I forgive you. Hot coke with ice, please.:}

can't live with pax, can't live without pax :)
 

Last day on early shift, and since it was my last day it had to be the longest, GRO-EMA-BGY-EMA. Let me tell you, that IS a long day and of course you'll pray you have nice pax.
Anyway, boarded, closed doors, safety demo, took off.. Like we all do. Started service once released from our J/S (me and my colleague started from the overwing to the back galley). So as it's part of our jobs, we asked everyone "any drinks or snaks".. you know, the usual. Nothing exciting so far.

Row 21. A-child, B-mother, C-child and D-father.
Mother (looking very nice, pretty face, well dressed...) : What have you got? (bare in mind she had the inflight magazine opened at the menu page!!!)
Me:Sandwiches, hot food, cold drinks,hot drinks, sweets... (smiling). Everything is on the menu.
Mother (with that "oh i'm so posh and i can talk down to the FA cause she's just a trolly dolly" tone in her voice) : I'm sure my children don't like most of all things you got here. What else have you got?
Me: i'm really sorry but we have in the bars just what's on the menu.
Mother: Yeah... i'll have the sour cream pringles for the boys and i'll have a tea.
I served her, gave the kids the pringles, made her the tea, asked her milk and sugar with the tea (still thinking maybe she's a nice person...)
Mother: Yes ( no "yes please") and honey and lemon, not to much honey
Me (still trying to realise when did i do the transition from working for a low fares cost airline to Virgin or BA business class or hey, maybe i was working now on a private Citation10!): I'm very sorry but we are not catered with honey or lemon, just the milk and the sugar.
Mother (getting visibly annoyed): I don't want the tea now. I want a coffee with cream
Me: I'm very sorry but we don't have cream either
Mother: Fine!Just leave it on my tray table
So i did. She gave me the money and we moved on. Finished the service, and then DING (call bell, Mother in 21B)
Me: Yes please
Mother: I want 2 more Pringles.
Me: I'll get that for you in a minute, i just need to finish something
Mother: But they want it now, i can't wait until you decide to serve me.
( At that point I was very close to lose it but hey, gotta keep my calm...)
Me: I'll be with you in a second (and walked away)
By that time my PU was half way down the cabin doing gifts, se must've been by the overwings. Ding! Call bell in row21, B... I look at my PU she makes sign she'll take it. The mother wants, yes, Pringles. My PU tells her she ran out of sour cream, but still has Plain and Salt and Vinegar. She literally shouts at my PU "But the children don't like anything but sour cream!" At that point my PU who is a lovely girl apologizes again and says that's all we have. So the mother had a propper tantrum and that was when my PU heard: coming from 21D : "Louise, will you JUST SHUT UP?" .
That was the Dad. Obviously he couldn't take it anymore and afterwards he came to the galley and apologized for his missus behaviour...
I know tis might be boring for some or for sure you experienced it as well, but what i'm trying to say is that maybe for every nasty pax there's a nice one, so somehow we still have a balance.
Next time i'm gonna tell you how a women accused me of wanting to keep her 80 pence change!!!!
Have fun out there, it's one of the best jobs in the world!:ok:

You were far too nice to that woman!

More stories please!

From a Nancy Reagan lookalike travelling in Aus. Brekky flight full of retired U.S holiday makers. " Do you have decaffinated coffee". On the negative reply she then said "oh dear - I'll have a coke then".

lol lol lol typical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

aaaaaah you can't lick the golden pussy:}:}:}

the expensive gift that made my day :)
 

