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Stupidist radio call

Old 28th Mar 2018, 10:41
  #21 (permalink)  
 
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Class D Ground: “ABC taxi (.....) and congratulations on your first solo”

ABC : “ Err taxi (....) and congratulations on my first solo”
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Old 28th Mar 2018, 10:55
  #22 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by kaz3g View Post
What dedicated frequency would that be?

Kaz
At a guess I'm going to say numbers....
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Old 28th Mar 2018, 11:03
  #23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Ascend Charlie View Post
The "stupidist" thing is the title to this thread.
Hehe

Never said I could spell!!
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Old 28th Mar 2018, 11:12
  #24 (permalink)  
 
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ABC - go numbers
ABC: er what freq is numbers?

ABC - go company
ABC: what freq is company?
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Old 28th Mar 2018, 11:39
  #25 (permalink)  
 
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123.45 last I checked Kaz! Think they call it the interpilot freq.

Last edited by quinnyfly; 28th Mar 2018 at 11:56.
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Old 28th Mar 2018, 12:03
  #26 (permalink)  
 
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Numerous aircraft every day, to ATC: “XYZ, if available request (insert whatever it is that you’re not going to get unless it’s available)”
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Old 28th Mar 2018, 12:34
  #27 (permalink)  
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Stupidest? For those that didn’t read the Oztranauts thread:

Sppedbird 15 when asked their tailwind limit into SYD for an arrival on 34L during the curfew shoulder period: “15 knots but we can take a knot or two more than that”.
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Old 28th Mar 2018, 13:02
  #28 (permalink)  
 
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Moorabbin last weekend.

Unidentified aircraft approaching from somewhere. Runway in use was 35L.

Radio call was "17 left."

That was it... just simply... "17 left"

Tower responds with, "I think an aircraft just gave an inbound call for 17 left, please identify yourself."

Calls back with "35 right."

After multiple calls from the controller, he replies back with simply "Warrior ABC at Brighton, request 35 right."

This guy wasn't an international student. It was very strange and I haven't heard anything like it before. He just either couldn't be bothered, was having a massive brain fade or he was suffering from an unknown condition.


The week earlier heard a woman effectively arguing with the controller about him not giving her traffic after he clearly told her about traffic when she gave her inbound call. Reviewing the GoPro audio track later, she over transmitted when he was giving it to her and she was none the wiser until he queried her proximity to said traffic shortly after. It pays to be patient with pressing the transmit button sometimes when giving your read-back.
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Old 28th Mar 2018, 13:11
  #29 (permalink)  
 
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Classics heard in the airways (despite probably being offences of Strict Liability)

ATC: RRT, can you cross (reporting point) at (time).
PIC: aaaargh, I will give her a fair old kick in the guts but I reckon we should make that.

ATC: RRT, are you visual?
PIC: sort of. Actually, almost! Give us another hundred feet or so and you have a definite maybe.

On CTAF, in a rural area: WTF do you mean there is a wheel on the loading zone. Christ, I hope it’s not mine......(long pause). Houston, we have a problemm

New pilot taxi-ing at Big city airport: Ground, request assistance for taxi.
ground: (rattles off taxi instructions at warp speed).
New pilot: apologies, ground, request assistance...
Ground (in a Satnav voice): in 500 metres, turn right on taxi way Alpha....

Twin reports inbound to Parafield at the Dam wall at 3000 feet with a strong westerly blowing (for those not familiar, could almost be classed as a long final, high, position).
Tower: ABC, do you require an orbit for re-positioning?
PIC: no worries. I reckon I got this...

Tower: ABC, Follow the aircraft in your 5 o’clock...no make that follow traffic at your 6 o’clock

Three aircraft, same company, all headed for the same pub for lunch. Two aircraft decide to radio their passenger orders for lunch to the lead aircraft, along with diet restrictions (eg one hamburger with no egg, bacon, butter and on gluten free bread). And with pauses while pilots checked with passengers to confirm the order. For ten passengers, and 2 x pilots. On an already busy CTAF with numerous aircraft, all inbound from different directions all headed for the same pub for lunch.

