took Tunis.

I was not directly involved with the sick pax, so was keeping up cabin presence etc. South African lady travelling with her son stops me and asks why we were diverting. I said "unfortunatley we have a very sick passenger who requires immediate medical assistance. We have to land ASAP, as her health is obviously very important to us". Lady responds "yeah well not to ME its not - this is destroying my holiday plans"

:mad:

I responded "how would you feel if it were your son who was sick?"

She went very quiet after that!

B:mad:tch

Also I was dealing with a pax who had fainted putting oxygen on her etc and I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned round and a passenger asked me for a glass of water. Yes sir i'll just leave this young girl lying here to get you one!

I remember when me and another crew member were sat on our knees in the aisle trying to help a woman who we thought was having a heart attack. She was giving the lady oxygen, whilst another crew member was making a PA to request an MQV, and I was trying to reassure her 12 year old daughter who was terrified.

The girl giving the lady oxygen got shouted at to "Get out of my way, I need to go to the bathroom". He actually shouted!!

Another woman came up to me, prodded me in the back and declared "I need water". I was so shocked I just looked at her and suggested she go and find a tap.

Pax on Mrs. Robo's flight last night: "Can you let my son see the pilots please?"

Mrs. Robo: "I'm sorry, it's not been allowed since 9/11"

Pax: "That's ridiculous. He's only five. He's hardly going to hijack the aircraft"

Mrs. Robo: "As I said, it's not allowed anymore. Even my own five-year-old son wouldn't be allowed up there if he was here".

Pax: "Well he isn't so here so I don't know why you're going on about him. It's my son we're talking about and you still haven't given me a good reason why he can't go up on the flight deck".

Moving swiftly on........

When the rear cargo door is open on the 757 on the ground!
 

PAX: I was at doors 3 on the 757 for boarding And a passenger who was sitting at row 32-33 called me over.

Me: “Hi can I help?”
Pax: Yes!!!! I asked at check to have a seat far away from them the engines, I don’t like it, it’s too loud, you cant bloody see anything, etc….this went on for a good minute or two before I could get a word in . (all pax around him were listing in as they do!)

Me: I then turned around and said: “That’s ok sir, your not any where near the engine that’s the hold door.

He looked out the window then at me then out the window.

Pax: “Oh…..?!?!?!

A classic.

(OK, Hope you take this in the spirit it was posted, fun!)

Passenger, first time in Economy on a Virgin Atlantic flight back from the States:-

" Stewardess, will there be a second round of drinks duruing the flight? you will be coming through the cabin in the next seven hours won't you?" :8:E:E

Had a passenger demand my crew meal once as she was hungry and we had sold out of sandwiches! Never mind the fact that I had a 12 hour day and had been up since 3am. :sad: I nicely explained to her this fact and she didn't get off my back till my Purser reasoned with her.

'Why don't you go and get a proper job love?' This from a middle aged man. :hmm:

A right chavvy looking man wearing his sunglasses: 'I want a JD and coke.' (note, no please or thankyou)
Me: "Certainly, as you can see I am collecting the rubbish, as soon as I have finished I will be happy to get you one."
2 minutes later...'Oi you, where's my drink?' :rolleyes:

Just before landing when passengers want more food/drink despite being told before hand that due to Customs regulations the bars are locked.

I was once accosted whilst on a nightstop by an angry pax shouting at me that my airline was rubbish. He was quite threatening and I had to lock myself in my room and call security. :\

A friend of mine was recently attacked my a drunk group of chavvy women on a flight :(

Was reading an article here about how abuse against service workers is growing: http://money.guardian.co.uk/workweek...141036,00.html

Very similar thing happened to me once. All our pax bags had been left behind in ALC due very hot weather and maximum take off weight restrictionns. The pax knew and they, all 215 of them, crowded round the baggage office, trying to get in and over the counter! Had to get customs and the police to remove them! Very, very scary for me. I hadn't even been with the airline six months!

I was serving fish and lamb for the dinner service. I asked this guy what he wanted fish or lamb and he said beef.

I told him that sorry the choice today is lamb or fish what would you like.

He then told me in a smart ass tone that lamb and beef are the same thing and that they come from the same animal so I he wanted the beef!!

