For a laugh... The top end.
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For a laugh... The top end.
G'day All,
Just started this thread for anybody that has a funny story about the locals up here..
(Kinda have to of spent some time in the top end to find humors)
**This story was told to me by one of the local nurses. Happened a couple of weeks ago.
There is this local in Halls Creek that had an epileptic fit and it placed him in a coma for some time (A day or 2 I cant remember).
After several attempts to wake him from the local doctors and nurses it was decided to call the RFDS and get him to a better hospital.
He was transferred onto a stretcher and placed in the back of the ambo then driven to the airport.
Just as the nurses were preparing to unload him he snapped out of it quicker then he could down a green can sat bolt upright and SHOUTED
"EH!, WHERES MA PUCKING KEA-CARD"
Just started this thread for anybody that has a funny story about the locals up here..
(Kinda have to of spent some time in the top end to find humors)
**This story was told to me by one of the local nurses. Happened a couple of weeks ago.
There is this local in Halls Creek that had an epileptic fit and it placed him in a coma for some time (A day or 2 I cant remember).
After several attempts to wake him from the local doctors and nurses it was decided to call the RFDS and get him to a better hospital.
He was transferred onto a stretcher and placed in the back of the ambo then driven to the airport.
Just as the nurses were preparing to unload him he snapped out of it quicker then he could down a green can sat bolt upright and SHOUTED
"EH!, WHERES MA PUCKING KEA-CARD"
Bugsmasherdriverandjediknite
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Heard a yarn about a bloke who was showing some people how to handle a snake. Now being from the territory, he was half cut, as they are usually, so the obviouse thing happened, he got bit.
well, after a while he decides to go and see someone about this snake bite, but being from the territory, got side tracked by going to the pub, as you do after being bit by a snake.
well poor old Joe Bloggs says to his drinking partners, "I aint feelin to chipper, must o got a touch o sun. Might go an av a lay down I recon".
so he jumps into his car and wanders off toward home...... eventually sucumbing to the venom, he prangs his car and the local plod finds him in a coma, so off to hospital where they decide he's been snake bit and they end up amputating his finger.
next few days he hovers around death but because god looks after innocents and drunks he pulls through.
when asked why he didn't go straight to the hospital, he replied, "Aw, it woz only a little bugga and it didn't urt that much so I went to the pub".
I think from memory it made the local paper.
Only in the Territory.
well, after a while he decides to go and see someone about this snake bite, but being from the territory, got side tracked by going to the pub, as you do after being bit by a snake.
well poor old Joe Bloggs says to his drinking partners, "I aint feelin to chipper, must o got a touch o sun. Might go an av a lay down I recon".
so he jumps into his car and wanders off toward home...... eventually sucumbing to the venom, he prangs his car and the local plod finds him in a coma, so off to hospital where they decide he's been snake bit and they end up amputating his finger.
next few days he hovers around death but because god looks after innocents and drunks he pulls through.
when asked why he didn't go straight to the hospital, he replied, "Aw, it woz only a little bugga and it didn't urt that much so I went to the pub".
I think from memory it made the local paper.
Only in the Territory.
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WE have this local guy thats always passed out on the road to the airport every morning, really makes u pay attention as you never know where he is gonna appear! Kinda like a Northern Territory version of Where's Wally?
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Overheard many moons ago on the Hall's Creek FIA freq.
Port Hedland FS "XXX, from your company, can you divert to Balgo Hills Mission to pick up a patient with an infected circumcisin scar?"
Pause, then unknown voice, "What, the sharp stone had a bit of dog sh1t on it, eh?"
Port Hedland FS "XXX, from your company, can you divert to Balgo Hills Mission to pick up a patient with an infected circumcisin scar?"
Pause, then unknown voice, "What, the sharp stone had a bit of dog sh1t on it, eh?"
I don't want to be the best pilot in the world - Just the oldest
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When I joined the army back in 79 we had a bloke in my platoon from the Territory, Tennant Creek to be precise and I still wet myself reflecting on the yarn he told us one night out scrub.
