Caption competition
I'matightbastard
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The new police hovercraft was quite a hit with the force and showed excellent potential..until, that is, it encountered its first brick wall.
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As Burberry became less popular on Chavington Estates, a new and arguably smarter paint scheme was co-opted by the younger element of the townsfolk.
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Sergeant Jackson chewed his moustache pensively. His SWAT team was in place and alert and he knew it was only a matter of time before "some little chav bastid" took the bait.
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The dawn swoop had started out well enough, but all his colleagues had known that Constable Clackthwaite would find it difficult to arrest the Widow "Chesty" Chesterton, once the handcuffs were in place.
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Sergeant Grumbleton had snapped up the offer of "a wonderful new post" and it was only later that he realised it was in fact a lamp post.
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On reflection, he thought he had done a wonderful job of parking, especially considering how many he'd had at the annual Policemans' Ball the preceeding night.
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As Burberry became less popular on Chavington Estates, a new and arguably smarter paint scheme was co-opted by the younger element of the townsfolk.
===
Sergeant Jackson chewed his moustache pensively. His SWAT team was in place and alert and he knew it was only a matter of time before "some little chav bastid" took the bait.
===
The dawn swoop had started out well enough, but all his colleagues had known that Constable Clackthwaite would find it difficult to arrest the Widow "Chesty" Chesterton, once the handcuffs were in place.
===
Sergeant Grumbleton had snapped up the offer of "a wonderful new post" and it was only later that he realised it was in fact a lamp post.
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On reflection, he thought he had done a wonderful job of parking, especially considering how many he'd had at the annual Policemans' Ball the preceeding night.
Last edited by Onan the Clumsy; 1st Jun 2005 at 14:36.
pneumono
ultramicroscopic
silicovolcano
coniosis
ultramicroscopic
silicovolcano
coniosis
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New Labours policy to reduce the road death toll demanded that all pursuits be undertaken on the pavement.
One upside was that it made parking easier.
or
Claims of falling entry standards were magnified by the new covert surveillance teams blatant inability to grasp the concept.
Last edited by Go Smoke; 1st Jun 2005 at 16:06.
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The American Exchange police post was going well until the driving phase... an apparant misunderstanding of the term driving on the 'Pavement' led to the deaths of 14 innocent pedestrians.
I'matightbastard
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The little thugs were giving the Police a warning this time. Next time the car would be well and truly hidden in the back yard behind the coal shed.
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As participants in the Free Patrol Car program, The local Police made a attempt to disprove the myth that FORD stood for Found On Road Daily
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The actors found a safe place to take a break whilst the American Producer and the English Director argued over whether the show should be called Zed Cars or Zee Cars.
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The first of the new cars delivered to the covert operations unit was not a great success.
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How slowly the minutes ticked by as Constable Blaylock waited in vain for the approach of the two wheeled Piper.
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As participants in the Free Patrol Car program, The local Police made a attempt to disprove the myth that FORD stood for Found On Road Daily
===
The actors found a safe place to take a break whilst the American Producer and the English Director argued over whether the show should be called Zed Cars or Zee Cars.
===
The first of the new cars delivered to the covert operations unit was not a great success.
===
How slowly the minutes ticked by as Constable Blaylock waited in vain for the approach of the two wheeled Piper.
I'matightbastard
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Meanwhile, as Sergeant Grimes was upstais giving Mrs. Anderton a right old seeing too, the coalmine went on strike, and what had earlier been a clear road became solid parking for as far as the eye could see. Poor old Sergeant Grimes 
Join Date: May 2000
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After daring to decorate the walls of his quarter in a non-standard colour, Sgt Bloggs was sent a subliminal reminder of the short link between those from whom he rented and those offering a night in the cells.
(The answer's there on a plate!
)
(The answer's there on a plate!
)
"Gee Inspector, great idea you had to hide the speed camera in the car....they will never see it there!"
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After breaking down Mr Cuddleswaith's front gate in a mistaken arrest-op, the police had promised to provide a cost-effective, part-time replacement until the original could be fixed.
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If that's a personalised number plate (DHE) are we seeing the introduction of Married Quarters Police?
No parking on the grass, clean up after the dog, stop your kids nicking next doors gate, keep the noise down, stop flicking the 'V's at jets in the circuit...
No parking on the grass, clean up after the dog, stop your kids nicking next doors gate, keep the noise down, stop flicking the 'V's at jets in the circuit...
I'matightbastard
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The police were having difficulty recruiting, but the addition of the blue lights certainly stirred some interest amongst the local Chavs.
"If only the uniform had more Bling" mused Chief Superintendent Snodgrass one day over a cup of tea in the nick canteen "maybe the little numbers on the shoulders could be replaced with four inch high medallions."
"Good idea" responded his companion, a petite little wpc "but you'd have to make them all PC 1"
"If only the uniform had more Bling" mused Chief Superintendent Snodgrass one day over a cup of tea in the nick canteen "maybe the little numbers on the shoulders could be replaced with four inch high medallions."
"Good idea" responded his companion, a petite little wpc "but you'd have to make them all PC 1"
Join Date: Oct 2001
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Nothing to do with the comp, but Onan, your mail box is full (Can't send you a PM), dread to think with what, but looking at your posts, it's probably messages of condolences.
Just wanted to thank you for selecting my entry for the last but two comps as bestest.
Rgds SP
Just wanted to thank you for selecting my entry for the last but two comps as bestest.
Rgds SP