So I gave him the lamb!

Hello....!!!

lol, lets fly post.

i know you said your post was to be taken as fun, but i can't see that. i flew virgin economy to and from the states and on both flights we only got one bar service, and that was 4 hours into the flight!!!

so were you meaning that the woman was being thick, because of course you wouldnt be doing a second drinks service. or was she being thick because of course you 'normally' do? i'm confuzzled!

Ah, hello!!!!! No wonder your concerned about a second bar service. Your username says is all: Vodkaholic.

I have one from the horses mouth, as fully qualified SLF. I went back to the galley on an AA-777 last month westbound across the pond. Powder blue sky outside, so I bent slightly and looked out of the rear access window.

Coming in the opposite direction, right to left at the same altitude was another silver jet, with the most wonderful grey expanding contrail from the back. It wasn't converging so I wasn't alarmed, and watched it for a few minuites..

It was the wingtip...

And galleybitch - I laugh in the face of 2nd bar service. I have just witnessed the mother of all bar bills between a Malaysian Gent and a 'freelance' airwoman on Malaysian. (I was in the busness class seat behind them)

And may I add, in the old Air Canada ad - 'I didnt want to get off' - especially with the sunrise and nebula-like storm clouds inbound to KLIA. No wingtips up top on a 747!! - My first time up there.

With the odd exception you guys make traveling the greatest. OK the pilot has the last word, but nobody notices until it goes tits up. - Until then you get the flak.

Rgds

AR1.

??
 

This isn't a thick passenger comment, but it confused the hell outta me..... Previous to the converstion a passengers seat back tv wasn't working properly, everyone elses was so it was suggested that we put on the over head tv's eah of the films in turn so he could watch them. I placed the first film on. In the rear galley a passenger asked me why this particular film (Spiderman 3) was on
ME A passengers seat back tv isn't working and it is the only way he can watch the films.
PAX He should have watched it at home then
ME Well why shouldn't he be able too watch it on the plane?
PAX There are more of us, I don't want to watch it!
ME But you have your own TV and can turn it to a film you want to watch
PAX Oh Forget it!
Now was I being unreasonable to show the movies over the central TV's to allow this pax to watch them? The pax who questioned them being shown was not close to a central TV but it could be seen from their seat.

AR1 - great, just great!

iain - I disagree, it's not a thick passenger comment, it's what is technically known as an 'ar$eh8le passenger comment'. I often think there should be an IQ test before they let some people on a plane.

... the thick folks I knew at school now work as airline cabin crew...

That's a bit out of order, Harrogate.:=

"... the thick folks I knew at school now work as airline cabin crew..."

Did you ever wonder who got your allocation of 'class' when it was being handed out?

hey Harrogate which airline knocked your cabin crew application back ? getting back on topic a colleague had the great Muhhamed Ali on board many years ago, coming into land in SYD the seat belt sign illuminated but Ali was fast asleep . My friend ( female flight attendant) woke him gently and whispered in his ear " Mr Ali we are coming in to land i need you to put your seat belt on" He replied " Superman dont need no seat belt" She retorted " yes well Superman don't need no aeroplane either". He quickly did his seat belt up.

LETSFLY post very funny!!!!! Typical pax, they know everything!!! (they think)

What about having past through the cabin with a bar service, asked all pax if they want something to drink, both the way out and the way back to the galley, and when everything as been put away, ding (call bell), a pax that will like something to drink. Didn't he wanted it 2 min ago?????

When we do the tea and coffee service, we have both pots on top of cart. So we ask, "Tea or Coffee?" And pax sais "Yes" AAARRRRGGGGG!!!!!

I have a friend in Iberia, that told me a funy story that happend to her with a little boy on a flight. In Iberia they give children like a winegum lolypop. So she went to this boy, travelling with his father, and gave the sweet to him, he took it, and the father said: " what do you say?". The child answered "That I don't like it!!!!!!!!" and gave it back to her.:O

i was actually referring to the first bar service taking 4 hours to come out!!! and yes...i did have a vodka te he!! :bored:

Also, when doing tea + coffee service in premium cabin,you ask if they would like milk and sugar,reply is no thanks, you give coffee and then they ask where is the milk?:ugh:You add the milk,then they ask for some sugar:ugh:didn't they hear when we first ask them?!

