Man kneeling remembers....The Blue cable is attached to the Red shackle... on no account the green one...Or was it? Should have paid more Attention to Carrier Ops 101...

Sharkey in the Cockpit...When I was on Harriers did not have this faffing about. ...

Goose, kick the tyres and light the fires...
Talk to me Goose...Goose..
**** it's a single seater

Gp Cap Monsieur LeHoskins checks his log book, confirmed this is his 17th catapult launch as noted on the aircraft stencils, However Checks the Trap column is still blank, empty, zero , zilch nada.

Kiltrash, you beat me to the draw ....

”Hoskins’ successful ejections were recorded on yet another airframe”

Captain of ship asked to slow down, as the Jag was approaching Vne on the deck.

The Pilot was surprised to run out of fuel on the practice bombing run when he discovered the external tank was actually a bucket of instant sunshine.

The Red Shirts had heard what usually befell them on the USS Enterprise so when needed were not to be seen.

Hurry up, the boy on the beach has to go home for his tea.

Why all the jibes about the jags speed?
Because the bridle will probably get further!


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Trainee launch guy, "Why does the nose wheel extend like that"?
Experienced launch guy, "Because it generates more lift, same idea as on the Phantom".
Pilot, "PHANTOM!!!! WHERE"?

You'd be better sending those bombs by Packlink. They're more likely to get delivered!

"I hear that Jaguar is to become an all electric brand after 2025".

"I hope that these cables will be long enough to reach the target then".

Bridge to Engine Room - Warp factor 7, Scotty

She cannae take it Captain... Can we no' beam the bloody thing up?

Not really a caption, but a good excuse for a really old joke...

"Doctor! I think that I have Hermes".

"Don't you men Herpes?"

"No - I think I'm a carrier".

The Captain won't have it in the hangar, so just to make sure we've hung 3 tonnes of bomb-shaped concrete on it, we've hung Chiefy's model submarine on it and we've stuck the fat work-experience kid in the cockpit, but orders is orders so we tie it down. Finish tightening that and we can get below. Storm forecast or not, this one's not going anywhere.

"Somebody tell this idiot that with his tailhook down, the thing won't launch!"

"That's exactly why he put it down! He is only the cook's assistant, sitting in there for the photo shoot."

Little known fact about the French Navy, when they launched, the Pilots shouted Foch Off!!!

International woman's day...wtf .. next thing you know it's will be the pu$$ypit.

It's going whether it flies or not - the ship's cat is jealous.

I think it's a mutual feline, Sir.

Remember sir, let's try this time, wings down and locked

We have been invited in a show of solidarity to join the UK in the armada to retake the Falklands. To provide fast jet CAP to protect the task force.
Now remember we only fly between 10 and 12 if the sun's out, The chefs prepared Camembert for breakfast and we get medals.
Thatcher. ..nah don't need your help, hop it Froggy.

"Sorry Sir. Your Swordfish is in for servicing and you'll have to make do with this until its back on the line again".

Mrs Hoskins feels her husband it taking the carrier ops sim in the garage a bit too serious

Judge's recheck the rules for the " Who can fly a paper aeroplane the furthest " University Challenge

When the hoover used to vacuum clean the deck broke its replacement was obvious.

The 2021 Bognor Birdman Competition attracts its most ambitious - and ultimately unsuccessful - entry to date...

Hurry up guys, we've got a piano on approach.

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It's a little-known fact that jaguars are excellent swimmers.

It's Bob, he says he's just nipping home to use the bog.... :E

Not an entry... in fact more an exit :E

It doesn't seem to want to go sir!
Ok, maybe we undo those shackles back to the deck, and I'll tell him to try it with the hook raised as well!

Remember remember the Firework Code. NEVER return to a lit device if it don't fly...

Now, all internal and external tanks have been topped off but are you quite sure you've got enough fuel to get back ashore?

Mon Dieu, it's only vingt kilometres away!

I know - but supposing you need to go around?

Mon Dieu, remind me again Pierre, which bit did we build ..?
You'll be pleased to know the British build the ejection seat

Move over Froggy, said Clarkson, we have Black Stig to get rid off after he wrote his book.

Mon Dieu, is that a White E Type I see on the Catapult. ?

Ze centreline tank? Of course it full of wine - we are on detachment. Do you think we stupid?

Emergency Flying Rations? We can't go far enough to get lost

Plane Director raises left arm and shouts "This thing's so slow it has to speed up to stop!"

Catapult Crewman screams reply "Why do you think I'm trying to disconnect this shuttle? Any more throttle and she'll be in full reverse! The ship'll go down by the transom!"

- Ed

"Eh! Francois! Don't bozzer wiz ze arrestor 'ook, as soon as you launch, ze ship will catch up wiz you and you can put it down again. Log one takeoff and one landing for .01 of an hour."