One of so many many many true inflight stories...
A while ago i received as a gift a very very expensive watch. Now i'm not one of those well too familiar girls to us that pretend to be something they're not. I really appreciated the watch and made me happy as i can't really afford such a luxury (at the moment:()
So finished the service and as we don't get float bags we rely on pax for change. What we do is write down the change if we don't have it so at the end of the service we'll give it back.
I can't remember where we were coming from but it was a long flight, think it was something like Murcia or some other holiday destination where the low fares cost pax will go to cause it's a cheap ticket...
Was walking towards the FWD galley, when a lady pulls my apron (note to self: this is happening way to often. Why are they doing this???:ugh:)
Lady: Excuse me, you owe me 80pence? (I'm thinking, "well at least she said excuse me")
Me (smiling) : Yes i know, it's all written down, i'll get that for you in a minute.
Now i would've kept my mouth shut if she wouldn't have said: "You people are all the same, you always do this. What, do you wanna keep that as your tip for the day?"
My face drops. I'm thinking at that point:
1. What did she just say?
2. It's a 2.30 hrs flight, where am i gonna go with your 80pence change?!?
3. Hmmmm.... I wonder if i have 80pence in my purse to give it to her, so i'll get one thing out of my way
4. Hey!!! She's been horrible since she got in the a/c, she moaned she didn't get the seat she wanted tho she had priority boarding (priority boarding doesn't reserve a certain seat, it's a free sitting airline, first come first served!!!) and she said the sandwiches are horrible as if i would personally bake sandwiches the night before for the flight!!!
So i just turned around, smiled and said: Excuse me , i wear a £700 Gucci watch, i don't think i need your 80 pence?!?
And moved on... to the FWD galley, from where i took a pound coin, went back to the lady who by that time had a vein coming out of her forehead looking like a scene from Piranha or Jaws ( i could actually hear that scary background music we all remember "tan am tan am tanam tanam tanamtanam) and said : "i'm sorry,we don't seem to have any small change but please take this pound coin, don't worry about the 20pence change". And winked at her. And walked away.
Now i know that i might seem a horrible person to some but tell you what: i never ever felt so good in my life. I'm actually avery nice kind girl but there's only so much cr@p i can take from pax... and when she disembarked, tho logically she would go out through the rear door as she was sat somewhere between row25 and row 30, she waited until everyone got off and walked all the way up to the L1 door, the vein still pounding like she found out Elvis and 2Pac are alive and well living next door to her doing kinky stuff to eachother while she was cutting grass with chinese chopsticks.
Please don't think i'm a nasty FA. I'm just human and i have my moments. I'm sorry in a way but boy did i feel good saying that to her!:cool:

Take care and read ya soon.
XX

"Or how about Cider, alcoholic in the UK, non-alcoholic in the USA"

Or cider in Japan which is actually a lemonade type drink. Lots of things are different there. I gave up counting after a while.

"Toilet doors:
Well, maybe the airlines or manufacturers should make it more clear".

Exactly airplane toilet doors have millions of signs on them and they have even more notices and pointless stickers inside.

abusing the sky
 

how i howled at your 80p story!!! the amount of times pax think we're not gonna give them change!!!!

i always make a point of saying to them something like "i havent got any small change at the moment so i'll bring it down it a little while" so hopefully that puts them off thinking i'm gonna steal it..

dont yer just hate it when you lose your list with what you owe written on..:ugh:

walking down the cabin going "did i owe anyone any change":uhoh:

JUL13
 

I can tell you've been there... :) Sure there are the nice ones who say "don't worry about it" and when you DO give them the change they say "Oh, thank you very much" and they smile at you, not expecting giving them back their 15pence change...
I swear to God next time when some bang out of order pax who thinks i'm gonna run away with their 50pence at 35.000feet up in the air, i'll just start crying " Oh no, how am i gonna pay may mortgage now, what am gonna give the kids to eat for dinner for the next 5 centuries if you're taking the 50 pence away from me???"
No matter where you are, up in the sky or on the ground, the rude ones will always remain rude. Unfortunately.
Such is life eh?
Take care. XX:)

On a flight from London to Nice, a woman pax in row one blurted out while doing the safety demo! HA a life jacket, we aren't even going over water!!!


Errrrr. and there was me thinking the UK was an island!

My response, its just incase we drop in the Thames!

Muppet

The quiet American
 

Sir,

You are the kind of American that Europeans think of when tempted by the present administration to regard all Americans as ignorant bullies. God bless you, you are the saviours of the reputation of the USA.

Fortunately, many of us in Europe know that here there are an awful lot of you around and you neutralize those of your citizens who do the Republic no credit.

E pluribus unum.

:D

If juice was concentrate then it wouldnt be sold apart from in a supermarket as concentrates are very strong. Orange juice is orange juice I.E orange and water I buy pure Orange juice I.E Tropicana and wouldn't call that a concentrate as a concentrate is a syrup

I hate people like that. I am English but I would actually start speaking French or Polish just to annoy that woman because it is a free world to speak what language you like. Infact when I was in france I spoke french and wouldn't want to speak english because I like to show respect for others.

