If I had a dollar for.....
Join Date: Sep 2005
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If i had a dollar.....
.....for every time I hear someone in a departure lounge, bus, street, cabin seat singing- 'air hostess....I like the way you dress'.....( followed by muffled giggles) It's getting old, y'know what I'm saying. 
Join Date: Aug 2003
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It's been hinted on, but let's have a general whipround to raise funds for all of us who've encountered pax who seem hypnotised/baffled/stimulated by the fact that CC actually eat and drink. Now, for every time I've had at least one come into the galley during a night flight and stand there studying me while I tried desperately to ingest my crew meal... Usually to come up with, at some point, either, "Oh, are you enjoying your dinner?" (I was till you came in and gave me gastritis 
) or "Sorry to interrupt your meal, BUT............" (endless and seriously irritating needless request..)
) or "Sorry to interrupt your meal, BUT............" (endless and seriously irritating needless request..)
Join Date: Jan 2005
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.... for every time a passenger will take an item out of an overhead locker, sit down and leave the locker open. (I normally then walk through the cabin and slam the locker with such force that anyone would think we had just had an explosive decompression 
)
.... for every time I am eating my crew meal in the galley and a passenger will suddenly appear with a hand full of rubbish and say 'can you get rid of this for me'
.... for every time I have been asked 'do you know the match score?' to which I reply 'no I have been stuck in this tin can since x o'clock and haven't even had a chance to scratch my balls' (well not quite that rude but you get the general idea
)
.... every time I have been asked to contact the Captain to find out the cricket/football score - to which I reply 'I believe he is probably a little bit too busy flying this thing than to find out a score for you' (in truth he is reading Loaded or Heat magazine
)
).... for every time I am eating my crew meal in the galley and a passenger will suddenly appear with a hand full of rubbish and say 'can you get rid of this for me'
.... for every time I have been asked 'do you know the match score?' to which I reply 'no I have been stuck in this tin can since x o'clock and haven't even had a chance to scratch my balls' (well not quite that rude but you get the general idea
).... every time I have been asked to contact the Captain to find out the cricket/football score - to which I reply 'I believe he is probably a little bit too busy flying this thing than to find out a score for you' (in truth he is reading Loaded or Heat magazine
)
Join Date: Apr 2004
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if i had a pound for:
-every passenger who want to use the toilet when the sit belt sign goes on for landing;
-every passenger who unfasten the sit belt on taxing after landing;
-every passenger who has an unruly child who appears not wanting to sit down;
-every couple sitting across the aisle and asking for two sits together; (fligth time 1h 40m);
-every passenger queueing at the only front toilet however invited to use the 3 at the back which are empty;
-every passenger trying to squeeze through the throlley to get back to their sit;
-every passenger trying to hand you out their rubbish when my only two hands are already full of stuff;
-every passenger attempting to leave their rubbish on an already overfilled gash cart;
-every passenger asking where i am from;
-every passenger asking for a drink minutes after the drink cart has been restowed.
-every passenger who want to use the toilet when the sit belt sign goes on for landing;
-every passenger who unfasten the sit belt on taxing after landing;
-every passenger who has an unruly child who appears not wanting to sit down;
-every couple sitting across the aisle and asking for two sits together; (fligth time 1h 40m);
-every passenger queueing at the only front toilet however invited to use the 3 at the back which are empty;
-every passenger trying to squeeze through the throlley to get back to their sit;
-every passenger trying to hand you out their rubbish when my only two hands are already full of stuff;
-every passenger attempting to leave their rubbish on an already overfilled gash cart;
-every passenger asking where i am from;
-every passenger asking for a drink minutes after the drink cart has been restowed.
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: London, United Kingdom
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Every time when we land back at LHR (Our home base) late at night, and we get asked "are you flying back to XXX now" ....er, yes, despite our name, we are actually based in a foreign country, and will be flying straight back again.
..or.. "Is that it for today??? " ... er, no, despite having just done two sectors of 3hrs plus, we are now rostered to fly London -- Singapore in an hours' time.
..or.. when we arrive at an outstation late at night, "so, if you are staying here until tomorrow, will you be staying at a hotel??" .... er, no, why should we --- they'll be plenty of room on here once you've all got off.
..or.. do you know my next-door-neighbours second cousin, twice removed - she works for this airline - her name is Anne / Jane / Julie /Mary - I don't know her surname, but I know she works with this airline??" er, I'll need a bit more info than that.....
"Really ?? You must know her, she flies from Heathrow"
..or.. "Is that it for today??? " ... er, no, despite having just done two sectors of 3hrs plus, we are now rostered to fly London -- Singapore in an hours' time.
