You Know You Are In Africa When.....
Join Date: Nov 2010
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@nickballack123
ha ha ha ha ha
you so funny!
Melax finds a hilarious news report about using stimulators (NOT simulators) to train pilots, and you point out that Nigeria doesn't use SIMULATORS.
Which is exactly what the news article and melax are saying...
Get trained in Nigeria, they don't use simulators, they use stimulators...
What are they stimulating with the stimulators?
Only in Africa (OK, this kind of thing happens in a lot of countries, in a lot of newspapers and news sites, but it happens in Africa a lot)
ha ha ha ha ha
you so funny!
Melax finds a hilarious news report about using stimulators (NOT simulators) to train pilots, and you point out that Nigeria doesn't use SIMULATORS.
Which is exactly what the news article and melax are saying...
Get trained in Nigeria, they don't use simulators, they use stimulators...
What are they stimulating with the stimulators?
Only in Africa (OK, this kind of thing happens in a lot of countries, in a lot of newspapers and news sites, but it happens in Africa a lot)
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Your airline purposely splits up families vis a vis seating so that they wont gang up on your cabin crew. After a 14 hour duty day, the cabin crew are forced to stay on the aircraft until the company "security" agents inspect their baggage for stolen booze. The same "security" agents try to blackmail the cabin crew for buying condoms in Dubai. The ramp agent tells you that he thinks the broken seat is ok and can take passengers even though its MEL'd and quite obviously broken. You're expected to use your own credit card for fuel and airport fees after a diversion and are called "unreliable and disloyal" when you refuse. You can't do your own loadsheet as you have a load controller that takes 45 minutes to do it and must come on all flights. The white people that work outside of flight ops arent qualified to be a McDonalds manager but somehow are executives and department heads. The aircraft you command is the most expensive item or project not just in the country, but the entire region.
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Temp Spike: .... One day Africa is going to explode into economic opportunity to make China look like a Kiosk.
By then, China may be owning half of Africa
By then, China may be owning half of Africa
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Since my more sincere post was removed, I will simply reiterate my meaning.
Do not worry about China. It’s already been factored in....but your concern is touching.
Do not worry about China. It’s already been factored in....but your concern is touching.
Last edited by Temp Spike; 2nd Jan 2013 at 20:46.
Live Wargames in Mali (Anti Terrorism training)
Well you know you're in..... when in order to save the ever precious Ammo, you make various noises to simulate live fire.... Maybe the US and Europe can learn from it and incorporate this very $ saving technique so we can borrow less 
from the great Dragon AKA China. I love the pan pan pan, pow pow bang bang.....
One guy even had a full auto sound scheme...
They can also use "STIMULATORS" like the Nigerians... (See my post # 560)
No wonder why 2/3rd of Mali was taken over by various factions in a record time !!
A must see Video for Special forces...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?featur...&v=PkFBjBqWzAc
from the great Dragon AKA China. I love the pan pan pan, pow pow bang bang..... One guy even had a full auto sound scheme...They can also use "STIMULATORS" like the Nigerians... (See my post # 560)
No wonder why 2/3rd of Mali was taken over by various factions in a record time !!
A must see Video for Special forces...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?featur...&v=PkFBjBqWzAc
Last edited by Melax; 15th Jan 2013 at 13:58.
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you know you in africa when:
- The Marshall's know all the signs. but not how to use them.
- If you follow the yellow lines in the apron you will drive straight in to an A/c
- You get a hold overhead the airfield, while they tru to get the goats off the runway.
- The Marshall's know all the signs. but not how to use them.
- If you follow the yellow lines in the apron you will drive straight in to an A/c
- You get a hold overhead the airfield, while they tru to get the goats off the runway.
You know you're in........... When the Country public account has a balance of
..... $ US 217.00
BBC News - Zimbabwe says public account stood at $217 last week
..... $ US 217.00BBC News - Zimbabwe says public account stood at $217 last week
Join Date: Feb 2012
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That probably puts them in a stronger position than many of the EU countries. On the other hand, the EU figures are all falsified, whereas the current bunch of goons running Zimbabwe's economy wouldn't have the wit to do that.
Ironic that 30 years of 'majority democratic' rule have reduced what was once the finest and stablest country in Africa to a wreck.
Where is Permatan Pete ...... very quiet these days, along with all the other sanctimonious pricks who postured for Rhodesia to be 'freed' from the 'tyranny' of white rule.
Ironic that 30 years of 'majority democratic' rule have reduced what was once the finest and stablest country in Africa to a wreck.
Where is Permatan Pete ...... very quiet these days, along with all the other sanctimonious pricks who postured for Rhodesia to be 'freed' from the 'tyranny' of white rule.
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When one of the natives fails his CPL exams more than 300 times.
Told to wee on the tyre because to keep away the animals.
Told to allways carry your blood type.
Spend you flight dodging massive thunderstorms .
When making a emergency landing in field the only thing to worry about is hoping you won't get robbed when you service.