Economy;would you like beef or chix? fish! Unfortunately sir,that is not one of the choices.It's either beef or chix,no other choice. Then they look at me as if I'm the dumb one?!

or when they open small closets looking for a toilet.....:cool: and when they find the toilet they stare at it expecting it to just open for them when there is a big sign that says 'PUSH'. Or when there is a handle on that particular toilet and they ask how do I open this......probably the same way you open a door!

I'm sure we can all write a hilarious book about all these things...;)

Just when you think you have heard it all. Today at check in.

Me: Are you carrying any liquids, etc in handluggage?

Pax: (Pulls out HUGE bottle of cheapy salad cream).

Me: Would you like to put that in your suitcase?

Pax: No I am going to drink it!

And with that off they went!:eek:

Not always thick passenger comments
 

On a flight to the states last year I was sat next to a female passenger traveling with her son. They had requested vegetarian meals and the first meal service were given this. Later in the flight we all got a sarnie style pack-lunch box but all the meals were ham sarnies.

Her: I’m sorry I pre-booked vegetarian meals for my son and myself, do you have anything else?

CC: (gave the lady a funny look) it’s fine for you, its only ham.

She took it just to look polite she told me later. Perhaps the altitude was getting to him!

whatzmyname lol I have had the same situation, as if they've never seen a door and a handle in their whole life!!!!!

Ages ago, I was working for an airline, both charter and schedule. So when schedule we had a curtain to separate first clase, but we took it of when charter, and we just put it in an overhead locker.

One day disembarking a charter flight we realise this lady leaving the a/c with one of the curtains as a shawl. So we made her aware of it, and then she just said: " Oh I thought it was my shawl" but didn't even have one with her!!!! And Imagine the curtain, blue, with big letters in yellow saying Air Europa!!!! Lovely shawl

Lexxity that is disgusting! :yuk:

Hahahahaha ah, the glamour of the airline industry ;)

yesterday when we went out with the bar, i said "would you like any drinks or snacks from the bar"

lady said "yeah what you got?" :ugh: (look in the mag!!!)

i listed everything until she stopped me with "what have you got for kids"

i said "pepsi, lemonade, ginger ale, fruit shoot, j20 .."

she said "have you got Fanta?"

No, (then listed the orange drinks we have)

"have you got sprite?"

"no the nearest to sprite is lemonade"

"is lemonade fizzy?"

:confused:

i thought she was winding me up....doesnt everyone know what lemonade is....

my colleague said "what does she think we do when we're in the galley - sit handsqueezing lemons for people!!!"

I'm not sure exactly who this is taking the rise out of, but..I was on the Northwest Vintage Collection in 1991, and the 'Stewardess' (sorry , but thats what I grew up with) was handing out the inflight meal. Advancing down the Aisle she turned to me and said in a Northwest drawl "Chicken ya Bastard?"

Uh? What, I gagged in shock ( I know the fight was cheap love but theres no need for that I thought)

Chicken or P-A-A-H-S-T-A ; Oh PASTA!

I'll take the chicken. I reiterated the story to my colleagues, and some months later they also flew NWA, and burst out laughing when they were offered the same fare, they confirmed the misheard words were quite similar.

And finally.. A gag (an old one). Years ago I was flying BA DC10 (ex BCal) and after the meal the lady said 'Lick yours sir' - I was just reaching down, when she handed me a Baileys!

JUL13 lol lol lol

I know that sensation!! I now ask them very politely, what do you feel like having?? When they say it, if we don't have it I find something similar. End of silly questions!!!! lol lol

That reminds me of another old gag:- How does a nymphomaniac hold her liqueur (or is it liquor) - By the ears.

No. It's not "fizzy" in all countries, just in the same way it's not made with lemons in many countries. Same with orange juice, cider/cidre and many other drinks. You're probably aware, but may have forgotten, that if someone specifically asks for a Sprite, then they're from a culture which expects lemonade to be still, made from lemons.

Or how about Cider, alcoholic in the UK, non-alcoholic in the USA

i genuinely didnt know that about lemonade!!

you'd think a typical british holiday maker would think the same as me especially if they are not well travelled...(as i'm not :sad:)