Last edited by outnabout; 28th Mar 2018 at 22:41.
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Old 28th Mar 2018, 20:53
  #30 (permalink)  
 
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Makes me miss "On the airbands" - Always an entertaining read!
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Old 28th Mar 2018, 22:01
  #31 (permalink)  
 
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A few years ago during the wet in the Kimberley, a rather large group of touring Ultralight (recreational) thingies (10 - 15 aircraft in total) were approaching a large CTAF airport. They decided that each one of them had to give minute by minute updates on frequency of their position and intentions due to the cells around the airfield. The commentary consisted of the following conversation (I forget the names used but I'm sure you get the idea).

Ultralight Pilot one: "Hey Fred, I dont see you. Where are you"
Ultralight Pilot two (aka Fred): "Ah I'm 6.2 miles at 3500ft"
Ultralight Pilot one: "OK mate I'm 6.3 miles at 3600ft,"
Fred: " Are you using GPS or DME" (the airport only had a NDB)
Ultralight Pilot one: "Im using the numbers right up here on my little screen"
Fred: "suppose i should keep an eye out for you then"

Pilot flying a 210 for a local operator: "Aviation would be a lot richer if you didn't Fred"
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Old 28th Mar 2018, 22:35
  #32 (permalink)  
 
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"Bankstown Tower......ABC ready at the runaway bay"
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Old 28th Mar 2018, 23:00
  #33 (permalink)  
 
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Busy day at YMMB - ATC: "Cleared to land, no need to acknowledge."

Sunfish: "Cleared to land, no need to acknowledge."

Funny once. Two clicks usual acknowledgement now.
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Old 29th Mar 2018, 00:13
  #34 (permalink)  
 
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That’s a refreshingly flexible ATC practice.

I’ll wait for the pedants to point out the readback requirements in AIP.
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Old 29th Mar 2018, 00:16
  #35 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by Ontheslide View Post
A few years ago during the wet in the Kimberley, a rather large group of touring Ultralight (recreational) thingies (10 - 15 aircraft in total) were approaching a large CTAF airport. They decided that each one of them had to give minute by minute updates on frequency of their position and intentions due to the cells around the airfield. The commentary consisted of the following conversation (I forget the names used but I'm sure you get the idea).

Ultralight Pilot one: "Hey Fred, I dont see you. Where are you"
Ultralight Pilot two (aka Fred): "Ah I'm 6.2 miles at 3500ft"
Ultralight Pilot one: "OK mate I'm 6.3 miles at 3600ft,"
Fred: " Are you using GPS or DME" (the airport only had a NDB)
Ultralight Pilot one: "Im using the numbers right up here on my little screen"
Fred: "suppose i should keep an eye out for you then"

Pilot flying a 210 for a local operator: "Aviation would be a lot richer if you didn't Fred"
Slightly off-topic, but this is why a ‘low level’ MULTICOM of 126.7 and default CTAF of 126.7 would be ‘entertaining’.
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Old 29th Mar 2018, 00:43
  #36 (permalink)  
 
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ABC taxing for fuel bowser, XYZ copies and we are taxing for runnups.
Jabiru 1234 copies ABC taxing for fuel bowser and XYZ taking for runnups.
Jabiru 1234 is now taxing for fuel bowser.
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Old 29th Mar 2018, 01:21
  #37 (permalink)  
 
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While we are at it...

He enters, backtracks, lines up, turns, rolls, departs, climbs, descends, joins, finals, lands, vacates....

He forgets the ‘ing’

Back to my grumpy coffee.
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Old 29th Mar 2018, 01:28
  #38 (permalink)  
 
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Climbing to FLxxx pending clearance.
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Old 29th Mar 2018, 01:44
  #39 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by The Green Goblin View Post
While we are at it...

He enters, backtracks, lines up, turns, rolls, departs, climbs, descends, joins, finals, lands, vacates....

He forgets the ‘ing’

Back to my grumpy coffee.
I’m perpetually intrigued by this. I always wonder about the origins of that nonsense. I know that every pilot from a domestic airline whose name starts with R and ends with x does it. Why on Earth do they do it?
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Old 29th Mar 2018, 03:35
  #40 (permalink)  
 
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Back to my grumpy coffee.
not just you - that shits me to tears as well.

Another one is some special people preceed every single call with "aaaannnnnnnndddd"
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