Right, quick piss on the tyre and we're good to go.

Captain Rover Over's general handling was fine but he had a tendency to chase the ball when on instruments.

The result of Ryanairs latest earnings idea: Customs duties for the flight crew, sniffing the SLF+freight for unwanted materials. As an additional bonus the flight crew happily works for dogs treats.

The sunnies are covering two black eyes, gained when he stuck his nose in the copilot's crotch. On finals.

Although aspects of his personal grooming could sometimes let him down, the captain's lipstick never failed to impress.

Ryanair negotiate gross pay = typical net pay for those who are not subject to income tax, national insurance, pension contributions and so on.

My last job? I used to be a Snipers assistant

Outtake from AIRPLANE, the movie with what really happened when the Airline driver came to collect Rex ( Kramer )

After his Air Force Career was ended after that accident, Hot Shots Part Trois Follows his civilian job

Pilot....Got the Maps??
Co-Pilot....no the Bonio.

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/i...EPLlA&usqp=CAU

Or

This is how I get the Chum through Security. Have you seen the food option on tonight's flight...eugh...

In case of accident so they can identify the body, got my Dog Tags...Remember that from my Air Force Days..
But you were only a K9 on perimeter patrol...

It was only later discovered the Co-Pilot had been castrated that morning...perhaps should have been stood down for a few days.

Dashhound could never be a Pilot, I mean have you seen the difficulty they have climbing steps after the walk round....

NOTAM....When you have a dog on the flight crew the human must do the walk round....if you want to achieve a on time departure

( dog lovers know that a simple walk with your dog takes forever with the amount of sniffing that goes on..)

"Beef or Chicken Captain?"
"Neither thanks. I'm just gonna lick my Jatz Crackers!"

"I've got......................................................... .....................................................the Nav bag"
"Why the big pause?"
"I was born with them."

"Where's the FO?"
"Downstairs humping the landing gear. He'll be along soon"

I hear the chief stewardess is a right dog....... Yummy

Or course i'm not a real pilot, I haven't got a firk orf big watch

You might laugh, but i've never got a complaint when i've stuck my snout in any hosties crotch, have you?

We'll be flying a dogleg to our destination.

What? all I asked the Chief Steward when boarding was had he got a bone on, are we not allowed to discuss catering anymore?

They don't let me fly anymore, last time they asked me to take the stick, I did and ran off down the cabin with it.

"Yes, I'm the lead pilot".

I'm just not any old pilot, i'm a pedigree chum..

When asked Buster confessed he didn't winalot.

The FBI bring in Dr Doolittle to find out how the dog managed to become a Pilot.
The Doctor translated woof woof bark bark to mean ....I actually tried to write Politician on the career form at school, but have you tried to hold a pen in your paws?

....and on my days off I guide blind people

I didn't see that one coming Kilt.

I also have to keep an eye on the Cabin Crew. If one of them wanders of, I have the retrieve 'er.

If you think flyings difficult, you want to try sheparding cats

The Mouthy Canine Assistance System is trained to bark when the AoA reaches a predetermined value.

The bags full,where can i put my log?

I'm Stevie the Wonder Dog. Is this my piano?

Well it beats paws down running round cold wet effin hills rounding up sheep, and all I get is a cold wet dinner the ad men say " if your dog could talk he'd tell you how good it is."
​​​​​​How would he know. .. has he tasted that old horse sh1te....

Ah Andrew meet your new co-pilot. at least this one won't kiss and tell...

At the pre flight briefing Rex was told he was not dressed properly and to " Tuck your tail in "

Mrs Hoskins was gutted that Mr Hoskins left her, however substituted the hole in her life with the family dog.
At least she knew where he was every night and was able to satisfy her in way her husband had been unable to, ever since the Long Haul Radiation issue was discovered. ..

If you think this is scary, you should see the looks I get driving into the Airport.

Only if the dog is a Pointer!