Apparantly a freezer semi full of icecream was being hauled from Adelaide up to Darwin and the truckie decided to pull into the Creek for a bit of a break and a few drinks. After a few drinks which then turned into a couple of days, said truckie decides it's time to hit the road but when he returns to his rig, the freezer motor has stopped for god knows how long and there are traces of a milky subsance oozing from under the door seals. No prize for guessing what they found when they opened the doors.... a couple of tons of melted icecream. YUCK!
Apparantly a freezer semi full of icecream was being hauled from Adelaide up to Darwin and the truckie decided to pull into the Creek for a bit of a break and a few drinks. After a few drinks which then turned into a couple of days, said truckie decides it's time to hit the road but when he returns to his rig, the freezer motor has stopped for god knows how long and there are traces of a milky subsance oozing from under the door seals. No prize for guessing what they found when they opened the doors.... a couple of tons of melted icecream. YUCK!
I understand that up Oombulgurri (YFRV) way pilots have been know to get little close with locals. Apparently in the good sprit of it all the locals have named the offspring after them ...."Clear prop"
Rumours about that they also worship the ones would took some interest in them, with thier name plastered all over the camp still waiting for them to come back.
Edit : just removed some more details which seemed to make it a little too easy for people to guess who the pilot was
Rumours about that they also worship the ones would took some interest in them, with thier name plastered all over the camp still waiting for them to come back.
Edit : just removed some more details which seemed to make it a little too easy for people to guess who the pilot was
Last edited by swh; 12th Jan 2004 at 11:34.
What about the time when Billy Bunjuck from Mitchell Plateau was doing a heap of 'burning off' against the rules that C.A.L.M had in place at the time (back in the mid nineties).
Billy (being totally unaware that satellite technology exists) trys to square things up with the guy from C.A.L.M when he calls from HQ back in Perth.
Ranger: Hey Billy it's John from C.A.L.M down here in Perth, we just calling to see if you guys are OK with the fires that have been up your way for the last few days?
Billy: (denial) What fires? (thinking how the puck does this bloke know about the fires)
Ranger: Oh it's just the satellite tells us that there is a heap of smoke all around your 'country' and we just want to know whats going on.
Billy: (absolutely furious that some bloke called 'satellite' from some neighbouring community has dobbed him in)
'Who the puck is dis satellite bloke anyway, I'm gonna kill the pucken cun'.
Billy (being totally unaware that satellite technology exists) trys to square things up with the guy from C.A.L.M when he calls from HQ back in Perth.
Ranger: Hey Billy it's John from C.A.L.M down here in Perth, we just calling to see if you guys are OK with the fires that have been up your way for the last few days?
Billy: (denial) What fires? (thinking how the puck does this bloke know about the fires)
Ranger: Oh it's just the satellite tells us that there is a heap of smoke all around your 'country' and we just want to know whats going on.
Billy: (absolutely furious that some bloke called 'satellite' from some neighbouring community has dobbed him in)
'Who the puck is dis satellite bloke anyway, I'm gonna kill the pucken cun'.
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A few years back on halloween we were hounded all night from kids in costume after lollies.The knock on the door followed by trickle treat give us something nice to eat!!!
After 4 hours of this we were out of lollies and finally the street looked out of kids,We thought.
A knock on the door and when I opened it I was greeted by two little Alpha Bravos!Who had been watching all the other white kids knocking on peoples doors and being rewarded with trears.
There words were not quite in the contect of Halloween."SCUSE ME GOTTEM LOLLIES!!!!
For there efforts we gave them a single scotch finger.
After 4 hours of this we were out of lollies and finally the street looked out of kids,We thought.
A knock on the door and when I opened it I was greeted by two little Alpha Bravos!Who had been watching all the other white kids knocking on peoples doors and being rewarded with trears.
There words were not quite in the contect of Halloween."SCUSE ME GOTTEM LOLLIES!!!!
For there efforts we gave them a single scotch finger.
