You've Just Been Made CEO of Qantas
Grandpa Aerotart
All the stuff that Sunfish said PLUS.
Bring all the pilots in all the subsidiaries under one seniority system.
All Jetstar employees go straight on the bottom of mainline list. Eastern and Sunnies get melded on date of joining only and that list goes under the combined mainline/j* list.
Pilots under a certain age can progress to jets based on seniority and performance...promotion based on bidding for available slots....no DEC from turboprop to jet..if you're a dash captain and want to fly jets and you meet all criteria you can bid for a jet FO slot based on your seniority. For instance some might bid for A320 slots that come up and someone else a few mths later might bid for 744 slots..just the luck of the draw about what comes up when....of course type freezes for say 2-3 years unless company needs override.
All, and I mean ALL cadets and GA recuits go into the right seat of a Dash 8 and get a seniority number based PURELY on the date you CHECK TO LINE on the Dash. ..and progress in the normal way from there on.
This I believe is what AIPA,AFAP,JPC etc should be uniting for....you want to protect your turf then unite and do it....there is NO other way that the pilots in the various companies will ever have a vested interest in YOUR terms and conditions....and you'll never be strong enough on your own to achieve anything.
The pay off for management is career minded pilots who have a vested interest in the company's success.
Bring all the pilots in all the subsidiaries under one seniority system.
All Jetstar employees go straight on the bottom of mainline list. Eastern and Sunnies get melded on date of joining only and that list goes under the combined mainline/j* list.
Pilots under a certain age can progress to jets based on seniority and performance...promotion based on bidding for available slots....no DEC from turboprop to jet..if you're a dash captain and want to fly jets and you meet all criteria you can bid for a jet FO slot based on your seniority. For instance some might bid for A320 slots that come up and someone else a few mths later might bid for 744 slots..just the luck of the draw about what comes up when....of course type freezes for say 2-3 years unless company needs override.
All, and I mean ALL cadets and GA recuits go into the right seat of a Dash 8 and get a seniority number based PURELY on the date you CHECK TO LINE on the Dash. ..and progress in the normal way from there on.
This I believe is what AIPA,AFAP,JPC etc should be uniting for....you want to protect your turf then unite and do it....there is NO other way that the pilots in the various companies will ever have a vested interest in YOUR terms and conditions....and you'll never be strong enough on your own to achieve anything.
The pay off for management is career minded pilots who have a vested interest in the company's success.
Replace all pilots with Robots.
Program the robots to fly upside-down at least once on every flight.
Replace all flight attendants with vending machines on rails that roll down the aisle, replace all cabin managers with fembots that shoot you if you ask for coffee.
The safety demo will be 'american info-mercial' style predominantly focusing on selling passengers safety equipment and educating them about the many handy 'around the home' uses of seatbelts/life jackets/life rafts/megaphones/oxygen.
Bells installed, so that if a passenger wants to get off half way they can signal the robots who will land immediately in the nearest cane field, school oval, or beach.
Replace all engineers with ONE dog named Rover and a chia-pet.
Employ Magda to run the call centre, and insist she remains in the character of the lazy 'And I said pet I said love I said pet...' woman.
Swap all dash 8 engines with 747 engines.
Put the 74 on coffs harbour runs, and the dash on an all stops london.
Introduce hand rails in the cabin and sell 'standing space' tickets.
Remove lavatories, galleys, carpet, overhead lockers.
Sell off Mascot headquarters, buy a church with a creepy gothic tower instead.
Replace management with flying monkeys.
Convert current simulator centers into theme parks - manned by robots of course!
Replace airport security staff with Fire Breathing dragons - to pass through you need to be 'The Chosen One'. (Same as now i spose, but fire breathing dragons are so much more fun!)
Sell tickets to ride the aerobridge while its positioned - A Platinum ticket gives you the opportunity to drive the aerobridge, a Gold Ticket allows you to ride, and a Silver ticket allows you to watch. Anyone in the departures level without a ticket to watch will be ravaged by flying monkeys and interrogated by the chia-pet.
Hub the airline out of Norfolk Island, Launceston, and Broken Hill.
Paint the planes purple.
Have Kerri Anne Kennerly and Bert Newton mud wrestle naked on advertisments to the tune 'Yes sir, I can boogie'.
Remove wings of 767s and convert them to boats. Sell them to sydney ferries.