..or.. when we arrive at an outstation late at night, "so, if you are staying here until tomorrow, will you be staying at a hotel??" .... er, no, why should we --- they'll be plenty of room on here once you've all got off.
..or.. do you know my next-door-neighbours second cousin, twice removed - she works for this airline - her name is Anne / Jane / Julie /Mary - I don't know her surname, but I know she works with this airline??" er, I'll need a bit more info than that.....
"Really ?? You must know her, she flies from Heathrow"
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: here there and everywhere
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Even just a cent!
Oh I would be so rich.....
Typical flight London - Italy. Club Europe cabin full of American passengers going on Med cruises, romantic breaks etc.
Me: "Madam would you like a hot towel?"
Madam: "Sure...." - opens her hand
Me: "Madam it's better if you handle it with care as it is REALLY hot" (We make them with boiling water from the brewers)
Madam: "oh....don't you have any COLD hot towels?"
Me: "................" (no suitable word comes to my head quickly enough so I decide to shut up).
PS: no offence to Americans, but many of my passengers from the other side of the Ocean seem to think that Hot Towel is a word!
Other example:
Pax asks "What is it?" - me: "It's a cheese and ham pizza"
Pax: "Oh, is it vegetarian?"
I sometimes think I might as well be a primary school teacher
FBW
Typical flight London - Italy. Club Europe cabin full of American passengers going on Med cruises, romantic breaks etc.
Me: "Madam would you like a hot towel?"
Madam: "Sure...." - opens her hand
Me: "Madam it's better if you handle it with care as it is REALLY hot" (We make them with boiling water from the brewers)
Madam: "oh....don't you have any COLD hot towels?"
Me: "................" (no suitable word comes to my head quickly enough so I decide to shut up).
PS: no offence to Americans, but many of my passengers from the other side of the Ocean seem to think that Hot Towel is a word!
Other example:
Pax asks "What is it?" - me: "It's a cheese and ham pizza"
Pax: "Oh, is it vegetarian?"
I sometimes think I might as well be a primary school teacher FBW
Paxing All Over The World
Is there any chance you could find someone who can read well, and might be able to help me with this form?
If this thread is read by too many people, CC recrutiment will grind to a halt!! Many thanks for the entertainment. As a pax I can only contribute this from a CC on a LGW to MBJ, "Woman with baby in her arms boards the flight and asks, ' Do you have any nappies?' this when the time from leaving her home to getting to her final destination will be at least ten hours ... sure glad that she ain't my mother!"
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Sydney Oz
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A $ for every time I:
* see the same passenger more than once & they ask "Are you always on this route?" Me: "yes mam, I specialize in Sydney to Canberra, but my colleagues fly all over south eastern Australia."
* a passenger asks, "how often do you work on international flights?" "no, sir, this is a regional airline, we do not fly internationally."
* when I pour someone a coffee (after clearly saying "would you like some coffee?"), and they look at me blankly and say, "oh, I wanted tea."
* and my personal favourite, "the check in staff said I could bring this into the cabin", referring to a bag a fraction smaller than a mini bus.
* see the same passenger more than once & they ask "Are you always on this route?" Me: "yes mam, I specialize in Sydney to Canberra, but my colleagues fly all over south eastern Australia."
* a passenger asks, "how often do you work on international flights?" "no, sir, this is a regional airline, we do not fly internationally."
* when I pour someone a coffee (after clearly saying "would you like some coffee?"), and they look at me blankly and say, "oh, I wanted tea."
* and my personal favourite, "the check in staff said I could bring this into the cabin", referring to a bag a fraction smaller than a mini bus.
Join Date: Mar 2004
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I'd have all the money in the world...
....Why, why, why......
Every time I answer a call bell I'm greeted with the same response...
"Hiya, everything OK?"
"Yes, thanks"
"You have your call light on"
"Oh really? Well I didn't press it"
"No Sir/Madam I realise that the gremlins did it but would you be a love and turn it off for me?!"
(Cue lots of huffing and puffing)
"Well how do I turn it off?"
"The same way you...SORRY...the gremlins turned it on"
Every time I answer a call bell I'm greeted with the same response...
"Hiya, everything OK?"
"Yes, thanks"
"You have your call light on"
"Oh really? Well I didn't press it"
"No Sir/Madam I realise that the gremlins did it but would you be a love and turn it off for me?!"
(Cue lots of huffing and puffing)
"Well how do I turn it off?"