Oh Man One us air flight, the attendent said "drinks"

me "Oh can I see what you've got"

She "well tellme what you want and i'll see if ive got it"

But i wanted to see what they had so i could see if i wanted it, so i just took a good look and took it myself. They were free

Good thread this, as a pax I can say I get very frustrated with dim people on planes. On a Virgin flight out of LHR there was an Indian lady who didn't speak much English, she had her kid with her who spoke no English at all - I'd reckon he would be about 3-4 years old. During taxiing to departure the kid would not stay in his seatbelt, and despite several warnings from the CC that the plane wouldn't depart it took off with the kid standing on his seat screaming his head off. Credit to the CC for staying patient, luckily the kid fell asleep for the rest of the journey.

Oh and to the CC who forgot the key for the portable DVD player when the entertainment system in my wifes seat went SNAFU, it was a blessing in disguise as we got a very nice voucher. Although swapping seats meant I had to sit next to the drunk comatose old lady who farted all the way over the Atlantic :-(

Assuming the farty old lady is not your wife, your use of the word "blessing" is exceptionally creative. Well done!

I was always told that the best way to get your own back on an engineer was to subtly place an extra bolt in their parts tray when they were dismantling an engine. When they put it back together they would find an extra bolt and then spend hours trying to find where it was missing from :E

I'm a federal immigration officer here in Canada, so we see a fair number of these genetic marvels after you good folk offload them. Case in point:

Me: Have you ever been arrested anywhere in the world?
Pax: What? Oh yeah, it's a funny story - I got arrested twice on the
same day for possession of marijuana!
Me: (failing to see humour in story) Okay...how much marijuana did
you have in your possession?
Pax: You mean how much marijuana do I have on me right now?
Me: Let's go speak to my friends in Customs and their nice doggy....
(insert handcuff sound here)

"It's amazing the number of crew that won't tell us if they break something. I once found one of the crew life jackets hidden away in one of the over-head stowage bins. Evidently they had somehow managed to inflate it by mistake (God only knows what they were trying to do) and then burst it with a knife from a dinner tray in an attempt to destroy the evidence." :=

Good heavens, man! - what sort of life jackets are these that can be punctured with a piece of plastic poo that won't cut my chicken? :*

GQ

They still are in most countries - it's only the ones with paranoid and incompetent "leaders" and compliant sheeple where they aren't.

when passengers say to each other look there's our plane like they own the a/c idiots

'PilotintheMaking',I totally understand your viewpoint being an engineer. I admire that you guys have to fix so many things in such a short amount of time. I always make a point of fixing our engineers on board a tea or coffee if I have time and if the pax or not there yet. 99% of the engineers in my airline are the nicest people and they totally understand us. Unfortunately we do pour the coffee down the drain because we are too lazy to walk to the toilet with coffee pots and when we get there it is occupied.....The coffee at my airline does not leave granules (filterbags in coffee brewer) in the sink however apparently it stains the 'body' of the aircraft and that is expensive to clean. That is what they tell us anyways. In our airline it is mostly the seats that get broken. Screens that do not work.

"ops491" or whatever your username is, as i cant quote in this darn thing.

I say "there's my baby" even though I went on it a month ago. There's nothing wrong with saying it. That's just being ignorant.

Had a good one the other day, aircraft was delayed (the famous coffee down the galley sink again:*:=), I was in a rush to sort out the fuel with the flight deck to get the aircraft away, and I was in a foul mood. A passenger stopped me as I was walking through the cabin on the upper deck to the cockpit.

The conversation went as follows:-

Pax: Why is the aircraft delayed, is there a problem with it?

Me: No madam, it's absolutely fine, we just had a blocked sink that they wanted us to clear out before the aircraft departed.

Pax: So that won't cause the aircraft to crash?

Like a blocked sink is going to cause an aircraft to drop out of the sky! :ugh:

Me: No madam, the worst that can happen if it blocks up again is the sink will overflow and make the galley floor a bit wet and slippery.

Pax: The aircraft is safe to fly then, everything is ok, it's not going to crash or anything like that?

At this point I became slightly impatient, like I'm going to send an unsafe aircraft flying with 300-400 passengers and crew on it. My sarcastic sense of humour kicked in and I said something that maybe I shouldn't have. :rolleyes:

Me: Oh definatley not madam, the aircraft is thouroughly checked over each time before it goes flying. I checked it myself and I can assure you that you have a good set of wheels, two wings and you still have three engines bolted to the wings.

Pax: I thought the 747 had four engines?

Me: It does, unfortunatly the gaffa tape that they used at the other end wasn't really up to the task, we've got the coast guard out looking for the other engine as we speek, I guess they will re-attach it the other end!