No check-in, no baggage service, load your own bag, and buy your ticket from the vending machine on board. Failure to pay, or have exact change activates the 'ejector' function in the seat.
Sell it to Air New Zealand.
RUN, FAST!
Program the robots to fly upside-down at least once on every flight.
Replace all flight attendants with vending machines on rails that roll down the aisle, replace all cabin managers with fembots that shoot you if you ask for coffee.
The safety demo will be 'american info-mercial' style predominantly focusing on selling passengers safety equipment and educating them about the many handy 'around the home' uses of seatbelts/life jackets/life rafts/megaphones/oxygen.
Bells installed, so that if a passenger wants to get off half way they can signal the robots who will land immediately in the nearest cane field, school oval, or beach.
Replace all engineers with ONE dog named Rover and a chia-pet.
Employ Magda to run the call centre, and insist she remains in the character of the lazy 'And I said pet I said love I said pet...' woman.
Swap all dash 8 engines with 747 engines.
Put the 74 on coffs harbour runs, and the dash on an all stops london.
Introduce hand rails in the cabin and sell 'standing space' tickets.
Remove lavatories, galleys, carpet, overhead lockers.
Sell off Mascot headquarters, buy a church with a creepy gothic tower instead.
Replace management with flying monkeys.
Convert current simulator centers into theme parks - manned by robots of course!
Replace airport security staff with Fire Breathing dragons - to pass through you need to be 'The Chosen One'. (Same as now i spose, but fire breathing dragons are so much more fun!)
Sell tickets to ride the aerobridge while its positioned - A Platinum ticket gives you the opportunity to drive the aerobridge, a Gold Ticket allows you to ride, and a Silver ticket allows you to watch. Anyone in the departures level without a ticket to watch will be ravaged by flying monkeys and interrogated by the chia-pet.
Hub the airline out of Norfolk Island, Launceston, and Broken Hill.
Paint the planes purple.
Have Kerri Anne Kennerly and Bert Newton mud wrestle naked on advertisments to the tune 'Yes sir, I can boogie'.
Remove wings of 767s and convert them to boats. Sell them to sydney ferries.
No check-in, no baggage service, load your own bag, and buy your ticket from the vending machine on board. Failure to pay, or have exact change activates the 'ejector' function in the seat.
Sell it to Air New Zealand.
RUN, FAST!
Last edited by ozangel; 8th Mar 2006 at 09:25.
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Get an external audit conducted...Find out how much transfer pricing makes J*"profitable" New transparency of accounts.
Probably go and walk around the shop floor and talk with my people, without John Travolta
Same audit can look into remuneration package and benefits enjoyed by my predessor...
Probably go and walk around the shop floor and talk with my people, without John Travolta
Same audit can look into remuneration package and benefits enjoyed by my predessor...
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Hell guy's I'm up in the fluffy stuff but me tinks you guy's are up here too, but have had some funny juice or similar brain altering substance.
But what some say would be great, imagine going to work as happy as hell. Sure beats what is going on at this time.
But what some say would be great, imagine going to work as happy as hell. Sure beats what is going on at this time.
I read some years ago in Air Transport World that at Southwest Airlines in the states, all senior management staff from Herb Khellar are expected to be able to check in pax, load aircraft, refuel aircraft, perform almost any Customer Service Role etc, and they frequently come out of their offices to help the frontline staff when the chips are down.
Any wonder why they are best performing airline in the world, since their startup some 30 years ago their only loss was in the 1st quarter of their first year, like in 1974. Currently they are (I think) just about the only airline in the US thats making a profit.
Any wonder why they are best performing airline in the world, since their startup some 30 years ago their only loss was in the 1st quarter of their first year, like in 1974. Currently they are (I think) just about the only airline in the US thats making a profit.
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Difference is that at Southwest and other successful airlines OS management see themselves as equal and as part of the same TEAM that their employees are part of...they share the same goals and work togther towards the airline's success...
Instead of bullying, manipulating and threatening, Southwest's Management LEAD their organisation forward, they show COMPASSION for their employees......In turn, this generates MUTUAL RESPECT
In stunning contrast - the ARROGANCE being displayed by Senior QF Management is absolutely disgraceful....
QF management have NO concept of the true importance of these values.
The culture within the airline is at an all time low. It will only be a matter of time before, customers and shareholders wake up to this very very sad state of affairs....
The QF Board of Directors are obviously asleep or don't care.....WAKE UP!!