"The same way you...SORRY...the gremlins turned it on"
Join Date: Apr 2005
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A dollar for everytime (when i am welcoming at the door) a pax asked me if there was going to be a movie on this flight, Syd-Mel (approx 1hr sector). No sorry, not enough time ma'am - and then they tell you how disappointed their kids will be now!
Or when your at the door and you get the old "ground staff said to ask you about an upgrade".... my response "oh really... well if you just want to stand aside i'll just get ground staff to come down and organise that for you if thats what they said". Amazing how they quickly take their seat down in 54F!
Or when your at the door and you get the old "ground staff said to ask you about an upgrade".... my response "oh really... well if you just want to stand aside i'll just get ground staff to come down and organise that for you if thats what they said". Amazing how they quickly take their seat down in 54F!
Join Date: May 2004
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$$$$$$$$$$$$
Anyone that works at Jetstar or a similiar budget airline will know this one:
Pax walks from front of aircraft all the way to rear only to look at boarding pass with an extremely confused expression on face.
If I had a dollar for everytime I said :
"Its free seating Sir/Mam, you can sit anywhere you like"
I would be a very rich woman!
Pax walks from front of aircraft all the way to rear only to look at boarding pass with an extremely confused expression on face.
If I had a dollar for everytime I said :
"Its free seating Sir/Mam, you can sit anywhere you like"
I would be a very rich woman!
Join Date: Jun 2004
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When I walked into a galley once to ask for a drink of water and found a couple of cabin staff eating their meal I apologised and said i would come back later. I think that caused more confusion than if I had demanded service anyway their was no way I was allowed to leave until I got my drink.
Reversing the thread a little what percentage of pax are polite to you????
Reversing the thread a little what percentage of pax are polite to you????
1DC, I did the same once and had the same service. I did NOT expect or want to interrupt cc on their break just because I wanted some water. Some of us (pax) do appreciate the work cc do and try not to cause inconvenience.
As an aside, I find +7hr sectors really boring and travelling alone with a snoring person in the next seat, I often find myself at the back of the cabin looking out of the window trying to keep out of the way and pass the time (I can never sleep in economy/cattle and my budget prohibits any other class). My question is this ... do cc mind if pax engage them in conversation (NO - not trying to pick them up). Obviously if you're clearly engaged in activity - trolley, meal preperation etc then the answer would obviously be no.
Just curious and trying to avoid causing (further) offence.
As an aside, I find +7hr sectors really boring and travelling alone with a snoring person in the next seat, I often find myself at the back of the cabin looking out of the window trying to keep out of the way and pass the time (I can never sleep in economy/cattle and my budget prohibits any other class). My question is this ... do cc mind if pax engage them in conversation (NO - not trying to pick them up). Obviously if you're clearly engaged in activity - trolley, meal preperation etc then the answer would obviously be no.
Just curious and trying to avoid causing (further) offence.
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My question is this ... do cc mind if pax engage them in conversation (NO - not trying to pick them up).
As much as we bitch and moan about them sometimes, as someone has already said 99% of pax are great and you meet some really great people!
Paxing All Over The World
PAX here: On many long haul flights (mainly VS for me) the CC will leave a tray of water, orange juice and snacks in the galley. Usually on the counter nearest to the curtain, so taht you can easily help yourself without disturbing their meal and chat.
I still chuckle over the story (here some months ago):
Tea or Coffee, Sir?
[wearing headphones] Yes.
Would that be Tea or Coffee Sir?
[still with headphones] Yes, thank you.
CC then pours a half and half mixture of tea and coffee into the cup and moves on to the next row, knowing that they have fulfilled their calling in life.
I still chuckle over the story (here some months ago):
Tea or Coffee, Sir?
[wearing headphones] Yes.
Would that be Tea or Coffee Sir?
[still with headphones] Yes, thank you.
CC then pours a half and half mixture of tea and coffee into the cup and moves on to the next row, knowing that they have fulfilled their calling in life.
Join Date: Sep 2002
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You all do great job!!
I am one of the chaps who usually drives smaller passenger aircraft and ones who's wings move quickler than the fusalarge, so don't have the pleasure of air crew. However, I do travel from PHL-LGW/LHR a bit, and you all do a great job, and you all must have a great sense of humour. Keep up your good work. The best flight brief I heard once was from a US company air stewardess who made it funny, wish it could all be like this. One example, just as the A/C stops at the terminal and the seat belt sign has been turned off, you here the symphony of seat belts undoing, to her saying" All rise" that cracked me up!!
Anyway you do a great job, and thanks for the occasionaly upgrades..
Darren
Anyway you do a great job, and thanks for the occasionaly upgrades..
Darren