Oh and everything you learnt in Jaa ATPLs is the complete opposite in the South African exams .
Apart from all that awesome place to fly recommend it for everyone
Told to wee on the tyre because to keep away the animals.
Told to allways carry your blood type.
Spend you flight dodging massive thunderstorms .
When making a emergency landing in field the only thing to worry about is hoping you won't get robbed when you service.
Oh and everything you learnt in Jaa ATPLs is the complete opposite in the South African exams .
Apart from all that awesome place to fly recommend it for everyone
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Landed DNMM a few days ago, purser calls to say a nursing mother had fainted on short finals and was now laying in the aisle. We called the tower to request an ambulance.
20 mins after, she feels a lot better, gets up and walks off the aeroplane "under her own power"
We proceed to call for boarding then halfway through the boarding process, ambulance rocks up. 45 minutes after the initial call.
Makes me wonder what if it was a real emergency.
20 mins after, she feels a lot better, gets up and walks off the aeroplane "under her own power"
We proceed to call for boarding then halfway through the boarding process, ambulance rocks up. 45 minutes after the initial call.
Makes me wonder what if it was a real emergency.
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Landed DNMM a few days ago, purser calls to say a nursing mother had fainted on short finals and was now laying in the aisle. We called the tower to request an ambulance.
20 mins after, she feels a lot better, gets up and walks off the aeroplane "under her own power"
We proceed to call for boarding then halfway through the boarding process, ambulance rocks up. 45 minutes after the initial call.
Makes me wonder what if it was a real emergency.
20 mins after, she feels a lot better, gets up and walks off the aeroplane "under her own power"
We proceed to call for boarding then halfway through the boarding process, ambulance rocks up. 45 minutes after the initial call.
Makes me wonder what if it was a real emergency.
That could be any city in almost any country I've ever been in, USA, UK, Canada, any central American country.
Heck, 45 minutes is actually pretty fast, maybe that's why you're so surprised, because in the US or UK it would be more like 2 hours...
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DarkRoom
Really,
I'm based out of Lagos and don't do much flying outside Africa. I'd actually be very surprised if I flew into LHR and I didn't have an ambulance in 10 minutes
I'm based out of Lagos and don't do much flying outside Africa. I'd actually be very surprised if I flew into LHR and I didn't have an ambulance in 10 minutes
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can't be sure about a plane asking for an ambulance, but a couple months ago, my Uncle called for help using his 'emergency' button around his neck, it took 3 hours - in Luton.
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How is that Africa?
That could be any city in almost any country I've ever been in, USA, UK, Canada, any central American country.
Heck, 45 minutes is actually pretty fast, maybe that's why you're so surprised, because in the US or UK it would be more like 2 hours...
That could be any city in almost any country I've ever been in, USA, UK, Canada, any central American country.
Heck, 45 minutes is actually pretty fast, maybe that's why you're so surprised, because in the US or UK it would be more like 2 hours...
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It does happen in developed countries as well 
AUA passenger dies after ambulance goes to wrong plane - General News - Austrian Times Online News - English Newspaper
You know you are in africa when... national carriers new plane breaks a flap while being parked at the gate - because someone who had no business being in the cockpit "tries what a button does" while someone else couldn't be bothered to follow the "no driving trucks under wings" rule.
AUA passenger dies after ambulance goes to wrong plane - General News - Austrian Times Online News - English Newspaper
You know you are in africa when... national carriers new plane breaks a flap while being parked at the gate - because someone who had no business being in the cockpit "tries what a button does" while someone else couldn't be bothered to follow the "no driving trucks under wings" rule.
Last edited by keitaidenwa; 14th Feb 2013 at 07:23.
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...when you're being advised by ATC that the runway is wet and you feel compelled to go around to find a suitable alternate - because the wet braking action on helicopter skids is so terribly unpredictable! 
...when ATC advises you that "Der is a bad activity on de endi of runniway 05"
It only dawns on you that "bad activity" on the runway must've meant something other than traffic congestion of 1 airplane or more after flaring into this huge flock of exotic poultry...
... when you ask the controller something out of the ordinary like "How old is your grandmother?" and are subsequently cleared to join the left downwind
... when your contracted mechanic on his way to fetch a coffee is stopped at security and subsequently interrogated for 30 minutes for wearing a visitors badge while a few days later your passengers suddenly turn up at the airside without even having a ticket yet.
...when ATC advises you that "Der is a bad activity on de endi of runniway 05"
It only dawns on you that "bad activity" on the runway must've meant something other than traffic congestion of 1 airplane or more after flaring into this huge flock of exotic poultry...
... when you ask the controller something out of the ordinary like "How old is your grandmother?" and are subsequently cleared to join the left downwind
... when your contracted mechanic on his way to fetch a coffee is stopped at security and subsequently interrogated for 30 minutes for wearing a visitors badge while a few days later your passengers suddenly turn up at the airside without even having a ticket yet.