pilgrim
 

Call me gay, transexual, mock the woman I own and ridicule my parents.

But please don't accuse me of being american:D

As for image problem no worries on that count, sleep easy and don't fret, morning will soon be here and dawn will bring another dull monday, a kiss on the doorstep from the burst mattress, and a mundane trip to mundane work in the mundane mondeo.

Want me to post you a noose, your choice, why not hang the ball and chain and liven up a bit get yourself a trout that doesn't carry a wide load sticker :D

I have read this thread with a certain amount of incredulity -
northernmonkey is clearly a member of the Army!

This thread resembles the standard commonly found on ARSSE in the NAFFI thread.

I personally find it both peurile and insulting to women. May I suggest that if anyone has a photo of this clown his image is printed up on a playing card and handed to members of the US armed forces so he can be arrested and sent on a free trip to Quantanimo Bay for crimes against humanity.

Heliport - neither do I, and on questioning the Godfather, neither did he , but thanks :)

Wolf - You've got it in one, it does resemble that doesn't it

:D

No I am NOT NorthernMonkey, only one ID on PPrune.

Anyway, i look forward to the continuation of this thread, and wonder the obvious... Why haven't the light blue got stuck into the Army wives yet? Lord, I've seen some munters....

Little Blue.

Mingers DO try harder until they capture you. Then they make life HELL!Honest.

SOLOTK.

Army wives rarely come out during daylight, Very hard to catch them on film. Like my wife, they look OK on their back with the lights out.

Very true

Took the future Mrs solo to a mess do. She was most unkind , and wondered, if she should get stuck into the jelly donuts soonest, so to fit in better.... :)

Don't start me on the Ron hills and white stillettoe gang, I really will get banned then:D

I think this thread just goes to show..

Poms really are whingers :E

I'm not commenting on other's women..

My mates have seen where I've been, and it involved pre breathing 100% oxy just to get up on top of most of them :O

Handy euphemisms...
 

NorthernMonkey don't listen to 'em - Funniest post I've read in ages!!!!:}

I'm sure you don't need any but just in case here's a few options for future descriptions...

SHE HAD A HEAD LIKE A:

She had a head like a half chewed mintie

She had a head like a dropped pie

She had a head like a half sucked mango

She had a head like a deep sea racing lobster

She had a head like a boarding house plum pudding

She had a head like a slapped arse

She had a head like a busted cinema seat

She had a head like a bucket of busted arseholes

She had a head like a half squeezed lemon

She had a head like a bucket full of foetus's

She had a head like a half eaten sushi roll

She had a head like a bucket of smashed crabs

She had a head like a half eaten birthday cake

She had a head like a burnt thong

She had a head like its been lit on fire and put out with a bike chain

She had a head like its been lit on fire and put out with a screwdriver

She had a head like its been lit on fire and put out with an axe

She had a head like a bulldog eating custard

She had a head like dog chewing a wasp

She had a head like Hessing

She had a head like a bashed in !!!! can

She had a head like a half eaten pastie

She had a head like a twisted ugg boot

She had a head like a cat licking !!!! off a thistle

She had a head like a bag full of spanners

She had a head like a busted watermelon

She had a head like curdled custard

She had a head like a hatful of arseholes

She had a head like a half chewed chop

She had a head like a chicko roll

She had a head like a busted hymen

She had a head like a bruised arsehole

She had a head like a kicked in piss trough

She had a head like a baboon's arse

She had a head like split haemorrhoid

She had a head like fresh road kill

She had a head like a bus crash

She had a head like a twisted hubcap

She had a head like a toilet bowl after a dodgy curry

She had a head like a half sucked fat

She had a head like a smacked sandshoe

She had a head like a rusted muffler

She had a head like a blind spot welders bench



GENERAL:

If i had a head like hers, I'd circumcise it

She fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down

I wish her old man had just settled for a blow job

She's been hit by the fugley stick too many times

I've seen better heads at a piss trough

If i had a dog that looked like her I'd shave its arse and make it walk backwards

