What do you do during long haul flights?
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Long-haul flights in other aircraft.
ATR 72. Cargo.
2:15 legs - done some ferries with the pax version ATR42 6:45 and plus. Activities:
CARGO: Once in cruise get the box out from behind F/O seat. Put on pedestal after making sure a towel box is in place so the box does not touch the switches. ATC volume to max - headsets off. Light up the chart light on the yoke and fix a large paper towel on the chart holder. Fix the other end with your tie clip to your shirt.
Then start unpacking the box. Top layer fresh bread from bakery next to the hotel. Next layer the fresh very thin cut italian Mortadella and "real" salami - mmmmhhh.
Bottom layer the drinks - Mineral water and orange juice of course!
Spend the next hour or so eating and chatting. Maybe answer "one" ATC call. Then pack the drinks back into the box. Use one sick bag as trash bag. Clean up. Refreshing towels, and back to work. Briefing etc. before TOD.
PAX version:
Is day flights most of the time. Take pictures. Cockpit, Captain napping, F/A standing in the door with puzzled look. FL 250 at 180 kt IAS and 330 kt GS (which is about 60 kt tailwind in an ATR and as high as you can get
) Recheck the limitation of FL 250 in the AFM. Trigger the anti-skid test with the single gong and some blinking to wake the boss. Makes always for some confused looks 
Fuel checks, Nav checks, Com checks. Try to rise some guys in the big jets flying above to use as relays in remote areas. Daydream of having a table in front of you instead of the yoke which would make for more comfortable reading. Have a look at weather radar. Watch the sunset/rise, stargazing.
ATR 72. Cargo.
2:15 legs - done some ferries with the pax version ATR42 6:45 and plus. Activities:
CARGO: Once in cruise get the box out from behind F/O seat. Put on pedestal after making sure a towel box is in place so the box does not touch the switches. ATC volume to max - headsets off. Light up the chart light on the yoke and fix a large paper towel on the chart holder. Fix the other end with your tie clip to your shirt.
Then start unpacking the box. Top layer fresh bread from bakery next to the hotel. Next layer the fresh very thin cut italian Mortadella and "real" salami - mmmmhhh.
Bottom layer the drinks - Mineral water and orange juice of course!
Spend the next hour or so eating and chatting. Maybe answer "one" ATC call. Then pack the drinks back into the box. Use one sick bag as trash bag. Clean up. Refreshing towels, and back to work. Briefing etc. before TOD.
PAX version:
Is day flights most of the time. Take pictures. Cockpit, Captain napping, F/A standing in the door with puzzled look. FL 250 at 180 kt IAS and 330 kt GS (which is about 60 kt tailwind in an ATR and as high as you can get
) Recheck the limitation of FL 250 in the AFM. Trigger the anti-skid test with the single gong and some blinking to wake the boss. Makes always for some confused looks Fuel checks, Nav checks, Com checks. Try to rise some guys in the big jets flying above to use as relays in remote areas. Daydream of having a table in front of you instead of the yoke which would make for more comfortable reading. Have a look at weather radar. Watch the sunset/rise, stargazing.
Join Date: Dec 2006
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Killing away the time on those "boring" phases
ITS ONE THING TO KEEP THE ATMOSPHERE IN THE COCKPIT AMENABLE...its quite another to fart away the time and indulge in the kind of non sense that has been depicted in these postings..there must be an element of truth in it i suspect, i dont think they are entirely joking!I know of a situ where the capt went to sit his poterior in First Class indulging inrevenue service amenities while the cockpit door was locked on a quiet night between Jo-burg and D-ars-alaam; George was dutifully engaged and behaving pristinely....and dutiflly abiding to the definition of Cock-pit...the F.O. was having "his own" pampered along and getting a fully fledged pneumatic9or shall i say hydro-pneumatically) thrusts by one of the hornier cabin screws...it unbelievably happenned!
I resent you guys who piss about such valuable quiet and blessed time(for it is problem free aint it??) where you can discuss CRM case histories or go through sim session debriefings or consult the ops manuals..or etc and always monitoring the flight path ahead and below you always keeping a running picture of what you would exactly do should the stinking stuff hit the fan blades.I am disappointed because some of us love flying but inspite of all the investments in time,effort, and money we have sacrificed to develop this career we still are at the behest of getting a break and are in the meanwhile dreaming flying through no faults of our own and having to resort to MSFS and the occasional stint on a real sim to keep our passion and professional focus going.
NEXT TIME YOU FEEL BORED...JUST THINK OF THAT POOR CHAP AWAITING EAGERLY IF NOT DESPERATELY TO GET HIS/HER NEXT OPPORTUNITY TO SIT IN A COCKPIT AND MANIPULATE THE CONTROLS AMONGST A PROFESSIONAL CADRE TO GET AIRBORNE EVEN AT SOME NON GLAMOROUS AIRFIELD..JUST PAUSE FOR A MOMENT AND THANK HEAVENS THAT YOU ARE THERE PRIVILEDGED TO CONTINUE DOING THAT..I USED TO TAKE SUCH QUIET CRUISE MOMENTS AND HUMBLY OFFER THANKS FOR BEING UP THERE..EVEN IF ON AUTOPILOTAND EVEN IF THE OTHER PILOT WAS A STINKING AHRS-HALL!