PPRuNe's Paramedic
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how to turn locals "white"
have an engine failure after take off!
oh yeah another from the central NT
tis common knowlege among our local itinerant indigenous that if you fake a good seizure the ambulance comes, they take you to hospital, you wake up and then you get a nice bed, a cuppa tea and a feed...
some rules apply though...
1. must not respond to a small tube being placed in ones gullet (thou shalt not gag)
2. must not respond to painful stimuli (thou shalt not sit bolt upright and swear at the ambulance officer and swear at them when a needle is being inserted into ones arm)
3. a seizure must be convincing but not overdone... ie dont listen to the ambulance officer when they say "but real seizures only happen on one side of the body"
4. dont "wake up" as you are being brought into hospital... you gatta stay like you been on the grog for more than two casks
5. if and only if you get this far, dont swear at the nurses.... you can say good by to bed, cuppa and sanga
given the rules... we did have a fella who feigned a set of seizures.... took an airway better than lucy lovelace, coped with 2 x 14 gauge cannulas (they are huge needles! and they hurt like hell!), put up with the flutter test (tickling eyelashes), and made it into the resus bay of the hospital.... my partner stood by to assist and "billy" opened his eyes when everyone one was out of the room except my partner and winked at her!
she slapped his arm, told him shut em for a bit longer, that performance deserved a sandwich!
have an engine failure after take off!
oh yeah another from the central NT
tis common knowlege among our local itinerant indigenous that if you fake a good seizure the ambulance comes, they take you to hospital, you wake up and then you get a nice bed, a cuppa tea and a feed...
some rules apply though...
1. must not respond to a small tube being placed in ones gullet (thou shalt not gag)
2. must not respond to painful stimuli (thou shalt not sit bolt upright and swear at the ambulance officer and swear at them when a needle is being inserted into ones arm)
3. a seizure must be convincing but not overdone... ie dont listen to the ambulance officer when they say "but real seizures only happen on one side of the body"
4. dont "wake up" as you are being brought into hospital... you gatta stay like you been on the grog for more than two casks
5. if and only if you get this far, dont swear at the nurses.... you can say good by to bed, cuppa and sanga
given the rules... we did have a fella who feigned a set of seizures.... took an airway better than lucy lovelace, coped with 2 x 14 gauge cannulas (they are huge needles! and they hurt like hell!), put up with the flutter test (tickling eyelashes), and made it into the resus bay of the hospital.... my partner stood by to assist and "billy" opened his eyes when everyone one was out of the room except my partner and winked at her!
she slapped his arm, told him shut em for a bit longer, that performance deserved a sandwich!
Last edited by Northern Chique; 7th Jan 2004 at 10:43.
Know of a situation where there was a girl faking a seizure. Doc and nurse could tell, then doc looks at patient, says, "Hmm, you are rather ill. Nurse, pass me the brain needle, make it a large one!" Needless to say, patient exited from siexure quick smart!
works for me!!
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The last few posts remind me of an experience in a Major Southern City hospital where I once worked......not really the Top End but what the hey!!!
It was a typical day..........A&E was on its ear and trying to treat more people than they had beds for (nothing changes in nearly 20 years if you believe what the papers are saying) and there was this one young chap.........in his early twenties with nothing apparently wrong with him, apart from the fact that he was trying very hard to fake unconsciousness.........well the A&E Registrar had had enough of this and was getting really P*SS*D at this guy and asked that his bed be moved to the back of the divider of the Doctors desk so that he could overhear the conversations between the Doctors.............
Dr #1 - what about the patient in the bed just there...a hopless case really....not much more that we can do for him.
Dr #2 - yep....I've done just about every test and he failed all of them....not getting better or worse.
Nrs #1 - is he a candidate for organ dontation?
Dr #1 - I had not thought about that....(rustling of papers for a couple of minutes).....looks OK here....lets get the organ donation coordinator on the phone.......