The passenger looked somewhat nervous and said: Can this aircraft actually fly on three.........

(The passenger trailed off, paused, saw the smirk on my face, looked out of the window and started laughing)

Pax: Oh you're such a tease. That was a cruel joke. :D

Me: On a serious note madam, I can assure you that we have thoroughly checked the aircraft over and we would not allow it to depart if it was unsafe.

It was very naughty of me and I shouldn't have said it, but thankfully she saw the funney side of it. If she had complained, I could have been in a lot of trouble. :=

Some people will believe just about anything!

"Some people will believe just about anything!"

A bit like your most of your posts PITM..........:rolleyes:

Seldomfitforpurpose, you are missing the point AGAIN!!!
 

Because this debate is becoming a bit more lengthly than I hoped, I opted to edit this post rather than add to it:-

Quote:

---

PITM,
Touched no nerve with me old boy as I am not CC or a civilian however my 30 odd years of aviation and flying experiance have honed my bull!!!!ometer and reading your posts has it banging off scale quite a lot

---

When does the tool serviceability label say the calibration date is? It sounds like the calibration might be overdue!!!!! :p

I never thought I'd degrade myself to your level and start slagging people off on Pprune (something I always said I wouldn't do), but your posts did make me laugh, and my bull****ometer (although with less than 30 years, but probably more commercial experience than yours) is now going into overdrive. :}

I am always going to doubt the experience of anyone who states that they have been in aviation for 30 years, which is always one of the first lines that someone comes out with when they really don't have a clue about the subject. :ugh:

You state that you are not cabin crew or civilian, which rules out just about any job to do with commercial aviation. Having had a very brief look at your previous posts, you appear to be a pilot for the military, which from what I have been told from former military pilots and engineers, is very different to commercial aviation. If you have been in the military for 30 years then you are probably quite high ranking, and hence used to bossing people around, and judging by some of your posts, have a bit of an attitude problem. :=

It is interesting how up till now, you don't appear to have any experience in commercial aviation, and have not posted in any of the threads relating to commercial avaition, and then you claim to be an expert and accuse people of bulls**tting on a subject you have no clue about!

If you don't believe the sort of stories that people are telling on here, then you are very nieve about the commercial aviation industry, as in my experience, these things unfourtunatly do happen, some of them fairly regularly. However, in order to keep you happy I have deleted most of my previous posts.

If you don't like the so called ''bulls**t'' that people are posting on the commercial aviation threads, you don't have to read it if you don't want to, but don't come one here slagging people off when they are just trying to take part in a bit of friendly fun by posting their experiences, ''old boy''! :D

(I didn't know people still said that, I thought it went out the window years ago. You are showing your age). :rolleyes:

One day a passenger dropped his watch into the toilet and was clever enough to flush it.:rolleyes:
It took about 2 hours for the engineers to get it out as pax wanted it back!!!!:ugh:
Yuck!


Not sure if it had caused the loo to block, but I really did feel sorry for that poor engineer having to take the toilet apart and dig in it for two hours!!! :sad:

Toilets are admittedly a slightly unfourtunate and unpleasent side to the job I will admit. Really can't see why the passenger would want it back after it had been in the bog. Some people are strange. :confused:

Had an aircraft came in a few weeks ago. The crew reported a blocked sink in one of the toilets. Found that someone had removed the plug and the strainer (they just lift out on our aircraft) and then stuffed a load of carrots and a small plastic toy soldier down it. :ugh:

It does kind of make you wander what drives some people. :rolleyes:

Pilot_in_the_making I do agree with you regarding some crew!! Eventhough some crew has taken it personal, it is true that some people should not be doing this job.

And I also agree that some crew don't care much about writting down the defects on the book, but they keep complaining about not being fixed! How is it going to be fixed if we don't write it down!!!

BUT LETS GO BACK TO THICK PAX which is what we like!!

The other day in a flight to larnaca we had the most weird pax!! It was like a mad house!!

One of the pax asked the purser:
Pax: what type of a/c is this?
SCCM: 767-300
Pax: no, who does it belong to?
SCCM: Company name
Pax: no, what type of a/c?
SCCM: 767-300
Pax: no, you know like BA, Virgin, etc
SCCM: Company name
Pax: no, what does it say outside on the a/c?
SCCM: Company name
Pax: no! it fu:mad: doesn't!!!!
:ugh:

PITM,

Touched no nerve with me old boy as I am not CC or a civilian however my 30 odd years of aviation and flying experiance have honed my bull!!!!ometer and reading your posts has it banging off scale quite a lot :rolleyes:

I once had an angry woman (well dressed and well spoken) demand my crew sandwich because we ran out of passenger sandwiches.

