This happened on the 4th sector of the day returning home from Almeria, Spain as we come to the end of the service.

PAX: Do you have any of the wraps left?
CC: Ill just check.
CC: No, sorry. Just the baguettes left im afraid.
PAX: (looking disgusted) What other food do you have?
CC: Lots of things, Pringles, Soup, Mini Cheddars, Snack Packs...
PAX: Thats not food...
CC: (lost for words) Oh ok, can i get you anything else?
PAX:No.

Why do pax expect you to carry at least one of each sandwich for the whole 600 passengers you are meant to carry on that 4 sector day!? Where do they want us to store them..!

LOL! - but were you not tempted to reply "The wed one, of couwse!"

Two stories that made me chuckle:

Pax boards a BA shorthaul flight at the crack of dawn somewhere in Europe, destined for London.
Pax: "Do you have today’s Daily ....?"
C/C: "Sorry sir, we are unable to offer any of today’s British newspapers until we arrive in London for the first time on these early morning flights. They are then available on the flights we do later on in the day. I do have a copy of yesterdays Daily ..... if you are interested?"
Pax: That is just not good enough - what do I have to do to be able to read today's newspapers on these early morning flights?"
C/C: "Fly with us tomorrow!"


and one to balance, a thick Cabin Crew comment to one of my colleagues....


C/C 1 & 2 come in to the flight deck on a beautiful, clear, moon lit night whilst Mid Atlantic on the way back to London.
C/C 1: "Wow, look at the moon, that's amazing! Which is closer, London or the moon?"
Capt - looks round in astonishment and was just about to open his mouth when C/C 2 chipped in..
C/C 2: Der, can you see London?"

Priceless!

Classic Risky Shift by the Pax there. Not there fault, it was probably the case that they were given ambiguos advice by a bored, listless soul who assumed that the Pax were just as privvy to the operation as themself.

Just speak slowly and clearly and you should never allow them to have to make a choice when on or around the apron.

XX

Daft of the Datum

I wasn't bored or listless dd but thanks for the advice; anyone familiar with gate 25 T1 LHR probably knows what I mean.

hot drinks
 

On a flight from BOM..
Pax;(quietly whispering) do you have any hot drinks ?
Me;would you like to have tea or coffee Sir ? (he he)
Pax;(still whispering quietly), no I want hot drinks, hot hot
Me;(knowing what he wants but..) Certainly Sir, would you like to have tea or coffee, oh or perhaps hot chocolate ? (smiling politely )
Pax(again whispering and speaking extra slowly for me...) I want a hot drink...

Im sure many of you know what the pax was requesting !!!


Pax;I want a whisky on the rocks, without ice

Say no more !!!!


Pax, (on entering plane, holds out boarding card ), 2B
Me; Or not to be Sir !!

:)

Sorry, I might be a little on the thick side myself here, but what other "hot" drinks are there??????

Was about to ask the same...

Perhaps implying the 'hot' drinks were infact cold?

or has the whole thing gone over my head?

I'm assuming the pax was referring to an alcoholic beverage. This would make sense if the flight was from an airport in one of the Islamic states where alcohol is banned, but as far as I can tell BOM is in India (Mumbai?) where as far as I know alcohol is not prohibited. Maybe this is a case of a slight mistranslation from the native language to English?

Great thread tho, and to all the people who are making such a big deal about people laughing at pax comments, I say quite simply, GET A LIFE! Go find something that's actually worth fighting about!

Story from the early 1980's from a Singaporean F/O flying with an expat captain. They are somewhere over the Pacific and have invited a very attractive young lady into the cockpit to look around.
Her: ' Whats that little island down there?'
Long silence. Then the captain pulls a diary out of his pocket, turns to the map of the world and says to the F/O:
'Here you are, your eyes are better than mine, you figure out where we are.'
I hope this is not apocryphal, it was told to me as first hand.

hot drinks
 

Gold star for Matt !!
"hot drinks" is the term used by many people from the Indian Subcontinent to mean alcohol..... usually whisky.

:D

In years gone by...
 

Back in the glorious days of Flight Deck Visits.....

Little boy is taken to visit the F/D inflight....

He looks in amazement then says to the Capt; Wow , Do you know what all these buttons do ?
Capt; (smiles )

Story told to my mother who was cabin crew

CC: Would you like a drink

Pax: G+T, thats a gin and tonic to you

CC: would you like ice and a slice, thats frozen water and a bit of lemon to you!

Was flying standby with Mrs Fox4 who was crew to HKG (bearing in mind the 11 hrs 45min flight time) and a curious pax asked her "So are you heading straight back to London when we get to Hong Kong?"

Probably not thick so much as innocent but I believe it happens a lot.

this was on Airline. lol

Hehe, I think that little boy might have been me! (BTW I'm still sure he didn't have a clue what half of them did!) :}

buttons....
 

lol Matt:cool:

Going along the same lines, I always get a giggle from pax during boarding when they ask if they can use the toilets. My reply is always the same, “Sir/Madam; please do, as I would rather you did your business in there than on your seat :o). They see the logic.

