Funny R/T Sayings?

[Slowsafecruise]

I know this should be under ATC Issues, but has anyone ever come accross funny sayings on the R/T?

I once heard a guy ask to the tower to say again as he had no Lead in his Pencil.. Poor ATC was chuckeling away in his reply..

[mad_jock]

Our SATCO's fav is "mess your passage". PPL's students never manage to hear what he realy said compared to what hey want to hear.

MJ

[Gertrude the Wombat]

There was the hot air balloon that offered to sqawk. The controller fell about laughing and informed the pilot that (a) he didn't have secondary radar but (b) the balloon was big enough for him to see out the window anyway.

[mad_jock]

I was flying with an ATCO which when listening to a local mil unit request a sqawk off a balloon and getting a negative sqawk equip suggested on the RT the controller gave him a turn for identification.

MJ

[FlyingForFun]

Was at Cranfield a few weeks ago, when the wind was about 15kts at exactly 90 degrees to the main runway. Think the controller must have fancied a challenge - he was not only offering pilots a choice of using either direction on the main runway, but also offered the smaller runway if you didn't fancy the crosswind. It caused a few comments which made me laugh at the time - I've forgotten most of them now, but I do remember him telling one aircraft that the active runway was "36 at the moment, but that might change a couple of times before you reach the airfield, depending how I'm feeling."

Then there was the time I was flying my Europa, and Farnborough told me I was following "another Europa helicoptor". I informed him that I was fixed-wing, and he asked me to confirm my type. I replied that the type was a Europa, which is a fixed-wing aeroplane. "Oh, right.... didn't know that!" Not sure how many Europas this guy had provided a service to in the past and treated as helicoptors without realising......

FFF
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[MikeeB]

After completing my power checks at East Mids, I was just about to press the tx button when the Thompson's jet which had taxied down to the bottom of 24 came on and said he was ready/at hold point whatever; controller told him to line up.

I went on the radio, said I was now ready, and the controller came back with, "the jet asked first, so I'm going to let him go first"

I found it funny anyway.....

It was nice to sit at the hold and watch a jet go thundering past anyway

[122.45]

I remember a call of "Wodger, Golf Wishky W@nky" from a pilot with a Jonathan Ross-type lishp

[ACW 335]

'Mess you passage' always makes me giggle!

Was listening on 125.25 (Farnborough) and there was a guy who was talking so the controller and just trying to say everything in one breath (half of his call was totally unneccessary anyway!). He finally finished his spiel and the controller said really sarcastically:

'and breathe....'

He obviously didn't get it because he did it again!

Once heard someone ask the controller out for dinner (over the 'air')

[GroundGirl]

After warning the approaching helicopter that there was personell on the helipad that it was approaching, the reply came back 'roger the man in the pink shirt'

[Airbus Girl]

The ATIS at Malaga always ends with "controllers on the job" and the one at Faro ends with "end of Faro".

ATCOs are normally good fun.

Once at STN, on a Saturday evening, when the place is usually completely full of Ryanairs (who finish earlier than us), there was not a single Ryanair to be seen. We asked ATC where they all were tonight and instantly the reply came "they're all at a party".

Heard one quiet night, after an aircraft had taken a wrong turn taxiing in

ATC: "take intersection X to rejoin taxiway A"
Aircraft: "we were hoping you hadn't noticed"
ATC: "you'd be wrong"
Slight pause whilst aircraft established on correct, long taxiway
Aircraft "are there any speed cameras on this section?"

[MinutemanII]

I was in the pattern at St. Louis Downtown Parks airport several years ago flying on a very nice afternoon.

Both patterns were full for 30L and 30R as the airport hosted two major college flight training programs at the time. There must have been a dozen aircraft in the air between the two runways with more arrivals coming in from the south practice area as well as aircraft departing for it.

The tower gal came on the radio and announced that the winds had just shifted and she was changing the runways to 12L and 12R.

She was brilliant. I still don't know how she got all of us turned around in that aerial ballet, but she did a very professional job with the help of many of us in the air. There was some confusion on the part of some of the newer pilots, but it worked out very well.

[bibendum]

Not sure how to link to it but there is an excellent thread in the ATC area on this topic. Been going for years (30 odd pages at the last count) ... well worth a look!

[paulo]

ATC Humour