Pilots get paid far better than the average professional in any country you might consider to compare...I am sure it is not for the skil of farting around,browse magz,your note books or to get jerked off...that blow job could turn into an unprepared blow out should justice get its way!
Lets keep it professional...all professions are goverened by ethics and ours...if we dare call it one, shouldn't be allowed to degenerate.Society look up on us as though we carry magic about us.Lets keep it that way I suggest.
I resent you guys who piss about such valuable quiet and blessed time(for it is problem free aint it??) where you can discuss CRM case histories or go through sim session debriefings or consult the ops manuals..or etc and always monitoring the flight path ahead and below you always keeping a running picture of what you would exactly do should the stinking stuff hit the fan blades.I am disappointed because some of us love flying but inspite of all the investments in time,effort, and money we have sacrificed to develop this career we still are at the behest of getting a break and are in the meanwhile dreaming flying through no faults of our own and having to resort to MSFS and the occasional stint on a real sim to keep our passion and professional focus going.
NEXT TIME YOU FEEL BORED...JUST THINK OF THAT POOR CHAP AWAITING EAGERLY IF NOT DESPERATELY TO GET HIS/HER NEXT OPPORTUNITY TO SIT IN A COCKPIT AND MANIPULATE THE CONTROLS AMONGST A PROFESSIONAL CADRE TO GET AIRBORNE EVEN AT SOME NON GLAMOROUS AIRFIELD..JUST PAUSE FOR A MOMENT AND THANK HEAVENS THAT YOU ARE THERE PRIVILEDGED TO CONTINUE DOING THAT..I USED TO TAKE SUCH QUIET CRUISE MOMENTS AND HUMBLY OFFER THANKS FOR BEING UP THERE..EVEN IF ON AUTOPILOTAND EVEN IF THE OTHER PILOT WAS A STINKING AHRS-HALL!
Pilots get paid far better than the average professional in any country you might consider to compare...I am sure it is not for the skil of farting around,browse magz,your note books or to get jerked off...that blow job could turn into an unprepared blow out should justice get its way!
Lets keep it professional...all professions are goverened by ethics and ours...if we dare call it one, shouldn't be allowed to degenerate.Society look up on us as though we carry magic about us.Lets keep it that way I suggest.
the lunatic fringe
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I like to play the "screwdriver" game.
What you do is each person takes turns in removing a screw from the overhead panel. Any screw will do. You lose when the first engine stops.
My record is 72 screws before an engine stopped.
What you do is each person takes turns in removing a screw from the overhead panel. Any screw will do. You lose when the first engine stops.
My record is 72 screws before an engine stopped.
The 'PILOT RESPONSE' challenge is good.
I also like to see how many spins of the nosewheel tiller I can get in one go. Pisses the other bloke off a bit though!
All good fun!
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Long Haul Fun and Games
Great post gang. I'm not sure if there are any 737-200s flying today but here is a fun thing for the guys on 737s to try. When I flew the 200s, there was a nice eyeball vent near each side window. This is a very useful device. Before the days of 9-11, we used to do magic tricks with this vent. To wit: Extract a spare lightbulb that is of some size...the one used for the overhead map light works nicely...now..open the 'eyeball vent' full bore...you might have to turn on the gasper fan, if you've had it turned off...I used to turn the thing off and on to annoy the biscuit pushers...anyways...take the light bulb and hold it about 3 inches from the center of the eyball vent IN the stream of air...now...slowly let go of the bulb. The rest is magic!!!! I won't tell you what happens..but my record is 5 hours until I hit some turbulance...darn...and it impressed the heck out of some of the 'dollies' that used to come up and ask dumb questions.I have not had the same luck with the 777 though...not enough airflow going through that vent...I suggest someone come up with a mod for that.
The camera function on the -300 serves as a great interface for my iPod with video..I've found that I can stream podcasts quite nicely, now that I've been among the first to receive the new iTV from Apple. The resolution is excellent. Boeing had it right when they upgraded the LCDs a few years ago. The black contrast makes watching trailers and some of those old favourite 'Debbie does XXXX' movies' a real treat while ploughing through the rock and roll on the NOPAC route. Its a real blessing that we don't have to interrupt movies and extracurricular activites to send position reports. ADS is great, isn't it?
Plumbum Pendular
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We have had our Sony Playstation plugs adapted for the Nintendo Wii.
Unofortunatley the AAIB are now involved, we have had some Wii controllers put through ECAM displays, Captains inadvertantly smacked round the head with a controller and lots of FOs off sick due to RSI of the shoulder and elbow.
Unofortunatley the AAIB are now involved, we have had some Wii controllers put through ECAM displays, Captains inadvertantly smacked round the head with a controller and lots of FOs off sick due to RSI of the shoulder and elbow.
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My own personal favouritites on the bus are:
Cockpit Jenga, similar to one previously mentioned, using the overhead panel, take it in turns switching something off until the other guy bottles it and feels the need to switch it all back on!
