Caption waiting for Picture...
Tredigraph having breakfast in Weatherspoons nursing half a pint of Old Speckled Hen...
( Other drinking establishment and decent ale are available )

It'd be a cider Kilty - but brekkers was at home!

Try this one...

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune....f6d32f11ee.jpg

Da, why didn’t you tell me earlier Sergei that the Moskva was trialling a new cloaking device that makes it invisible to naked eye… why am I just learning about this now?

Sergei, I’m just calling to let you know you left your briefcase behind, an easy mistake as it was tucked in behind a desk leg.

Da, ve will have to end this meeting, now as Neighbours is starting shortly

Da Mr President, the war is going well…… (whispered) unfortunately not for our side.

(Incidentally, if anyone with an artistic bent wishes to alter the pic, visual gags will be taken into consideration!)

Da Mr President, we are desperately trying to reduce costs due to sanctions.
I can report we have cut Conscripts pay by some 10% and are working on significant cuts in vehicle maintenance costings as well throughout all our military forces.
Why, amongst our naval units, we have managed to reduce maintenance costs equivalent to two major warships in just the last month alone.

I’ll give it ago, ok photoshocked :}


https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/pprune....6105d46f9.jpeg

:p

"And for those watching in black and white, the red ball is in Sergei's jacket pocket."

"All those who don't expect to live past tomorrow, sit at the far end. Thank you."

("Is he talking about US being at the far end, or HIM??")

Vladimir finally realised things were not going well for his lightning fast Special Military Operation when his generals were too scared to even turn up to the Zoom meetings.

I'm sorry Mr Putin but Boris, Sergei and Mikhail won't be joining the call. They didn't come back from this morning's inspection of front line units. Anton is trying to join but the signal in the life boat is intermittent.

Putin...I turn my back for Easter weekend and go to my Black Sea Resort and what do I find on my return...Deep Stiletto heel scratches on my Mahogany Desk....President for the use off...
BIden. .., yes i had the same problem when i took over from Trump..

No don't worry about the Moskva, just press the reset button ...
No No Not THAT one.. coloured Red

All our operators are currently busy with other customers, Please hold your call will be answered in .. 15 hours. .Your call is important to us ...

General one to General two...At least Kim smiles just before he signs the Death Warrents

How Mr Johnson wished the ' Party gate ' pictures had been gotten to the papers

General 1 to General 2 "...no you tell him we have cancelled his Netflix to save money..."

"No Mr Putin...no idea why we can't get the News on theTV..........(in a hushed voice) ...Ivan...keep hold of that fuse I gave you...."