Dr #1 - (makes appropriate phone call)...Hello Organ Donation...yes...it is ******************* Hospital here and we have what appears to be a candidate for total body organ donation....yep....heart, lungs, eye, liver, kidneys.......22 year old male....no pre-existing disease....heamodynamically stable and has not been compromised in any way.....OK good you'll be right over.....I'll get him ready for theatre straight away..... (hangs up phone)
With that said young male sits bolt upright, gathers clothes from under bed and walks out of the unit without saying anything to anyone.....
The Drs and Nrs received a standing ovation from all other staff present......perked up the morale for the rest of the day.....
Tinkicker.............
It was a typical day..........A&E was on its ear and trying to treat more people than they had beds for (nothing changes in nearly 20 years if you believe what the papers are saying) and there was this one young chap.........in his early twenties with nothing apparently wrong with him, apart from the fact that he was trying very hard to fake unconsciousness.........well the A&E Registrar had had enough of this and was getting really P*SS*D at this guy and asked that his bed be moved to the back of the divider of the Doctors desk so that he could overhear the conversations between the Doctors.............
Dr #1 - what about the patient in the bed just there...a hopless case really....not much more that we can do for him.
Dr #2 - yep....I've done just about every test and he failed all of them....not getting better or worse.
Nrs #1 - is he a candidate for organ dontation?
Dr #1 - I had not thought about that....(rustling of papers for a couple of minutes).....looks OK here....lets get the organ donation coordinator on the phone.......
Dr #1 - (makes appropriate phone call)...Hello Organ Donation...yes...it is ******************* Hospital here and we have what appears to be a candidate for total body organ donation....yep....heart, lungs, eye, liver, kidneys.......22 year old male....no pre-existing disease....heamodynamically stable and has not been compromised in any way.....OK good you'll be right over.....I'll get him ready for theatre straight away..... (hangs up phone)
With that said young male sits bolt upright, gathers clothes from under bed and walks out of the unit without saying anything to anyone.....
The Drs and Nrs received a standing ovation from all other staff present......perked up the morale for the rest of the day.....
Tinkicker.............
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Tinkicker
that had me laughing for a while and oh boy are our local Doc's in for a laugh as well if its ok to "borrow" your story?
Credits will b given to the author of course!
We need a few beds emptied here!
that had me laughing for a while and oh boy are our local Doc's in for a laugh as well if its ok to "borrow" your story?
Credits will b given to the author of course!
We need a few beds emptied here!
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Northern Chique,
fill your boots..............anything to help empty beds and get the Health system working again............
there are lots more like that from two years on the front line..........
Tinkicker.........
fill your boots..............anything to help empty beds and get the Health system working again............
there are lots more like that from two years on the front line..........
Tinkicker.........
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Squire,
Thanks for pointing out Im a Redneck!!!
You must be on the east coast.
Atleast we gave them something as we had run out of lollies!
Nothing to do with color.save it for the next protest you go too.
Dick Head!!
Northern Chiq
after spending 5 hours in the very emergency ward youve mentioned how could anyone from interstate understand the waste of resources involved with drunks.
While there in the cubical next to me a ,Old Daisy had been flown in by the RFDS from Kintore.She had a belly ache!!!For someone to be evaced she ate her fair share of sandwicnes!!!
Whilst the doctor was getting some pain relief she hoped up and left.I spose It beats driving in from Kintore!!
Thanks for pointing out Im a Redneck!!!
You must be on the east coast.
Atleast we gave them something as we had run out of lollies!
Nothing to do with color.save it for the next protest you go too.
Dick Head!!
Northern Chiq
after spending 5 hours in the very emergency ward youve mentioned how could anyone from interstate understand the waste of resources involved with drunks.
While there in the cubical next to me a ,Old Daisy had been flown in by the RFDS from Kintore.She had a belly ache!!!For someone to be evaced she ate her fair share of sandwicnes!!!
Whilst the doctor was getting some pain relief she hoped up and left.I spose It beats driving in from Kintore!!
PPRuNe's Paramedic
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Hehhee soooo right!
The Health Aerial Evac System is perfectly suited to getting all the folks up for the Bathurst Island Footy finals too!