Battleships: Really good one for mid pond, using the MCDU and the waypoint function. Pilot 1 enters a waypoint (place bearing dist) from a random wpt apearing on screen. this he calls TARGET. pilot 2 using a different wpt, then has to take a series of shots at the target again using the PBD wpt function. This is usually good for half an hour or until you fill the database up with meaningless wpts.
Also knew a guy who dedicated his life into seeing how quickly he could get the girls to reveal information on how they were waxed (you know the thing R/W strip, hollywood etc) you'd be surprised
Cockpit Jenga, similar to one previously mentioned, using the overhead panel, take it in turns switching something off until the other guy bottles it and feels the need to switch it all back on!
Battleships: Really good one for mid pond, using the MCDU and the waypoint function. Pilot 1 enters a waypoint (place bearing dist) from a random wpt apearing on screen. this he calls TARGET. pilot 2 using a different wpt, then has to take a series of shots at the target again using the PBD wpt function. This is usually good for half an hour or until you fill the database up with meaningless wpts.
Also knew a guy who dedicated his life into seeing how quickly he could get the girls to reveal information on how they were waxed (you know the thing R/W strip, hollywood etc) you'd be surprised
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Long haul fun and games
[QUOTE=777AV8R;3068661]
Yep, worked fine on all the -200. We wiw some contest on the flight deck with that trick: reduce the vent opening slowly and carefully to lower and then lift the bulb; another one, tricky though, was to turn the gasper fan on and off quickly enough to "dip" the bulb without letting it fall down.
Yep, worked fine on all the -200. We wiw some contest on the flight deck with that trick: reduce the vent opening slowly and carefully to lower and then lift the bulb; another one, tricky though, was to turn the gasper fan on and off quickly enough to "dip" the bulb without letting it fall down.
Join Date: Nov 2005
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Depends what airline your in. When I flew long haul I have to say most the crews were fairly laid back.
A Sony PSB and Ipod were certainly must have items for entertainment.
If you got bored with that there was an endless supply of porno mags in the back.
I don't know what would have happend to us and the aircfaft if the plane was searched by the "religous police" during our many transits through Dubai!!!!!!!!!!
A Sony PSB and Ipod were certainly must have items for entertainment.
If you got bored with that there was an endless supply of porno mags in the back.
I don't know what would have happend to us and the aircfaft if the plane was searched by the "religous police" during our many transits through Dubai!!!!!!!!!!
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Didn't think of that...
[QUOTE=Lemper;3070264]
Yep, worked fine on all the -200. We wiw some contest on the flight deck with that trick: reduce the vent opening slowly and carefully to lower and then lift the bulb; another one, tricky though, was to turn the gasper fan on and off quickly enough to "dip" the bulb without letting it fall down.
Hey Lemper..cycling the gasper off and on is a grrrreat idea! BTW..I tried this magical feat on my 777 today
the outlet doesn't provide enough airflow. Setting this task up was kind of fun though. My F/O, who doesn't understand these finer points of flight, couldn't figure out what I was doing and actually asked me if I was trying to install a lightbulb in there. Actually, come to think of it, it would be a great place for a second map light...
Yep, worked fine on all the -200. We wiw some contest on the flight deck with that trick: reduce the vent opening slowly and carefully to lower and then lift the bulb; another one, tricky though, was to turn the gasper fan on and off quickly enough to "dip" the bulb without letting it fall down.
the outlet doesn't provide enough airflow. Setting this task up was kind of fun though. My F/O, who doesn't understand these finer points of flight, couldn't figure out what I was doing and actually asked me if I was trying to install a lightbulb in there. Actually, come to think of it, it would be a great place for a second map light...
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If you fly Turboprops try this at night........
With the cockpit lights off, stick your forehead hard against the coaming and stare at the efis..................
It'll amuse you both for hours.
Doesn't work on jets.
With the cockpit lights off, stick your forehead hard against the coaming and stare at the efis..................
It'll amuse you both for hours.
Doesn't work on jets.
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Have visited a cockpit where one Captain was using the ACARS to play strip poker with another Capt in another aircraft. Game must have been going on for a while as he was only wearing his socks.
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Just coming back from the end of the Middle Empire, and got myself re-pressed (after the depression caused by 'Rumours & News' posts), in getting up to date on this thread. Jaw pain and tears of laughter.
One very entertaining one we had on my last trip was the "Who sleeps with whom in the company" gossip, followed by "How would it be if Thisone slept with Thatone" Hilarious! It got nearly out of end when the third wheel of the barrow forsaked a good part of his rest time to participate, and I nearly missed my rest time!
Luckily, there was no member of the FFF(*) on board!
(*) Female Flying Fomunity
One very entertaining one we had on my last trip was the "Who sleeps with whom in the company" gossip, followed by "How would it be if Thisone slept with Thatone" Hilarious! It got nearly out of end when the third wheel of the barrow forsaked a good part of his rest time to participate, and I nearly missed my rest time!
Luckily, there was no member of the FFF(*) on board!
(*) Female Flying Fomunity
It works best with HT-1000 GNSS MCDU screen and 77% Np on four-bladed ATR
