Stupidist radio call
Join Date: Apr 2007
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Stupidest radio call
Currently
Traffic south/north/east/west of anywhere.
We are
A Domestic VFR flight. Estimated time 25,
2.3 nautical miles.
Fifteen hundred feet
Forty miles
Sigh!
Traffic south/north/east/west of anywhere.
We are
A Domestic VFR flight. Estimated time 25,
2.3 nautical miles.
Fifteen hundred feet
Forty miles
Sigh!
Holy cow! Any guesses as to what that means?
tio540, I must say that I am guilty of the "forty miles" one, my logic being that "who gives a toss about how I derived the distance, it's what it is that counts!". "40 miles GNSS" is still "40 miles".
Assuming, of course, the system that was used to work out the "miles" is kosher!!
Assuming, of course, the system that was used to work out the "miles" is kosher!!
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tio540, I must say that I am guilty of the "forty miles" one, my logic being that "who gives a toss about how I derived the distance, it's what it is that counts!". "40 miles GNSS" is still "40 miles".
Assuming, of course, the system that was used to work out the "miles" is kosher!!
Assuming, of course, the system that was used to work out the "miles" is kosher!!
Love hearing “turns finals”...
Start responding with “turns bases”, “joins crosswinds”...
Tend to be of the opinion that if you sound professional (ie. as per the AIP as opposed to “cool”);
1) Anal FE’s have one less thing to pick on
2) Instructions and clearances don’t get screwed up (remember English is hard enough as a second language so it’s in everyone’s interest to be on the same page), and
3) If you don’t sound like you’re from Dickywakka and haven’t seen a CTA or CTR for five years you might find a short notice clearance request through a military area is granted a bit more often.
Particularly enjoy IFR taxi/clearance calls...
“Taxiing Archerfield for Archerfield”...
While AIP does specify
TAXIING (location) FOR (destination or intentions), maybe (destination or intentions) could include your first waypoint to give other traffic some semblance of a hint as to what direction you’re departing?
Eg. “Taxiing Archerfield for Archerfield via Wacko.”
ps. Yes, I know IFR waypoints will mean little to most PPLs or people without local knowledge, therefore quadrants could help.
Start responding with “turns bases”, “joins crosswinds”...
Tend to be of the opinion that if you sound professional (ie. as per the AIP as opposed to “cool”);
1) Anal FE’s have one less thing to pick on
2) Instructions and clearances don’t get screwed up (remember English is hard enough as a second language so it’s in everyone’s interest to be on the same page), and
3) If you don’t sound like you’re from Dickywakka and haven’t seen a CTA or CTR for five years you might find a short notice clearance request through a military area is granted a bit more often.
Particularly enjoy IFR taxi/clearance calls...
“Taxiing Archerfield for Archerfield”...
While AIP does specify
TAXIING (location) FOR (destination or intentions), maybe (destination or intentions) could include your first waypoint to give other traffic some semblance of a hint as to what direction you’re departing?
Eg. “Taxiing Archerfield for Archerfield via Wacko.”
ps. Yes, I know IFR waypoints will mean little to most PPLs or people without local knowledge, therefore quadrants could help.
I reckon that Lead Balloon may have been within 75 Sqn, eh Bloggs?
(But A3-94 would have been a 3 Sqn aircraft.)
As a troop from those 1980's days, it would have been a pleasure to give you the 6000 rpm signal, if you were having a "wet start".
(But A3-94 would have been a 3 Sqn aircraft.)
As a troop from those 1980's days, it would have been a pleasure to give you the 6000 rpm signal, if you were having a "wet start".
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Mal was with 75 and Brent was with 3. Looking back at the records it seems my memory of the time between them was incorrect: 8 Jun and 5 Dec 76.
Randal Wayne Mac and I featured on the front page of the Star (or was it the Echo) on 9 June looking down at the wreckage. Shortly after arriving at work that morning we were invited to Brian Farrow's SATCO office to explain ourselves. His blood pressure rapidly increased when we told him we also went from the site to 6HOSP to chat with Mal! [Apparently the tower team and pilot engaged in an accident are not supposed to swap stories!]
MJG
Now, back to looking at how AKL can fly the Dash 8 to Cassidy.
Randal Wayne Mac and I featured on the front page of the Star (or was it the Echo) on 9 June looking down at the wreckage. Shortly after arriving at work that morning we were invited to Brian Farrow's SATCO office to explain ourselves. His blood pressure rapidly increased when we told him we also went from the site to 6HOSP to chat with Mal! [Apparently the tower team and pilot engaged in an accident are not supposed to swap stories!]