Instead of bullying, manipulating and threatening, Southwest's Management LEAD their organisation forward, they show COMPASSION for their employees......In turn, this generates MUTUAL RESPECT
In stunning contrast - the ARROGANCE being displayed by Senior QF Management is absolutely disgraceful....
QF management have NO concept of the true importance of these values.
The culture within the airline is at an all time low. It will only be a matter of time before, customers and shareholders wake up to this very very sad state of affairs....
The QF Board of Directors are obviously asleep or don't care.....WAKE UP!!
I've flown Southwest and spent an entetaining hour watching them turn around a couple of 737's. It was great to watch.
Girls was doing check in stuff on the computer. Guy was grabbing bags and loading onto trolley. Aircraft arrives, girl leaves check in, puts on ear defenders, grabs bats and marshalls aircraft, then connects ground power. Guys unload, then load, check in girl takes baggage from late check in passenger and loads it herself. Engineer wanders up, then wanders away again.
Girl who was marshalling the aircraft announces boarding and checks passes. Guy who was loading now driving tug. Another girl disconnects ground power then goes back to checking in.
Poetry in motion. I wonder if anyone in QF senior management could even find the fuelling point on a 747?
Girls was doing check in stuff on the computer. Guy was grabbing bags and loading onto trolley. Aircraft arrives, girl leaves check in, puts on ear defenders, grabs bats and marshalls aircraft, then connects ground power. Guys unload, then load, check in girl takes baggage from late check in passenger and loads it herself. Engineer wanders up, then wanders away again.
Girl who was marshalling the aircraft announces boarding and checks passes. Guy who was loading now driving tug. Another girl disconnects ground power then goes back to checking in.
Poetry in motion. I wonder if anyone in QF senior management could even find the fuelling point on a 747?
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The only thing GD and his greedy management mates care about is their next bonus....
If they all really cared about the airline they would TAKE NOTICE of what their staff are saying and attempt to correct the POOR MORALE within their respective areas of responsibility....
If you are reading this and you are not in the Aviation game - WATCH OUT....because every other CEO in corporate Australia is watching this with intense interest....
If GD gets away with what he is doing at QF.....expect the same in other industries too!....
If they all really cared about the airline they would TAKE NOTICE of what their staff are saying and attempt to correct the POOR MORALE within their respective areas of responsibility....
If you are reading this and you are not in the Aviation game - WATCH OUT....because every other CEO in corporate Australia is watching this with intense interest....
If GD gets away with what he is doing at QF.....expect the same in other industries too!....
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Whilst Nick Minchin may feel his personal opinion is misquoted, the government want further IR changes, it is an ideological platform. The HR Nicholls(spelling) society is ultra right wing who's who....This is the begining. IR changes will depend on what Dixon gets away with....
Perhaps it is time to remember that without pilots aircraft go nowhere
If J* were to parallel mainline in size then the company would push us much harder. At the moment it doesn't.......They are to be used to break apart mainline terms and conditions...Unfortunately they cant roll it all out so quickly as many of the pilots who think it doesnt affect them (and vote in EBA7 accordingly) would now get scared.......
Perhaps it is time to remember that without pilots aircraft go nowhere
If J* were to parallel mainline in size then the company would push us much harder. At the moment it doesn't.......They are to be used to break apart mainline terms and conditions...Unfortunately they cant roll it all out so quickly as many of the pilots who think it doesnt affect them (and vote in EBA7 accordingly) would now get scared.......
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Well I think that it is rather obvious that GD reads PPRUNE as he taken on one of my ideas, moving heavy maintenance to Avalon. It will be interesting to see when he starts taking on more of Sunfish's and my ideas.
Oh TC, kind of you, but...
Im already working for Bush, and getting sloshed every time he wants me to write a speech for him takes up most of my time...
Besides, i think the John is doing a great job - my efforts would just seem amateurish compared to his new workplace rules, etc.
I would like to see Many Vanstone conducting 'Super fun happy meetings' where the public are drawn into local halls and churches, and a new and improved robotised Mandy brainwashes them into voting liberal just once more...
Im already working for Bush, and getting sloshed every time he wants me to write a speech for him takes up most of my time...
Besides, i think the John is doing a great job - my efforts would just seem amateurish compared to his new workplace rules, etc.
I would like to see Many Vanstone conducting 'Super fun happy meetings' where the public are drawn into local halls and churches, and a new and improved robotised Mandy brainwashes them into voting liberal just once more...