Ive never seen so many "offical" escorts than at this time of year....
As for the Bessy's, Bettys and Freds of the long grass, they go out 'cause they got tired of waitin! ... and call an ambulance cause they feel sick again!
There are huge resource allocation problems associated with hospital obsconders, as each obsconder has to be reported through the police as well as a concern for welfare....
Had another funny one though....
Chappy hit by car on McMillans Rd outside airport GA road in Darwin...
He was okay barring a few scratches and bruises, and was quite chatty.
Dumb blond me .... I asked why he ran across the road... this is the story he told....
He was drinking with his friends and they got drunk (so far same old same-o!). Then his male drinking buddy starts gettin irate and tells our friend to stop looking at his mrs... Drinking buddy picks up a large stick and starts trying to beat his hapless victim with it, so, in his eagerness to escape this apparent madman, he ran, and ran... he was getting short winded (short of breath) and forgot to look for cars as his flight across the road began. By lan three, he was cleaned up....
I asked "well okay, was she worth the beating and getting hit by the car then....?"
The reply was most emphatic...
"Nahhhh sister! she was Urrgly!"
The Health Aerial Evac System is perfectly suited to getting all the folks up for the Bathurst Island Footy finals too!
Ive never seen so many "offical" escorts than at this time of year....
As for the Bessy's, Bettys and Freds of the long grass, they go out 'cause they got tired of waitin! ... and call an ambulance cause they feel sick again!
There are huge resource allocation problems associated with hospital obsconders, as each obsconder has to be reported through the police as well as a concern for welfare....
Had another funny one though....
Chappy hit by car on McMillans Rd outside airport GA road in Darwin...
He was okay barring a few scratches and bruises, and was quite chatty.
Dumb blond me .... I asked why he ran across the road... this is the story he told....
He was drinking with his friends and they got drunk (so far same old same-o!). Then his male drinking buddy starts gettin irate and tells our friend to stop looking at his mrs... Drinking buddy picks up a large stick and starts trying to beat his hapless victim with it, so, in his eagerness to escape this apparent madman, he ran, and ran... he was getting short winded (short of breath) and forgot to look for cars as his flight across the road began. By lan three, he was cleaned up....
I asked "well okay, was she worth the beating and getting hit by the car then....?"
The reply was most emphatic...
"Nahhhh sister! she was Urrgly!"
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Not the top end but... Had a plane load of prisoners and escorts for a town in the N of NSW. The indigenous prisoners were gloating over some of the jobs they had pulled,"Ay man, see dat buildin, an dats de golf club, you know, ober dere, we fixed im up wun nite, plurry good telebision and bideo. Dem dum copper _ _ _ _ _ ere dun aven't a clue who dun it" etc etc.At the cop shop, the local D fronts them and wants to know what they did with the TV and Video from the Golf Club.
"Who tol you about dat, no one know bout dat!!"
They hadn't worked out that the escort was a plain clothed cop.
Atmosphere in the plane on the return leg was a bit strained.
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By a balmy Saturday night, two chappies had a problem or two...
problem a .... fence line for railway 3 months behind shedule
problem b .... young fella who was the lastest employee on the fence line quit as he wasnt getting paid, so jumped on his motorbike and headed back to albury
problem c .... the boss has the roadworthy vehicle
problem d .... the generator was out of fuel, and the oil radiator (supposed to be fixed by friday) from the dozer needed repairs and hadnt been pulled out of the dozer yet.
The generator ran the lights to be able to see the radiator
problem e ... major problem.. they were finished the 2 bottles of bundy, 1/2 doz spliffs and cartons of beer... allbought with the money they were supposed to buy the repairs with. Theyd started off with alot more, except when they stopped at the pub to buy the beer, they realised they wouldnt have enough to get the radiatorfixed and buy diesel for the genny, so they put some through the slot machine so in theory to win some back
So the solution .... go back to town from the camp, some 60 km out of Tennant....
They went to 3 ways (truckstop 25km out of tennant) and were told, nah sorry, its after hours and restricted licence only allowe for limited alcohol sales ie lite beer on premises.