MJG
Now, back to looking at how AKL can fly the Dash 8 to Cassidy.
8 Jun and 5 Dec 76.
The Crow banged out on the 5th (Bloggs corrected my original date) of December 1977, 20:55 local time. That’s straight from the horse’s (actually The Crow’s) mouth.
As this thread's all about being a tad pedantic..
mgahan, Butterworth had No. 4 RAAF Hospital. (No. 6 was at Laverton.)
Great memories from those RAAF Mirage times, though!
mgahan, Butterworth had No. 4 RAAF Hospital. (No. 6 was at Laverton.)
Great memories from those RAAF Mirage times, though!
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Not stupid, just a good laugh during the middle of the night;
EthiopianXXX on 121.5 in Mumbai FIR “Has anyone got a good frequency for Mumbai”... Aussie replies “There’s no such thing as a good HF frequency in Mumbai mate...” with a follow up from another Aussie; “Tell him he’s dreamin”
EthiopianXXX on 121.5 in Mumbai FIR “Has anyone got a good frequency for Mumbai”... Aussie replies “There’s no such thing as a good HF frequency in Mumbai mate...” with a follow up from another Aussie; “Tell him he’s dreamin”
Good try!
Some years ago I was flying a Malaysian B737 from Singapore to Kuala Lumpur and when handed over to KL Control was given a clearance " track direct to xxxx locator". I responded that is was withdrawn from service some months ago. Back came the reply " then can you track to where it used to be please" . Good try but without any RNAV it was in the too hard basket!!
1)
TOWER: 'Citation XXX follow the aircraft on Bravo.'
CITATION 'Thats not an aircraft, thats a Foxbat'.
2)
ITINERANT: XXX joining right downwind runway 18
Me backtracking and watching them join LEFT down runway 36 'Confirm left downwind for 36'?
ITINERANT: Confirm RIGHT downwind 36...
......
TOWER: 'Citation XXX follow the aircraft on Bravo.'
CITATION 'Thats not an aircraft, thats a Foxbat'.
2)
ITINERANT: XXX joining right downwind runway 18
Me backtracking and watching them join LEFT down runway 36 'Confirm left downwind for 36'?
ITINERANT: Confirm RIGHT downwind 36...
......
Folks,
I am assured this is true:
Scene: late one night, mid-west USA.
"United XXX, say your flight level"
Reply: "United XXX, y'r flight level"
"United XXX, say your altitude"
Reply: "United XXX, y'r altitood"
Finally, from Chicago Center:
"United XXX, say cancelling IFR, descending below 18,000".
That fixed the problem!!
One I actually heard myself, back in the day, when BOAC operated trans Pacific.
Late in the afternoon, runways 28 at KSFO, with QF No.3 behind the Speedbird.
From Bay Approach: "Speedbird XXX, slow traffic on final, one minute delay, orbit right"
Very pucker Nigel: "Roger, but at rate 1 that will take two minutes, Speedbird XXX".
With no more than milliseconds delay: " Okay, Speedbird XXX, you'r cleared a 180, come in backwards".
I had very great difficulty both flying my aeroplane and laughing, it was pandemonium in the QF cockpit ( as they were then called).
Tootle pip!!
I am assured this is true:
Scene: late one night, mid-west USA.
"United XXX, say your flight level"
Reply: "United XXX, y'r flight level"
"United XXX, say your altitude"
Reply: "United XXX, y'r altitood"
Finally, from Chicago Center:
"United XXX, say cancelling IFR, descending below 18,000".
That fixed the problem!!
One I actually heard myself, back in the day, when BOAC operated trans Pacific.
Late in the afternoon, runways 28 at KSFO, with QF No.3 behind the Speedbird.
From Bay Approach: "Speedbird XXX, slow traffic on final, one minute delay, orbit right"
Very pucker Nigel: "Roger, but at rate 1 that will take two minutes, Speedbird XXX".
With no more than milliseconds delay: " Okay, Speedbird XXX, you'r cleared a 180, come in backwards".
I had very great difficulty both flying my aeroplane and laughing, it was pandemonium in the QF cockpit ( as they were then called).
Tootle pip!!
Last edited by LeadSled; 7th Apr 2018 at 01:15. Reason: typo