https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune....d5f7601073.png

Will it press my suit as well?

HRH on the phone asking 'Do you think we could get the Sussex's in here?' might give him some peace & quite!

It's quite simple really, once we miniaturize you, we will insert you up the rectum of the Prime Minister, rather like a suppository and you will be able to report back via that phone on the condition of his bowels.

He wants to know, were you mis-sold PPI?

It's Ikea, they say they sent the wrong instructions, it's not a sunbed after all.

"Thank you, Mr. Hoskins, but I think the existing telephone boxes work just fine."

You think this is bad, you should see the size of the telephone exhange that has to accompany you.

He says “Send three and fourpence, he's going to a dance”.

It's Cadbury's on the line - they love it and want to use it in their Smash adverts...

She says I need to press button A, I say you don't happen to have any change do you?

Time up....you've completed the lie detector capsule test and we can confirm that you're not a politician.

Hello, is this the future?
No Sir, we've had a cryogenic pump failure, you've only been in there 10 minutes.

“… and I can use this to call Room Service …”

Ok, this IS a phone but I'm not ET...

Huh....you may laugh but one day it'll catch on, they'll pay good money for this and call it glamping.

Hong Kong hoteliers are also thought ro be early adopters.

I've just invented the Podcast...

Hoskins, when I said go away and invent a cell phone .....I was hoping for a... oh never mind!

"It's the maître d'. He says your order for oysters on the half shell is ready."

- Ed