EERRRrKKKKKk not drinkin that they cry!!!!
so back in the old landcruiser they climb...
now let me describe the landcruiser.... the only part not modified in some respect was the last toyota badge on the side of the front panel. It had a tough workstation/ canopy welded to the tray, one of the four brake sets worked, (the front right), the handbrake cable was disconnected some years previously after getting snagged, the accelerator had a peice of wire and string attached.... so the accelerator would get you to 60ish km/h, but if you wanted faster, you would pull at the wire and string combo, the rego was some years out of date, the tyres... well dunlop could have had them for research purposes, and so on...
so leaving three ways, they accelerated, something was up so our hapless driver tried to brake, only got the right one happening, swerved drunkenly and finally rolled off the road and into a ditch... the toyota landing in an undignified fashion on its roof, thus squashing it considerably...
We eventually rocked up and the usual giveaway to a road prang, is the road train parked in the middle or off to the side of the road with the hazard lights on. Thus it was in this case. We slowed down and out of the darkness into our headlights walked two of the drunkest charaters Ive seen in a while.
They were holding dolphin torches each, but didnt bother to switch them on.... the breath from each was sooooo bad, I was bound to show a positive breath test... it looked like Dumb and dumber had two competitors for the slot.
Wheres the prang we asked... Dumb looked blank and then replied ... sshh down dere, *drunken indication of toyota in ditch*
Were you both in the car? .... yep but we don need ambu... ambu... *points at our truck* you know... that!
I turned to speak to Dumber... standin on the fringes while his friend kept drunkenly reiterating, that neither required our services. Come for a walk I says to Dumb... Come show me the truck, thus allowing my partner to assess the very quiet dumber
The police duely arrived and Id passed on the basic details about our friends... Dumber was now ensconced in the back of our truck, with a queried head injury... Dumb wasnt happy!
So dumb now wouldnt co-operate with the police either, but kept digging himself deeper and deeper into the guilt mire... he kept telling the police about all sorts of defects with the truck and how they needed to get things fixed tonight... they even had to drive without headlights as the *%#!ers dint work!
So devising a plan, that would keep both Dumb and Dumber happy... I needed an escort, aperson who knew what happened in the prang to come to hospital with Dumber... Dumb thought that a marvellous idea!
With police following we made our way back to hospital... Dumb happily repeating the faults with the toyota and their self admitted drunken state. SO we gets to hospital, and they have all but arrested Dumb for being an obnoxious drunken pratt. but they need a blood test... this guy is still digging himself the biggest redneck legal hole... I had to run outside to burst out laughing... I was followed at speed by two nurses the doc and the police officers...
Dumb wondered why, even after he had been read the rights, why he'd been deserted, and so figured hed come out too.
He asked the police for a cigarette.... go figure... hed been trying the intellegence of every person there for approx the last hour!. The police officer to his credit, gave him a cig.
Dumb then complained it wanst full strength!.... in his drunken stupour he then sat on the concrete, pulled out the filter, split it down the middle, put half back and demanded a light... it was just commical, it took most of five minutes to acheive... by which time everyone ealse either had finished their cigarettes and laughs, and had to go back inside... that saw the end of the tether.... Dumb was introduced to the newest fashion statement in his life.... a nice set of steel bracelets...
problem a .... fence line for railway 3 months behind shedule
problem b .... young fella who was the lastest employee on the fence line quit as he wasnt getting paid, so jumped on his motorbike and headed back to albury
problem c .... the boss has the roadworthy vehicle
problem d .... the generator was out of fuel, and the oil radiator (supposed to be fixed by friday) from the dozer needed repairs and hadnt been pulled out of the dozer yet.
The generator ran the lights to be able to see the radiator
problem e ... major problem.. they were finished the 2 bottles of bundy, 1/2 doz spliffs and cartons of beer... allbought with the money they were supposed to buy the repairs with. Theyd started off with alot more, except when they stopped at the pub to buy the beer, they realised they wouldnt have enough to get the radiatorfixed and buy diesel for the genny, so they put some through the slot machine so in theory to win some back
So the solution .... go back to town from the camp, some 60 km out of Tennant....