Alex

Sorry, but I don't think that is a 'thick comment' as the pax might have flown for other airlines that do not allow toilet use on the ground if say for example the aircraft is refuelling.

If they asked and subsequently tried to use the ashtray on the other hand, then that would be thick :}

I think a lot of passengers worry about using the toilet while the aircraft is on the ground, based on the fact that you used not to be allowed to use the toilet on a train when it was in the station.

Well, an aircraft is just an airbourne train/bus isn't it?? :uhoh:

The tale of the Super bug
 

On clearing in meal trays from pax, pax tells me "there was a bug in my food",
(I look at empty meal dishes and see bug captured under clear plastic lid still crawling around)
" Oh , how awful, could you please tell me where was the bug exactely Sir ?"
Pax; " it was in here " (points to dish which had contained his hot chicken and rice)
Me;" Are you certain it was in the chicken and rice ?"
Pax " Yes it was.Im very upset, I want to speak to the Captain"
Me "You are posisitve it was in the chicken and rice , it wasn't in the salad?"
Pax "No ! It was in there (points to same dish) I want some kind of compensation.I want to speak to the Captain"
Me " Well Sir that really is a remarkable bug to have survived being sealed in this foil dish in an oven at 150 degrees for 20 mins and it is still crawling around." :ugh:
Supervisor(happened to hear conversation)," Just to be sure it came form there , did youtouch the bug sir ? Was it hot ?"

True I remember BJ on Brittania saying it!

Another Day Another $
 

Am I the only one to find pax extremely rude when asked for boarding passes? I want to know that your on My flight going to the Right destination. not asking for a pint of your precious blood:ugh:
one can only grin at the ones who still insist on just taking up their seats as they know exactly where they're seated...only to shout at you when you make the final announcement before door closing once they realise they're supposed to be on another ac going in the opposite direction.
You might think I'm mean but if they wholeheartedly insist on taking their seats and I KNOW they're on the wrong flight, I make them sweat it out a tad. Kodak Moments!:eek: :}

As a person of the self-loading persuasion, I'd like to share a vaguely similar experience I had quite some time ago. My flight into Boston was technically too late to make the onward connection to Europe. But I was a very frequent flyer indeed, and I mentioned my baggage didn't need to make the connection if that would help, so when we landed at Boston I was surrounded by this elite bodyguard-like group of rapid response staff with clearly way too much coffee inside them, who grabbed me, my carry-on and boarding card, rushed me from one gate to the other, did a baton-like handover at the next gate, where Team 2 rushed me on board, stuffed my gear in the overhead bins and made me sit. Unfortunately, I was now en route to MSP.

Absolutely first class thread, cheered up my night shift no end. Keep it coming:D

Its not just the passengers...
 

My other half (crew for a well known carrier) - on the flight deck talking to Captain:
"Its so clear out there... you can't see where the sea stops and the sky starts!"
Captain (eyes rolling to back of head, no-doubt):
"yes, we call it the horizon...."

the so called thick
 

these so called thick pax pay your wages and if you gave half the service expected instead of lip service maybe they would come fly with you again

Take a PILL Alli !!:)

Hey chemical alli this is whats known as a "therapy thread", ie a thread that is light hearted comic relief for those of us in the industry, (and those who appreciate our job), with no harm intended... if you don't like it, I suggest you don't read it - perhaps http://www.readersdisgest.com is more to your liking :ugh: :ok:

And these crew ensure you safety in getting from A-B, alive and well with all your limbs still attached, plus a half decent service. Maybe if you gave them the respect they deserved, they'd give you a little more!

I always say 'Yes' and add the little comment, just when they're closing the door, "Make sure there's no-one below you when you flush!"

Always gets a little smile.

YD

No one's actually asked why there are no windows in aircraft toilets (unless someone else knows differently...) :hmm:

Have you seen the toilets on the A340-600? The premium class toilets claon South African Airways have windows in them. Strange but true!

really when was the last time you had an emergency? oh a ladder in your stocking no doubt

chemicalalli
 

This is meant to be a lighthearted thread about funny things pax do/say.
If you don't like reading it, don't.

And keeping the thread on track........ not so much a thick comment, but I think the crew's response was fantastic....

about 10 years ago, friend was crewing economy on BA. Came to service, was pouring coffee/tea etc etc. Pap looks her up and down as she poured his tea and said, "I bet you wish you'd worked harder in school so that you didn't have to be doing this as a job".

My friend looked at him, and without missing a beat said, "well you obviously didn't either sir, or you'd be flying first class."

Absolutely brilliant! I think she got suspended tho.......:O

May I add SAS' MD90s and A340s. Great view, most of the time.
SAS used to have a really funny TV commercial to promote the then new MDs.
Per

"get a bigger aircraft next time"
do passengers not realise its not quite so cheap and easy as your weekly shop in tescos???

But had not Concorde also got toilets with frosted glass also, one might ask? Could one reach to see in whilst it was on the pan, and would anyone be able to see in, whilst it was in flight (after the big bang?)

I can only think that it must be due to the fear that 'If I can see them, they can see me...' (known as Reverse Ostrich Syndrome) :cool: