Caption competition

[ACW599]

"Look, Mr Salesman, on the website it definitely said power-fold mirrors, a leather interior and digital radio. I can't see any of those. And it's only got a space-saver spare as well".

[JugglingSpence]

Pilot: "Mate, I don't care if you can fit in there, you're not getting a lift anywhere!! Now get out!"

[Rigger1]

“Oooh – it’s going to cost you mate – head gaskets gone, fan belts slipping, plugs need replacing and it could really do with an oil change. It may look like a top of the range invisible jet but it’s been thrashed by a boy racer”

[chris_tivver]

What the $%£$ do you mean "does it take unleaded or diesel"?

[Hempy]

"Ok, one more time. First you suck, then you squeeze, then you bang, then you blow.....now get back down there and button up I'm cleared for immediate."

[PingDit]

"OK, give me a clue - which end's the front?"

[Roadster280]

Sir, I've looked, looked, and looked again. Your cellphone is NOT in here!

[Rigga]

"...No! - I've been trying to get out for the last 500 miles!"

[Tricorn]

Most of the captions seem to be in - so asuming I have to pick a winner I will try and do that tomorrow (Sunday).

If the winner is normally selected by a third party / committee, let me know please.

[TheWizard]

"I need more power R2"

[Dan D'air]

"You are really in for it now, this IS a hi-vis jacket and you have got the wrong type of horses coming out of the back end".

[LBGR]

Oi! Excuse me Sir, when the computer says there is an obstruction in number two engine, there is a bloody obstruction in number two engine!!

[andrewmcharlton]

"I can't even see it with a torch chief"

"That's because its cross section is so small its almost invisible"

[TyroPicard]

Hancock to Control Tower.....

[Tricorn]

And the winner is.................

Thanks for all the entries, I had fun trying to find a winner, so...

in reverse order........

3rd - 'You do that once more while I'm down there and this torch is going where the sun don't shine!'
By mystic meg

2nd - "Bloody "stealth technology" - how am I meant to fix something if I can't see it"
By Phil gollin

And my favourite.....

1st - R2 You're Alive!
By RB877

RB877, you have control..........

[RB877]

Wow, many thanks Tricorn.

Hope this one hasn't been before, off you go.

RB

[Beatriz Fontana]

GWB: "Where did you say Australia was again?"

[flipster]

uummm....so where exactly in Europe is um..Australia?
I didn't think you had a Navy?

[ShyTorque]

You're right - he does have bigger boobs than you!

[brickhistory]

"'Scuse me, miss. Would you mind tellin' yer pardner that we've already got someone to play 'Smokey the Bear?'