They went to 3 ways (truckstop 25km out of tennant) and were told, nah sorry, its after hours and restricted licence only allowe for limited alcohol sales ie lite beer on premises.
EERRRrKKKKKk not drinkin that they cry!!!!
so back in the old landcruiser they climb...
now let me describe the landcruiser.... the only part not modified in some respect was the last toyota badge on the side of the front panel. It had a tough workstation/ canopy welded to the tray, one of the four brake sets worked, (the front right), the handbrake cable was disconnected some years previously after getting snagged, the accelerator had a peice of wire and string attached.... so the accelerator would get you to 60ish km/h, but if you wanted faster, you would pull at the wire and string combo, the rego was some years out of date, the tyres... well dunlop could have had them for research purposes, and so on...
so leaving three ways, they accelerated, something was up so our hapless driver tried to brake, only got the right one happening, swerved drunkenly and finally rolled off the road and into a ditch... the toyota landing in an undignified fashion on its roof, thus squashing it considerably...
We eventually rocked up and the usual giveaway to a road prang, is the road train parked in the middle or off to the side of the road with the hazard lights on. Thus it was in this case. We slowed down and out of the darkness into our headlights walked two of the drunkest charaters Ive seen in a while.
They were holding dolphin torches each, but didnt bother to switch them on.... the breath from each was sooooo bad, I was bound to show a positive breath test... it looked like Dumb and dumber had two competitors for the slot.
Wheres the prang we asked... Dumb looked blank and then replied ... sshh down dere, *drunken indication of toyota in ditch*
Were you both in the car? .... yep but we don need ambu... ambu... *points at our truck* you know... that!
I turned to speak to Dumber... standin on the fringes while his friend kept drunkenly reiterating, that neither required our services. Come for a walk I says to Dumb... Come show me the truck, thus allowing my partner to assess the very quiet dumber
The police duely arrived and Id passed on the basic details about our friends... Dumber was now ensconced in the back of our truck, with a queried head injury... Dumb wasnt happy!
So dumb now wouldnt co-operate with the police either, but kept digging himself deeper and deeper into the guilt mire... he kept telling the police about all sorts of defects with the truck and how they needed to get things fixed tonight... they even had to drive without headlights as the *%#!ers dint work!
So devising a plan, that would keep both Dumb and Dumber happy... I needed an escort, aperson who knew what happened in the prang to come to hospital with Dumber... Dumb thought that a marvellous idea!
With police following we made our way back to hospital... Dumb happily repeating the faults with the toyota and their self admitted drunken state. SO we gets to hospital, and they have all but arrested Dumb for being an obnoxious drunken pratt. but they need a blood test... this guy is still digging himself the biggest redneck legal hole... I had to run outside to burst out laughing... I was followed at speed by two nurses the doc and the police officers...
Dumb wondered why, even after he had been read the rights, why he'd been deserted, and so figured hed come out too.
He asked the police for a cigarette.... go figure... hed been trying the intellegence of every person there for approx the last hour!. The police officer to his credit, gave him a cig.
Dumb then complained it wanst full strength!.... in his drunken stupour he then sat on the concrete, pulled out the filter, split it down the middle, put half back and demanded a light... it was just commical, it took most of five minutes to acheive... by which time everyone ealse either had finished their cigarettes and laughs, and had to go back inside... that saw the end of the tether.... Dumb was introduced to the newest fashion statement in his life.... a nice set of steel bracelets...
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: Land of Oz
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At the company I used to work for we often had "locals" ring up and ask, "wat taam dat den dirty plane leebin?". "Ahh, ten thirty". "What taam it?". "Eleven o'clock". "Cun ah still git on it eghh?". "Um...no. It's already left". "Weel let me sbeek to dat dem dare pahlot den.". At this point we generally hung up from laughter.
Ahhh the Territory.
Ahhh the Territory.