I've had better looking !!!!s than her head

She’s so ugly hell’s angels wouldn’t root her


:ok:

Hey NMonkey

Please refrain from slinging mud at Americans, It isn't that far a run from Iraq to your house and some of these guys are sensitive souls you know. And don't be so sure we can't find your skinny butt. God knows half of the people who know you would probably give you up for a candy bar:p :p


Woff1965............ Gitm for nmonkey, no way, if the !st MEF go after him he gets flying lessons at 35000 on the grounds that he is too rude for Gitmo.:yuk:

Hell's donkeys, I go to work for the day and you Poms spend the northern night turning one page into eight.

Booger, mate, absolute classic, near wet myself. I haven't heard many of those before, but by Christ, I think I've had most of them!

Then again, these days I'm no Brad Pitt either.....

Little Blue (are we related?!) you're right there; they don't yell, they don't tell, and they're as grateful as hell....

nm, I wouldn't post pics even if I knew how. I'm keeping the good ones to myself and the rest wouldn't make it through the virus scanner

:D :D :yuk: :yuk:

T richard

Mud slung in retaliation from one of your fellow countrymen, adn do we really need to upset them to be shot at by them?:D

If the 1 MEF got hold of me the only thing I will be afraid of is the safe keeping of my botty:D

Now please stop dragging this thread off topic and lets get back to slating the vomit filled bin liners that greeted the ego pilots at leuchars

Biting only serves to fuel my childish rantings:D

Ill bet the Officers Mess up there never has a fancy dress party, what could they come as? Road kiil, train smash, something from the munsters etc etc

Hey, great thread when slagging of the wives of the junior service, but lets leave the Army wives alone. Alright!

What a top laugh, this thread has brightened up a otherwise dull time in Sandsville, Kuwait. If people can't take a joke ,and a bit of banter, is it worth getting out of bed in the morning...?

My particular fav line is "a face like a blind cobblers thumb"

The bites on this thread are as funny as the gags..:ok:

SAS

If you're not bleedin careful I'm going to start quoting from my SAS book again & it's going to be twenty times worse than my first post if you had the luck to see it. :D

Emerald

My mates have seen where I've been, and it involved pre breathing 100% oxy just to get up on top of most of them


Oh God - Classic line Pass, blimmin near swamped meself.

Ed - Another classic

Booger - You dA mAn , that was outstanding. I'm laughing out loud, and the PA knows I'm not working.

Beags - Did you have a hard week pumping gas? Normally you'd have seen straight through this one

Classic stuff Mil Blokes, keep it up. :D

Further footage
 

of the Herman Munsters stunt doubles .

They came on the box and my Golden Retriever ran in the garden and topped himself.

The window cleaner is now trying to sue me for exposing him to a sight more fowl than a bucket of smashed shell fish:D

A good run, but your peaking. Interesting piscatorial technique though, blunt but v effective.

Paterbrat

Not peaked just moderating before i sink to new lows:D

WOLF1965, I owe you an apology, I can see why you have the hump, just noticed you are welsh. Not your fault, address your parents rather than bend my ear, I can imagine the brides of Frankenstien look like FHM models to a bloke who has been brough up on sheep and the odd dead goat:D

Anyone else notice a distinct similarity in style, syntax etc. of northernmonkey and spongycrabstix and to a lesser extent Daystodo?

Possibly all one person, certainly not more than two and they are working together for sure!

Barry Mundane
 

Your dull little analysis excercise has failed you.

Iam certainley not Days to do, he is a grubby little man from the midlands.

As for working together, maybe, is there a law against that, If you had any pals or a Partner fit for public viewing you too could join in. With a name like Barry I doubt it though

I referred to Spongycrabstix when banned from Jetblast:D The term don't let the B@$#ards grind you down springs to mind:D

I assume the library is shut for lunch