I worked for a low cost airline.

Yeah lady, you just have my sarnie whilst I pass out from hunger from working an 11 hour without food.

Working on a CUN - LGW flight we passed through moderate clear air turbulence. The seat belt sign was on and a woman decided to go to the toilet.
I advised her that the seat belt sign was on, and to take care. She said 'I know, I am ok as I am a frequent flyer!!'
Does that make her immune for any sort of injury!?

SLF here. I was recently sitting next to a guy who tried to eat his moist towelette out in the Middle East. Quickly spat it out, into his sick bag. This was plane full of migrant workers routing Dxb-Doha on their way home, very inexperienced air travellers. Totally different crew behaviour shown towards Europeans/migrant workers. I don't know if I would call it racism. It was certainly pragmatic.

A captain once wanted my food and complained he doesnt like the food the crew gave him. I informed him this is not airline food. I cooked this food at home and plated and heated it onboard to eat!:} This after the captain took the first class crew's sandwiches because he wasnt satisfied with the type of sandwiches that was given to him. Too much ego and selfishness!

Walking through the cabin this morning...

Any tea, would you like some tea, lovely cup of tea...

Pax waves their cup in my face

(Is that a "yes please, I'd love a brew")

Plonks it on my tray without a word.

I pour in the aforementioned beverage.

Pax removes cup, and states "sugar".

Arrggghhhhh

"I'm not stupid, I can understand whole sentances" but instead of saying anything I simply smiled and invited them to help themselves from the bowl on the tray.

Off I trot down the cabin when I hear pax shouting "I wanted coffee you f**king idiot"

What what what??? Now my back is up.

"What part of my saying tea, tea, tea lead you to believe I was serving coffee?"

"Don't speak to me like that, I pay your f**king wages. Go and pour this !!!! down the sink and get me a f**king coffee"

I stared at him, then continued on because I really didn't know what to do or say other than f**k off you f**king c**t! I now of course have thousands of cutting comebacks.

This "gentleman" was travelling with his wife and two children. What a great example to set them.

I'm not sure if this should be posted somewhere else but I'd like to know what other crew would have said / done to this guy.

R.S when he said "Don't speak to me like that, I pay your f**king wages" you should have said oh good can I have a rise then. :)

I work on the railways as I have said on another post.
And we get stupid Questions too like.

At Manchester Victoria. "Is this Train going To Leeds","Yes","Does it stop at Rochdale". Why 2 questions for one answer.

any way this is a plane forum not at a railway so I will stop there.



Big T

r.s
 

I take it you were way up in the sky otherwise you would've off loaded him :ouch:. next time you come across people like him you say:
A: Please mind your language, there are other people around you and i'm sure they don't appreciate it.
B: You are what we call a "disruptive pax" so carry on and we WILL have the police waiting for you on arrival
C: I am not your made nor your slave. I am here firstly for your safety in case of an emergency, then to offer you drinks (you never say "serve you drinks" cause the idiot will say that you are his servant). So technically your life is in my hands (smile.and wink, they don't like that)
D: Anything else i can get you, water, more sugar, a "Good manners " book?
Just the other day i was disembarking and this pax stops (this part has been changed after the moderator in all fairness pointed i said something i shouldn't have and he is so right) and says to me: "The landing was horrible, very poor and too bumpy"
My face drops (well my face drops when pax open their mouth roughly 400times a day...:)).I'm looking at my uniform, yup, i still wear the skirt, still have high heals, one wing...my name badge is till there, yup, i'm still a flight attendant, NOT A PILOT!!!!!!!!!!!!! So i smiled at him and said "i'll inform the Flight Deck about your comment but can i just suggest that next time you do the landing?" and continued saying "bye bye, thank you, have a nice day" to the remaining pax.
We have to addmit we have the best jobs in the world, i now a days don't get annoyed cause of Delta Foxtrots (the nice way to say Dumb F:mad:s), i just have a good laugh after my day is finished on their expense. The best way to get your own back at rude pax r.s is to smile even more and be more nice to them. :ok:
Read you soon. take care. XX